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Original poster

SPRINGTIME in the VILLAGE (Support for all Mental Health Issues)

720 replies

NanaNina · 22/03/2015 02:18

Thought I'd start a new thread what with it being the Spring Equinox and all that..........and there's another reason. I'm hoping to re-connect with people who used to be frequent village visitors, but like me, seem to have fallen by the wayside. Of course everyone is welcome in the Village, so I hope more recent visitors understand my post and will not feel de-valued in any way. The stigma of mental illness is alive and well I reckon so we all need all the support we can get.

SO - CALLING

Vicar (she started the Village thread some years ago and occasionally pops in) Edwinia'sRevenge SnowyMouse (where ARE you?) SilveryPussyCat CIQ (I know you were having a tough time) Lem (once a very regular visitor) Hoochymama Pyrrghena collardove Victrix Pulled Creamhearts (previously FDG) MentalPsychiatrist KeemaNaanAndCurryOn (miss you and your wit)
FaithLoveandGrace MySpideySenseTickles

Would love to hear how you're all doing. I'm much the same, up and down, mostly down this month.

I've probably forgotten lots of people, but that's all I can bring to mind just now.

OP posts:
Loveisashadow · 29/05/2015 19:57

My DD has a rash/infection. My friend who looks after her sometimes took her to the Dr. She was given cream. I got confused as to when she needed it, thought she said 2-3 times a day. I hadn't been doing it that much as I'd been out/busy keeping going. My friend had dd again and told me it needed doing 4 times a day. I didn't even realise and now my friend is pissed off with me for not doing it. She was the only friend who understood me really too. So now I've lost a good friend and I'm a shit mum for not putting dd's cream on. I can't take anymore of this, I really can't do it anymore. All of the keeping going and the trying and the empty, empty days after half term finishes. It sounds dramatic, but I don't want to do it anymore.

GooodMythicalMorning · 29/05/2015 19:59

love I agree with pulled, take it slow. Have you got anyone you can have with you for support? I know I cant do much to help but I am thinking of you. Xx

GooodMythicalMorning · 29/05/2015 20:06

The cream is easy mistake to make love. I've done it myself. It still would clear it just not as quick.

Loveisashadow · 29/05/2015 20:10

No one in rl. I think everyone's a bit fed up with me to be honest. Dd has gone to bed so i'm having a bath then seeing how I feel after that. It's usually very lonely once dd is in bed as I'm a single mum. Have been for years but it's as though I've only just noticed that I am! I'm supposed to be getting better, not worse. Suicidal thoughts are so hard to deal with. I'm wondering if I'm responding a bit to psychology as I had a session on Thursday and it was only an assesment, but difficult to talk about recent times.

GooodMythicalMorning · 29/05/2015 20:24

I never actually noticed I was depressed for years. Just thought that was how everyone felt. Do you have another session soon?

colouringinagain · 29/05/2015 20:41

Hugs to love is, pulled, mythical haven't experienced anything like what pulled and mythical have, so can only send big sympathies x. Love is I completely hear what you're saying. It is so hard to keep going. You are not alone in that.

Pulledapart · 29/05/2015 20:46

loveis therapy can definitely make us feel worse then before I've been told that's normal. As for the cream that is easily done. If it makes you feel better I've forgotten to give DD antibiotics before, just completely slipped my mind. That is far worse time then u forgetting to put the cream on 4 times. Being a lone parent is tough but you have come so far that is quite something in itself. Do you have a crisis plan? Can you maybe call your mental health team and just speak to someone.

Loveisashadow · 30/05/2015 17:58

Thanks (pulled). I still feel suicidal today though not as strongly as last night. Neithier dd or I have had a bath today but other stuff has been done.

GooodMythicalMorning · 31/05/2015 11:13

How are you feeling now love?

Ive tried to go shopping today. I stood outside two shops whilst the rest of them went in but now sat in the car whilst they do the rest. Dh was worried about me so I said " dont worry, I just need to get used to these tablets" and he said "you need to throw them away." I said "why?" and he replied "you cant be in tablets forever." And I said "I might have to if I cant get rid of this anxiety" and he said grumpily "you will." I didnt know what to make of that so just walked the rest in silence.

Loveisashadow · 31/05/2015 18:42

Sorry you struggled to go shopping, mythical.

Feeling very sucidial tonight , lots of intrusive thoughts.

