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SPRINGTIME in the VILLAGE (Support for all Mental Health Issues)

720 replies

NanaNina · 22/03/2015 02:18

Thought I'd start a new thread what with it being the Spring Equinox and all that..........and there's another reason. I'm hoping to re-connect with people who used to be frequent village visitors, but like me, seem to have fallen by the wayside. Of course everyone is welcome in the Village, so I hope more recent visitors understand my post and will not feel de-valued in any way. The stigma of mental illness is alive and well I reckon so we all need all the support we can get.

SO - CALLING

Vicar (she started the Village thread some years ago and occasionally pops in) Edwinia'sRevenge SnowyMouse (where ARE you?) SilveryPussyCat CIQ (I know you were having a tough time) Lem (once a very regular visitor) Hoochymama Pyrrghena collardove Victrix Pulled Creamhearts (previously FDG) MentalPsychiatrist KeemaNaanAndCurryOn (miss you and your wit)
FaithLoveandGrace MySpideySenseTickles

Would love to hear how you're all doing. I'm much the same, up and down, mostly down this month.

I've probably forgotten lots of people, but that's all I can bring to mind just now.

OP posts:
MummySparkle · 08/07/2015 18:15

Surely you must get SSP creak? You can self-certificate for a week o think, it might give you a chance just to regroup your thoughts? Even if you just take a few days off for some you time? To catch up on sleep.

I'm having a crap day. OH and I have argued over stupid stuff and because the house is a mess. I haven't told him how much I'm struggling. I know he is going to go ape-shit when he sees the harm I did yesterday. He didn't get home until 11:30 last night, so qe didn't get to bed until late. And I got up with the kids this morning. I'm so so tired and my head is such a mess. I love my family, but I wish I could take a break from them for a few days :(

Pulledapart · 10/07/2015 15:42

How is everyone doing today? mummy and creak u two any better?

I've had a hell of a day. just got out of hospital with DF, he's ok but gave us quite a scare. I'm absolutely exhausted now though both mentally and physically. DD had a sports day today which I missed and of course she will make me feel bad about it Sad hopefully she will understand that grandad needed me more.

In the run around of things I forgot to take my morning meds and of course I'm feeling terrible now for it. I think a quick nap is in order if I can manage it when I get home.

Hope everyone is doing ok today x

Pulledapart · 14/07/2015 11:26

It's very quite in the village Sad

Creak · 15/07/2015 13:07

It is a bit, isn't it Pulled!
I'm somewhat exhausted today, couldn't get myself to sleep til the early hours last night. I've built a hidden nest in a store-room upstairs at work that nobody knows about and have just been napping up there but am worried it'll be rumbled soon. I wish I could take some time out, mummy, but I don't have a contract or anything (I basically work for a friend of a friend's business and they took me on out of kindness a couple of years ago after I'd had a breakdown and bottomed out of my last job. They pay me very well for what little I actually do and I'm too terrified to rock the boat. Although it's stinging a bit today as half the office is off with 'stomach bugs'!)
I'm seeing my psych/care co-ordinater tomorrow and have no idea what to talk to him about. I received a copy of a letter he'd sent to my GP to keep her abreast of my continuing adventures of the mind, and seeing my diagnosis and some of the things I go through written down in black and white was a bit horrible - up until now I've never really been sure if I've had a formal diagnosis, but I guess that's it, it's on my record forever and I'm now panicking about how it'll affect me in the future (i.e., children and a job/hobby that I do that could take me to the States). It's making me want to downplay and minimise everything tomorrow, which I know is going to be counter-productive. Oh well. It could be worse. It could always be worse.
Hope you're okay today, fellow Villagers. X

Pulledapart · 15/07/2015 18:52

Oh ((( creak ))) sounds like you are under some strain at the moment. Your work place best sounds like a nice n cosy idea - fingers crossed for you no one comes across it for a long time.

