Being Mentally Normal: The Theory and The Actuality

[Mitchy1nge]

we must be on part 11 or something by now?

I don't have a care plan. Should I have one? How do I get one? Why don't I have one? Do I need one? Why have I now developed anxiety about my lack of planned care?

I'm hoping to see my care plan today. I wonder if I can put running in it and ignore my sodding big toe joint which hurts for no reason now when I run.

I didn't put running in there, the OT did, but it doesn't say self harm it just says is important to moderate it as is all sort of tangled up with purging behaviours and also can mean a change in mental state - you'd think they would be pleased people enjoy moving about wouldn't you

there's 6 pages of stuff in total which is not all bollocks

am going to familiarise myself with my early warning signs, has been ages since I had any manic depressive type crises

Six pages

I know some of my early warning signs, none of which the MH services appear to know or care about even when I tell them "I have early warning sign A, which means drastic consequence B is likely to happen at some point". Self-awareness counts for nothing to them - or at least, they decide that what was actually happening was me "threatening" to do consequence B in order to manipulate them, or to alleviate symptom A

It's probably good to have a read through every so often if only to laugh/boggle at what has been written.

early warning signs

elevated mood: when mitchy's mood becomes elevated she requires less sleep, sometimes not sleeping for days at a time (this is not entirely true, I don't go DAYS without ANY sleep) she reports increased sexual activity and thoughts. Mitchy will drink excessively (I don't think this is true either, drugs maybe) and spend money to excess, not concerned about debts this may cause. Mitchy will increase her activities and become obsessional about ideas (that is just a personality trait, to be fair) learning about topics and planning bizarre schemes . Mitchy will also have a loss of appetite.

low mood: mitchy becomes apathetic and socially withdraws, she will be increasingly tired, sleeping excessively. Mitchy finds it difficult to maintain routines. She will screen her phone calls and not reply to texts, she will also interact less with her animals (:( that is a bit sad isn't it, or maybe they enjoy the break? ) mitchy may experience increased anxiety regarding everyday activities.

god even after all these years I find it really difficult

I just assume that am meant to feel that way, however it is, it feels normal for me even if there are quite big changes

after cbt I can sort of notice behavioural changes though, like if am at home and can walk past the cats without stroking them (am usually addicted to molesting my cats)

How does it work - is the onus on you to say to someone that you're having early warning signs, or is it someone's job to notice when you see them, if that makes sense?

Have only been in the "system" four months so it's still all very new, and I am still doubtful about the bipolar diagnosis anyway - doctor today signed me off who the BPD label.

I just assume that am meant to feel that way, however it is, it feels normal for me

Yep exactly the same here - "oh, this is the normal, real me"

oh there is a column for action to be taken and a column called by whom

so action to be taken: if there are concerns for mitchy's health she or family members contact 'cmht' (is not called that) for step-up care, mitchy has been resistant to input from home treatment previously (I liked the home treatment psych) but this should be considered as a step to prevent hospital admission

by whom: mitchy, family member, GP

Effing phone keeps freezing, refreshing page and deleting what I've written
It probably needs a software update, but my mental normality doesn't extend to installing said update

Good afternoon all.

Mitch, it is a strange one about exercise being good but also used as a self harming tool. In my care plan I am to restrict to 3hours exercise a day, told psychiatrist that I am exercising at the moment to self distract from od'ing and do 4 to 5 hour ex a day( combined walk to and from gym-total 8 to 9 miles walk, then 2 hours 30 mins approx cardio at gym), told this was OK because it is a coping mechanism

Good afternoon :) update installed, phone didn't like it, picked up MacBook to write a passive aggressive status on facebook, phone started working again
I wonder whether technology and I are well suited, I'm thinking not

I agree with enpo about the mixed blessing of self-awareness on explaining any kind of care plan to professionals. I've been on the receiving end of "tooth is saying that she is having difficulty eating in order to manipulate us into believing that.."

The MH system really needs to sort out its thinking on the issue

OH is Very Annoyed at me, because I am messing about with my career (career, hollow laughter). He thinks I have had every opportunity to sort my life out (he's right, sadly) and I keep messing up. I just can't get to the bottom of why, or why I let opportunities pass me by and sabotage everything.

I agree, it's often like that enpo and tooth

((( millie )))

How's everyone doing?
Since being told i can be as mental as I want to be, I have developed normality and done at least ten minutes of tidying and nearly an hour of knitting.

Hi Caulk, glad to hear you're managing a bit of normality. Maybe lifting the stress of work has been a good thing.
I still at work, ploughing through paperwork and looking forward to going home. I'm starving.

Have you got something nice to look forward to for tea? It's tortellini here, or possibly just chocolate torte.
Please can you not prescribe anyone lithium, because it's too big. Thanks

I've not managed much normality today, unless looking after DD counts, I can be very normal when she's around
Not sure I CBA with dinner, currently picking at DD's pasta

Definitely counts. can you find something nice to have for tea that you fancy?
Is it possible to explore some more support at the moment? I don't know how, but maybe it would help.

Don't know what dinner is, DP will be home before me so is in charge of cooking. I'm hoping for veal schnitzel.
What brand of lithium are you taking? I take Priadel and it's not too awful to swallow although it tastes a bit off.

Yes it's priadel.
I think I've had too many paracetamol on various occasions and it reminds me of that

Sardines for tea here. I'm struggling with normality too, maybe tomorrow will be better for that.

Birdman was great but I unwittingly chose a subtitled showing - massive distracting bright yellow text the whole time.

When I asked, afterwards, they said it was "colourcoded" which showings were subtitled - not anywhere I saw, it wasn't. The website does tell you which showings are subtitled but only once you've clicked through to book tickets. The screens showing times in the cinema didn't say anything and the guy selling the tickets didn't mention it, so... yeah.

Meeting with care coordinator went okay though.