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Mental health

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Original poster

please help me

129 replies

sameoldsht · 20/03/2007 16:37

I am a mum of a 7 month old girl. She is driving me crazy. She constantly cries and moans and whinges and I cant cope with it anymore. since she was born she has been a misery and the few lovely moments I get every day just arent enough any more to keep me loving her as i should. I am thinking of putting her up for adoption but care for her too much to want to let her out of my control like that. I dont know what to do. I love her I just wish she would be more pleasant to be around. I hate her as well. Sometimes I want to hit her but i dont but I have shouted shut up at her when she has been continually crying. please help me I love my baby more than anything but I dont like her. I dont think I should have her anymore.

OP posts:

indiajane · 20/03/2007 17:44

Sameold, if you don't feel that you will get any support from your DH then call the samaritans - talking will help and it doesn't matter if what you say doesn't make a lot of sense or if you contradict yourself or anything. All that matters is that you let somebody start to help you - please do, look at all the support you've got here on MN, you've got it in RL too - you just have to reach out for it and let people know how you're feeling

GibbonInARibbon · 20/03/2007 17:45

have to go now..you have my mail, an offer from dior and others...please contact any of us, even just to talk.
x

naughtynoonoo · 20/03/2007 17:51

Sameoldsht, please reach out and take the offers of help that have been offered to you. Nobody judges anybody here please please get in touch with somebody who can help. You've made the first step by posting on here, let us help you with the rest.

Original poster

sameoldsht · 20/03/2007 18:43

hi again.

just had a bath with dd and a long talk with dh.

recently my meds have been adjusted. I think it goes without saying the adjustment has not been a success.

as of tonight i am going back to what i was on before and tomorrow i will phone my psychiatrist and tell him that the adjustment was an abysmal failure. i still will not tell him or anyone else how tempted i have been to kill dd and then myself as i just can not risk losing her. thank you for your help. really i mean it from the bottom of my heart thank you.

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lulumama · 20/03/2007 18:47

very very glad you are doing this....you can tell your psychiatrist anything and they won;t arrange for the baby to be taken, i promise you...better to be honest about how low you feel, so your treatment can be the best one possible x

filthymindedvixen · 20/03/2007 18:52

have read this thread with distress and I'm so glad you've spoken to your dh. But please tell your psychiatrist how you are really feeling, that you hasve thought about killing yourself and dd. It will them work out how best to help you. They won't take your daughter away. But it may even be a side effect from the medication you are currently on....(for example, remember in 2000 Prozac and SSRIs were linked to suicidal tendancies in a very small minority of users)

Please don't play down how you are really feeling.

Best ofluck, thinking of you x

GibbonInARibbon · 20/03/2007 18:59

had to log back on and see if you had posted, it is with relief that I read you are getting some help...filthymindedvixen is spot on, how you are feeling could be a possible side effect of meds/dosage, be honest - it is all in confidence and I promise you won't be the first (or last) person they have heard it from x

AnAngelWithin · 20/03/2007 20:01

sweetie i am so glad you have spoken to your dh. please tell your doctor how bad you are feeling. Please let us help you in any way we can. thinking of you. please please please take care x x x

Lucy81 · 20/03/2007 20:36

SOS, sweetheart, here's what i think u should do when you're feeling at your wits end. put her somewhere safe i.e cot/ playpen and remove yourself to the other end of the house and just try to take deep breaths. try to ignore the screaming for 10-15 mins just so you can recover your sanity a little. You are not a bad person for feeling this way, god knows we all have at some point, but you do need to find support to help you cope, so that you can take some time out from her regularly. Do you have a friend/ relative who can take her for a few hours a week while you have a break? failing that she's old enough to go to a local creche for a few hours. you do love her and you are a good mum, but you need to give yourself a break and get some outside support.

LilRedWG · 20/03/2007 21:32

Sameold - had to log on to check on you. I'm glad that you have had a good chat with DH and it sounds like he understands more now.

