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Original poster

He won't stop crying and I don't want him anymore.

150 replies

2Babies0Bumps · 04/10/2006 12:27

My 4 week old for the last week just screams all day long and I am not exagerating. It is constant and it is pushing me to the edge.
I already have a toddler to contend with.
Both pregs were planned and wanted.
If someone was to come and take him, I wouldn't care.
Right now he is screaming unconsolably and I just want to walk out the door with my firstborn and never come back.
Please help me.
I can't be bothered to change my name as you can all see.

OP posts:
lulunaticmama · 04/10/2006 12:53

sister had this with her newborn - turned out to be reflux - take him to docs and have him checked out just in case, especially if none of the other tips seem to help...she had tried everything and knew something was up...

also, hugs to you- it's hard going isn;t it?? you're not alone. i know most mums, myself included had those days when you just could not take it for another moment...

Original poster
2Babies0Bumps · 04/10/2006 12:55

i am buying a swing tonight.
dh is helping my old man move house tonight so as soon as he gets in he can drive us to mothercare to buy a swing then i will call my mum to come round.

with ds1, he was very poorly when he was born so i went into over protective overdrive and didnt want or let anyone touch him.
this time i am much more relaxed and until this crying started, he seemed much more mellow than ds1 was.

OP posts:
moljam · 04/10/2006 12:55

where do you live?

Bugsy2 · 04/10/2006 12:57

2BoB, I remember when my first baby had the worst colic in the world I actually wished he would die. I feel so awful that I thought it now, but at the time the hours & hours of screaming just filled me with dispair.
You have so much sympathy from me. One thing I found helpful was to swaddle DS very tight and then put him in a room with the hoover on. The white noise seemed to calm him a bit & if it didn't, it gave me 5 mins away from him to calm myself without listening to the screaming.
Where are you? If you are in SW London anywhere, I will happily come over one afternoon & take your baby for a long walk.

pooka · 04/10/2006 13:03

Much sympathy It's horrible isn't it? Particularly when you are also (if you're like me) tied up with guilt about the effect of the new baby on your first born.
If it helps, going out the front door and running as far away as possible used to be a guilty fantasy of mine. Not all the time, but occasionally I'd get the fight or flight adrenaline rush where I felt like a switch had been pressed in my brain. At those times I would go and make a cup of tea and just shut the door so I couldn't be "got".
It DOES get better. Ds is now 1 and dd 3. I do still fantasise about time out, butam finding that it's less frequent.
A sling certainly did help with ds when he was cry-y. And with him it was colic, but because also already had dd to deal with, it seemed much worse with him than with dd.

mandymac · 04/10/2006 13:10

Definately worth checking out Harvey Karps - Happiest Baby on the Block Book or DVD, as already suggested. He has specific advice for parents of persistant cryers. His theory is that you should try and create the 'womb' environment, as evolution has meant that our babies are really born about 3 months too early (which is why they seem to get so much easier at 3 months). His techniques include using the swing, but combining it with swaddling, shushing, kind of jiggling baby on your knees (much better explanation in the book) and I think white noise. Anyway it seemed to make a lot of sense and it did help some of the time. They might have the book or DVD at mothercare if you are going tonight.

dinny · 04/10/2006 13:11

2Babies - really really feel for you, dd cried all the time. Swing helped her a little but what I couldn't have coped without was a sling, literally 'wore' her all the time till she was about 7 months as it was the only way to get any peace and quiet (also think it really helped to be upright as she was very colicky). have you got one?

Original poster
2Babies0Bumps · 04/10/2006 13:13

i have not tried white noise yet.
he is on the boob and quiet atm. then he will drift off so i will try and put him down and he will kick off again.
i have a mothercare carrier which is good and got a 'better baby sling' the other day that i just cannot get the hang off. thats going on ebay soon.
he likes the carrier but it swings about a bit iykwim so am on the lookout for a wrap type so he is tight against me.

OP posts:
dinny · 04/10/2006 13:16

that's what ds was like (2nd child) - couldn't put him down even when he'd drifted off feeding... I used to make sure I had a muzzy or something under his arm when feeding so he could carry on holding onto it when I put him down. have you tried a dummy?

dinny · 04/10/2006 13:17

though neither of mine would ever take one, annoyingly, seriously think it would have been a godsend if they had!

Piffle · 04/10/2006 13:18

if you are near me I would be ahppy to coem and help you out?

