"putting the SPRING back in our step - village support for depression and anxiety"

[LEMmingaround]

Heres the new thread guys. What is this, thread 9?

This is a thread that is situated in a virtual village of support for those suffering from mental health issues, or just those struggling with what life throws at them.

Please feel free to join in.

so glad the village is in full bloom lem - long may it stay that way.

i know ive dropped out....but thats in part to the fact im no longer feeling so down, anxious.

i may need to pop back when my gp decides to wean me off the meds...but for now im good.

im so glad these threads help so many. i feel like im just renting out my little space in the village....i may be back.....or maybe ill sell up and move on....who knows. at least for now i know my little space in the village is here if i need it.

to explain to anyone who is wondering who the chuff i am....way back in november 2012 i began a thread on these boards which evolved into the village....

love to all, wherever you are down this road. it does get better. i promise. accept help. talk it out here and hold your head up high....depression and anxiety are real illnesses, treatment varies. some works. some doesnt.

lem thank you for being so kind on my other thread....ive asked for it to go poof....

x

This will always be your village Vicar - there were certainly some twats on the other thread, jealousy is a funny thing! Was it 2012?? blimey! I am so pleased you are feeling better these days. I was a bit worried by the other thread but you handled it well and know it sounds a bit odd but i felt proud :)

I do feel so much better than i did at the start of the village too but i do slip back from time to time and need to get my confidence back. It will happen, i do at least know that now, i just know not to rush things.

Oh and i have lost a whole stone in weight just another four to go

Well done on the weight loss, LEM, I've only managed 1-2 lbs

LEM and vicar, I'm sure you will always be welcome, it's good that you're both feeling better

Did your op go ok, vicar?

Oh wow so good to see you Vicar - I think it was just you and I for a short time, though others quickly joined. You might not know that Ed was on this thread a while ago, not sounding too good, but she's not posted again so I think/hope that's probably a good sign. She is applying for jobs and that is always stressful.

I am still on the emotional roller coaster and had 3 very crap months from the beginning of this year, but coincided with some worrying family problems. It's easier in one way to cope with your kids when they're little and upset, but when they're adults - well it's very tricky. Trouble is that maternal need to protect doesn't go away, no matter how old they are. Well that's how it is with me.

Can I just say do take care about coming off the ADs and do it very slowly. I remember the psychiatrist saying to me after my first severe episode of depression to stay on them for 2 years to prevent relapse but I was with a hopeless GP practice and they just told me to stay on them and I tried reducing myself 2 or 3 times but always got withdrawal symptoms so went back on them and was on them for 15 years with no trouble. I decided to come off them (with the help of a psychologist) and I did it very slowly - took 10 months, but within 4 months I relapsed and was an IP again, and haven't made a complete recovery. SO it seems like the right time for you - I think I was on them for so long that I had become dependent on them and coming off just caused a relapse.

Hello everyone else - Lem well done on your weight loss and Snowy don't worry about slow weight loss - it's still a loss. And am I right in thinking you are doing reasonably ok just now - hope so.

hi nana,
ive been wondering about ed....think i will pm her. not heard from her for a while....

gp wants to wean me off the ADs but im slightly reluctant....i dont want to relapse.
im doing good right now. mostly anyway.

I PMed Ed but didn't get a reply but you two were very close so I'm sure she'd like to hear from you.

I'm here.

just had a nightmare week. I keep meaning to reply. I will get round to it :)

(((( Ed )))) I hope this week goes better for you.

Do you think it's worth waiting to see how things are when you go back to work, vicar?

Thanks for asking, I'm up and down NN, knitting and watching tv as distraction. I hope things start go better soon for you.

hi ed! how are things generally? pm me if you want....i was going to pm you. im glad you are still here....

ive just had a call to say the police have managed to retrieve DS phone - he had done a lot of the detective work and narrowed down where it was being used from to an exact address.

police searched and found it, so he is very happy right now. im feeling a bit sluggish but i had a late night last night as dh and i went out. but i have got dressed which is something. (only just mind but better than sitting in pjs all day which was the temptation...)

im going to tackle the tidying up and walk the dogs.

its my anniversary today. 23 years.

