He won't stop crying and I don't want him anymore.

[2Babies0Bumps]

My 4 week old for the last week just screams all day long and I am not exagerating. It is constant and it is pushing me to the edge.
I already have a toddler to contend with.
Both pregs were planned and wanted.
If someone was to come and take him, I wouldn't care.
Right now he is screaming unconsolably and I just want to walk out the door with my firstborn and never come back.
Please help me.
I can't be bothered to change my name as you can all see.

sorry hadn't read rest of thread, got a bit excited when you said wilts as didn't think anyone else lived here either!
my dd was very similar very angry hungry cries - it isn't always going to be like this and you will feel better. it does no harm if u leave yr lo to cry whilst you have a break. are you getting a chance to eat? its so important and yet so difficult when you have a demanding infant. all best to you. remember that there are alot of people out there who are thinking of you and know only too well how difficult it is!

I found the tips from Harvey Karp The Happiest Baby (now called Baby Bliss) worked well - I'll send you the book - just email me your address to emily_p70 at hotmail dot com.

Know how you feel and sending big hugs.
x

I, like many others on here, know exactly how you feel and what you're going through.

Not always what you want to here, as it's practical advice you need right now.

Call your GP and HV and arrange appointments.

Sounds like PND could be rearing its ugly head.

I've been on AD's for over 6 years, like a mad woman without them, but relatively "Normal" with them!!!!

My firs child cried every time we put him down!!

Thought we'd tried everything, but since having more children, now realise that baies like the sound of washing machine, hoover, tv (try cbeebies) etc.....

Is there anyone who could take the kids for a short while so that you could have a bath or a sleep???

Exhaustion plays a big part in the early weeks of having a newborn.

Sleep deprivation can make youu feel like you're going crazy.

Would your partner be able to take paternity leave????

2Baies0Bumps, I found this page very helpful when ds3 was like this.

Feel so much sympathy for you. DD1 was a screamer - cried non-stop and it is like torture.

Remind yourself that listening to white noise combined with sleep deprivation is what they do to torture people, so it is not your fault you feel so bad.

You have a high need baby, which when you have had one, you understand how different it is to an easy one. Thankfully you have had one good baby so you will get less worried that you are doing something wrong.

Remember it will come to an end, so you need to take it day by day, hour by hour until it is over, which will be very soon. You should get an improvement at about 6 weeks, with another at about 12 weeks so hang in there.

Some practical tips though - you may have tried all or some of these, and every baby is different, so they may or may not work for you.

Colief - we were passed on this tip by friends thank god. It is an enzyme which breaks down the lactose in either breast or bottle milk, and it was brilliant for dd1. It is expensive, about 10 pounds per bottle which with breastfeeding will last a week. You get it from Boots and it seems to make a huge difference to colicky babies who suffer from wind. Our dd cried all the time as well, all day all night, but this stuff seemed to ease it a lot. Once we ran out and it was straight back to the crying, so I would never be without it.

Someone has already mentioned reflux - worth checking with the GP.

Baby Einstein DVDs (don't be put off by the rather hothouse sounding name). To catch the babies attention for up to half an hour. Yes television is "bad" but to give you half an hour when you really need it is helpful.

All the other tips mentioned are really useful. When things got really bad I used to set off with dd1 in the pushchair and just walk. Crying sounded quieter outside for some reason.

Am thinking of you as you get through this really tough situation.

I have had two screamers and I can REALLY sympathise

It's okay to hate this stage, it's ok to hate them too, as long as you keep taking care of them

It will pass, it is mainly a matter of surviving the first few months (all of you)

A sling helped for dd2 although she hated the pram and the car, so it was mainly in the sling all day

It is SHIT with the toddler as well though, it DOES feel like being in prison

You MIGHT have pnd but I felt all those things and it wasn't pnd, it was just having a screaming newborn for day after day which is the most stressful and depressing thing in the world if you ask me. Being happy and enjoying it would NOT be a NORMAL response.

Get out every day with him in a sling. You will get through it. In a year you might even ENJOY it.

oh yes - when the toddler is asleep, or evenings, television with the subtitles on is the way to go

oh god it brings back AWFUL memories just writing about it

2B0B
I posted a thread 2 weeks ago when my ds2 was 4 weeks asking for some advice and believe me some of it works! but the best advice was from the HV (of all people!!) who gave me permission to leave him to cry - i felt awful every time he was having a screaming paddy but she said if you've tried everything (fed,burped,dry) then he'll come to no harm crying. She'll probably have no recollection telling me this but it just took away some of the guilt.

