"Summer is Coming, the Village is warm and safe - support for depression, anxiety and other MH issues"

[LollipopViolet]

New thread, everyone :) First attempt at a thread title for us.

I've just posted on the old one, am really struggling today. Was feeling numb, still do, to be honest. Need to get myself through today.

At least you provided dinner, nethunsreject I'm glad you had a good meeting, Lollipop I'm struggling. A dog sounds like a plan, collardove

Snowy - I hope that the promised sunshine for the next couple of days will lift your spirits :) xx

Just checking in. Busy week. Busy is good. Manic not so much! Gtreat namechange pyrhh x

Thanks collardove, so do I. I have to wait in today for engineers. I hope you're busy rather than manic, LEM I am very tired, but need to stay awake.

Just popping in to say good morning everyone, and hope that the sun is shining where you are - is here which helps.

Just about to go out for coffee with a friend who I've told about things with dh. Had interesting chat and read with dh about aspergers last night. He definitely has some of the traits - scored 36 in an online test. Not entirely convinced that's what it is, but clicks completely re: social chit chat, not reading emotions, not expressing emotions, intellectual intensity.... who knows! Not really looking for a label and tbh would prefer to have more confidence that he is able to change some of these parts of his personality - not sure about another 20 yrs of this. But I am feeling calmer and less weighed down for giving myself permission to detach from him a bit.

lem hope its good busy!
collar does the sun help you - it does me usually
snowy hope you don't have to wait in too long for engineers. Any chance of getting some sun?

I might get some sun after the engineers, good plan.

How's everyone doing?

Well I am having one of those 'I am an absolute shit parent' day. Just can't forgive myself. So, so wish I could go back in time. But I would probably do the same thing again. Plodding on through the errands for the day though.

Hope you had a good day, Snowy.

Sorry you're having a bad day, yegodsandlittlefishes I hope tomorrow is better for you.

I'm surviving.

Well I have kept busy with lots of jobs in the garden that I have been avoiding for weeks....

CIQ - yes I find a bit of sunshine any time of year makes me slightly more cheery. Except today doing all the pesky jobs in the beating sun, when I would rather of been 'thinking' about them from the comfort of my sunbed, as I have been for the last 6 weeks!

What did you do Snowy after the engineer left? Did you get outside for a bit of sun?

Hope everyone else has managed to get by ok today:) x

I had a short walk, v warm though.

Am feeling much improved - a sunny day at last, and instead of feeling daunted by the garden, am actually enjoying renovating the border.

I feel as if a process is being completed, following my IP stay. After all, my life has rearranged itself drastically for the better over the last couple of years. So much so that extra stresses were too much to cope with.

Hello folks - an awful day here - had a massive anxiety attack this morning and was thumping the mattress and the window and pulling my hair, and making a lot of noise. I could see DP was worried and that scared me even more. He phoned my CPN and I talked to her on the phone - she offered to come out but I said it was ok, as I didn't even want her to see me, the mess I was in. I am pretty sure it is related to the change in meds, but CPN was saying "it's just a bad day" and I think she's saying that because she's worried I might stop the new meds and I won't do that.

I did get to lie on my lounger in the garden in the sun, most of the afternoon, even though suicidal thoughts were skimming through my head.

Pyrhh thank you for your kind words about the MNetter that upset me. I thought I was beyond getting upset about this sort of thing but my MH is so fragile just now I think I'm hypersensitive. I hope you got the day to spend with DD and the move goes ahead - it is beyond me how you can cope with such a huge thing, but I'm sure you will. Sorry I'm not making a lot of sense.

CIQ I think all (or most) men have a touch of AS - I'm pretty sure my DP has.....and other men of my acquaintance.

Yegods sorry I don't know your backstory - I'll scroll back and have a look when I am feeling less crap.

Well done on getting the gardening jobs done Collardove

Snowy hope you're ok (ish) though I know you're struggling. Have you had anything nice to eat today. I've eaten crap, biscuits (rich tea) cream crackers and dairylea, a choc ice, some grapes and a banana - can't face proper food.

All for now - sending warm wishes to you all

Hola!

Been catching up with what I've missed while without internet (DP and I made a pact not to ask for the wifi password in our hotel), sorry to see the bad days but nice to see the good ones

Holiday was nice but tough, a few good days and a few low points but only two properly bad days. Managed two excursions but was up all night the night before the first one as I managed to get so stressed/panicky I was throwing up for hours from about 2am.