Oh Ed don't worry about not replying - I often forget to do that - in fact I owe SPC a reply and I will get round to it - honest! Hope you're ok anyway and as I think I said before a PGCE and a full time teaching post as a single parent of 3 girls is a big ask...........but I hope you can do it. Are you in an area where the catchment areas are reasonable, although I suppose that depends. I mention this as my eldest son has resigned his permanent post as a primary school teacher (long story) and is now doing supply and says he is just going into schools full of de-moralised teachers. Very sad what is happening to public services.

Well done on 23 years Vicar - we've been together for over 40 years (lost count) though god knows how, as we've had some fairly spectacular arguments over time! Our sons are very laid back as a result of being parented by us!!

Same here snowy up and down and knitting and watching TV as distraction. Oh and I managed to get to Aldi today!

Sending love to all, thanks to vicar, and waving bye bye. No more name changes though.

Think I'll have a bit of rest from MN - but I won't go far!

I'm so lucky in the support I have around me here where I live. And so so lucky to have found MN.

Had a very teary week, but in a good way. Tiredness, and the clocks changing. Lovely visit from DS, didn't see much of him, but he brought me a beautiful orchid, which, according to the packaging, thrives on neglect :)

Looking forward to hearing from you, NanaNina, when you have a moment to drop me a line. warm wishes again to all x

oops just to be clear

The name changes bit refers to me, not you vicar, I didn't mean it to sound like a command!

Hello everyone :)

I've been on fluoxetine for over 2 months now. Am feeling a bit better...most of the time anyway.

Is it OK if I join this thread for a bit of mutual support and understanding?

Have a nice break TSP.

Welcome kG

nn I owe you an answer but I am afraid you'll have to wait until I'm on the computer so I can look back to it. What are you knitting snowy? I wish I had the energy/concentration/willpower to get out my project which has been in the cupboard for the last three years...

Have a question I need help with. I have to answer a questionnaire about DS, which I should have sent back last week. There are loads of yes/no questions and several I have no idea how to answer! One is does he usually look you directly in the face when you do something with him or speak to him? I have absolutely no idea, and don't know what to say. Because I don't think that I do that so I don't notice. If I call his name he will turn to look at me but then looks away, but I do this too so do I answer yes or no. Has he learnt it from me? How do I know if he does this a normal amount? Does that even make sense?

Also, does he have an interest which is unusual in its intensity, but is other wise gender/age typical. He is very interested in trains, lifts. But how do I know if this is unusual in its intensity? I don't know any other boys his age.

Does he have any interests which other people would find strange (e.g. Water pipes, timetables). Well for a start he is 4 so time is meaningless to him. He is fascinated by lifts and mechanical stuff which I clearly think is a strange interest, but I am guessing its normal for boys to be interested in.

How on earth am I suppose to know what to answer? It's a stupid questionnaire and should have sent it back to the psychologist last week... Help!

Back again after an emotional and quiet weekend. I went to Church yesterday, and spent most of it crying. I then had to go and get funeral outfit. That's now sorted, at least. Spent the remainder of yesterday sleeping, as I think I said before, I really struggle with clothes shopping, and yesterday wore me out mentally.

My anxiety and depression are definitely coming back. With having this to content with, as well as fighting to change CPN, I'm getting very concerned about my mental health. This morning, I'm trying to get an appointment with doctor I think I mentioned before, but it's looking like I'll have to go to the surgery to get an appointment, the phone line's constantly engaged. I think I'll be trying PALS at 9am as well.

I'm knitting a doll, TUL. Have a good break, silvery, we'll always be here.
How's it going, MG? Did you manage to contact anyone? Are they being difficult about you changing CPN?

TSP - enjoy the break, i sometimes feel i need a break from mn and i have done it before - it was a good thing :) Will miss you though!

TUL - there are no right and wrong answers about your son. I take it they are making an assesment regarding possibly being on the ASD spectrum? It is ok to answer that you aren't sure if you aren't. So answer that for the does he look at you question. Regarding the interest, i think they are asking if he is obsessed with these things so will only want to play/talk about lifts to the exclusion of all else. Again, you could answer no but include an asterisk and just say he has interest in xy and z. The answers may seem stupid and they are pretty vague but they will be indicators so its worth doing. Don't feel under such pressure though - has he an appointment pending?

