Full Mental Normality

[Enpoid]

Kubricking it.

Yep. Good plan. Can you do that thing where you do it because it's what you would want someone else to do?

You should come up here and then you can see Paul the phlebotomist who I love a bit too much

I'll do that thing where I do it because the appointment is for 9:15 friday and fits far too conveniently with seeing Those Other People shortly after and it will be so much easier for me if I have done this very small and achievable thing to help myself

normally am running at that time but am prioritising the marathon training run tomorrow over all other miles, my left calf is in a bad state :( hopefully the magical powers of my new compression sleeves will help it, along with staying off my feet as much as possible between runs?

I hope that you feel better soon mitchy, and you get to the test.

on plus side:

there is an awesome storm happening outside
and I am by the fire with spaniel and a couple of cats and all the cigarettes I can smoke
am really lucky that can have lithium, and pretty much lithium alone most of the time, and feel normal and function something slightly more like a normal and not have any side effects or know I am even taking anything
am also lucky that can have an awful lot of other influence over my own moods and states of mind through various actions I can take
as opposed to say, something that doesn't really respond to any known interventions or self help or whatever

thanks snowy, how are you getting through the day so far?

With difficulty Trying to distract.

do you feel up to a 20 minute vid, an Auschwitz survivor (Eva Kor) speaking on survival and forgiveness? "What happened in Auschwitz did not prevent me from being the person I wanted to be."

www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10153863019852316&set=vb.73528002315&type=3&video_source=pages_video_set

don't find forgiveness a particularly helpful concept usually but she is quite incredible

I've just listened to a really dull thing on radio 4 about the creation of Libya if you need boredom. It'll be on radio iplayer I imagine.

I did find it a bit interesting

I'm probably the furthest North of everyone here and so the weather is performing as well as it should...it's snowing

And tesco sell pretzel m&ms so really the world is ok today.

Sounds good caulk

I can't hang on to anything for more than a minute. I want to curl up into a ball.

I'm in a cafe drinking a cappuccino listening to allegri's miserere and reading my pat Barker novel.

a cappuccino? After 11am?

I'm busy eating sugar so cannot really express too much shock at what you are doing to your digestion

Italians would be horrified, my diabetic nurse would be horrified if she had any bloody idea about glycaemic index rather than being the rabid porridge-monger she is, but I'm on my second coffee and DGAF Have eaten only a glass of milk and a cold egg today so screewwwwww it all

are you on the white diet?

I am shocked at your cappuccino drinking. I am a coffee snob though.

Most of my food is beige. I have to try really hard to add colour

No unless chicken counts as white - just had a couple of cold thighs. Cooked.

DP is driving me nuts at the moment, keeps doing concerned-face at me and going "are you alright?" and "are you sure you're alright?" GRAARGH I AM FINE BUT I WON'T BE IF YOU KEEP ASKING!

I tend towards the beige too. Feeling chilly here, just turned up the heating

Can't keep up today!! But hugs to anyone in need.
Just saw therapist, who apologised for lack of fluff and is back to being fluffy (when she's not kicking my arse, in a well deserved kind of way)
She's just texted me too, so maybe she is really, really sorry....

Turns out beige is an different colour from what i always thought it was.

Stupid sodding ulnar nerve is sodding sodding trapped or something -stabby burny prickly little finger pad and half the one next to it too and of course BRAIN here has decided this is a) diabetic peripheral neuropathy or b) cubital tunnel syndrome caused by diabetic nerve swelling and therefore either way indubitably my own fault for making myself diabetic and for neglectig to be checkecked for years despite knowing I was high risk and was having symptoms of chronic hyperglycaemia. I don't know why people always choose diabetes as a no-fault no-judgement "oh it's just like if you had diabetes, you wouldn't be ashamed/embarrassed/guilty/reluctant to take your tablets then, would you?" analogy when trying to destigmatise mental illness - IME dmt2 is one of the most morally-loaded disorders there is.

I agree, dmt2 is very loaded, alongside 'metabolic syndrome'.

Wish I still had my old psychiatrist, they let me email them about meds changes. I'm anxious about CPN tomorrow late.

Fingers crossed for you Snowy.