I have a 7 week old baby and some suicudal thoughts. Is this just rational?

[splendide]

My DS is 7 weeks today and I don't think I can handle being a mum. The sleep deprevation is killing me, I'm feeding him constantly. He had a tongue tie which went undiagnosed until Wednesday just gone. He hasn't gained much weight and is only about 7lbs now. I was hoping things would be better after the tongue tie snip but they aren't.

Anyway I'm having some pretty dark thoughts and I know I should tell the HV or GP but what could they do? It's pretty rational to want out of this situation. Do meds really make any difference? I'll still be a mother who can't feed her child and still having no sleep and still in a situation where ive ruined my life. How are drugs or counselling going to change that?

Splendide, if you take nothing else away from this thread then please believe people when they tell you it WILL get better.

I had PND with my first two and was pretty much like you are right now. It was fucking horrible, I wanted to die, I wanted to give my dc to whoever would take them and run away and keep running. It took me 3 months with dc1 to finally see I needed help. I would urge you not to wait that long. The help is there. The tablets DO work. I am living proof!

You are doing an amazing job just having got to 8 weeks, those are the hardest, without a doubt.

My advice is to take each day am hour at a time. Don't even think about the hour after the one you're in. Have a goal for that one hour. Small things like do a wee, brush your teeth, turn the washing machine on. Keep it all small and only things you know you can achieve. Watch a half an hour programme. Very slowly and very surely you'll start to see you can achieve things. Feel proud of yourself for doing those things. Later in the day think of all those things and you'll be amazed what you did. It sounds weird being proud of yourself for these every day things but its these things that can overwhelm you and feel insurmountable right now.

With the feeding I abandoned breastfeeding and it was the best thing I ever did. All of a sudden a routine started to emerge and i felt a bit more in control.

It takes time, alot of time. But honestly in afew months time you'll look back and be so proud of how you coped.

Please go and talk to your gp asap. Get an emergency appt, I called mine up and they refused to see me and I literally just had to utter the words I think I've got PND and they saw me immediately. They are very very up on these things these days, they will help you.

Your dh will feel useless for a while but keep the communication open. Get him to read about PND himself so he can maybe understand its something you are not in control of (mine was good but couldn't grasp why id be depressed as we have a lovely house, good jobs, - if only that was the answer!!)

Good luck for the day ahead.

I hope you are ok this morning. Soon there'll be a day when you don't cry and when you look at your baby and your heart burst. You'll look back on this time as a horrible black time. For me it was based around my hormones. Once I stopped breast feeding ( actually the baby decided to stop breast feeding) I felt better within days. ( I'm not saying you should it's just my situation).

You will get through this but get help. You're not the only one going through this. (A lot of people just would never admit it and prefer to tell the world that everything is fine).

Big love.

It will get easier, but that doesn't always help at the time. I had a very dark time with dc2 due to tongue tie. He couldn't feed well and I had a job getting him to even latch onto a bottle. (Switched at 3 months) I can't look at photos from that time. However, it seems like a different life now.

I hope today is a better day for you.

How are you doing?
Only post if you feel up to it, I know it can seem like another pressure

When I was a maternity nurse I supported a mum with PND. It was hard for her but with the right support she got better and you will too. Make a phone call.

There are brand-new guidelines - out last week - about taking PND seriously. Darling, if you can make that call or get someone else to do it - and you don't have to be clear or coherent, just say it as the PP says - they will help you.

Good morning, I hope you got some rest last night.

Wishing you lots of courage and love today with your phonecAlss to the gp/hv. Your dh could call for you.

Hello

Really hope you're feeling a little brighter Splendide.

We've moved this to Mental Health now.

Best wishes for a good Christmas from MNHQ

Hope things are really looking better for you now Splendide.

Just wanted to say you are in my thoughts and I hope you have a nice Christmas and it's the beginning of you being better

X

Thanks. I do feel a little better actually. I have agreed a plan with the HV to suppliment with a bit of formula to get my baby's weight up. I'm sad about it but not as desperate as I thought I would be. Thanks so much for a the kind words on here, it really did help. I know this isn't going to last forever I can get through it I think.

That sounds so much better. Have a merry Christmas and keep checking in

Splendide how are you feeling now? Ivebeen thinking about you over Christmas. I hope you are feeling a little better x

Bump

I hope Splendide doesn't mind me saying, but she is on our postnatal thread and is doing much better. She took everyone's advice and has been mixed feeding. There are still down days of course but she is getting ongoing support (as we all do) from the postnatal thread.xxx