Issues at the interface of Mavis, community-based psychiatric services and the mentally normal

[Mitchy1nge]

I think that covers us all?

Suffice it to say dinner might be very late tonight

Also, I now need a wee and he's currently wedged on the toilet with his top half embedded in plumbing.

it sounds really really stressful

do you own the house between you?

Was there a problem with the plumbing in the first place?

It's his house, though he would've lost it if I hadn't moved in and sorted out the three-foot-high pile of unopened paperwork, organised a remortgage to clear debts, etc., when I moved in. I was only 16 so couldn't sign anything but I went through everything and basically got him to sign things. Helped him wind up his company (thankfully limited liability), hid from bailiffs, looked through tax stuff, all that shit. So I feel like I have a moral claim on it, but legally, no, it's 100% his (except the mortgage).

He saw some taps he liked in B&Q a while back, and apparently the current tap is leaky and needed replacing. For some reason that happens today.

can you stay with friends or family until it is fully operational?

have lived amidst major and long drawn out renovation work for past 20+ yrs so can begin to imagine, but is my house so not much choice

we do have heating at last though, and a kitchen sink (both under 2 years old!)

Thankfully he's taken a break so I've had a wee now

No friends or family nearby. It shouldn't take too long. I hope.

but you said has been ten years with no kitchen?

I'm kind of used to living in a building site full of hoarded crap. Wait, that's a lie. I find it stressful to think about coming home and can't begin to think where to start on housework - even washing up is hard with a draining rack on a towel on the washing machine and no cupboard space to put anything away in, and what cupboards there are being behind oceans of DIY equipment. It means there's half an hour's work to do before I can even start running water, as the only place for dirty dishes is either in the sink or on the cooker, and they're often full of stuff. Arghing bollocks. I can't express to anyone how stressful it is or they'll think I can't cope, and I can't talk to DP about it because he can't cope with what he sees as criticism. I was would have hired someone to fit the kitchen but DP would see that as an admission that he can't do it himself and a criticism from me. Can't do it without discussion because firstly, it would hurt him a lot, and secondly, he's the one with the money

I have working cooker and sink, but there's only a small amount of worktop and cupboard, the rest having been demolished.

Everything is made of bits of scrap wood and things that will do, so is really hard to clean and keep tidy. And we have a lot if electrical work he's done, none of which is part p certified, so if we ever have to sell up it will be a nightmare.

It sounds awful, I know, but he's such a lovely guy and puts up with me, so what can I do?

Yeah the kitchen is never getting done. I've accepted that, I guess.

Sounds like a difficult situation. I can understand why it would stress you out. Has your DP got plans to do the kitchen at some point?

Sorry, cross posted.

But hopefully the bath taps will work by the end of this evening. Pleasepleaseplease.

Thankfully veal burgers have been shelved for now and have bunged sausages in oven, so there will be food today.

Er. I haven't asked him about the kitchen lately.

we lived in similar conditions for a really long time, even without back doors for 3 years, flooded kitchen, no cooker, no heating, no hot water and way way back no roof, just twisted rafters with bark on them under blue tarpaulins or electricity

it makes me wince to remember it and it is only in the past two years I've had a kitchen sink and a cooker - you get used to it but look back and realise how much the stress exacerbated everything else

was worth it for me because mortgage almost paid off and house has made some money but is a horrible way to live

I mostly just try to not see it. It's just impossible to know what to do.

so are you paying the mortgage but not named on the deeds?

I do have cooker/sink/roof/doors/central heating/hot water. It's not too bad. But I look at the fact that at more or less my age, my parents renovated an old ruin to a family home, while my dad was working full-time and my mum had a new baby, and I wonder why I can't manage to fix a simple two-bed end-terrace.

maybe you have more on your plate than they did, relatively speaking

am sure it will be lovely when it's done

Well, the mortgage is paid out of his account. The only money I have coming in is ESA and DLA, which goes on daily living expenses, and some gets saved (not sure where/how, DP deals with my savings for me now). So I guess he pays the mortgage.

The worst I've had to deal with is when we got the thatch redone a couple of years ago, it was an expensive nightmare.