Call your psychiatrist first thing tomorrow and tell him exactly how bad you have been feeling. You don't have to say, "I've wanted to kill us both", you can say, "I've felt very strongly that she'd be better off without me". Any psychiatrist worth his salt will know exactly what you feel without you having to say the words which you feel will incriminate you in some way. As so many others have said, you are not at fault here - you are poorly. If you had a cough you would get treatment, this is no different!

Please keep in touch with us on here and let us know of any help we can be. Take care sweetheart. xxx

LilRedWG · 20/03/2007 21:33

Agree with Lucy. Now the weather is getting a bit warmer, you can put her somewhere safe and just go into your garden with a cuppa for five minutes peace. You'd be amazed at the wonders that can work.

lucyellensmum · 20/03/2007 22:30

sameold, i am so relieved that you managed to pull yourself together. I really admire you for coping (even if you dont feel as if you did, you did amazing). I totally agree with lilredwg, you are poorly, its a physical thing and it is NOT YOUR FAULT. If you had a physical complaint which was causing you physical pain you would be adamant that your doctor helped you out. This is the same, a medical condition that they must get your treatment sorted, its their jobs and you must allow them to do so. They wouldnt dream of taking your dd away from you if you tell them what you felt, just because you really felt like it, you didnt do it. I dont know very much about these things but all i can do is offer my support. hang in there you are doing so well - so glad you calmed down. Let us know how you get on.

Dior · 21/03/2007 09:30

Message withdrawn

indiajane · 21/03/2007 12:51

Hi Sameold - been thinking about you all day today and wondering how you are. My DS is coming up to 7 months old and it can be a really trying time.

We're all here for you, let us know how you are when you feel like it. x

AnAngelWithin · 21/03/2007 13:24

SOS how are you doing? have been worrying myself to death about you.

Original poster

sameoldsht · 21/03/2007 13:48

Hi all... First of all thank you for caring and thinking about me.

I have increased my meds hoping that will help. Ithink I have pinpointed the problem though. DD will only nap for 30 mins so wakes up tired and in a FOUL mood. She then does nothing but scream til the next nap. I cant get her to sleep any longer than 30 mins as hard as I have tried. if only she would scream less i could cope more. any ideas on how to get her to sleep for longer during the day?

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Original poster

sameoldsht · 21/03/2007 13:48

i did feel the urge to hurt her again today when she went through this screaming thing.

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Swizzler · 21/03/2007 13:52

Napping is a problem for us as well - does your DD sleep in the pram/buggy? If so, just bung her in as soon as she starts looking tired and head out (if the sun's out, should make you feel a bit better as well ). If not, try some other ways of getting her to sleep - carseat? swaddling?

DS is a nightmare when overtired (plus he isn't sleeping well at night) - it can be a nightmare.

There are plenty of other ideas on some of the Sleep threads. HTH

Swizzler · 21/03/2007 13:53

Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution? It has some good tips. Re naps, she suggests waking your child just before they normally wake (so perhaps after 25 mins) then settling them down to sleep again.

Original poster

sameoldsht · 21/03/2007 13:54

no she sleeps in her cot... i will check the sleep threads as well

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Original poster

sameoldsht · 21/03/2007 13:54

i have the book but havent read it shame on me

when have i got the time though?!

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Swizzler · 21/03/2007 13:55

Hmm, DS won't sleep for more than 1/2 hour at a time in his cot, so we end up spending a lot of time out walking. But if you post a q in the Sleep section I'm sure you'll get a lot more advice .

Swizzler · 21/03/2007 13:57

And if she will sleep in the buggy, you could try walking to the park (till she's fast asleep) then sitting on a bench in the sun until she wakes up - I get most of my reading done that way . Housework does NOT get done, but hey

Dior · 21/03/2007 13:57

Message withdrawn

AnAngelWithin · 21/03/2007 14:00

i have heard of some babies developnig colic later on. i dont know if this is right? have you started weaning?

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