Original poster
2Babies0Bumps · 04/10/2006 13:21

he will use a dummy but not often. i am in wiltshire.
no one else seems to live here!

OP posts:
Original poster
2Babies0Bumps · 04/10/2006 13:22

why do some people not agree with swings then?
and how much does this cranial thing cost? the birth was straight forward water birth.
will also look for that dvd.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 04/10/2006 13:22

BabyDragon was similar. She was only happy when in the Coorie pouch sling next to me. They are easy peasy to use (similar to the Better Baby Sling but no rings). The baby just snuggles in it like a hammock.

Whereabouts are you?

Original poster
2Babies0Bumps · 04/10/2006 13:24

i have calmed down again now. i get frantic for about half an hour then im ok, even if he is still crying.
it is very strange.

OP posts:
Bugsy2 · 04/10/2006 13:29

My DD was also colicky but not quite as severe as DS & the dummy really helped her. I used to put her in the swing, with the dummy propped into her mouth with a muslin so it wouldn't drop out & just sigh with relief as the screaming stopped. She was another big fan of the hoover too.

fondant4000 · 04/10/2006 13:29

I think it's admirable that you think of leaving, and not of throwing him straight through the window (which is how I felt with dd).

It's more normal than you think. My neighbour saved my sanity by telling me she felt exactly the same with her dd, and I wasn't a terrible mother - just a very tired, stressed woman (I do not handle sleep deprivation well).

My 2nd is due in 7 weeks and I am dreading the first 6 weeks of anger and guilt. My dd would not be put down. Things that helped: carrying in sling all the time, rocking, extractor fan in the kitchen, someone else holding her, constant bfing.

I remember sticking her in a sling in just her nappy and going for a walk round the block in the dark (summer). She either stopped crying when outside, or it didn't sound as loud as when reverberating off the walls. It will pass.

poppiesinaline · 04/10/2006 13:31

Poor you 2Babies I have SO been there and its really really really awful. I feel for you so much. Is your HV any good? I would get him checked out just to put your mind at rest that theres nothing underlying going on. My HV was at how much DS1 cried/screamed. Turned out he had silent reflux. One day I put him in his car seat and put him in the garden and shut the door

I remember my HV saying to me that if I felt like I was losing it (which I often did) he would be safe in his cot. Go downstairs and make a cup of tea and leave him to it for a few minutes. He would come to no harm and I would feel a bit better. It did work.

Do you have any friends that could help?

oliveoil · 04/10/2006 13:34

my neighbour had a baby at the similar time to me having dd2 and I remember one day shouting SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!! at dd2 very loudly indeed and feeling a bit . And then the next day heard the same thing coming through their walls.

So I think most people go through the same highs and lows so do not feel bad if you occasionally want to run away etc

intergalacticwalrus · 04/10/2006 13:37

2Babies0Bumps, where in Wilts are you?? I am i Bath if that's any good, and I also have a 4 weeks old and a toddler. DS1 was very very demanding, and it's awful.

DS1 had dreadful colic and also reflux. It was a sodding nightmare, I tell you. I used to find the only peace I got was to strap him in the buggy and walk. He was alos happy as larry next to the washing machine watching it spin etc. That washing machine damn near saved my sanity!

Original poster
2Babies0Bumps · 04/10/2006 13:39

i had him in the carrier and he was quiet since i last posted (10mins?) now he has started again so i have put him in his bouncy chair. he is still screaming, and now covered in chocolate where ds1 (14m) has tried to put a bourbon cream in his mouth to shut him up.

OP posts:
foxtrottingtotransylvania · 04/10/2006 13:40

2babies, don't forget that this only your first week of coping with two LOs, probably still exhausted after the birth. It is overwhelming, i know, but you will manage. Try the swing, the sling, get out of the house, anything rather than sit and listen to him crying. Is your health visitor any use?

intergalacticwalrus · 04/10/2006 13:40

If all else fails, bung him in a room and shut the door. That used to give me a precious couple of mins to calm down and collect my thoughts.

Original poster
2Babies0Bumps · 04/10/2006 13:41

im in swindon. quite far away i think?
i dont know coz i cant drive.

OP posts:
Original poster
2Babies0Bumps · 04/10/2006 13:42

hv is a bit pants tbh. she is old school and likes to patronize me as i am 'only' 23.
she is what my mother describes as 'watery' ?!

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