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Original poster

Extremely sad news to share

151 replies

creamhearts · 13/05/2015 20:13

I'm sorry to have to let you all know that Helen sadly passed away early this morning.

I know that she has posted on Mumsnet for over 10 years, under many different user names, and I'm not sure what they all might be, but this is the user name that is stored on her laptop.

I know that she was not in pain and she had her parents and myself with her.

Its difficult to put into words, but I know that she always loved posting and spending time on these boards, and I know she offered so much to your community, even when she was not at her best.

I hope that I have put this message in the correct section, and if not please move it to the most appropriate area.

With great sadness

Jon ( Helen's husband )

OP posts:
downbythelane · 15/05/2015 17:09

So sorry to hear this. Best wishes to you and Helen's parents x

Gunpowder · 15/05/2015 17:25

I 'knew' Helen mostly as Fluffy too. She posted about you lots: how amazing and supportive you were.

Fluffy wrote really insightfully about mental health, and I am so sorry she lost the fight. Thinking of you and Helen's family. Flowers

tinkerkitten · 15/05/2015 18:37

Dear Jon I have always followed your wife's journey under FDG.
What always came across was her love for you and how much she appreciated your love and support. You did everything you could to keep her safe and well. I cannot imagine how you and you families must feel right now. x

SagaNorensLeatherTrousers · 15/05/2015 18:41

So sorry to hear this. Thanks

Selks · 15/05/2015 19:11

I know I've already posted on this thread but I was thinking about this earlier, and realised that I owe Helen more of a debt of gratitude than I realised....I am a mental health practitioner, and I realise now that reading Helen's candid and insightful writings on here really taught me such a lot, I know it will help me be a better practitioner and hopefully allow me to support my clients better. Thank you Helen x

larahusky · 15/05/2015 19:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

larahusky · 15/05/2015 20:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

madeuplovesong44 · 15/05/2015 20:09

Jon, I have thought of you and of Helen all day and tried to think of what I might say. I can't imagine what you are going through and I'm so sorry.

I followed Helen's posts as fluffy over a long time. She touched me with her insight into what is such an awful condition. Her intelligence, humour and kindness shone through even in the darkness.

It was on her most recent thread as Cream that I stopped lurking and started chatting.I was amazed that Helen was always so selfless with her thoughtful advice and compassion to others, even recently. She inspired me to contribute on her thread. I'm just so sorry that I couldnt have done more to help.

I have had similar experiences to Helen and often felt her eloquence expressed things I have felt but didn't know how to say.

I am deeply saddened that she is gone and I will miss her and her posts greatly. I am about to take a step towards working for the nhs to develop recovery orientated mental health services. Helens experiences that she so generously shared will certainly play a part of my motivation. I thank her for that.

I hope you have good people around you Jon, I will be thinking of you.

HollyJollyDillydolly · 15/05/2015 20:51

So sorry to hear this :(

Sharpkat · 15/05/2015 21:20

I too would like to make a donation in Helen's memory to Mind so will keep an eye out for details.

One of the things I remember about Helen and her love for you Jon was on a thread about "do you ever take your wedding ring off?" and Helen's emphatic "I never take mine off."

Hope that you and Helen's parents are able to find some comfort in the love for her that shines out on this thread. She will be sorely missed.

colouringinagain · 15/05/2015 22:02

Jon, I'm so sorry for you and Helen's family at this time.

I "knew" her a little as Fluffy Dressing Gown and Creamhearts. She suffered a lot, but kept going and gave a lot of support on these threads. She was an amazing person - and you have been an amazing husband.

Hold onto her finally having peace and quiet.

Thinking of you all and sending apparently unmumsnetty (((hugs))) and Flowers

SaucyJack · 15/05/2015 22:36

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

Helen was a sweetheart, and was a great help to many of us who posted on this board. Our BPD community will be a poorer place without her.

