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"putting the SPRING back in our step - village support for depression and anxiety"

999 replies

LEMmingaround · 03/03/2014 21:29

Heres the new thread guys. What is this, thread 9?

This is a thread that is situated in a virtual village of support for those suffering from mental health issues, or just those struggling with what life throws at them.

Please feel free to join in.

OP posts:
Mentalpsychiatrist · 27/04/2014 22:00

Hi BatWings. Make sure you see San Francisco and get out to Napa or Sonoma for wine. LA is not my thing.

ThatVikRinA22 · 27/04/2014 22:12

thanks nana and swoop

i dont feel im in the wrong job - just with the wrong people while trying to do it.
we dont have a union in the police - just a federation. not really wanting to go that route anyway.

we are already going down the disability discrimination line with regards ds - i have another thread. it is wearing though and mentally draining me.

hi to everyone else.

Victrix · 27/04/2014 22:24

Hi everyone, I'd like to join the thread if that's ok?

Feel a bit silly today as I felt absolutely petrified in Dobbies of all places, didn't want to go out but I needed to get my mum a birthday present.

TheUnemployableLeech · 28/04/2014 09:11

Morning everyone. I've just put the DS in front of the tv for two hours and went back to bed. Now I feel awfully guilty :( it was a fight to get out again, I just felt like a lump of lead. Have crawled to the kitchen and eaten a bowl of crisps and had some tea. Debating a second bowl now. Although I don't want DH to realise how much I've eaten Blush but it seems like an awful hassle to buy a new pack and hide it so I can top up the pack we have in the cupboard. I have a craving for salt though :(

vicar that really sounds an awful group you have. I hope you manage to get a transfer to another group ASAP.

lem hope you're doing ok! sounds like you have an awful lot on your plate at the moment. Please don't be doing any self surgery...wait for your appointment!

snowy have they sorted your chair yet?

Glad to hear you got away nn your family must have been pleased you could make it.

Where are you dd? How are the appointments going? Let us know now you are xx

Good to hear you had a good time in the garden (I'm jealous, would love a garden some day) and out with friends ciq

Hello to all the newcomers and anyone I've missed, can't keep track sorry!

Swoopdewoop · 28/04/2014 09:40

Hi victrix I'm new to this thread as well. Feels good to have somewhere to dump thoughts. Well done for getting your mum's present.

Lem i took your advice and decided to have a glass of wine. I enjoyed it. The problem is my partner likes a drink too much. He can easily put away a few bottles of beer and a bottle and a half a night. We've talked about it and he agrees it's a problem and has been trying to cut down. Last night he was having some beer and I went to bed so tired. I made him promise not to drink the wine and he still did. I could smell it through the night but told myself I was jumping to conclusions. But the empty bottle is there this morning.

I'm angry with him. He knows I'm struggling yet he's still in bed (off work atm). I slept in and almost made ds1 late for school. I think I'm really worried because I'm thinking we can't be good for each other if we can't support each other. I just want to crawl back to bed. The fog this time is really sticking around. I'm worried. And sad. I miss my parents. They died 20 years ago. I wish someone could look after me.

TheUnemployableLeech · 28/04/2014 10:57

Oh swoop I hope your day improves. You must have needed the sleep and although DS was almost late, I take it to mean he wasn't, so don't beat yourself up about it. I rarely drink, but when I do DH doesn't finish off my wine as he prefers red! I can't offer much constructive comments about your situation I'm afraid, but could you think of getting in only half bottles (? I mean e.g. The 25cl ones) so if you do have a glass there isn't a bottle left for him to drink, max. a glass.

Nothing like threads on here to make you think about what an awful person you are. Just been reading the personal strengths and weaknesses one on chat... I have no strengths, only weaknesses and I try to ignore the fact that I'm a horrible person as much as I can but now it's hit home again. That lonely half drunk bottle in the fridge is looking appetising....but I know I shouldn't as I have the DC to look after.

