thread in which the Mentally Normal sustain a stream of fascinating chat

[Mitchy1nge]

and die of being cold

Sorry, caulk, after you had waited so long :(
how are you feeling?

The options for me where therapy, a dietician, out patient or in patient.
I went for a thanks, but no as none of them are quite what I need. No idea what I do need though.

You know yourself better than anyone and at least you know what's available now, so your decision is a well informed one, if that makes sense
What does your therspist think? I don't imagine you've updated her yet, but is she confident that therapy will help?

That all sounds less than ideal to say the least, ((( caulk )))

I've got the tv on as a distraction, might put on audiobook once carer has been to do lunch (liver and bacon again - not many nice tasting ready meals are circa 400 kcals).

I dunno. She will be fine about it, she gets the analogy he have me. Well, she will. It's a thing about a house of cards and the level of stuff. Can't explain it as no words today.

It's ok, not having the words is fine

we all have the Chat of The Mentally Normal to help anyway, a little known curative for many disorders be they mild, moderate, severe or NOS

We do, that's true. Does it cure having inadvertently eaten 1000kcal worth of meat and dips for lunch?

sorry, no, food is medicine

in a minute we can play that game where you try to run away from me and I win by running very slowly for a very long way

on a long run I have this recurring fantasy that I and I alone can save the townspeople by carrying something fragile (say, an explosive device) and I have to run with it very carefully for many, many miles . . .

(nobody can say I do not use those hours of mental space wisely or productively!)

(because turning invisible didn't work, sorry :()

Lying on the sofa feeling sorry for myself- a gift of 10 points for the first person to tell me a joke that makes me laugh.

Today medicine was roast pepper and spinach, egg and two sweet corn fritters. Plus coffee. Lots of coffee. And tea that looks like wee.

Mitchy, first ever marathon was a man passing a message 26.2 miles away. Olympia to marathon or something. Could you hire yourself out for similar?

it was 25 miles, to Athens, then he dropped dead

and if THAT doesn't make you laugh I fear you may be beyond the reach of humour's grasp

Oh that was it.
Didn't laugh. Sorry. I am beyond hope.

I bet I can run more slowly than you. But only for a very short way. I was overtaken by three actual runners yesterday on a twenty minute jog to the gym. Also elderly people, crawling toddlers, nearby slugs etc.

ummmm ok a proper joke

Man walks into pub (obviously a person with a minge would never do such a thing unless she was the joke) and slipped on some dog poo. Pub landlord v apologetic and rushes off for mop and bucket during which time a second man walks in, and also slips in the dog poo, gets up, is all smeared in the filthy nasty stuff.

First man says, "I just did that!"

Second man punches him in the face.

JOKE:

Q. What is brown and sticky?

A. A stick.

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

Doug.

What do you call a man without a spade on his head?

Douglas.

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

Cliff.

Read pub joke three times, smiled. That'll do.
Stick, yes. No funny. I knew it already. Works well follows by poo joke.
You've lovely both, thanks.

Excellent. Thanks.

I only know one person who ever laughed at the stick joke. It was DP, and he was helpless for twenty minutes the first time I told it to him.

And the second time.

I fear there is something not quite right there.

Michael Johnson, the Olympic Gold Medal runner, was on his way to a club with some friends. At the door the bouncer turned to him and said, “Nah, sorry mate, you can’t come in here; no denim allowed.”

Michael, quite annoyed by this, retorted, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m Michael Johnson.”

To which the bouncer replied, “Then it won’t take you long to run home and change.”

(the michael johnson one is supposed to be a true story rather than a joke but is kind of funny)

I laughed at it the first time I heard it I think.

Love the Michael Johnson one. Thanks. Humour crisis obverted. Thanks.

This might make you laugh, depending on how much of a sadist you are.

I'm currently trapped on the loo. I need to wipe but I chopped some chillies earlier and I'm afraid.