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"Summer is Coming, the Village is warm and safe - support for depression, anxiety and other MH issues"

996 replies

LollipopViolet · 18/05/2014 12:27

New thread, everyone :) First attempt at a thread title for us.

I've just posted on the old one, am really struggling today. Was feeling numb, still do, to be honest. Need to get myself through today.

OP posts:
ColouringInQueen · 19/06/2014 11:50

lem is on citalopram... I'm on fluoxetine and have very vivid dreams which I think is a common side effect of many ADs if that's any help!

((hugs)) back to you collar. It's hard when its so up and down isn't it? Hope you feel better for a sleep. Well I have done no painting, but have got a step nearer to finding a printer so that's something I guess. Need to cook tonights dinner now as its always busy after school today. Think I need to go to Costa and treat myself to a coffee in an attempt to get painting. Think we might be having a late dinner today... take care all x

SnowyMouse · 19/06/2014 12:18

(((( all ))))

Collardove · 19/06/2014 17:17

((((Snowy))))

Have been worried not to have seen you post for what seems an eternity!

Sorry you are obviously not in a good place at all :(

Thinking of you :) x

LEMmingaround · 19/06/2014 17:24

Hi victrix yes the vivid dreams with the citalopram are somthing else aren't they??!! The other day I dreamt everyone I knew was a zombie and I couldn't tell who was ok and who wasn't. They are often entertaining but sometimes distressing.

I am very up and down. Heard nothing from dr and now having issues with dds school. I don't have the energy for any of it.

nethunsreject · 19/06/2014 21:43

Hi all, sorry so many of us are tired and having a crap day. Collar, yeah it's hard to know what to do re work. Would you be ok to go off again if it's too much? I'm lucky in that I can mainly work from home and at my own pace so though it's been hard, it hasn't been like I've had to show up at a certain time and look cheerful! I could just about do that now, but not a month ago.
Snowy, hope you're ok xx Sad.
Nana, how's things?
Lem, pyrr, vic, everyone, how's your evening?
Oh, yeah re weird panic dreams, they seem to be a common side effect. Mine have subsided a little but definitely busy and unsettling at times.

We're going away for a week soon. Dreading it. There's no Internet access there, little phone reception too. Also just the sheer practicalities of packing, getting there etc is all too much. Sad.

ColouringInQueen · 19/06/2014 22:11

Hi everyone
hi nethuns glad you're managing to work from home - it does help doesn't it. Can understand how you feel about going away, packing is no fun at the best of times. What could you take with you that's for you, to escape with. Do you enjoy reading and/or music/anything crafty that you can escape to?

lem are you waiting for another appointment with Doc? I can well imagine that dd school stuff feels just too much. Are you able to do something for you tomorrow, whether its a walk, ice cream by the seaside, afternoon film at the cinema?

oh snowy sorry to hear things are not good today. Have you seen your cpn this week? Really hope your Friday is a bit better.

collar hope you felt better for a sleep. When are you due back to work? Is it full or part-time? If F/T maybe you could arrange to go back part time to start with?

Well I did manage to get painting at 12, and have managed to finish it ducking in and out this evening so that's something. Dh tried to have a conversation tonight. All I can think is I can't do this anymore Sad

NanaNina · 19/06/2014 23:54

Hello one and all......I scrolled back tonight to the beginning of this thread as I know a lot of new people joined, but I think a lot have fallen by the wayside, so to speak. The point of doing it was so I could be more aware of people's specific difficulties etc., as I honestly can't remember details of people other than a few from the older threads.

Silvery your IP stay seems to be playing on your mind a bit, and I'm not surprised really as any IP stay is traumatic and it sounds like your manic episode almost came "out of the blue" - I don't know how long ago your last IP stay was - mine was in 2010 and they were certainly not short staffed, quite the reverse. The staff nurses stayed in the office except when dishing out meds and the nursing assistants sat with the patients, but talked to each other, over our heads or around us - and constantly complained of being bored and talking about how much they had to do at home etc. The only time they ever talked to us was if we were well enough for general chit chat about their kids/weddings etc. There was just no interest in the patients at all. Dreadful really.

Ah now I'm struggling to remember other's details.........Pyrrh I really hope you don't mind my saying this but your DH does sound like he is very unkind to you at times. Does this bother you, or do you just maybe post about the negative things, and there are positives - I do hope so, because you sound such a lovely person and you (as we all do) deserve to be treated with kindness.

