would you rather be Mentally Normal or fat?

[Mitchy1nge]

oi

Would you like a dark choc digestive to dip in it?

A bit of podge would be different, Mitchy - but my weight severely restricts my life - I get sore knees, ankles and back if I walk any distance, can't exercise much, and struggle with a lot of day-to-day activities - like getting out of a chair, finding clothes that fit. I have about 10 stone of extra podge, so I am basically carrying round an extra person all the time.

And I hate myself for my weight, so being a more normal size would help my depression, but if I was still this size, it would make me depressed all over again.

that does sound like more than a bit of podge :( have watched loads of those extreme weight loss shows (a slightly furtive habit) and the people who do well have very supportive friends and families (as well as intensive personal training and nutritional guidance), obviously they still have to Do The Work but it struck me that it's rather a lot to expect someone to do by themselves

do you have anyone to encourage you to make changes?

or more formally, some kind of motivational enhancement style groups/one to one through the mental health people?

I'm sorry, SDT :(
My friend is on a mission to lose 10 stone (she's lost about 8 stone so far) and I'm completely in awe of her

Well - dsis has bought me a FitBit activity tracker, and over the next 3 months I will be having to take ddog2 on controlled walks - she has had knee surgery, and from Thursday will need 2x10 minute walks per day, increasing by 5 minutes per walk each week, until 6 weeks post op, when we will be scheduling her second knee surgery, and 2 weeks after that, we go back to 2x10 minute walks per day. This, plus the FitBit, is going to help me get gradually more active.

And I had cognitive behavioural therapy last year, that has encouraged me to like myself more, and to try to make better decisions about food.

Other than that, though, I am struggling with my weight and my diet - especially as being stuck in the house with ddog2, who is on cage rest, is a bit depressing. It is so boring for her in the cage that I don't feel I can go out and leave her for more than 1.5 hours. And being a bit more depressed makes me more likely to make bad decisions about food - ie. 'You deserve a treat - and you deserve for that treat to be a whole bag of Maoam sweets!!'

oh poor dog, was it cruciate ligament? what kind of dog is she? my friend's westie has had lots of knee problems, they seem really prone to it

the 'overcoming' books can be good, you sound quite motivated but maybe a bit of help to reinforce it

you don't have to go out though, my house is like a gym, I got one of those rebounder/trampette things when they told me not to do high impact stuff like running and used to do star jumps on that for hours now and then, with dumbbells

the spin bike is good too, there are lots of workouts on youtube or you could subscribe to sufferfest (is about £6 a month) - was about to rehome it but looks like I'll be needing it more if I can't as much

yoga is not amazingly helpful for weightloss but there is evidence that, in some strange indirect way, people eat more mindfully when they do yoga regularly - the weight loss from yoga alone isn't dramatic but there does seem to be a real link - again lots of stuff on youtube, a nicer treat than sweets?

Yes - she has completely ruptured one cruciate ligament, and partially ruptured the other - and she was a very active dog, so life has been pretty miserable for her even before the surgery - the vet advised no walks at all because her knee was clicking audibly, so she has had months of just wandering round at home.

She's a lab-pointer cross, and I gather that labs are quite prone to rupturing their cruciates - and now I am looking at ddog1, who is a brown lab, and hoping she doesn't do hers! Thankfully we do have pet insurance - and this year's renewal went through just before the really big bill from the vet hospital hit the system, too!!

I think exercise at home is probably the way to go for me - and I do have some self-help books (one of the Paul McKenna ones on emotional eating, and one called The Compassionate Mind Approach to Overeating - that one will be useful, I think - when I finally get round to reading it, and not just hoping the knowledge will make its way into my brain by osmosis, from the bookcase - because one of the major components of depression for me is that I am really unkind to myself, very critical and very good indeed at putting myself down - and I did a lot of work last year on learning to be kinder to myself.

ouch, poor thing :( gundogs are not meant for a life of idleness (although spaniel has been snoring by the log fire since about he got up at 8am )

that sounds like a brilliant but tricky concept, being nice to self, am starting to get my head round it a bit too, to think when I'm making a choice, any choice however small - often around food - if I was someone I cared about would I be ok with it

is hard though

It is wierd, isn't it? Why is it so much harder to be nice to ourselves than to be nice to other people?

Ddog2 seems to have adapted to her life of idleness reasonably well - she hated the cage at first, especially at night - the first three nights she howled, barked and whined unless dh went downstairs to be with her - but she has settled down really well - she is snoring in there now!

I think we will probably keep her on cage rest whilst she is waiting for the second surgery - I think it would be kinder than letting her out for a couple of weeks and then - Bam - back in the cage again after the second op! Better to keep her in a routine, I think.

It probably wouldn't be as bad if it were ddog1 - even though she is a gundog breed, she is a pretty lazy one! I think she would just go in the cage and fall asleep for 6 weeks!

I dunno

but my self-loathing has been known to enlarge itself into a kind of misanthropy towards all humankind at times

I heard a good saying recently

"Don't compare your insides with other people's outsides"

I think that's why we find it hard to be kind to ourselves, because we are trying to live up to a false and unrealistic ideal based on our own perception of others' appearances.

Sorry things are so tough SDTG. Hope you can come up with a cunning plan to help with the weight. Don't forget, a nice walk can work wonders for mental abnormality, according to all HCPs....

Where is enpo? When is it time to send out a search party do you think?

yeah has been ages hasn't it?

in fact has anyone seen or heard anything since the super bowl? I think she leads a double life as enpo here and malcolm butler somewhere nr boston, ergo has been busy celebrating

Of course that's it. Does that mean she is half woman/half man? So we shall see her in about a weeks time?

Im tidying my room. There is no carpet visible.

I have lots of friends there from the time with the slebs in NH so I'll ask them to look out for her.

I was about to textez-vous you

was worried you had died of not making the coffee you promised (is too late for caffeine now anyway) but then I got absorbed by my yellowfin tuna steak (205 cals) and some vegetables (83) which will be ready to eat soon

many people are absent today, our chat must not be very enticing, but many new people have joined in

snowy is on my mind a bit

hope they are both ok.
I'm having my arse kicked again by DT (by text). Joy

We are dullsville but that happens sometimes. Perhaps they are all out having lives?

Would you like a non caffeine tea? The kettle is on and I am next to it. Peppermint Apple purple or decaf normal tea.

Hugs, Chapuys :(

Consultant and therapist will have seen it all before and so it will feel worse for you than it does for them.
That's what I tell myself anyway.

what is purple? is it like these purple and orange pants am tempted to get for self but in the form of tea?

how are you feeling now chap?

Yes. But it's more like black currant and vanilla tea. But similar.