I always think it is far worse to see things written down as you can't escape words. I needed a letter from my psych recently and when I read it I thought to myself how am I alive I sound like a right pathetic psychopath. Of course when they sometimes write these letters and especially when they are giving an overview of the symptoms they write about the worse possible scenarios. I have to keep reminding myself I'm not that bad on a regular day (even though they are a few).

I would tell you off for minimising but truth be told I do that a lot to just pretend to be normal. It is not good in the long run though as I end up having a crisis so I will calmly warn you of the dangers of minimising. I'm really glad to read your workplace has been such good support to you.

I've just had DD's end of year report and she did by do so well as she isn't meeting expectations in literacy or numeracy Sad I've got to pay more attention to her at home as just reading a bed time story is not enough. I know she is only 5 but I feel horrible about it all I didn't even know what Red words were (words that cannot be sounded out) the teacher had to explain it to me and I felt so Blush

I really did not imagine life to be so difficult and I certainly did not expect to be like this before my breakdown. I imagined myself to be the perfect wife and daughter and mother - where did it all go wrong !?!Sad

Creak · 16/07/2015 10:48

(((( pulled )))) I wouldn't have a clue what a 'Red Word' was! As well as bedtime stories, are there word and number games you could play together?
I will accept my mild telling off for minimising if I can tell you off for feeling bad for not being perfect! Wink

I am being nice to myself today; I didn't scream at DP in the morning, I didn't cry on the Tube, I was only a tiny bit late for work and I feel sort of...alright. I'm nervous about seeing the Dr later as it's not unusual for me to come out of there feeling worse than I went in (especially if I've been having an alright day), but at least it means I can get out of work early. Every cloud and all that!

Pulledapart · 16/07/2015 16:16

creak how did it appt go? Hope all went well Flowers

I've had a productive day Hmm yep u all guessed it I spent most of it in bed feeling sorry for myself. Just did the school runs and that's all. No motivation to do anything else. Now I'm thinking of getting take out tonight. I'm really struggling to function Sad

How do people deal with their family when they are like this? I've said barely a few words to my family all week. I just don't want to talk. They are all starting to question me now and I have no answers for them. All the questions are stressing me out more Sad

Loveisashadow · 16/07/2015 18:35

(Pulled) no advice just wanted to send you some virtual support
. The school holidays have started here and I'm freaking out thinking I'll fall back on myself when I was doing well. So scared I will get ill again when it's just me and DD, living off benefits and struggling to get by/do things. I'm absolutely terrified and working myself up in to a state about it already. I don't have a cpn either as she's gone off sick and they haven't sent me a replacement.

MummySparkle · 16/07/2015 20:04

Hugs for everyone.

I'm struggling today too. I feel like I've had enough. I can't cope with the DCs. I'm exhausted. And I just can't do it any more.

I'm pulled over in a lay by at the moment. If I didn't have DS in the car I probably wouldn't go home, if just keep driving til I ran out of petrol and then sleep somewhere.

I need a break

Loveisashadow · 16/07/2015 20:09

How many dc do you have ? Have you got a partner who can help ease the pressure at all?

MummySparkle · 16/07/2015 20:23

I have 2 under 3. DP suffers with anxiety and hasn't been much help lately. I don't know how I'm going I get through tonight

Loveisashadow · 16/07/2015 20:34

2 under 3 is hard work Flowers

Pulledapart · 16/07/2015 20:49

Thanks for the hugs loveis ((( hugs ))) back to you Flowers just take it one day at a time in holidays. I hope they replace ur cpn soon. It's horrible enough when they change but to be without one is far worse.

((( mummy ))) I'm sorry things are so difficult Flowers

MummySparkle · 16/07/2015 23:47

Than you ((( pulled ))) and ((( love is ))) hugs for both. I've calmed down a bit since earlier. DS has been a little unsettled this evening as he is having a sleepover in DDs room because he smashed his bedroom window earlier. I'm currently lying on the floor between DD's cot and DS's mattress on the floor. I think he's asleep, but I don't want to chance leaving too soon again.

