"putting the SPRING back in our step - village support for depression and anxiety"

[LEMmingaround]

Heres the new thread guys. What is this, thread 9?

This is a thread that is situated in a virtual village of support for those suffering from mental health issues, or just those struggling with what life throws at them.

Please feel free to join in.

Thanks, Swoop.

Zombie pops in and out of the village. She's been on Sertraline for 11 months and feels it really helps her. She still has phases of feeling wiped out but she does have a lot going on right now.

As to how we do it, we make the village what we need it to be. Sometimes support, sometimes just have fun. There's no right or wrong.

you are doing just fine swoop :) We sort of spent a while when these threads were first set up talking about an imaginary village where we all lived, there's a green, lovely houses (with no picket fences - i have a phobia ) and most importantly a pub - and no stress! It sort of stuck but principally its a place where we feel safe to talk about anything that is bothering us, be that our medication, anxieties or general day to day stuff that we all ahve to deal with.

Zombie - its good to see you, i have seen your other thread and I am so sorry that you are having a bad time just now. There is always a seat at the bar for you. Be strong xx

Welcome Zombie As LEM says, there's always space here.

I guess talking therapy is worth a go, Swoop

Nana - i am hoping against hope that you find the strength to go to ireland, but i understand you might not be able to do that. I worry that you put yourself under pressure whenever there is a trip coming up, i do notice that you tend to dip at these times - your family love you and you don't have to pretend.

Strange weekend for me, some good lovely times but some tension between me and DP, nothing serious but it has really knocked me - it has made me realise how much i depend on and look to others for my happiness. I am back to feeling stressed and needing to get a job, but i dont know where to even start - i feel unemployable.

I suffer from anxiety too swoop - its a bastard.

Anyone out there? Feeling really shit!

I'm here beerhunter, whatsup?

Thanks lem. lots is up. I don't even know where to start. I just want to feel better again. Have a psych appointment tomorrow. Just hoping to get the best out of that. Need to be honest but worry that they will think I can't look after my little boy. I need a break but have no chance of getting one.

How are you? It would be nice to talk about how someone else is feeling. I get the same questiones every day from the crisis team.

What do you want to do work wise Lem? You might feel unemployable but I am sure that isn't the reality.

Could you make a list of the things you want to cover tomorrow beer? I find i used to drift in counselling sessions sometimes and writing down the things that are causing you the most distress could be a way to start?

I feel very sad tonight - i don't even know why, maybe it is beause DD is back to school tomorrow, i always feel lost - she has been really difficult today though so its probably time for school again.

I don't really know what i want to do work wise - i did do some teaching at college last year but that brought on another breakdown :( Although looking back i can see it was them rather than me - doesn't help wiht my CV though :(

I wish I could take your sadness away Lem. I really don't know what else to say or do.

How old is your DD?

Oh lots of new people - hello to you all. Maybe some not so new but new names to me......you're right about the Ireland trips Lem - thing is this time I knew I was "overdue" for some bad days as have gone almost a month, but then the anxiety kicks in big time when there is an Ireland trip, and it's tomorrow. It's 10.30 and I haven't even started to pack (not that I need much) as leave all toiletries etc over there. I feel leaden and wrung out after so much crying. I've always managed to go in the past no matter how anxious I've been, but think this time it will need a small miracle.

Sorry would like to "talk" to other sufferers but just can't tonight.

This is the right place to talk though because I absolutely believe that until you have suffered the torment of mental illness at first hand, you can have absolutely no idea how bad it is.

I usually only post when I'm in an ok period so I can reach out to others, and I know there are people far worse off than me. I am 70 and a grandmother, so no small children to care for, and a supportive DP (we've been together 45 years............just never got round to getting married) I really feel for those of you struggling with small children, and worries about employment.

Hi Zombie, Lemming, Beer & Nana. Can't contribute much just now but wanted to say I'm reading you and supporting you from afar.

Beer, I think Lem gives you some good advice there. And Lem, teaching is such a hard profession. I know people who have been in it for years and would love to do something else but just can't see a way out. Do you mind me asking what your field is? I'm sorry for asking if it makes you uncomfortable. Maybe I'm being over-keen for a newbie. (omg anxiety much? )

Zombie, I'm really glad you find the village helpful. I've been on sertraline for around 6 months now. I'll be really grateful for your words of wisdom on it, although I know everyone feels differently - I still feel up and down and don't trust what's normal.

Nana, how do you think you'll feel if you don't make the trip? Will it be a relief or not? Again, I'm sorry if it's not my place to ask. I'll learn as I go. I completely identify with what you say about being aware there are people worse off. Anyone looking at me from the outside would wonder what I had to be anxious about. I saw a therapist years ago and brought this up with her. Her response? - if you have a cut on your finger you don't ignore it because other people have a broken arm. I think that's a good view.

hi guys.
not much to say, just need to sit amongst friends in the village.

ds has had an asthma attack and today a panic attack. he couldnt get on a bus.

my work situation is as bad as it has ever been. another group sgt got me in yesterday for a chat. he says i have cause for complaint and he cant believe how im being treated. he was lovely. really lovely. trouble is when people are lovely to me now it makes me sad....i just want to cry and had to hold back the tears. He has said i MUST talk to my inspector.

i love my job.
but i am being bullied and very poorly treated. i realise its true. i also realise its just my group thats like it. i dont know why. i can mix with any other group, and any other dept.
i tried to talk to someone yesterday, a colleague, about my ds situation and they walked away, clearly uncomfortable.
i went to a job with a couple whose son had a complex dx., worst part of town, (you have to watch the car....) same sex couple, ....we had a mutual moan to each other. mutual tea and sympathy. They were lovely. I was meant to be there to help them with something and they ended up helping me....just talking helped and they were lovely. Theyve asked me to pop back after ds hearing and let them know how it went....

im ploughing on but i feel very isolated and alone in every sense. alone with my problems. alone with DS problems. alone at work.
im lonely.
so im just going to hang around here again for a while.
zombie - is there any picnic left?

im struggling massively to get up again. i went to bed last night at 10pm and didnt emerge today until 14.30....

i have however tidied up, forced myself into the shower and walked the dog.
i still look like shit mind you....

