Sertraline Buddies - Part 2! Support for all on AD's...

[Chuffchuff]

New thread for when the first one gets full - welcome everyone

Being on AD's shouldn't affect your university application passthewineplz, this is an illness you're being treated for just as if you were diabetic or asthmatic. I had an occ health assessment when I started a new job last year, I declared the AD's and have had no negative feedback at all. It's clear to them that I can do my job, that's all they're concerned about.

Glad you got a reasonable nights sleep verso - it's so hard to know whether any anxiety is caused by illness or by a stressful day ahead that anyone would fret about. One step in front of another, one task at a time. Can you do half an hour then take ten minutes out, then repeat as necessary? I gave up smoking many years ago, but I still nip outside with my smoker colleague just for a break from the screen every couple of hours.

I feel like shit today, mentally and physically, dc's have been sharing a stomach bug brought home from school. I should be at work but am not allowed on site, I am persona non grata for at least 24 hours after my last "episode". What I should be doing is logging on to my account from home and getting on with it, I have loads to get through, but I too am the procrastination queen and really need to take a large spoonful of my own advice^^ Arrrrggghhhh

Iknowright I'm going to take your advice re half hour bursts this morning - and you should too! It's difficult though, isn't it? Let's see if we can get through this morning together. I'm planning to have this bloomin' report drafted and off my desk by 3:30pm. Here goes! (It really helps knowing you're out there, by the way, feeling some of the same things I'm feeling. I'm sorry you have a stomach bug - that's rubbish and I wouldn't wish it on anyone - but I'm pleased in a way not to be alone with the anxiety and procrastination. WE CAN DO THIS! determined face)

Hell yeah
I am so good at faking enthusiasm

I have read emails and made a "must be done today / tomorrow / this week" list. Off now to actually do something :)

You switched something in my head, IKnowRight. Just done an hour and 45 minutes!!! Going to have cup of tea then work through to 1pm. Should be nearly there then... THANK YOU!

Hello!

I'm on sertraline, and I've just started on Quetiapine too. Took my first dose last night and I feel really sedated today :(

I know it will get better, but is there a way of dealing with it in the here and now?

I'm not sure what to advise, mummysparkle, but I can sympathise. It's not easy. I'm having to remind myself to take each day as it comes (something I'm not very good at as I'm a born worrier!!)

IKnowRight thank you so much for the pep talk this morning. I got my report done and sent. Still more work to do on it but you gave me the push to get it to the next stage and off my desk. I never thought I'd make it!

Thanks verso I've perked up a little now, but it's nearly time for my next dose. I have no idea how I'm going to drag myself into work tomorrow :/

I was on here a few weeks back and keep up to date. Seems most people are struggling
I am well into week 6 and feeling worse than I have for a while. Wanted to increase the dose but CPN says wait a bit longer. GP said wait until the talking therapies start and that will help but I have done them all before so not confident.
Started to add some citalopram that I had left to the mix but not really helping either.
Got to the self destruct stage last night and stopped taking them altogether. Due to go back to work next week which I really want to do but want to be better now iyswim and not have weeks and weeks more of this ... Also working is a potential risk as in reality I don't think I am ready much as I love my job and the people I work with.
I have not really been free of this depression for 7 years and feel i never will be. Just want something to work or be allowed to give up ...

I'm on week 2 of 100mg after 5 weeks at 50mg. Feeling 80% better now I'm on 100mg not panicky still having irrational thoughts but few and far between I can rationalise them a bit better now. This is my second time in sertraline and I can say from experiance the first time around that it is an amazing drug. The first few weeks are a nightmare and you will feel as though you are getting worse. I know I did this time around. Carbonel dont just stop please seek advice from ur cpn or doc.

Relieved to read your post this morning, teawomen. I have been feeling slightly better from time to time - half hours here and there where the "fear" has faded quite substantially, and I slept again last night from 9pm to 5am, which is amazing. But then with work? Aaargh. I have a total "trigger" - opening emails from my boss. I had two very difficult bosses over the past five years. I've always struggled a bit with fear of authority, but have worked around it and ended up (ironically?) in a very senior role myself. But having these two bosses (borderline bullying in both cases) has really really knocked my confidence and my ability to control my anxiety.

Long story short I told the company I would leave last year if I couldn't be redeployed somehow - and they gave me a better job, in a different part of the organisation. I now have a LOVELY boss - but still have THE FEAR when I am working closely with him and getting feedback. It's been 100% positive and constructive - I've been working with him for eight months now - but still, my anxiety levels skyrocket when I see a message from him.

So to today - I thought I was feeling a lot better. But ever since opening my email (I did it at home so I had my DH there for moral support) I've been agitated and scared again. There's no reason for this!

It was good to read your post. I assume this is biochemical - and it will start to balance out if I persevere. Maybe it means it's working? I will call my GP though I think just to be reassured and feel I'm looking after myself/taking responsibility.

GP isn't available until tomorrow :(

I've asked the duty doctor to call me back. I feel so so much worse - it's horrible!

You couldn't make it up. The duty doctor called me - but I was in a meeting - I ran out of the meeting to speak to her briefly but lost the signal then couldn't get back through to the surgery. Next available slot to phone them is 3:30-4pm this afternoon. I'm in a meeting then.

