Autumn days in the village with lots of support for all kinds of MH problems - depression, anxiety, OCD, psychosis etc

[fluffydressinggown]

Shiny new thread. xx

Take the meds Fluffy. I do wonder if them changing them is what's muddling things up here (am I right that they were changed in the recent past?)

God, frankly, is being a git if he thinks it's a super destiny to end it all in a psych hospital.

Thanks pare keema & spidey that's made me feel better about the whole thing. Ur all right of course but I kind of had a massive panic/anxiety thing when the dentist started talking so all my common sense went out the window. I seem to never be able to think logically or even question anyone in professions. It's like I freeze up and start blaming myself for everything ( well the stupid critical voice in my head didn't help)

Take the meds, fluffy.
(Pulled) you aren't a bad Mother, we all miss things like that at the best of times.
I'm really really struggling, I have been having lots of weird thoughts and unsafe impulses. Finding it harder and harder not to act on things. Keep thinking the people aroubd me are psychotic and I'm all shaky and shivery. I think people are talking about me, plotting to get me and absolutely hate me. My dds face turned into a spider earlier,too. I feel as though I've massively screwed up, fallen out with nearly all of my friends and have no one to blame but myself. I'm just spiralling further and further deeper and feel as though I'm heading from somewhere just on the edge of hell.
I'm wanting to end things before I get there. I can't do it again, everyone's had enough of me and I'm not strong enough to do it alone again. I feel like the only person left in the world.
(Collar) I read that you weren't feeling well. Are you Ok? Sorry, trying to follow as best as I can.

Shadow you are strong enough, you beat it once you can do it again.
I bet you're scared and it's natural to want to escape from something you're afraid of but your dd needs you. However bad you feel and no matter what tricks your mind plays you have to stick around and at least try for her sake. She needs you, no one else can replace your mother.
When I feel bad and think about ending it I think about ds and think I want to see him finish school, if I really really want to do it then I should at least hang on till he's old enough to understand and not have it ruin his education.
He's three, I've got to wait 13 years till he's done his gcses.

I am so scared. I'm not even really unwell yet, I can just feel loads of paranoia, obsessions and awful thoughts creeping up on me. I never even shout at dd because she's so beautiful, but on the way home from dance class today, I shouted because she screamed at me over her school bag. Usually I just tell her yo pipe down. I feel as though all of my friends are against me, and everyone's conspiring against me. It's so horrible because it makes me so angry and nasty. I'm such a vindictive and horrible person, I used to be so sweet and lovely, so laid back. I don't even know where, or who I am, anymore. I have valuim, but they won't give me anti physcotics to stop it all. They think I'm making it up, but I'm not. K feel like there's something evil under ny skin making me this way.

Ooh quite a mixture today - I'll try to remember as many as poss - Collardove how did you get on with the GP. I think you were hoping they would increase your meds weren't you? Hope you're ok (or as ok as you can be)

Pulled glad you have stopped panicking about the filling - I think the criticism from the dentist plugged into that "stupid critical voice in your head" and this caused your panic attack. Hope you feel more settled now.

Keema you crack me up - really! Am loving the jokes and such a change on the MH thread but if I was in the depths I probably would be pissed off if I'm honest!

Snowy I didn't understand your post about maths! I wouldn't though would I - something about decimals? Did you see I posted I had dyscalculia (like dyslexia only with numbers) for some reason people think it's a hoot whereas they wouldn't make fun of someone with dyslexia.

Hi Fluffy hope you get nice NAs on the constants......we're all thinking of you and wishing you well x

Hi Victrix spidey thornbird nethuns.........sorry the memory cells are now exhausted (doesn't take much....)

OK - here's my attempt at a joke: (NB - I was brought up as a catholic - this isn't part of the joke btw and spent half my childhood in church but now well lapsed, but this joke was told by my DIL's catholic dad.......)

Parishioner to Priest: Is it all right to have sexual intercourse before receiving holy communion?

Priest: Yes, so long as you don't use the centre aisle.....

Well I try...........
had a good day today having lunch with an old friend and a lovely afternoon in a small village near where I live, on the banks of the River Severn, in glorious autumn sunshine.

I know another good one but think you might have to say it rather than read it for it to be funny but here goes:

A duck waddles into a bar and says to the barman "Got any bread"
"NO!" says the barman.
Duck again: "Got any bread"
"NO" says the barman. "If you ask me again I'll nail your beak to the bar"
Duck: "Got any nails"
Barman: "NO"
Duck: "Got any bread.......??"

Think when you tell it the duck has to ask 3 times.....

I wouldn't make fun of someone with dyslexia or dyscalculia - I wouldn't want to live with either, people shouldn't laugh or take the mick.

Nice jokes NN! I'm glad to hear you had a good day.

