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Original poster

He won't stop crying and I don't want him anymore.

150 replies

2Babies0Bumps · 04/10/2006 12:27

My 4 week old for the last week just screams all day long and I am not exagerating. It is constant and it is pushing me to the edge.
I already have a toddler to contend with.
Both pregs were planned and wanted.
If someone was to come and take him, I wouldn't care.
Right now he is screaming unconsolably and I just want to walk out the door with my firstborn and never come back.
Please help me.
I can't be bothered to change my name as you can all see.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 05/10/2006 18:35

Hang on 2B0B... you need to measure like a sash from the top of your shoulder down to your hip (where you'd put your hand in a hand-on-hip pose) and round up the back.

Original poster
2Babies0Bumps · 05/10/2006 18:45

oh god....that is 52 inches!
ive told you my bust size for nothing!!
oh well....
we're all friends here....!

OP posts:
happygolucky22 · 05/10/2006 19:12

hey my little angel done this at about 6 months old screamed and screamed unless you had her in your arms, it went on for about a month drove me crazy,i was ready to give her away,also had just split up from her dad so was alone! i treid everything with her,have you tried not eaten certain food if you are breatfeeding as i found spring onion made her really bad,have you got him in a moses basket or cot? when he sleeps?

lunavix · 05/10/2006 19:22

you can have my swing sweetheart! If dd gets terrible in the future I may pout and ask to borrow it back

It's an oldish graco one, was given it by another MNer recently. email me at dark willow girl @ yahoo . co . uk (minus the spaces!)

SoupDragon · 05/10/2006 19:57
Grin
SoupDragon · 05/10/2006 19:57

I promise not to tell anyone

newmum36 · 05/10/2006 20:08

Someone mentioned the earplugs. Have you got a portable cd player or something? If you can get some cheap noise reducing headphones, how about a walk with the pram and shut out the noise around you and drown yourself in something you enjoy (this is of course assuming you don't have a toddler to amuse too) - I found that helped when my ds was screaming his head off (buggy does not automatically send him off each time)...Some people looked at me funny but I felt like yelling at them "well you put up with it then"....

ArwenMae · 05/10/2006 20:57

Hi, first time on mumsnet and i saw your message. Please give yourself a big hug or get a dear friend to do it for you, pour yourself a big glass of wine and ask someone to take the little crying one for a drive. I have four kids and i know how you feel. look after yourself.

mummyscaryhouseonthehill · 05/10/2006 21:17

I found the swing to be worth it's weight in gold. Another method we used to settle ds was to place him in bouncey chai in front of washing machine or tumble dryer whilst it was running through it's cycle the white noise combined with a monotonous view seemed to settle him and send him to sleep.

crayon · 05/10/2006 21:22

If you have access to the train station, there is a very good cranial osteopath in Bath I could let you have details of. E-mail me on h o t c h o c 1 0 0 1 @ y a h o o . c o . u k

billiejo · 05/10/2006 21:33

hiya, i think a couple of others have mentioned this already but i'm another one with a reflux baby who did exactly the same thing as your little one. he was particularly bad when put down....turned out every time he was laid flat, acid would wash up his throat and burn him, poor little mite. anyways, he's now on meds and at 9mnths is a happy little chap but it took me a good 2 months of pacing back and from the docs to get it diagnosed. hang on in there love. xx

Orinoco · 05/10/2006 21:39

Message withdrawn

Orinoco · 05/10/2006 21:42

Message withdrawn

asur · 05/10/2006 22:53

Hi, I've only just skim-read this thread so sorry if I repeat anything anyone else has said...just wanted to share...

My DS screamed constantly all day after he was born. Drove me mad and I really did feel like walking out - in fact I did a couple of times (when DH was home!) but I only got as far as the end of the street then realised I didn't have anywhere to go and I felt guilty that DS wouldn't have any food!

I tried cranial osteopathy, bought a swing, a sling, a bouncy chair, gripe water (just in case it was wind). Nothing really made any difference but he did grow out of it! Never thought he would but he's now nearly 5months and is a total angel all day - smiling and laughing. Only times he crys is at bedtime as he doesn't like sleeping!

the crying did stop gradually so can't say exactly when it did stop but I would say he was definately more settled into himself by 3months (sounds forever away I know but you'll get there!)