Oh and DS has just been assigned a place at an utter sink kindergarten for the next year, they don't even have a playground :( I've just broken into a bag of Easter eggs...

NanaNina · 28/04/2014 13:06

I'm really bad at remembering everyone (especially newcomers) and their particular type of mental illness. Did want to ask Appletini if you have tried the EMDR therapy for PTSD. I know you have a good therapist but I thought it might be worth a look (you'd need to google as I forget what the initials are (something to do with eye movement) and many MNs on here have spoken about this therapy for past trauma leading to PTSD in glowing terms. Apparently you don't have to go through everything from the past, but that's about all I know. Just thought it might be worth a look.

TUL oh I know that feeling of wanting to stay under the duvet and having to have the most enormous amount of will power to force yourself out. For me, the emotional pain of depression is slightly more bearable if I am under the duvet. I think it's a natural thing to be honest, to withdraw when we feel ill, it's what animals do isn't it. I'm talking domestic animals (not sure about wild ones) cats often go off somewhere other than their home territory to die and the last cat I had was trying to squeeze himself into the smallest spaces head first when he was close to dying.

Also why are you going on these chat things about strengths and weaknesses as you are saying you are a horrible person which isn't true. I know I don't know you, but I don't believe anyone is really just horrid. I know people sometimes do horrible things but there is a reason behind it. I think I would stay off these things if I were you. Comfort eating is better than comfort drinking, especially when you have the children to look after, as you say. Also self medicating with alcohol is not a good idea which I'm sure you know already. Sorry I hope I'm not sounding like I'm "telling you off" .......

Welcome Vitrix - what is Dobbies ?? A shop - do you want to say some more about your mental health. You don't have to, it's just it helps sometimes.

Swoop so sorry the fog isn't lifting - sorry I can't remember - are you on ADs - if so what/how long/what dose........they may need changing. Are you "up and down" as this is so often the case with mental health. It's a torment - no other word for it and no-one can understand unless they've experienced it themselves.

Agree your DH is drinking far too much - how does it affect him /his behaviour to you and others. My DP used to drink too much and he would become oppositional and talk a load of rubbish and sometimes become a bit verbally aggressive and I hated him when he had drunk too much. He very occasionally does this now but it is very rare. Not sure why he changed his drinking habits - I suspect it was after an MOT at our GP surgery they did for everyone, and he must have been honest about his alcohol intake. Also last year we lost 2 friends - one from cancer of the liver and the other cirrhosis of the liver (both big cider drinkers) Thing is no-one can prevent someone else from drinking too much - the motivation has to come from within themselves. However you can change your behaviour towards him about the drinking or anything else for that matter. It's surprising how often this can bring about change in another.

Hi Lem - has the anxiety subsided a tiny bit - assume it will stay till after the appointment which you should be getting through soon.
DD are you ok - you've not been on the thread for a while.
Snowy how are you today - any news on the chair - does that make things more difficult for you as you presumably "flatbound" without the chair.
Sorry I can't remember everyone else.

SnowyMouse · 28/04/2014 16:05

I've got a loan chair, they swapped it with mine today. It sort of fits, much better than nothing. Hope I get mine back soon, not sure if this one will fit on the buses.

I hope the aripiprazole helps you get through things, no hypomania MP

Welcome, Victrix

I hope you can switch teams or something, vicar - thinking of your DS too.

(((( TUL )))) (((( Swoop )))) ((((LEM )))) (((( NN )))) (((( vicar )))) (((( Mp )))) (((( CIQ )))) (((( Victrix )))) (((( anyone I've missed ))))

BatWings · 28/04/2014 18:06

Good evening everyone, hope everyone had a good day xxx.
I had a completely panic free day - start of term so no moment to contemplate panicking. Anyone else have these moments?