Glad you had a good day, Nana. I was thinking of you today and all the stupid stuff I said. I'm sorry about your pm really so so sorry.
If you were the social worker of a single mum with suicidal feelings, severe depression, pain and exhaustion, alongside confusing pyschosis and absolute despair and depress ion, what might you do for her? I haven't seen mine fir three weeks, she didn't even help with court. I won't get angry, I promise. I need support, but I don't know what's out there and available. I'm relying on friends and its getting harder and harder. Again, though, I know you were only trying to help. I am crying writing this.

Thanks about the jokes, it's partly distracting me at the moment. The combo of losing my home and job has the potential to send me over the edge and I'm doing my darnedest to keep it at bay.

I spoke to my care co today and she asked if a short break chez NHS would help to get away from the stress. I declined her kind offer. No desire to go back again his year.

Oh ((( Keema ))) What a rubbish position to be in. I empathise re: not wanting an NHS break, not the most therapeutic place to be.

(Keema)

It helped when I was really poorly earlier this year, but now I really need to be at home to help get it ready for sale. It would only prolong the stuff with work as well, like the sword of Damocles hanging over my head.

Fingers crossed I'll get through this in one piece and with at least my sense of humour intact.

I used to work in mortgages, we used to have a scheme where housing benefit paid the interest on it, and the rest was frozen in circumstances like yours. I don't know if that's helpful or not, but the CAB might be able to help. Don't despair just yet,Keema, there is help out there. Could you look online, if you can face it, at the options you might have mortgage wise?

I think you loveisashadow are incredible strong.

I am doing ok. Earlier experiences of something being something else have lessened.

Keema, forgive me, I just looked it up for you. It's called smi, or support for mortgage interest. If you go on to the gov.UK website, there's an application form. I hope this gives you a little bit of practical help and a bit of hope.

I have started crying and now I can't stop. The past couple of days, my impulses have got a lot stronger to do silly things, it's like I just can't stop. I had to force myself to walk back home, and not somewhere else after I dropped dd off yesterday, it was like my body was telling me to go the other way, it was just aching to do something. Then I got home and just stood in the kitchen with my head against the cupboards, trying not to fall over, for about an hour.

Oh ((( keema ))) so sorry ur having to go through this to me you sound so strong and absolutely hilarious and I have every faith u will come out of this more stronger than ever there I've said it so now u have no choice xxx

shadow just concentrate on the love of ur daughter for u. In my lowest of low moment & when I dissociated completely from the world that was the first feeling to come back to me. I can't quite put it into words but that bond I had between me n DD made me come out of the slumps I was in when I really thought I should be dead. U can do get through this.

Thanku nana I am feeling better now though that could be partly thanks to diazepam glad u had a good day & loved the jokes.

Hope everyone else is having a good evening & & or if u prefer for all (seeing as I'm having some)

Please take your meds fluffy.

The voices don't want what is best for you only themselves. God wouldn't want someone to end their own life--he's just not like that .

I hope everyone has an at least OK night.

DP and I are having we brought back from our holiday in June.

Just a nice, chilled out night in

Keema I couldn't link on my kindle:

www.gov.uk/support-for-mortgage-interest/overview

www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/debt_e/debt_mortgage_problems_ew/debt_how_to_sort_out_your_mortgage_problems_e/help_with_mortgage_costs_if_you_re_out_of_work.htm

I'm having to hide things that I could hurt myself with and today I nearly did something really dangerous on impulse. I had to do something to myself to physcially stop me from doing it.
It's Kat, by the way, Pulled. I just changed my username. I've had all the diapazem I'm allowed. I've been having paranoid delusions.

Can I sidle in, please? Long term problems related to borderline pd have reared an ugly head (again), I'm waiting to see the psychiatrist (again), taking 2 ads and an anti-psychotic (again).

I've lurked but thought I'd post this evening (while I have the energy!).

HI :)

A slightly better day today. Managed to declutter dd's playroom. Thinking about stopping my meds

those are useful links love is. We have had mortgage problems so its useful to know there is help out there.

So sorry people are struggling do much. Keema that must be so hard.

Pulled -please don't feel bad. I felt like the worlds worst parent when my dd had to have a tooth removed under ga!!! She now wont go to the dentist:(

Snowy how was yhe maths today?

pulled I honestly think it depends on your teeth as to whether you need fillings or not - not a lot to do wth dental hygiene

Your boy is so clever spidey you must be so proud

I did change my meds in June yes, still refusing for now, pretty confident they won't make me take them because I am not psychotic so I don't need anti-psychotics

Keep going shadow you can do this

Ahh keema you have so much going on, I agree with decliining admission but if they start to talk about the MHA then say YES!!

Hi weegie I also have a bdp diagnosis, it is a fucker isn't it - good for you for getting help, have you done DBT?

I am seeing my CPN tomorrow. God is talking to me a lot tonight through the TV. Lalala. Nice staff on tonight. Feel shouty and angry and cross.

Oh that's good LeM. I saw on the other thread that you were getting stressed about the house. How many dd's do you have?
Can some-one start me a thread? I'm not feeling at well, think I need some distraction.