I find the holidays hard too love is. I like routine, and then suddenly it's not there and I don't know what to do with myself. I try and plan a few things each week. Even if it's just a GP appt at least it gets us out of the house. How old is your DD love is? There might be some free summer holiday activities about that would be good for her x

Loveisashadow · 17/07/2015 18:58

Glad things have calmed down mummysparkle.

My dd is 7. My CpN was meant to sort out a holiday scheme but went off sick before she had chance. We are going away for a few days the week after next and next week is pretty full up already.

I like the routine too, mummy sparkle. I'm a single mum so it's pretty full on in the holidays and not having much money makes it doubly difficult.

Feeling quite unwell and pressured today :(

Pulledapart · 29/07/2015 17:02

How is everyone doing? It's been so quite here Sad

School holidays are really wearing me out. Constant questions of a curious 5 yr old are taking its toll on me now. I'm running out of strategies to keep her occupied. Tiredness and fatigue are my biggest barriers at the moment. How are others coping?

MummySparkle · 31/07/2015 00:41

pulled

I'm struggling too. My aunt and uncle who live abroad for most of the year are back in the UK for summer, which is so lovely as I miss them and my cousin lots when they are away. But I just feel so busy. Every day is appointments, family things, more appointments, seeing friend who are back in the area only for a short while. I've been busy every single day this week and I'm exhausted.

I've had a great time during every high when I'm there, but when I get home I crash. DP is doing too much too. He is out cycling every few days and comes home utterly exhausted. He was asleep by 7:30 this evening, long before the kids, which leaves me to sort them out. DP had a horrible nightmare earlier which has shaken him up a bit and he's panicking that he's going to go into a coma because he's so tired.

My house is a mess. And DP is annoyed because of the mess, but I'm too tired to tidy and clean it. But I can't sleep.

Keeping up the 'happy sparkle' appearance is taking its toll on me at the moment.

MummySparkle · 31/07/2015 00:42

Sorry, I didn't mean for that to be so long Blush

How is everyone else doing?

Pulledapart · 31/07/2015 15:46

((( mummy )))

I've managed to get out to have some me time even if it is running errands for the family. I'm utterly exhausted though and am finding it difficult to even walk but I just needed to get out the house. I won't have a break over the next few weeks like this as everyone else has a very busy work schedule. So today is my last opportunity to have some time off from looking after DD. I love her to bits but sometimes even that doesn't seem enough Sad

LouiseLouise2213 · 31/07/2015 15:54

Totally understand about keeping up the happy sparkle..
Promised my DS dinner out at his favourite place tonight and I'm still in my pj's trying to talk myself into going and that I'll be fine. AD making me feel like an alien in a world of normal people.. Sad

MummySparkle · 02/08/2015 19:24

I just wrote a big reply, but the app lost it. Angry

So for now I'll send hugs to you both and wait until I have the energy to re-write it

((pulled))
((louise))

Loveisashadow · 04/08/2015 20:02

Hello all. I'm really low and in need of hand holding. Was doing really well but just recently I've startedto hear voices and feel seriously suicidal again. Really struggling with the school holidays and am feeling like a glorified cleaner, nothing more.
Really don't want to be around much longer.

Creak · 06/08/2015 10:27

((((loveis))))

You need to see someone, m'love! And pronto! Can you call somebody today? holds hand

Loveisashadow · 06/08/2015 12:46

I tried to book in to see the GP but they are all booked up until three weeks away :/

Pulledapart · 07/08/2015 15:28

((( loveis ))) did u manage to speak to ur G.P? I would be insistent on a telephone consultation at least on the meantime if they don't have any appts. Could you not maybe call them first thing and get an emergency appt? My surgery operates that way so you get an appt on the day. How have you been coping today?

Hello to everyone else. I'm hoping the fact that it has been so quite here means everyone else is doing brilliantly Envy

Being indoors with DD is keeping me well and truly busy. I feel bad that I can't take her out but then think it's better then her being unsafe. Guiltily she has been watching a lot of cartoons as I just don't have any energy to do much else. have promised her a trip to the local park tomorrow but will see how I am. Voices have been playing a few tricks but I'm keeping them controlled. Can't let em get the better of me!