Oh swoop please don't worry about what you say or what you ask on here and you don't need to apologise - no-one is in the least judgemental and some of us (like me) pop in and out of the Village (I'm not really into the virtual stuff but I know others like it...) and are still welcomed back by everyone. The only trouble is when new people come on I can't always remember, or what their back story is, so that can be a problem - I blame the ageing memory cells. I just popped back on because finally at midnight I am feeling more like "me" but it's time for bed now. You ask how I'd feel if I don't make the trip - I usually know more or less as soon as I wake if I'm ok or not, but sometimes I can sort of "push through it" and other times I can't. If I'm as crap as I was this morning I will be relieved but also really sad because I was so longing to see my son/dil and most of all my grandchildren.

Hi Vicar sorry you're feeling so stressed out but it's small wonder with that job of yours and the worry with your DS. The police seem to work in strange ways, that another group sgt calls you in to tell you to report being bullied to the Inspector, and yes that sounds like a "must" but how strange that it has to be picked up by someone else - is it your group sgt who is bullying you. But you know Vicar you've had problems on and off with the job for soooo long - can you not get a transfer to another group/team?

Goodnight all - maybe back tomorrow - depends if I manage to go to Ireland.

Wishing us all a good nights sleep and sending warm wishes to everyone (just wish we could all be free of mental illness)........ggggggrh!

swoop - just noticed you are on Sertraline but still feel up and down and it's very common to be "up and down" with mental illness (assuming it is dep/anx as you are on Sertraline. I'm not going to tell you how long I've been "up and down" but I'm unusual! I'm in secondary care because I was an inpatient on a psych ward in 2010 for 3 months, so I have a CPN who is lovely and see a psychiatrist every few months. He said last time that he thinks a change of my old fashioned tryclic AD (imipramine) would be a good idea and suggested sertraline. I think the NICE guidelines are for SSRIs to be prescribed as they are less dangerous in overdose.

Definitely need to go to bed now.

nana - no not my sgt. we dont have one at min. its 3 of my group and the rest darent intervene.

my acting sgt has made things worse for me because ive now lost them as an ally. my proper sgt left, and at their leaving do the acting sgt got pissed and tried to kiss me in full view of everyone else. (they are engaged with 2 children) ive been fine with it since and we sorted it, it was just a drunken bit of daftness on their part, and mine i guess, - but its left me short of someone who was neutral as i think they are scared to be around me since the incident.

swoop im on sertraline.
i darent come of it. certainly not yet. its allowing me to cope.

im currently swinging from total detachment to wishing i would just die in my sleep.

Vicar I know absolutely nothing about how it works, but surely if your acting sgt feels like that then they should be doing all they can to facilitate a transfer to a new group? Will the other group sgt back you up if you go to your Inspector? Good luck.

nn Hope you're ok today and you manage to get to see your gc. Would going a few days later be an option?

lem hope you're not feeling too lost today.

We're back from the IL's and it was nice as DH and I had a couple of hours without the DC. I'm exhausted though! Even though I didn't do much apart from try to stop DD emptying cupboards, climbing the furniture... Not sure if she'll be invited back! We should find out this week if the sale of our place goes through - as they wanted to move in on 1st April, they seem to be taking their time. If we don't sign for the new place before the end of the month we will lose it. DH also told me that he is intending that we move ourselves and re-paint etc to save some money. Really not sure how we will manage it because we have some very heavy stuff although the people who moved us here damaged a lot of our things so DH says we can't do worse... I'm not sure I'll be able to cope with organizing a move to he honest.

DD is refusing to go to nap and I'm tempted to crawl back into bed with her for a while.

Are you ok DD and snowy?

Well for better or worse I'm going to Ireland. Feel mega anxious, sick and achy - taken 2 diazo so can't take any more. I just want to crawl back to my bed. Hope everyone manages the struggle - but then we have to don't we - there's no other choice.

Well done NN, be thinking of you as you travel.

I'm soso TUL, care coord is coming later, at lunch time.

Fucking hell - found a breast lump, DP can feel it too :( Can't get Drs appontment, waiting for Dr to call. Fuck fuck fuck (sorry zombie i know this is probably triggering for you)

Well done Nana. Hope you have a lovely time.

hi Vicar, I'm sorry your workplace is so grim atm.

Lemming, I worry about this too as my mother died in her 40s from breast cancer. I've stood in front of a mirror crying, having convinced myself it was cancer. That was years ago and I'm still here. Remember most lumps are benign. Do you have any calming techniques to draw on? I find deep breathing useful. Sorry if I'm teaching you to suck eggs but I forget sometimes. Good luck with the doc.

(((( LEM ))))

Thinking of you.

LEM, it's not triggering at all. Please, please let me know if there's anything I can do. PM me if you want to chat. ((((( LEM )))))