I think the crying was just because he was frustrated at being a baby and not able to do anything so when he was able to do more and take more in, he got happier. Whether that's true, I'll never know but I like that explanation

Oh, we did find that music relaxed him a bit - he still loves listening to music. I got a little pair of speakers (only an inch wide) for my mp3 player and attached that to his pram (pinned on in a scratch mit - very high-tech!) and went for a walk. Seemed to calm him a bit and gave me fresh air which was good. If you think this might help, I can certainly send you the speakers (and mp3 if you don't have one) just email me: asur69@ hotmail . com

Good luck!
(sorry if post is a bit long!)

Original poster
2Babies0Bumps · 05/10/2006 22:54

Thanks so much for all the posting you are all doing. Im checking in regularly to have a read even if i dont get time to post.
that retained placenta thing is very interesting.
i had post partum haemorrage (sp?) this time and was and still am convinced a bit was left as the bleeding kept stopping then flooding again really red and awful (sorry if tmi) with lots of clots.
have looked into all suggestions of reflux, colic etc and observing him closely....
he seems really, really hungry.
if i, for example... give him an ounce of formula he is a totally different baby which is reassuring as it seems to sort him out, but not good for my confidence!!
(btw, if i give him any formula i always express straight afterwards- im not giving up yet)

OP posts:
PinkyRed · 05/10/2006 23:00

Don't have anything to add just wanted to say hang on in there and to send you a {hug}

wrinklytum · 05/10/2006 23:08

2 babies Ive posted already on thread.Mine was a champion guzzler.Had a really quick birth.She had cord round neck.Often wonder if this caused her to be so unsettled.Honestly, it will get better in time.Just reading your op brings tears to my eyes.

I have a sling that you can have free if you want it I could post it to you if it helps.

Hang in there!!

Original poster
2Babies0Bumps · 05/10/2006 23:13

thanks wrinklytum (love the name!)
i have a better baby sling that i dont get on with as there is just too much baggy material everywhere- im a simple being- hence soupy is making me an easy one (bless her heart. x )
if it is different to those i could give it a try. he likes to be carried which is fine but not always easy with toddler.

OP posts:
wrinklytum · 05/10/2006 23:16

I know,its so much harder second time around.

wigglebumsmum · 06/10/2006 08:41

really good to read this thread. ds is now 17 days old and finding it hard going. he is feeding constantly- the hv says its a growth spurt and will go on for 3-5 days but it is literally feed for half hour and then he snoozes for half an hour if i am still holding him., The minute i put him down he screams the place down and i am frazzled. i managed to get 2 and half hours solid sleep last night when dh took him out of the room and entertained him/keep me from hearing him crying. the guilt factor is awful though when you hear them crying. i took him for a walk yesterday when the screaming got too much and was stopped by a woman who told me i should get home because someone needed feeding. i nearly screamed at her. he hadn't stopped feeding. what slings do people recommend? i think its going to be a must, especially as dh is going away for a coule of months and i'm going to be by myself.

MsPea · 06/10/2006 08:46

Hi 2Babies, I made a post like yours a couple of weeks ago. dd is my first but crued constantly unless feeding or asleep. We still have bad days but one thing I think helped was spacing feeds to 3 hours if at all poss and also feeding from the same side if within 3 hours of the previous feed. (tiktok suggested within 6 hours but my other boob got sore and I find expressing difficult to sustain). I think this has chilled dd out and also has given me a bit more time when I know i won't be glued to a baby AND a chair which makes me feel a bit more sane. Might be worth a try. Hugs and sympathy.

Twopinkoneblue · 06/10/2006 09:25

After reading all these threads. I noticed a few people have suggested getting hold of The Happiest baby book/DVD by Dr Harvey Karp. The techniques really do work to calm crying babies.It worked for my 3. It really is worth a try.
Good Luck
Hang in there!

Original poster
2Babies0Bumps · 06/10/2006 09:30

im on the case re. the karp book!

OP posts:
ruthey · 06/10/2006 10:43

poor poor you i so know how you feel with DS2 i had exactly the same thing he cried/screamed all day long and was really windy, we tried everything i also was b/f and probaly not what you want to hear but i switched to powder milk (after 6wks) and with 24hrs he was a different baby. i hate to advertise powder milk i b/f DS1 till he was 1 and he never had a bottle but after exhausting every thing else i gave in and it was totaly what DS2 needed. Hope this helps good luck

babysquirrel · 06/10/2006 11:52

Tell someone other than mumsnetters exactly how you feel, perhaps your health visitor, GP or an understanding family member. I've been there and really did not like or love my little one. Things only started to get better when I told someone. It turned out that I had PND and my tension and emotions were rubbing off on her. As soon as I had one good night sleep and a long talk about my feelings things got alot better. She still cried but I handled it.

All the best and hope things get better soon.