so low I can't wash

[Aveiam]

I feel so terrible right now that I haven't been able to make myself wash in 3 days.
I feel disgusting please don't be mean to me about it.
I really want to be fixed. I'm on 60mg fluoxetine and have been waiting for the psychiatric team to get back to my GP to see about a change in medication. The diagnosis is depression.
I just feel so low. I just want to be better.
Any advice on how to change this, how to get better for myself without tablets?

I don't want to talk about her because then she's everyone else's and she is safe in my head no one can hurt her

Im sorry

Thinking of you OP xx

That's understandable, Aveiam. You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to.

We're here though. If there's anything you want to say.

Please can someone help me

Talk to us if you want to Aveiam

I don't know how to cope anymore

Yes I can see things aren't good with you, it must be very hard

I need it to get better. I just want to be gone and I can't even do that right

Yes, you do need it to get better. It will happen, but depression tells you it won't. That's what it does.

Maybe there's a reason for that, maybe you are meant to fight this. Whether it's to help others who have been through what you and your daughter have or whether it's for a strong life we can't predict. Some part of you is still fighting. You might feel like you are failing but there is a little spark even if you can't feel it yet.

How are you today Aveiam?

I haven't been able to move or do anything I am sorry I am rubbish

Then don't. You don't have to x

When are you next seeing someone Aveiam, do you have any GP or CPN appts booked?

How are you? Do u have any friends who could help with practical stuff.
Could you just get them to bring you food or juice to you ? Bit worried your going to feel even worse if you get weak and dehydrated cx

I don't have friends I don't have anyone. I just want this all to be finished now

We can hear what you're saying. Just take it hour by hour. Some of the helplines you can text or email instead. I know I am better with doing that rather than calling.

One step at a time as Middle says. Texting the helplines is a good idea too. You don't have to say much, just say something like what you've said here and hopefully they will send you a supportive email in return.

Are you listening to the radio/music at all, or watching TV?

I don't really know what's happening or what's going on. I feel like I'm losing it

Can you watch something with things happening now like This Morning? Or maybe try to sit outside for a bit today in the sun? Or even sit by the window and watch people and cars etc?

It sounds like you might be experiencing some depersonalisation/derealisation? That can happen when we experience extreme depression and distress, perhaps reading about those things a little might help you achieve a little insight?

In terms of coping techniques, anything practical and mindful to help keep you present in the moment and just cope minute by minute- something with physical sensation or that requires your attention to do. For me, colouring, playing a game, listening to a mindfulness app, building a lego model, cleaning, or doing a beauty self-treatment like paint my nails, use a face mask, or even put makeup on even though I'm not going out. I know that some or all of these things might sound completely ludicrously impossible right now but I just want to give you an idea of what kind of things might be helpful to think about. I know this might all seem solution-focused when a you want is a space to talk and be heard.

Have you been given a crisis number to call if you need, or are you seeing a HCP any time soon? I'm glad that you're still posting to us here

How are you op x