SPRINGTIME in the VILLAGE (Support for all Mental Health Issues)

[NanaNina]

Thought I'd start a new thread what with it being the Spring Equinox and all that..........and there's another reason. I'm hoping to re-connect with people who used to be frequent village visitors, but like me, seem to have fallen by the wayside. Of course everyone is welcome in the Village, so I hope more recent visitors understand my post and will not feel de-valued in any way. The stigma of mental illness is alive and well I reckon so we all need all the support we can get.

SO - CALLING

Vicar (she started the Village thread some years ago and occasionally pops in) Edwinia'sRevenge SnowyMouse (where ARE you?) SilveryPussyCat CIQ (I know you were having a tough time) Lem (once a very regular visitor) Hoochymama Pyrrghena collardove Victrix Pulled Creamhearts (previously FDG) MentalPsychiatrist KeemaNaanAndCurryOn (miss you and your wit)
FaithLoveandGrace MySpideySenseTickles

Would love to hear how you're all doing. I'm much the same, up and down, mostly down this month.

I've probably forgotten lots of people, but that's all I can bring to mind just now.

I'm checking in, I'm sure I posted here before but it would have been a long time ago. Don't know if my story will help but here goes. 4 months ago I was in a really bad way, my depression was awful, I was under the Crisis Team and on the point of being hospitalised. I realised that it was my marriage causing most of my MH problems and I asked my husband to leave. Well I've scarcely looked back. Now I'm a single parent to my boys, we're in a new flat and things are so much better. A week after my ex left I'd been discharged by the Crisis Team, that's how quick the turnaround was.

I'm not saying anyone should leave their partner, but I wanted to offer some hope that no matter how bleak things look, they can get better.

Hope nobody is offended by my simplistic post-I was lucky in that I had the power to make the changes I needed, not everyone has that luxury. But good luck to everybody.

Thanks. It is helpful. I think my job is a good chunk of my issue.

PulledApart
The frustrating thing is they said I'd need a CPN if going through therapy because it would be so disturbing/upsetting. And then decided, suddenly I wasn't suitable for therapy at all! But in the same appointment told me I had a therapist so didn't need input from them. (Ooh and they made some lovely comments implying my therapist must be money-grabbing - I pointed out the NHS therapists get paid too! More actually, I think.)

It's this sort of ridiculous, arse-covering 'logic' that makes it such a strain to deal with them, so I ususally don't bother. If you point out their inconsitencies they just smile patronisingly and make out you're being difficult, and point blank refuse to explain/engage with you on the subject. And then wonder why you're wound up. Obviously this feeds back into the depression, feeling frustrated, trapped and worthless.

No meds, not found them helpful. They all make me massively lethargic/sedated, especially anxiety ones. This is very much "in my head" though, I feel all over the place because I literally can't work out what reality looks like/how to view things. As soon as I settle comfortably on a view (eg. "I'm not bad, I'm traumatised, the bad feelings are coming from that, I didn't deserve the stuff in the flashbacks") then something comes along and changes it (eg. MH services completely not viewing it like that, treating me as 'bad'/misbehaving for struggling). So then it's like, oh actually I am supposed to feel horribly guilty and hide away if I can't do what others want! I literally do not know how to think or feel or act or relate to anyone, or myself, from one moment to the next. It's really upsetting how the people who get frustrated/think badly of me for not being 'better' yet, are the same people who prolong it by thinking they can guilt or 'behaviouralise' me out of it. If people around me were nice and supportive, then I'd be miles better, because I'd only be dealing with the past, not the present re-inforcing it. And it gets confusing if someone will only engage with you if you accept their version of 'reality'... especially if the majority are on their side (even though their are chinks in their 'reality' where it doesnt add up, which you're not allowed to point out or question)... does that mean they're right, or should I cut them out? Style of thing.

Hmm.

How is everyone today?

I managed school run this morning and lidls shop with mum so not too bad so far. Had to distract myself though. About to do school run but hoping it will be ok.

That's good mythical
Hugs element

I'm feeling really low with constant job searching and little else but job searching and housework in my life. Never have any money to do anything and in too much pain to go to the gym etc. Really low about how I'm spending days when my dd is at school, feel like i'm just wasting away :(

Have applied for lots of jobs and not heard back. Feeling really low.

Sorry to hear that, Loveis
It sounds like you're doing well to apply for so many jobs - I know it must be disheartening in this climate.

Is there anything free you might enjoy doing, as a very deserved 'treat' for yourself while DD is at school? Lying in the sun with a good book? Baking something? Making a special dartboard with pictures of politicians who don't have a clue? maybe thats just me

I like the last use element How are you doing?