GooodMythicalMorning · 31/05/2015 20:03

I hope the evening gets better for you love. Xx

FaithLoveandHope · 31/05/2015 20:32

Hi all, I haven't been around for a while. Things have been busy and I have rather been neglecting my mental health. Have a quick 5 mins before DP gets home from his 12 hr shift. Loveis I've only read the last page so I don't know all that's happening but you're definitely not a rubbish mum! The cream is such an easy mistake to make. When struggling with mental health it's really easy to be hard on ourselves and see the negative but please try to be kind to yourself. (((( Loveis ))))

Also Mythical that's a really harsh thing for your DP to say. I'm sorry shopping was really hard for you, I've had days like that though thankfully not for a long time. Who cares if you need meds to remain calm? I've been on and off them for the last 6 years and I can honestly say I'm much better on them. Not sure why your DP needs to be grumpy about it. Though actually I need to go back to my GP as I'm not convinced they're helping that much and the insomnia seems to be back.

FaithLoveandHope · 31/05/2015 20:39

Sorry all am on my phone and couldn't go back to previous page without losing what I'd already written.

Mythical Im so sorry to hear what happened years ago. Similar happened to me but with my partner at the time and then friend a few months after rather than a family friend iyswim. I'm struggling with it all atm but I just wanted to say it's most certainly not your fault, at all! Please remember that when the going gets tough. You didn't ask for it and you didn't deserve it. I can understand you wanting to say but at the same time not wanting to. Hugs to both you and pulled It's awful and upsetting just how many people have been there. I hate how it's us that's left to deal with the shame and the flashbacks and the person who did it probably doesn't have a care in the world.

Sorry, I wanted to say more but geting upset thinking about things. Had a counselling session today which I just wanted to shut down in and hide away from things. Take care all. Xx

Loveisashadow · 31/05/2015 20:43

I made a half-hearted attempt on my life :( Phoned a friend and spoke to her dh, who is also a psych. Said take my meds and call her back in an hour if I'm still feeling not OK.

Frustrated that it didn't work and tempted to do it again. Supposed to be running some workshops tommorow, worried that won't happen if I can't get things under control.

colouringinagain · 31/05/2015 21:59

(((Loveis))) how are you now? Really hope you're ok. Please seek help.

FaithLoveandHope · 31/05/2015 22:24

((( Loveis ))) as ciq has said I really hope you're okay. Please do try and seek support irl and let us know how you are if you feel able. Xx

Pulledapart · 01/06/2015 12:06

((( loveis ))) hope your ok x

Thanks for the hugs faith

I'm doing ok kinda sorted things with DH. We're just gonna take it a day at a time for now. I think the space did us some good.

Hope everyone is doing ok. Sorry not much support at the moment mind is a bit frazzled.

colouringinagain · 01/06/2015 13:42

Hi all. Doing a little better today which is v nice. Loveis really hope you're safe. Thinking of you.

Hi pulled glad things are a bit easier with your dh. Really hope it stays that way.

faith, mythical hope your Mondays going ok.

GooodMythicalMorning · 01/06/2015 15:55

Thanks ciq im a little better today. Did both school runs (with other people with me.)

Loveisashadow · 01/06/2015 17:48

Hi all

Sorry to dissapear on you. Basically had another suicide attempt last night ended up staying with friend last night. CpN came today and said she will make some refferals to places that can help like debt advice and social services as I'm struggling to cook and do the school run with dd. She's also going to refer me to a place that helps with learning and work as one of the big things I'm struggling with is being alone in the house when dd is at school with nothing to do, or just wandering around parks and shopping centres, trying to avoid being alone all day. My CpN thinks my depression is creeping back in as I'm still struggling to do things.

That's really good mythical, well done.

GooodMythicalMorning · 02/06/2015 13:51

Love How are you doing today?

Loveisashadow · 02/06/2015 20:25

Hi Mythical sorry I didn't reply until now. I'm doing Ok, some suicidal thoughts this morning but mood seems to have picked up towards evening. Took dd to dance class and did a load of housework after.

Feel as though I'm living day: day at the minute, so who knows what tommorow will bring for me?

GooodMythicalMorning · 02/06/2015 21:10

Well done love. That's really good.

Living day to day is all we can do right now. But you have done fab today.

colouringinagain · 02/06/2015 21:46

Well done loveis one day at a time. Take care.

mythical hope your day's been ok.

pulled how are you doing today?

Ok day here Smile

GooodMythicalMorning · 02/06/2015 21:50

Yeah not too bad a day. Went to a posh salon and had my hair cut short. Was slightly nervous but no panic attacks so it was a win.