Hmm I'm on about kindness but someone mentioned anger and yes I can get angry, much much more often now since my relapse 5 years ago. I'm like a firework sometimes - once the blue touch paper is lit - I'm away and DP attempts to "bring me down" don't work very well.

Ah collardove I think you are going back to work this week? If so hope things are ok for you, as it was an issue at work that was the cause of your current MH difficulties wasn't it.....

CIQ Have you thought any more about counselling as things are certainly not getting any better for you and DH are they - in fact it sounds like they are a lot worse. Don't you think you ought to "give it a go" although I know you are having counselling yourself aren't you, so would that confuse the issue. Can you picture yourself separated from DH I wonder. Sorry if that's a bit intrusive.

Lem not sure where you are with the lump needing to be re-assessed and I think you're waiting to hear from the GP? You've been sounding a bit flat of late and I think you've said you're feeling overwhelmed and I know you have been having anxiety problems and back on diazepam.

Snowy - what does "in a state" mean - I'm glad to see you posted though as you were one of the reasons I came on tonight to see if you had put in an appearance. Are you still struggling with side effects of the meds and maybe depression. Are you still having therapy with the CPN. I do worry about you and wish there was more I could do to help. You have such a generous spirit and are so stoical about your own difficulties.

Nethun victrix sorry can't remember your details.

I am progressing through my meds change and am on 100mg sertraline and 50mg imipramine and have to reduce the imipramine to 25mg over the next 2 weeks and then a review again. This week has been more or less ok with just a few wonky mornings, when I've felt flat and miserable but lifted after a couple of hours. I don't want to get my hopes up though - I've had too many false dawns.

Sorry if I've missed anyone

ColouringInQueen · 20/06/2014 12:11

Hi Nana well that's a brilliant post! Really glad to hear that this week has been better than last, tho completely understand that you don't want to jinx it.

Interestingly enough dh booked our first session with Relate today - 1 July - the day after my birthday! I am feeling very flat today - some depressive symptoms rearing their head again I think as a result of what's going on. But I am not panicking, and trying to be a bit kinder to myself. Don't really want to talk to anyone at the moment - its not just dh.... Hmm

Well one kids sports day done, another this pm. Fortunately I can get away with wearing sunglasses so can hide behind those a bit.

Hi everyone else, hope your Friday's ok.

Collardove · 20/06/2014 13:58

NanaNina - glad you are ticking along :)

CIQ - when mine were at infant and junior school they had a mums and a dad's race! Do they still do that? I used to dread taking part, but I was a good sprinter in my day... Ha!

Well my anxiety levels have reached new highs today! Am going back to work on Sunday, and have been invited to a colleagues leaving do this evening - which in a good moment a few days ago said yes to.

But honestly this really is a take a day at a time illness isn't it....

Have not eaten yesterday or today, my body feels like an sand egg timer turning one way, then upside down to start again! Though I am determined (at the moment) not to pull out. It's just seeing everyone...

Hope everyone else is ok today :) Snowy - hugs x

SnowyMouse · 20/06/2014 15:06

CPN has kyboshed the therapy for the time being, the voices were causing problems. A vital piece of equipment of mine has been taken away to be fixed (if they can). I am feeling desperate. CPN comes early next week.

SnowyMouse · 20/06/2014 18:40

Sad Sorry, I'm being self indulgent. Sad

ColouringInQueen · 20/06/2014 18:43

snowy (((hugs))) that sounds rubbish. And not remotely self-indulgent. Hope you get your kit back soon. Do you have any plans to help you get through the weekend?

SnowyMouse · 20/06/2014 19:22

Family are coming down on Sunday, I'm limited as I can't go out at the moment Hmm I suppose I'll have to keep trying distractions/music etc.

ColouringInQueen · 20/06/2014 19:38

Oh that's tricky if you can't go out. Could you try learning something crafty via youtube vids or something (random idea, feel free to ignore!) Glad your family are coming down on Sunday though.

I have a v busy day tomorrow, with big church event, am hoping anxiety reduces after that.

NanaNina · 20/06/2014 19:38

Good to hear that you have your first session at Relate booked CIQ - it won't be easy but it might be helpful. Being kind to yourself sounds like a good plan.