SnowyMouse · 28/04/2014 18:16

(((( BatWings ))))

LEMmingaround · 28/04/2014 18:24

Sorry cant keep up wth thread. Im not coping at all :( had one diazepam today but trying to eke them out as was only given 15. I nwed another but dont want to run out. Just shouted at dd. I hate myself if ive got cancer its a punishment I know this
But why did god punish my daughter she hasnt done anything wrong . I am evil

OP posts:
Swoopdewoop · 28/04/2014 18:28

Hi everyone, thank you for your kind words. Thanks NN for the story re your dh's drinking - reassuring. My dp has explored his reasons for drinking so much and says he just loves the feeling of being drunk. But he is aware and isn't doing any secret drinking so I have reason to believe he may follow your dh's path. To answer your question, yes, I'm on sertraline since October and am very up and down. Doc has offered me talking therapies which I have to find the energy to phone and arrange. Not sure how long I'll have to wait.

I'm thinking about emailing my nearest and dearest to tell them what's going on in my life - what do you all think? It's exhausting pretending everything's fine, and I've let relationships slip by the wayside. Will I regret it?

Anyway, I'm sorry for going on about myself so much today. Snowy that's good news about the chair. Not ideal but better than nothing.

TUL you don't sound like a horrible person, that sounds like your illness giving you bad thoughts. I hope the mini eggs helped Smile Re your son's school - no playground! What do they do?? Do you know other people going to that school? Sometimes parental involvement can really make or break a place, so perhaps there's hope yet.

I hope you're doing ok Lem.

Batwings hello and congrats on your anxiety free day, wonderful! My anxiety has abated now I've dropped the caffeine, but the depression seems to be stronger. What to do! (TUL any mini eggs left? Grin)

Swoopdewoop · 28/04/2014 18:31

x post Lem

I shouted at my ds today and he actually recoiled in fright. I felt awful. Would it help you to take a walk, or do you have any self-help techniques to get you through to bedtime? Please remember most lumps are not cancer. And you are not being punished for anything, not at all.

LEMmingaround · 28/04/2014 18:44

I am a bad mother. I dont deserve my children. Maybe this is for the best. I love them so much though. I am in hell. I am losing my mind

OP posts:
LEMmingaround · 28/04/2014 18:44

Valium or wine??

OP posts:
SnowyMouse · 28/04/2014 18:50

You are not a bad mother, LEM You're stressed because you're anxious, who wouldn't be?

LEMmingaround · 28/04/2014 18:56

Snowy you are too lovely. I opted for wine. Its helpi g

OP posts:
BatWings · 28/04/2014 18:57

Cuddles for you, Lem, you are not a bad mother you are just stressed and anxious. xxx

LEMmingaround · 28/04/2014 20:08

I am sorry for that dramatic posting earlier - i was not feeling very well Blush I have had some wine and feel a bit better. My lovely lovely lovely DD came and gave me a cuddle and told me she loved me more than i could ever know - i can't ask for more than that, can i. I love that little girl so so much.

OP posts:
SnowyMouse · 28/04/2014 20:20

Aww, that's sweet Smile

Swoopdewoop · 28/04/2014 21:07

Glad you're feeling better, Lem. Your little girl sounds adorable. Smile

Victrix · 28/04/2014 23:23

Hi everyone, thank you for the welcome Smile

Been absolutely exhausted today, clearly my garden centre adventures yesterday took a lot out of me.

I was at the GP last Friday for my first anxiety related appointment and I'm still so relieved that she took me seriously- was subconsciously waiting to be handed a grip I think. Got propranolol to try to deal with the physical symptoms and have an appt to get blood taken this Friday to rule out a physical cause.

I don't think they'll find one though, I've been reading the women with ASD thread and it's ticking an awful lot of boxes Confused

LEMmingaround · 29/04/2014 09:45

I cried when I dropped dd at school. She saw me vrying. Her little face :(

OP posts:
TheUnemployableLeech · 29/04/2014 11:14

Oh lem hugs. She saw you crying, so she saw something that shows her how much you love her.

SnowyMouse · 29/04/2014 12:33

(((( LEM ))))

I'm glad your GP is doing things, Victrix