Really wish I hadn't started taking the tablets now. I feel absolutely awful - panicky and weepy and a complete mess. How am I supposed to function at work feeling like this???!!

...and then a calm descended. Very odd (but i'm not complaining).

(I'll stop hogging the thread now!!)

Verso. How long have u been on them? I promise if they r the ones for you when they work they will be amazing. I took my dd and my nephew to play group today on my own and never once thought about me ten weeks ago. No way would I have had them in the house together. However work is a different kettle of fish. I'm ok now but was hard hope ur ok.

I've only been on them 11 days so far - since 9th March. Today's my 12th day. I feel a bit better today - more balanced - despite having two very stressful meetings this morning - one at 8am followed by another at 9am. So maybe they have started to work? It was the intensity of the anxiety that was a bit overwhelming and unexpected yesterday. One day at a time!

Finally gave in and talked to my CPN - she was not happy about me messing around with the meds but we have agreed I will go back on 100mg and she will review with a view to increasing it next week when I see her. Worked out this is all because I can't face letting work down having told them I will be back on Monday so trying to make myself so ill again that someone else took the decision.

She spoke to doc who has agreed to a phased return so at least I get to go back on Monday but only for half days.
Hasn't helped that I have been laid low last few days with flu altho CPN said it could be withdrawal symptoms.
Just wish there was a magic wand to make things better ...

passthewineplz, I feel like im in a 'fog' all of the time, glad to know ita not just me

Just come across www.bandbacktogether.com/adult-children-of-Narcissistic-parents-resources/
suddenly everything makes sense. Life is going to get fun as I start to set boundaries for NM but at least I know why I am like this. Actually woke up this morning feeling happy.

Really rough again today :(

I had a night in York at the weekend with an old school friend, which was lovely but also meant I didn't get any "pootling about" time - and it also triggered some of my old anxieties and insecurities from years ago.

Wondering if I did the right thing in starting these tablets. Just feel so so low and anxious. Ugh. I'm getting through one hour at a time. I have eight working days to go until I have some holiday booked, so I'm trying to focus on the fact there's an end in sight.

Work is just so so so stressful. Just been through a huge reorganisation and restructure - and coming out the end of it - but been told the company is now merging... and one of my key staff has handed in her notice.

Hi All, back on after a few days off. Feeling much better but sorry to hear you are having a tough time Verso. Keep with it because it will start to work. For me it was Day 19 when I suddenly felt 'normal' again. Although I know the panic is underneath it all so I'm keeping on them (100mg now) until I know that I am out of the woods.

Carbonel - thank you for that link. I have an NM and have done a lot of research into NPD. Best thing you can do is to build an invisible wall between you and her. You have to put a distance between you, so don't call as often as you have done etc. My mum now has dementia and it is amazing how that has removed a lot of her unkindness although it does bubble up occasionally (eg her vanity and thinking she is special). Narcissism masks huge insecurity so you have to feel sorry for her. Deep inside she knows she isn't that great.

Thanks, sadmumma. Nearly made it through the day - which was an achievement! This is day 14 for me, so maybe it's about to start working? I can't go up to the 100mg like I'm supposed to though as I'll run out of tablets. Our GP system is rubbish - the GP said I should just phone to let him know how I'm getting on - but it depends what day he's on and whether you can even get through at the right time of day (my own diary/meetings notwithstanding!).

Anyway - I'll do another week of 50mg. I've booked in for next Monday evening (had to book it last week) - different doctor but the only evening appt available .

Verso think it was about day 16 for me where I first saw any real improvement so please hang in there. Can you do a repeat prescription request so you can go up to 100mg before you see the doctor?
Sadmumma not nice having NM but great to hear it is not just me. She lives next door and I rarely initiate contact as she does first but I am definitely going to be much stronger about boundaries. Another key thing is to protect ds from her; dd knows just how she us and takes no nonsense - shame in one so young (13) but stops her being affected.
First day back at work today after 6 weeks off. Great to be back but thankful doc said mornings only - came home at 3pm and slept til 6pm! Greatest respect to those of you struggling with the early days of meds and still working.
Hope everyone else is coping passthewineplz mummysparkle iknowright and anyone I have forgotten

My DH managed to get me an appointment by phoning the surgery for me this morning at 8am. (We have the system where you have to repeat-phone until you get through on the day and I'm on the train at that time. There are only a very limited number of advance appointments available online and not very often for the particular GP you want to see .)

I'm going to ask for a repeat, and discuss the upping to 100mg - which I could start this evening if I get enough tablets. I'll also mention the serious anxiety blocks of time I seem to be getting - and the sleep (or lack of it). I started out with it helping my sleep - which was brilliant, because I know sleep and anxiety and depression are really interconnected for me (and most people I expect) However I'm back to waking up at 3am and not being able to get back to sleep

I do feel quite centred and balanced today, which is more like "me" - so maybe it's starting to work? I've got a crazy schedule again today but I feel ok about it. It's not overwhelming me - at the moment, anyway.

Into 5th week of 100mg dose and each day the past week has been progressively worse. Thoughts of not wanting to live are creeping in :(

Why isn't the medication helping?! :(