Being Mentally Normal: The Theory and The Actuality

[Mitchy1nge]

we must be on part 11 or something by now?

Just the social acceptability of it I guess. It's ok to laugh with others about drinking a bottle of wine but not about attacking yourself with a razor.

Or maybe it's all just the same and people are equally weirded out by everything?

Dunno. Can't say I can see there being a Saturday night doing-unspeakable-things-to-yourself thread any time soon. Or a little razor blade emoticon to offer to others having a hard time.

"Ugh, DP and DC are giving me such a hard time, stressy day!"

"Ugh, poor you. [razor] o' clock?"

They're missing a trick. I might suggest it under site stuff.

Hm. Not asleep.

Did you drop back off in the end?
I had a lie in, until 8.36, which is huuuuge for me. Cup of tea brought to me in bed too

Can't decide what act of mental normality to indulge in today. I dabble, now and then...

A little bit of mental normality here and there is no bad thing.

My act of mental normality for today involves a piece of pork belly that needs slow roasting. Currently still in bed napping with my cat.

I'm trying not to go back to bed (I had a lie in until 9:30). Groceries coming between 12-1. I feel exhausted, hate that side effect the most.

ooh I saw pica chat as I scrolled up, during each pregnancy I ate the soles of (new and unworn!) plimsolls, just the rubber bits cut into bite size squares, and elastic bands. The smell still makes me salivate and I still indulge with bits of rubber from the flooring of the school we use for jumping but only now and then.

anyway had mad moment of being more mentally normal than normal people on my run (once I finally got out there, MEDAL for that, it was really fucking cold and 'marathon pace' makes even 10 miles take aaaages) was about halfway and really enjoying it, well wrapped up, easy effort, nothing hurting and empty tummy so no spew to gargle which has been happening lately - anyway it just sort of occurred to me, would it really matter if I gained weight as long as I could go out and run and enjoy it? Even if that weight was partly fat, which it will be, if it didn't stop me running and if it would even help (does not seem legit but the world is a strange place and bodies are stranger) would it hurt to be bigger? And it just felt like no, it wouldn't, and it was a lovely feeling for the next couple of miles.

That sounds like a wonderful thought, mitchy

I'm more awake now, just had lunch (liver and bacon and mash)

We're heading for a local huge garden centre, which is so huge, it's practically a town, for lunch and attempts at normality
DD keeps singing little donkey, loudly, I fear is not congruent with attempts at normality

yes well they can't accuse me of not enjoying rich internal quality chat with self while running

I skipped breakfast because have had problems with it reappearing while running on last two mornings but had 200mls of chocolate milk and 150g cottage cheese when I got in and am sipping some zero electrolyte tabs in water in unlikely event I broke a sweat (there is extra potassium because lithium and hypokalemia are already good friends without adding long runs)

cold busy afternoon of horses again, brown horse lame with one horrifically large knee, vet tomorrow if hasn't gone down - bizarrely he is sound but it doesn't look good, there's no heat though so goodness only knows

I'm watching trashy films, Bridget Jones recorded last night, live and let die later.

Regretting staying up until 4.30am playing video games. Sleep phase is delayed enough as it is. Grr. Silly me.

I used to be like that with WOW. Can you take a short nap?

trashy films sound the perfect way to spend the day!

enpo you have my sympathies, it is really hard getting a good sleep/wake routine even though it brings more benefits (based on personal study of own self only) than any med ever

am hiding in bathroom pretending to get changed - due to some miraculous fault (or design?) of the daringly modern central heating which arrived a year or so ago, when you open the bathroom door it's like someone is blowing a hair dryer in your face, like a dream of Texas but without the smell of pigs, I love it in here. I might get a sign for the door saying Death Valley.

Have slept plenty now, just at the wrong time. Left to my own devices, I would sleep 3am to midday, usually. On phenelzine I need an extra hour. I think I have DSPD. Delayed sleep phase, that is. Not dangerous and severe personality disorder. At least, I don't think so.

It's odd because my "normal" sleep pattern looks pathological so when I have trouble with sleep because of depression (day-night reversal, early morning waking, skipped nights, and sometimes 25-26 hour days for a few weeks) it doesn't look so different from my usual, doesn't follow the exact times you would expect, and it's hard for me to accept that my aim is to get back to my usual 2am-3am to 11am-midday cycle - I get ambitious and try to go to bed at 11pm, which is just doomed from the start

I hate being delayed. People treat me like a lazy teenager. But if I try to sleep 11pm-8am, I only get 3 or four hours' sleep, night after night lying there until 3am.

My bathroom, like my kitchen, isn't on the central heating system

Liver and bacon sounds delicious.

Actually, I think I'm making it all up and am just lazy.

One of my bras has disappeared.

Utter disaster.

I only have two bras (except my sports bra).

Emergency. Missing bra. Where did I put it?

Is it down the side of something? Mixed up with other washing? Did you make it into the bed?

I'm watching shrek now. And you're not making it up or lazy, enpo

Thanks Snowy It's embarrassing, sometimes, being in bed all morning. I made it to bed luckily

NO idea where bra is. I've looked in all the usual places, and DP has just put a black delicates wash on that it should've gone in, which is annoying as it's now missed its laundry slot.

I will check down the side of the sofa.

Dressed! Now to go downstairs.

Missing bras in this house are almost always down the arm of the bedroom sofa so it sounds a good place to look.

We have heavy snow here. Hurrah.

My call for the bra is in someone else's bedroom, as that is where they would be here. Check all other bedrooms.

Enjoy the snow, caulk None here.