Late abortion for mental health reasons - any experience?

[Sleeplessinnorthlondon]

This is a very sensitive and maybe ill advised post. I have a termination booked for Monday. I have battled pregnancy anxiety all through this and can't keep it going any more. I will be 18+1 so last week they can do the 1 day surgical abortion. On the one hand, as I am not in sound mind I can see there are arguments against doing this, on the other, have tried so, so hard with counselling, CBT, therapy, psych, midwife, friends, family to accept help and get my head straight and nothing worked for long at all and feels now like am at the last chance. Yes, things might improve, equally, they might not and bringing a child into the world to be raised by me in this mind set feels like the worst thing I could do, worse than termination. I have been advised that termination could leave me feeling worse but I struggle to see how it could do at present and it's a risk I increasingly feel I want to take.

Oh OP, I'm so glad you've given us this update! You are so brave and I'm so relived to hear that you're going to keep fighting. I'm thinking of you still. Thank you so much for updating.

And keep updating if it helps, you are doing brilliantly.

Sleepless I too am so relieved to hear you have access to the treatment you need. You are so strong, you can beat this with help now!

I'm so pleased you're getting the help you need. May it all be onwards and upwards from here.

Sending unmumsnetty hugs

Great to read your update
You CAN do this Op
Thinking of you

Wonderful to hear that you were able to access help. You have been extremely brave today and there are so many of us here willing you on and able to offer support over the days and weeks to come.

Well done I'm so pleased that you've found help. I hope that in time you can start enjoying your pregnancy, as you deserve to do

Everyone always places so much on having a perfect baby. But who has perfect babies? Not me, not anyone, all of us are born and have babies with imperfections! Your baby is already here. He doesn't see or hear or feel your anxiety, all he hears and sees is your heartbeat and your warmth and your light.

Wonderful news! I'm so happy you will be getting proper help.

you can do this x

Hi sleepless
I am certain that getting the right treatment will help you feel like yourself again. In the midst of the anxiety I'm sure it can be hard to see a way out. But there is hope and a whole community of women who have experienced maternal OCD! Have a look on Twitter. It's where I get all my MH chat/information/meet amazing people!

Well done OP. Keep us updated. We're happy to support you

So glad to read this update

I am so pleased to read your update and I apologise for my initial comment.

Sleepless
I am so so pleased to hear that you are going to have your wonderful, beautiful baby.
You have made such a good decision, the first step towards successful motherhood and a much happier life.
Well done!

Well done Sleepless - you got this

You are doing the right thing Sleepless and you are a brave woman. You will be a good mother.

Ah that's great please update us.l Looking forward to reading you post you have had your beautiful baby.

Another update (posting this on all my various crackers threads from past months) - couple of wobbles here and there but (ALMOST) completing believing the now FOUR docs who have all said no risk to worry about at all, ALMOST believing anxiety not at level or at point in pregnancy to have caused further complications (worrying about worrying...) and really starting to look forward to having this child. Thank you thank you thank you all so very very much for all your huge huge support mumsnet, going to always offer support to any other friends I've yet to meet on mumsnet where I can in gratitude for enormously helpful interventions from all of you. Huge love, sleepless xxx

Well done OP, so pleased to hear that, keep on going step by step and you will get there

So pleased to hear this, great news ?xxx

Thank for the update. This is great news - you can do this!

Wonderful update OP. So happy to read you are getting to a much better place.

Congratulations and I hope you can feel the pride you should for being so strong and brave in the face of such difficult mental health issues.