I hope you are at peace now Helen xx

dontrunwithscissors · 16/05/2015 07:59

So very sorry for your loss. I also knew her as fluffydressinggown and chatted at various times. She'll be very much missed.

alwaysstaytoolong · 16/05/2015 15:29

So sorry to hear this. I'm a MH nurse and often don't post on threads in MH because sometimes they can seem (understandably in some cases) anti MH professionals and I want to leave a space for people - particularly for people with BPD to express their feelings without me butting in and saying 'I think lots of us MH professionals DO care and do our best' or offering the other perspective. I won't intrude on that space.

But Helen as fluffy or cream always spoke positively about MH services and the support she received and I appreciated that.

I've known many service users lose the fight against their illness during my career. I grieved for all of them but with some like Helen I knew the torture they lived with on a daily basis and I also felt relieved for them.

I've seen both sides and have experienced life - threatening depression myself so have some perspective on deep psychological pain. If you told me I'd go back to that place and it might not get better - I don't know what I would do to be honest.

I've held the hands of families through this loss and hope you're all getting support right now. Flowers

knackered69 · 16/05/2015 19:43

Jon - I am so so sorry about Helen - I can't begin to imagine what you must be going through.

I knew Helen largely as fluffy - I followed many of her threads, and what came across was her tremendous pain, struggle and her deep love for you. I remember how she tried to distract herself with colouring in, painting her nails, and her sense of humour!

In the midst of all her pain, there was a desire to make sense of it all and a worry of letting people down. But she always tried to reach out to help others, and her love and feelings for you always came across.

I am so sorry about Helen - I hope that you find love, support and strength to enable you to put one foot in front of the other at this time and for the times to come xxx

pixiestix · 16/05/2015 19:57

I'm so very very sorry for your loss Jon.

Roomba · 16/05/2015 20:09

I'm very, very sorry to hear about Helen, Jon.

I also followed many of her threads and found her to be such a kind, thoughtful, caring woman with a great sense of humour despite everything she went through. She suffered for so long and was very brave indeed.

She will be greatly missed here. Thinking of you and the rest of her family and will be lighting a candle for her tonight xx

Pyrrhagena · 19/05/2015 06:09

So very sorry to hear about Fluffy. Thinking of you.

djrmrcbhyvf · 21/05/2015 01:40

OMG so sorry for your loss. I followed her recent thread on here and she has posted on mine. Glad she did not suffer and is now at peace

KnottyAndPistey · 23/06/2015 19:55

Hello everyone.

We just wanted to let everyone know that we have spoken with Jon and are so pleased that he has accepted our offer of a Woolly Hug, we know it was mentioned on this thread.

The link is here if anyone would like to join us.

We also have the link to Jon's fundraising thread, we know kind folk have said they would like to donate in Helen's memory.

Thank you so much Thanks

GleamingHeels · 23/06/2015 21:51

I'm so sorry for your loss Jon. So many people so loved Helen, I'm sorry I didn't get to talk to her, but I am one of the people who help Knotty and Pistey make the blankets and will make something as beautiful as I possibly can for you

Mnp2015 · 23/06/2015 22:12

Thinking of you Jon and of Helen.

I read her posts at a time of deep sorrow when a new friend suffered a severe mh break and she sadly died just a week later.

Helen will be remembered in our virtual world for her wisdom, caring and her spirit.

Take care of yourself xxx

DollyTwat · 23/06/2015 23:10

So very very sad to read this today
I'm so sorry Jon for your loss - Helens threads were sad to read, she was so bright and funny and I think everyone hoped she would find a light to bring her through.
She's at peace now

LotsaDots · 23/06/2015 23:30

Sad I'm sorry too. I remember Helen as FluffyDressingGown. I still often think of her even though I've not seen her more recent posts. love and best wishes to Jon and family x

FaithLoveandHope · 24/06/2015 17:35

I haven't been around a lot lately and so have only just seen this. I'm so sorry to hear this, Jon. I knew Helen a little as cream on the MH village thread. Despite her struggles she was always so incredibly supportive to each and everyone of us on that thread, she was a little light in the darkness for all of us. I so wished she had her own light and was getting better and it's so sad to hear she's gone. Sending love to you and Helen's family Flowers