Collardove - yep it certainly is a "take one day at a time" sort of illness and makes planning impossible really. Is it the anxiety that is stopping you eating - doesn't sound good not to have eaten for 2 days. Hope this evening goes well.

Snowy you are absolutely not being self-indulgent - you are the one person on this thread who never moans/complains so no more apologising. I am assuming it is your chair that needs mending (again?) as I seem to remember it needed repair not so long ago. Glad you are seeing family on Sunday. And yes to distractions/music as that usually helps when the voices are troubling you.

SnowyMouse · 20/06/2014 19:42

That's right NN, it hasn't been right since before Christmas Sad

Thanks all (((( all )))))

I hope your big church event goes well CIQ

ColouringInQueen · 20/06/2014 19:48

Thanks snowy

yes nana I am really hoping its helpful. The stress of the situation has really boosted my anxiety this week, which in term wakes up the depression - have not felt well today. Walking to kids school imagining myself stepping in front of a car Hmm I know I wouldn't but the images are distressing and hard to erase. Dh was kind though when I got in from school with the dcs, and has bought me some flowers which is nice.

Victrix · 20/06/2014 22:30

Starting to get used to this waking up at 3am malarkey...sigh.

Today it was the baby blackbirds in the garden that made the racket.

Have deleted all my emails and chucked out loads of clothes.

LollipopViolet · 20/06/2014 22:38

I am still about, have been OK. Saw some friends on Wednesday night, and today got invited for a telephone interview for a job I'd really quite like :)

OP posts:
TheSilveryPussycat · 21/06/2014 10:47

Couple of weepy days, as NN says being an IP again hit me quite hard, thought with departure of Ex my mh was ok again - and it was until the hypomania appeared out of the blue! Was finally up to speed with life, sending Mother's Day pressie, Easter card to DM, belated thank-you letter to DB and visited some friends I'd lost touch with. Seems that doing what is normal for most was too much for me Sad

Am OKish today - though "feeling" the meds constantly - don't have many words of support, but sending thoughts of support instead.

NanaNina · 21/06/2014 15:01

Oh sorry you've not been so good silvery - me neither. Well was doing well on the meds change till today and CRAP today, though still in middle of the change over. It's my great niece's 30th birthday party tonight and I was looking forward to going, but no chance now. Am worn out with 2 long crying bouts and there's no sun to sit in.......

I think the thing is with mental illness is that it has a marked tendency to recur and "bite us on the bum" when we're not looking (or something like that) When you say hypomania do you mean what they now call a "manic episode" - I think you said the medics are thinking bipolar but that you didn't think so? What sort of side effects are you getting on the meds?

Hope everyone else is having a better day, or at least making the most of a crap day, difficult as that is I know. I need to find some distraction - can't read, probably do my "adult colouring" which does distract me to some extent.

Yes me too sending thoughts of support - that's a lovely idea silvery

TheSilveryPussycat · 21/06/2014 15:36

It's very like mania - hypo is from the Greek for "under" - sort of mania-lite. Doing too many things simultaneously and ineffectually, pressured speech ie v v fast, making lots of phone calls, then in the episodes I've had it has felt like dreaming while awake.

In the last 2 instances, followed a period of prolonged work ((a) on divorce, and this last one (b) on a project) - and it was when a) the divorce settlement was agreed b) I had stopped work on project to concentrate on life. I suspect long term sleep deprivation in both cases, (a) more than (b)

With (a) I was in for 5 days, and managed to explain that ward was making me worse. With (b) it co-incided with Easter (so 4 days no psychs) then May Bank Holiday. No-one seemed to get that noise of radio was making me worse. In for 3 weeks, still quick but still.

I should be working on garden, but it all feels too overwheming and pointless. This will likely change if I do get started.

SnowyMouse · 21/06/2014 18:57

How was your event, CIQ?

Katkins1 · 21/06/2014 21:51

Hey everyone :) I hope you don't mind me joining, LeM suggested that I did because I'm having a bit of crisis and have started have hallucinations and hearing voices- for the first time ever. I've got 20mg Prozac, and a physc referral. Absolutely terrified. Hope you don't mind me posting.

Victrix · 21/06/2014 21:53

As a balance to finally dealing with the hoarding behaviour, looks like the old disordered eating patterns are coming back.

Bugger.