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Original poster

SPRINGTIME in the VILLAGE (Support for all Mental Health Issues)

720 replies

NanaNina · 22/03/2015 02:18

Thought I'd start a new thread what with it being the Spring Equinox and all that..........and there's another reason. I'm hoping to re-connect with people who used to be frequent village visitors, but like me, seem to have fallen by the wayside. Of course everyone is welcome in the Village, so I hope more recent visitors understand my post and will not feel de-valued in any way. The stigma of mental illness is alive and well I reckon so we all need all the support we can get.

SO - CALLING

Vicar (she started the Village thread some years ago and occasionally pops in) Edwinia'sRevenge SnowyMouse (where ARE you?) SilveryPussyCat CIQ (I know you were having a tough time) Lem (once a very regular visitor) Hoochymama Pyrrghena collardove Victrix Pulled Creamhearts (previously FDG) MentalPsychiatrist KeemaNaanAndCurryOn (miss you and your wit)
FaithLoveandGrace MySpideySenseTickles

Would love to hear how you're all doing. I'm much the same, up and down, mostly down this month.

I've probably forgotten lots of people, but that's all I can bring to mind just now.

OP posts:
Pulledapart · 27/05/2015 17:53

Anyone around? I feel so awful and on verge of tears. I think DH has had enough and is talking of walking away Sad

GooodMythicalMorning · 27/05/2015 17:59

Im here. Oh no. Sad

Pulledapart · 27/05/2015 18:12

It's the first time he has ever said something like this and I don't know how to react or what to do. My shutters have just come down and I've become withdrawn. I took in the jist of what he was saying. In a round about way he doesn't feel like I prioritise him. I can barely function at the min so no I don't suppose I've given it much thought but in my defence I'm trying. I can see his point but to say "I'll go find someone else who gives a shit" is just being horrid (I can't think of a better word to use). I know he's been through the mill with me and my health... I dunno I'm blabbering now Sorry. I feel heart broken and I gotta keep smiling so not to upset DD.

GooodMythicalMorning · 27/05/2015 18:13

I dont know what to say Pulled. Im sorry that this is happening to you. ((hug))

Did anything in particular set this off?

Pulledapart · 27/05/2015 18:30

I don't know although he said he's felt like this for months Sad says it all really don't it. It's got me thinking if he has someone else already? I dunno my mind is just racing away with awful thoughts.

colouringinagain · 27/05/2015 19:21

(((Pulled))) x

Loveisashadow · 27/05/2015 19:42

((Pulled))

Pulledapart · 27/05/2015 21:13

Thanks for the hugs mythical, ciq, loveis.

I've just sent a v.long text to DH explaining how I feel. I now am shaking and feeling sick to my stomach of what his reply will be!

Pandora37 · 28/05/2015 08:44

I'm sorry Pulled, I hope your husband hears you out. Broken hearts are so painful, I've never felt so sick or anxious in my life as when a relationship is breaking up. Fingers crossed he was just having a bad day and feeling frustrated.

colouringinagain · 28/05/2015 22:43

So yesterday ds birthday. Family day. Ended up in tears all the way home and slept at a friends last night.

Spoke to dh this evening. told him I am at the end of my tether, ill again, he needs to do some stuff at home etc. He sits impassive, barely any reaction. It is soul-destroying. He said he comes out of his therapy sessions feeling sorry for me as his therapist sounds like he's similarly minded re jims emotional incapacity. And he wonders why I don't like spending time with him. I'm not sure this will really change, but it does help me to understand me why I'm happier without him around.

Pulledapart · 29/05/2015 09:27

((( ciq ))) so sorry to hear things have gotten to this level.

Thanks for the kind words pandora Me & DH have hardly spoken since the other night and he has been staying with a friend. I'm not sure like you ciq I'm not sure if anything will change Sad I said things I can't take back and now that my real feelings about him are out in the open its made me less attractive to be around IYSWIM. I don't know maybe some space is a good idea. DH did apologise for the outburst and put it down to an off day. Says he still loves me and I believe him but I just don't know where we go from here.

Sorry for self absorbed posts hope everyone is doing well x

GooodMythicalMorning · 29/05/2015 10:59

Sorry to hear things are bad pulled and ciq.

Was ill yesterday but feeling a little better. Just feel down today.