Hi everyone, hope it's ok for me to wander in

I've just been diagnosed with depression by my GP after a long time of feeling permanently angry and struggling with low self esteem and paranoia. I finally realised I needed help when I started crying after I hung out some washing on the line and took it all down because I was worried the neighbours would think I was a rubbish mother/wife if my washing wasn't hung out right.

I constantly imagine people having conversations behind my back about me, that nothing I do is of any value or as good as other people.

I'm on a waiting list for CBT and am on day 3 of 50mg of Sertraline and feeling very strange. Kind of spaced out and I feel like I'm on MDMA with my jaw clenching constantly. I've told my boss who was very supportive and sent through a request for me to have counselling through work. That has made me feel positive, the fact she didn't judge and thinks I am worth helping.

Hope everyone is having a good day.

Hello Beetle. I had little electric shocks in my head on setraline and felt quite spaced out. I switched mine after a while on it to another but I suggest a chat with your gp if it continues.

Just found out I've got an interview for some voluntary work I'd really like to do.
Made some brownies and ate them all even though I'm fat from my meds

Feeling a bit wobbly today, but up and down.

Sorry to barge in like this. I feel awful. My meds have been increased and ive not reacted well to it. I feel really suicidal and like I just can't do this anymore. I feel like I'm pushing DP away. We had an almighty row earlier where he said he wants me to move out :( I don't even know what I want any more. I just feel like I'm so tired of this and I just don't want to do it any more but at the same time part of me feels like it's just a part of increasing the meds.

(((Faith))) so sorry to hear you're feeling worse. You're right to - it is the increase in meds. How long since the increase? One day at a time, one hour at a time. ..

Hi beetle welcome. I've heard lots of food things about sertraline. Hope the head zaps calm down soon.

Love is well done on the interview for voluntary work and your Brownies sound fab

Exhaustion kicked in massively this eve. Off to bed. ..

Take care everyone

It's only been 6 days since I increased, so still very much in the midst of rubbish side effects. I just feel like I always end up back here, I've had enough of ending up back here :(

Hope you get some sleep colouring

Sore throats are not leaving me another set of antibiotics. I feel really shit today both mentally and physically

Hi everyone. pulled sorry to hear you are feeling bad.

I've just left work as I think I'm having some kind of anxiety attack. I know it's a side effect of the AD's but I feel awful. Sweaty palms, shaking uncontrollably and I feel so disconnected from everyone and everything around me like I'm in a bubble. I'm waiting for a bus and I feel terrified that everyone is looking at me thinking I'm mad.

Sorry to hear things aren't going well for a lot of people in the village.

How are you feeling now beetle?

I'm feeling much better now thanks. Came home and just lay on the bed feeling weird, then was woken up by DH and DD getting home so must have conked out. No longer anxious, just feel exhausted now!

Hope everyone is feeling ok this evening x

Pulledapart 23/6/2015 if you accept their version of reality.... dont feel so bad about this. Remember there's 8 billion + versions of reality on this planet. Keep that in mind. When someone tells me I've got to accept reality I say "really! Who's? "

Just popping in to say hi. I'm reading but struggling so much myself right now any replies I'm deleting, im still around though.

Hope that makes sense. Having massive problems sleeping.

I disappeared for ages but I've now been switched from fluoxetine to venlafaxine. Am a bit scared as I've been reading what an awful drug it is to withdraw from but I'm willing to give it a go.

Hi Becca and Pandora . Not sure what to say as I'm having a bad day myself, head all over the place, but didn't want you to go unanswered. X

Okay I'm very confused. I've been reading online how fluoxetine has a long half life so it should be stopped for at least a week before starting anything else. My GP told me yesterday it was fine to stop it straight away and go straight on to venlafaxine.

When I was switching from mirtazapine to fluoxetine I was taking them at the same time so I could withdraw from mirtazapine slowly. My GP told me to do that. I saw a different GP one day as my normal one was on holiday and he pretty much told me off and said I shouldn't be taking them at the same time! So who is right? I haven't got a clue. Starting to wonder now if my GP is talking out of his arse but he's got a very good reputation.

Heart racing head spinning and can't sleep

Hello! I have raging depression. Had to go out this evening and look and behave normally and have cbt tomorrow. I am worrying about that as I have been pretending to be more normal than I am and had a blip with bad depression and the doctor informed my cbt guy how I really am. Now I have to see him tomorrow. I can't sleep in my bedroom at night which is ironic as I can sleep there all day. I am not sure how I can be so awake when the effort of behaving like a normal person is so tiring.

spanky hope you managed to get some sleep and cut appt went ok.

I'm far worse today and have been shaking like a leaf all day. There is talk of me going back into hospital and I'm not sure how to handle that. It hey have given me tonight to think about it