Other bad day was the day after that trip, just needed to spend the whole day hiding to let myself come back down but luckily we had a small cabin type apartment with a private patio so we could still enjoy our sun.

Also spent quite some time smuggling food out of the dining room for a friendly stray cat - I was missing my cat but she's not moved from my side since we picked her up from the cattery this morning so I'm enjoying kitty cuddles

Am now running on about 4 hours of sleep over 48 hours, so am away for a bath and then bed.

Today has been weird. I know it's my hormones because I had awful stomach cramps earlier this morning, but I just feel sad :(

Nearly broke down watching the D Day stuff on the news, reminded me of my granddad and how he always used to tell me stories from when he was a child in WW2, and about his time in the Army.

Also, Fathers Day this year can go away, it really, really can. I don't want to deal with it, I want to stick my head in the sand and wait for it to blow over. My friend who lost her dad was right, the "firsts" are rubbish :(

OK, happier things: I was in a picture in our local paper, to do with National Volunteer Week and the celebrations we had at the centre I volunteer at :) And I lost half a pound on Wednesday, so that's good.

(((( silvery )))) Sorry I didn't see this sooner, it's great to see you!

I'm sorry things are so rough, NN I hope the weekend is better for you, and you manage some proper food.

I hope you are refreshed from your holiday, Victrix (I'm sure holidays can be stressful because of the change).

(((( LollipopViolet )))) It's always hard when we're reminded of those we've lost

Right, OK, I'm getting somewhere.

Had an hour or so tonight where I was tearful, down and upset (time of the month has just started so I KNOW it's hormones going mad!) all because my lovely friend text me announcing her 2nd pregnancy.

I am over the moon for her, her DS is absolutely lovely and she's a great friend and a fab mum. But, it got me thinking about how much I want a family, and to leave the family home and be all independent, and how I'm a couple of years away from that because I'm re-training and currently not working.

Anyway, I sat and went through all the good things in my life, and I've realised that actually, I might still be upset if I had the house, the partner, the children and the job. I'm 24, I've got aaaaaaages to have a family and find someone, and if I don't find someone, there's fostering and adoption.

I realised (this will give me away, or at least the charity support group I use) feelings aren't always facts.

I am actually a lot happier now. I did it, I got through a low point using the new tools I'm learning. I should be proud of that, shouldn't I?

Lollipop that sounds like real progress - I think something like the mental sorting that you describe is what put me into overload, because in the time since I was discharged I seem to be putting my life into perspective. I've only been divorced for 2 years following a marriage that lasted decades, and although lots of good things have happened, even good things can put a stress on a person.

You have a lovely lifetime ahead of you :)

Yes, you should be proud LV!

How's everyone doing today?

Still hormonal, but OK :) I've started using a tracker app so that hopefully I'll get some advance warning of when I'm next due on, and thus when to expect the sad/weepy feelings.

At least then if I have any off days in between I know it's not hormones!

I have been asleep

Looking forward to watching the grand prix later.

Hello everyone. I feel a bit of a traitor as I've been posting on the Sertraline thread, as I am just coming to the end of my first week on it. The village seems very quiet - maybe it's because it's the weekend.

Victrix you are very brave to go on holiday to foreign parts. I am too scared to book a holiday in case I am crap and then it wouldn't be much fun for DP and I am a bit (well a lot) phobic about anyone seeing me when I am an emotional wreck. I love holidays in warm places too and now that we're retired we could go anytime, but for my fluctuations. We go to Ireland regularly as I have a son, dil and grandchildren there, but I always get really anxious about going but am usually ok once I'm there.

So glad you're feeling better silvery - take it steady and give yourself time to recuperate.

How are you snowy Hope that CPN finally turns up next week.

I've had a quiet weekend after my mega anxiety attack on Friday, did some gardening yesterday (I don't enjoy it - it's like housework outside as far as I'm concerned) it's mostly paved, but I pulled up a few weeds and cut a few shrubs back (well hacked) is probably a better description.
Made cakes today for my sister's birthday.

Hello to everyone else x

I hope tracking helps, LV Enjoy the grand prix, Victrix Well done on getting things done, NN!

My head monster is back :( anxious. Tired. Being shitty and resentful with dd. Dp has the hump with me.

(((( LEM )))) I'm telling your headmonster to get lost!