Pulledapart · 29/05/2015 12:00

Weather is so rubbish making me feel more down Sad

Glad ur feeling a bit better mythical Flowers

GooodMythicalMorning · 29/05/2015 12:03

Yes the weather definitely not helping. Its dark gloomy and rainy here. Just sat watching Into the Woods with the dc. Have no energy to do anything

Pulledapart · 29/05/2015 12:09

Yes that is a good plan for today. I'm going to be doing the same with DD. well she will be watching her cartoons in bed with me. I don't want to get out of bed so duvet day it will be for us.

GooodMythicalMorning · 29/05/2015 12:42

Yeah. Good idea. Then a roast for tea so I dont have to do much. (cheats version. Hardest bit will be mixing the stuffing mix with water.)

Pulledapart · 29/05/2015 13:05

We still have some left overs from yesterday so that'll be dinner (proper cheating here) and of course lots of Brew today and maybe a few Biscuit 's as treat Grin Just for today I'm not going to think about anything I need a break from it all.

Pulledapart · 29/05/2015 13:06

Although now I've got roast in my head Grin

GooodMythicalMorning · 29/05/2015 13:34

Im trying to not think of anything but something that happened 14 years ago (I was 15) keeps coming to mind and I dont know whether to tell someone who is close to me or not (and cause a bigger family rift than there already is between concerning parties) but its hard to supress any longer. Its not the reason for my anxiety or anything, sorry this isnt the right place for this is it.

Pulledapart · 29/05/2015 14:37

((( mythical ))) you can talk about anything here I'm sure as I know I do and everyone has been so supportive regardless of the issue. If it's troubling you which I think it is then talking about It may help. To us I mean if you don't wanna say anything in RL to anyone.

GooodMythicalMorning · 29/05/2015 14:52

Thanks. Pulled, basically a older male family member did something very very inappropriate and I was ashamed and thought it was my fault and never told anyone not even my sisters. I never went back but a couple of years ago dm got back in contact and I pushed it to the back of my mind. Contact has been sporadic but when she does see this person they come down to her house and it worries me as I have dd now to think of. (dm will have the dc's overnight when I work.) I also feel guilty as though I never went back to their house both my dsis did, I assumed he just did something to me but I overheard my sis calling him a peado so that doesnt sound good but she's a very private person and hasnt disclosed anything else. Sorry its long and complicated! Anyway the gist is dm isnt happy with this person for other reasons but will still be devastated if I said anything and my stepdad would go nuts.

Pulledapart · 29/05/2015 15:49

I completely understand as I went through the same. The only saving grace for me is I will come in contact with this person as they are in an another country. I've not said anything to my family for the same reason as I feel ashamed and dont want to upset my family. It haunts me all the time now in terms of flashbacks but I guess that is what therapy is for to get me over it. Funny thing is I blocked it from my mind for such a long time until I had my breakdown. Now I simply can't get over it. It is ruining my relationship with DH and sometimes I feel like just saying something to him. Then I stop as I think of the devastation it would cause. I can't imagine how hard it must be to know this person is still around my family. You definitely have my respect for being able to deal with a situation like this. It can't be easy. I'm sorry to hear about ur dsis going through it. I'm sure my siblings went through it too but they were too young to remember anything so of course no one has ever mentioned it. Another reason I don't wanna say anything as I don't then suddenly remembering it as well. I guess I don't want to be reason for inflicting any pain in them. It's just so hard to forget and fighting it in my own is not helping but then if I say something then I don't think I can deal with the fall out from it. Your not alone though as I understand and many others will too Flowers

GooodMythicalMorning · 29/05/2015 16:00

Thank you. You're so kind. part of me really wants to say and get it all out on the open and part of me wants to hide it away for mum's sake.

Loveisashadow · 29/05/2015 18:15

(mythical) and (pulled).

Sorry I can't say anything much supportive. I'm very low and feeling suicidial all of a sudden. Just don't want to be here anymore, fed up of feeling like a bad Mum and being unemployed. Really don't want to face another day.

Pulledapart · 29/05/2015 19:49

((( loveis ))) your far from a bad mum you know that right? We can only do our best & that's what you have been doing so give yourself a break. Just take it a day at a time. You will find work again but you have to stay strong for now. I know easier said then done Flowers