He's now 6 weeks and has setled a bit - i know the days are long with you're other little one too( i've also got a dd (5) and ds1 (1.11) ) but 2 weeks will go by and the screaming will lessen.

Wish i lived near - but sending you a big hug anyway!

If the crying is worst after feeding or he is relunctant to feed at all it could be silent gastrooesophageal reflux (where no actual vomitting is seen) which can be extremely painful and cause longterm feeding problems. Unfortunately most HV and GPs are'nt knowledgeable about it or good at diagnosing it. I would suggest if you've ruled out all other possible reasons for his crying to take him to your GP and strongly insist on being referred urgently to an experienced paediatric gastroenterologist. Now that patients can choose their hospitals, if you can go for a teaching hospital with a large paediatric department. To diagnose gastrooesphageal reflux the doctor will usually order a pH study.

Mumzy beat me to the punch here, my DD had HORRIBLE silent reflux which we only figured out when my genius DH looked up "baby will only sleep in bouncer" on the internet. Basically we were totally unable to get her to sleep unless she was on our chest or the bouncer otherwise she'd cry. Took our findings to the Quack and got some infant Gaviscon which was like turning a corner.

Good luck with your new one, I know it's not easy, just bear in mind that it can't last forever even though I'm sure it feels that way!

Oh Ive only just found this thread and I could have posted it a few months ago.There is a 2 year age gap with mine and ds was just 2 when dd born.

Firstly it might be worth checking re silent reflux.DD was a hellish baby and screamed from what I initially thiought was colic.Sadly despite tooing and froing to docs it took 6 months before a little light went on and someone suggested silent reflux.Gaviscon worked a treat.

Secondly,it is so so so hard second time round if you have an unsettled baby and demanding toddler.

I found that using cbeebies and dvds were a lifesaver when bfing.(Had always insisted I wouldnt do this but after several weeks of sleep deprivation and feeling I was heading for a nervous breakdown I was willing to try anything.)

If you can and have a dh/dp/mum I would suggest getting them to take your elder one for an hour or two to give you some breathing space.I also found that doing something with just me and toddler even if just bathing them and playing at bathtime while dp had dd meant that the toddler got some much needed mummy time away from the screeching bundle

Re the baby,sure youve tried everything,but suggestions include sling/tilting cot at angle/swaddling/cranial osteopath.Also for your own sanity if you need to put baby in the cot and take 20 mins breather(I went to bottom of garden and sobbed) do it and dont feel guilty.

Ds went to nursery a day a week.This gave me a bit of a breather.Would this be possible for you?

PLEASE PLEASE REMEMBER.IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT YOUR BABY IS UNSETTLED.YOU ARE NOT ABNORMAL FOR FEELING LIKE THIS.(THERE WERE DAYS I COULD CHEERFULLY HAVE GIVEN THEM BOTH AWAY MUCH AS I ADORE THEM)I THINK THOSE FIRST SIX MONTHS WERE THE MOST DIFFICULT OF MY LIFE.ANYONE WHO HAS NEVER HAD A COLICKY/REFLUXY BABY CANNOT POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND HOW CRAP IT IS. IT DOES GET BETTER BUT IS A COMPLETE NIGHTMARE WHEN GOING THROUGH IT.

SENDING YOU HUGS.IT WILL GET BETTER IN THE END

Hi 2babies, My Cranial osteopath didn't charge for babies , only took a donation. I dont think they are normally too expensive for a visit. def worth a try.
I think there's nothing wrong with swings if it works for your baby and to give you some peace.

My children only liked something for a short time so I'd just alternate it. Boob for a bit, bouncy seat for a while, walk in pram, sling, more boob, carry and cuddles, baby gym etc...

Does he like the pram? can you go for walks.?

Its good that your mum can come over later. xxx

My son used to get very upset with wind up until he was about 12 weeks. He's breastfed & would really gulp it down & then fart a lot & writh in pain - similar to colic pains - and go all stiff. I tried most things including a hospital visit, homeopathy and different feeding positions. I have been given something to 'bulk out' his food incase it was reflux (never used as it was a bit like giving him cardboard) and also gaviscon which can take a lot of use before it has any effect (had none). Thankfully he has 'grown out of it' now at 16 weeks. I think it was him getting used to his bowels & digestion working. Maybe this could be the problem? Is the crying worse after feeding?

