would you rather be Mentally Normal or fat?

[Mitchy1nge]

oi

I need some yoghurt, thanks for reminder.

Please let tomorrow's trial run be ok, am scared to try. Maybe I could help myself by not purging any more meals between now and Sunday.

Good luck mitchy, do try not to purge

Am a teeny bit worried about my mental health at the moment but trying not to let on to people in my life that I'm worried. But keep getting The Face off people

I feel okay as long as I have a few drinks/joints, otherwise everything gets a bit chaotic and confusing.

Not chaotic and challenging tho, that can fuck off, I'm lovely and compliant

do you see psych again soon or care coordinator or someone? can you approach them with your concerns?

Yes in about four weeks.

I would try to see someone sooner than that Enpo. Can you maybe contact your care coordinator?

Good luck Mitchy. I hope you can see someone sooner enpo, sounds like you need to.

I would call them but don't want to be PITA by bothering them with something I can handle, and end up with a rep for running to the CMHT at the drop of a hat (and probably for diagnosis-fishing). Like I said I'm a little bit worried but not too much - people just don't get me at the moment so I'm worried they'd get the wrong end of the stick and think I want drugs to slow me down which I definitely don't - I need an increase of my antidepressants to help me sleep and prevent depression. It's just the fucking music. Will try GP.

Saw care coordinator last Friday and she didn't seem concerned so all is okay there and am keeping on top of it all I think. Sorry to dump all this on you guys, am thinking out loud on here.

Would be literally the only person in the history of the universe to request the urgent assistance of an NHS consultant psychiatrist for primary presenting problem of intrusive fucking head music. It's not exactly an NHS priority.

god 4 weeks is ages to have these concerns and to keep them to yourself

obviously they won't mind you calling and telling them what's worrying you, and if your dose needs to go up why wait another month?

Seeing your gp sounds like a plan.

but you're also worried about your depression getting worse and your sleep - this seems a legit reason to bring appointment forward a bit

I suppose so. I was just feeling really fucking fine apart from the headmusic until today and was handling that with loud real music and even though I had to dereg from here because of things I can't say it wasn't confusing really but now its not loud enough even on the top volume and instead of feeling buzzing and happy am buzzing and pissed the fuck off because it's just a bit fucking odd, that's why, and I can't run because of my knee suddenly being fucked so have to go to the gym, but never mind

Yes I suppose so. Am not depressed though.

Ah fuckit. They'll only misinterpret what I'm saying anyway.

What's everyone's plans for this evening? I am going to read 1Q84 and play GTA V I think, maybe watch some BSG or put some music on and dance for a bit.

Oh, and in answer to your question, I would do almost anything to be mentally normal, except taking meds that make me fat.

Am scared of becoming ill again. But not scared enough to take olanzapine

you need to give them a chance, it's been ok working with them so far hasn't it?

I just had a big cry, some of my friends had planned to surprise me on Sunday at the finish line but decided to risk ruining the surprise by telling me now because of my misery and usual pre-race apprehension - and someone else offered to accompany me for a few test miles tomorrow to see how calf is

people are NICE

my plan for evening is to go to sleep dwelling on that instead of all the usual stuff

Yep Snowy - have to go to GP about knee xray/physio and to get another antidepressant prescription anyway so will ask for increase there rather than involving the MH lot.

That's lovely Mitch

a FB friend has just posted a pic of herself with a premiere league footballer on one side and another on the other

which is nice

except have bought cocaine from both of those players' dads in days gone by

Has been mostly okay working with them - largely collaborative and non-coercive and responsive to my preferences and needs etc., except for the parts where they ignored my saying I was becoming depressed, ignored my requests for antidepressants that work, gave me anxiolytics that made things worse, ignored me when I rang them saying I was struggling with suicidal intentions, threatened me with sectioning so I would accept voluntary admission etc. . And also except for the parts where they said diagnosis doesn't determine what help you can get and that they treat the symptoms, not the diagnosis, which it turns out isn't true. And the parts where they said they wouldn't label me with pejorative shit but then did so. Or the parts where they repeatedly said they were referring me to psychological services then waited several months to do so.

I know this sounds sarky but this actually genuinely is one of the better experiences I've had with MH services. Argh. Am ambivalent. I know they can help me but how?

Heh

Wouldn't have the first clue where to get cocaine

you obviously move in more rarefied circles

Where did all the newbies go?

Did I scare you off?

Please come back

god hardly, one of them is a properly scary, scummy bastard (the dad, don't know the players) I used to hate doing The Coke Run, am happy that is largely in the past

just tell them what's on your mind, your worries about your mood - they might not meet your needs but it seems unfair to you and them not to give them an opportunity, if you know this is not an effective dose I don't understand why you would wait 4 weeks before telling them? It's almost as if you're putting them in a double bind. Nothing bad will happen from phoning your care coordinator tomorrow and telling her you are experiencing what you know to be a kind of precursor to a low mood and asking for a meds review or whatever.