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Original poster

Bollockybollockybollocky HTT

999 replies

EnpoTree · 25/10/2014 17:47

Basically I have to take bloody diazepam three times a day and be visited by HTT every day and even then the nurse reckons it's 50/50 if I'll need to go into hospital or not. This has gone too far. I'm absobloodylutely sodding fine and visited the drop-in as I was worried I was going to become not-fine and wanted to know how to stop DP worrying unnecessarily after having spoken to CMHT as I was referred from GP as I wanted to avoid becoming depressed and how to maintain my current good humour and general sparkling and effervescent nature. The lesson apparently being that being responsible and proactive with your mental health gets you accused of poor insight and told to take drugs on pain of hospital admission.

She's really fucking scared me. I will not go into hospital. So to avoid it I have to swallow pills that make me slow and stupid and sleepy even though I am totally happy with the way I am now and it's everyone else who doesn't like it. Maybe its everyone else who needs bloody medicating.

I hate this so much. I know its a bad idea to get involved in MH services. So why do I ever go back?

OP posts:
Original poster
EnpoTree · 31/10/2014 21:47

"RUN AWAY! RAB C NESBITT IS AFTER ME! WEEGIES, WEEGIES
EVERYWHERE!"

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Original poster
EnpoTree · 31/10/2014 21:48

Grin, trust me, you are missing NOTHING without the drugs.

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Original poster
EnpoTree · 31/10/2014 21:52

I bet Weegiemum gets a jolt from that ad

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Mentalpsychiatrist · 31/10/2014 21:55

Nice time at the gym?

Original poster
EnpoTree · 31/10/2014 21:59

Amazingly, yes! I was dreading it, but about halfway there, walkig past the trick or treaters, with music playing, I felt the clot in my midsection begin to unwind and the energy was freed to wind up to my head - you know how it is?

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Original poster
EnpoTree · 31/10/2014 22:03

I did have to run back to reception to insist someone come and shift all the scattered weights that I couldn't tidy up in the weights room - i racked those I could, and booted the rest to the side, but it was still too cluttered to work out in there. I wish people wouldn't leave heavy weights about. Normally I would just go and work out elsewhere but today i thought "fuckit I shouldn't have to deal with this selfishness" and grabbed the staff member with the biggest muscles to deal with it Grin

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Original poster
EnpoTree · 31/10/2014 22:09

Ii hope I can make my friend (let's call her Mavis) understand that I said what I said to her under the influence of benzodiazepines and that while I was fully responsible for what I said, I wouldn't have chosen to word my disagreement with her worldview in that way if I hadn't been both disinhibited and low in mood due to the malign influence of poisonous pharmaceuticals and that we can still be friends and don't need a man in bed with us to have a good time

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Original poster
EnpoTree · 31/10/2014 22:12

I'm not sure whether smacks has a mental health condition but what I do know is that she hears the voice of God and that with her talent and my intelligence we can work together to incorporate sex and cannabis and Jesus and lovingunderstanding and acceptance of people who are different into a new church whih is different (as I am an atheist) but incorporates those things that are. Helpful from Christianity but with mine and Mavis's insight into art and love

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Original poster
EnpoTree · 31/10/2014 22:13

Smacks?! I mean "Mavis".

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Mentalpsychiatrist · 31/10/2014 22:14

If Mavis is hearing the voice of god she should really get some help.

Original poster
EnpoTree · 31/10/2014 22:14

Also she has my cannabis Sad and I don't know where it is

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Original poster
EnpoTree · 31/10/2014 22:15

Mavis doesn't want help. I would
Like her to get help but when I suggested she had schizophrenic tendencies (classic delusions of symbolism of colours as told to her by God) she became angry

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Original poster
EnpoTree · 31/10/2014 22:17

Mavis says she has been diagnosed with Asperger's so we discuss mental health in those terms.

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Mentalpsychiatrist · 31/10/2014 22:18

I see, skirting politely around the awkward issue!

Original poster
EnpoTree · 31/10/2014 22:19

But I have had so much shit to deal with from Mavis over the last few days - one moment, she was lovely and sweetness and light and calling me beautiful and being nice, and telling me God has sent me as a girlfriend for her, the next I am evil and the worst person in the world and every word that comes out of my mouth is me being nasty and abusing her (it's not, of course). I can't understand her. But we have so much to do together.

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Original poster
EnpoTree · 31/10/2014 22:20

Yes, except that skirting politely is not my forte as, coincidentally, I am waiting to be assessed for an ASD with the local NHS myself at the moment! So she talks a lot about how "my aspergers" (which I'm not at all sure I have) and "her aspergers" (which was diagnosed privately, or so she says), differ.

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Mentalpsychiatrist · 31/10/2014 22:22

Sounds like you have some thrilling conversations Grin

Original poster
EnpoTree · 31/10/2014 22:24

Yes! She once spent three hours telling me about how the colour of my clothes meant I was walking in peace and clothed in an armour of love and held together with patience.

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Original poster
EnpoTree · 31/10/2014 22:28

Actually it's sometimes more boring than thrilling, but it takes her a while to get stoned enough for us to get to the sex part. I don't usually take drugs though.

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Original poster
EnpoTree · 31/10/2014 22:29

This is all a little TMI, isn't it?

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Mentalpsychiatrist · 31/10/2014 22:29

A little....

Original poster
EnpoTree · 31/10/2014 22:29

I promise you I am normally a very sober and sensible person…

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Mentalpsychiatrist · 31/10/2014 22:30

It's better than watching Alan fucking Carr which is what DP has on the TV.

Original poster
EnpoTree · 31/10/2014 22:30

I do apologise.

I shall shut up forthwith Grin

Do you have any pets?

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Mentalpsychiatrist · 31/10/2014 22:31

I have a cat. She's my child substitute.