Just wanted to post to offer my support as well as two thoughts. Firstly definitely take Soupy up on the sling, dd's Coorie sling saved my sanity when she was unputdownable iykwim. It's easy to use and comfy for you and your lo. Secondly I know that you have been finding bf a struggle and if you really want to continue then I would always encourage you to do so but the world will not end if you try your lo with a bottle of formula if only so that you can have a break from him without having the faff of expressing. Somethings are more important than breastmilk and your sanity is one of them imho . Take care and I really truly hope that it gets better for you soon. x

Hugs to you 2B0B. My memories have come flooding back as my ds was bloody awful in the early days - terrible colic and screamed from morning til night unless I could get him to sleep.

I used cranial osteopathy and it worked a treat. It was around £25 for the first session and £20 for every other session. The whole course was four sessions and it made a world of difference to him and me. Not cheap I know but for me it was definitely money well spent.

I am also an advocate of the baby swing. That was the best £100 ever spent at the time. It was the only way he would sleep and it would actually give me some free time and sanity back. You are not supposed to leave them in there for too long but to be honest it never did my ds any harm. If anything it probably benefitted him as he could actually settle in it and get some sleep.

I remember only too well the feelings of wanting to leave and never come back. I did have PND and if you think you are heading down that road again please do get some help. I left it so late to admit how I felt and I know that I should have spoken to someone sooner but just felt I should be able to cope.

Hope today is a better day for you, keep in touch and let us know how you are getting on xxxx

Soupy - you are a lovely person.

2B0B - Hope your ds enjoys the sling.

You have my great sympathy - my dd was a screamer too, due to colic. I struggled to bond with her for the first few months because I just couldn't cope with what felt like her "rejecting" me.

I realise now, of course, that she wasn't rejecting me at all, but in the midst of my post delivery, sleep deprived, hormonal world, it really felt like that.

We also tried cranial osteophathy which worked well, and we used Woodward's gripe water after feeds which eased her tummy really quickly.

2B0B, drop me an email on iamsoupdragon at blueyonder dot co dot uk. I need to check you're average of nork and frame And I'll need your address.

When my baby was born he only started crying (screaming!) after about 2 weeks. I spoke to a pharmacist at Boots who told me her baby had screamed and screamed and she eventually took him to see a cranial oesteopathist. He massaged her baby's head and spine, the baby let out a huge burp and slept for the first time in weeks! She was so impressed she booked her second baby in as soon as he was born.

I took my baby and after the first session he was calmer, there was much MUCH less crying and he slept well. It only took 3 sessions (at about £20 per session) to sort him out and he has slept well and not been a "crier/screamer" ever since. I was so impressed I would definitely recommend it. Some babies that are born by cesaerean (as my baby was) do not have their head and spine "squeezed" in the normal way that they would if they were born naturally, and this can give them meningitis-type headaches. No wonder they cry! Please do try and speak to a qualified cranial oesteopather and perhaps give it a go. Im not saying its a miracle cure, but it may be worth it for your own peace of mind, and to get a bit of rest. Good luck and remember, it WILL get better and it WILL end. Honestly. :-)

Hey 2B0B....totally echo what nminx says about cranial osteopathy. I took DD 2 years ago & am taking DS too....worked / is working a treat...if you can give it a go, do it. Don't abandon us on the Sep thread - we're all there for you

2b0b, how are you feeling today?

I have been thinking of you, I know how rotten it is. If it's any consolation, by 2 have been a bloody nightmare today, and as it's peeing it down, I can't even shove them in the buggy and go for a walk!

Hope you are ok, and remember to email me if you need to, or if you are in desperate need of someone to come and visit!

I'm near you (Berks) and have a swing if you want it hun xx

2b0b - my dd was the same - would settle on the boob then wake up as soon as I put her down and root about for more then wake up again and repeat all day...ended up depressed with very sore boobs and near permanent mastitis
It was reflux and it got better with gaviscon and propping up the end of her cot a bit.
Good luck, hope he's better today.

2Babies0Bumps,
Hi, I'm in Swindon. Usually off on Thursdays and Fridays but gotta go on a training day till 3 tomorrow! Haven't read whole thread, but if there is anything i can do to help, let me know.

Can I just say that you shouldn't pin your hopes on cranial osteopathy. I thought it would help BabyDragon and it didn't. It's not a reason not to try but don't pin your hopes on that or any other thing working like magic. You have to be prepared for some things not to work or it's blimmin miserable if it doesn't.

lunavix. could i borrow your swing or buy it? i looked on ebay, they are so expensive.
am just going to mail soupy with my bust size etc.
has been much better today.