Hello KG - do you want to say a bit more about your mental health. It is very usual to have "ups and downs" if you are suffering from depression and anxiety but 4 out of 5 people make a complete recovery in 4-6 months.

TUL you don't "owe" me an answer so don't worry about that. The thing about whether your son looks at you when you talk (or has eye contact) is to help to know whether he is on the autistic spectrum I think, as children who are autistic don't hold eye contact with you. If you're not sure, try it - bend down to his level and ask him something and see if he looks at you, as in looking at your eyes with his eyes, or whether he just turns away. If he does look directly at you while you are talking, then the answer is Yes, if not then NO.

The thing about the unusual interests is a bit more difficult really, as he is only 4. Lots of children (mostly boys) are interested in trains at that age but I think the fascination with lifts is unusual, but there are no right or wrong answers as you can only say how things are at the moment. I don't however this it's a "stupid questionnaire" as it is probably used for children of all ages, and some children with autism do get obsessed with things like train/bus timetables which is unusual.

My grandson (now aged 14) has autism and he never maintained eye contact with anyone and never wanted to play with other kids, he would just do his own thing. It was obvious very early on that there was something wrong, but he wasn't diagnosed until he was 5 and then got placed in a special school which was the best thing that could have happened as he'd never have coped in a mainstream school.

Don't stress about the questionnaire just tick what you think and you can always put a ? by the side of the tick which will show that you aren't entirely sure and can talk to the psychologist about this when you have a meeting. Psychological services are very over stretched with long waiting lists, so do take the opportunity to engage with the psychologist to help your son. Diagnoses for autism often mention the Autistic Spectrum which means that a child can be on one end of the spectrum and have Aspergers Syndrome or at the other end severe autism, and they can of course be anywhere in between. It's important that your son is diagnosed so that he can get the support he needs.

Hi all,

Sorry to keep disappearing but the last few days have been hell both mentally & physically. Not in a good place at all & back on diazepam :(

Hope everyone is doing ok

Au revoir SPC and I will answer your PM to me - I usually answer PMs straight away but if I don't then for some unknown reason I delay answering...........oh gawd not going to analyse that one!

Sorry you are feeling so bad MGP but it's small wonder really as you are recently bereaved and have to cope with the funeral and shopping for clothes can be stressful, especially when everything seems to be in a size 10 or 12!! GPs surgeries really piss me off because it's so hard to get an appointment. We have to phone at 8.00 a.m. and like yours, the phone is always engaged and by the time you get through they say there are no appointments left, but more will be "released" at 12........gggggggrh! Mondays are worse I think because they are dealing with stuff that cropped up over the weekend.

Re the CPN - it's very tricky because they are usually overloaded and so may not be able to swap around. Can you tell us a bit more about the CPN and what the problems are, as it would help us support you better.

Hi Lem I think you and I said more or less the same thing to TUL but yours was far more succinct!!

Wow - a doll - that sounds quite difficult Snowy - I can't do anything fancy, so I knit "trauma teddies" (very easy) and they are sent out to war torn countries around the world. I also knit blankets for the same cause, just plain knitted squares then sewn together, though I usually pass the squares to my sister as I hate sewing them and she does it much neater than me.

TUL rather than trying to get on with something that's been in the cupboard for 3 years, how about just knitting a few squares that could eventually make a blanket. When I was an IP in 2010 I was knitting and several patients mentioned that they "used to knit" but didn't any more. There was one lady who kept looking at my knitting and holding the wool and saying how she used to love knitting, so I got her some needles and a nice ball of wool and suggested she knit squares like I was doing. At first she was saying "Oh I haven't done any knitting in years" but soon she was knitting happily away with a smile on her face. That's a really good memory I have of being an IP (most of the others were negative)

Had a really crap day yesterday - it's weird because I know as soon as I wake whether I am ok or not, as soon as I open my eyes. I stayed in bed till mid-day then showered and had a long cry and slowly picked up during the afternoon. Better today but who knows what tomorrow will bring!

How's everyone else?

MGP no wonder you're a bit up and down - you've got such a lot going on just now. Take it easy if you can do.

I'm loving hearing about all the knitting, it's something I've never been able to do but I'm envious of those who can. I understand it can be really therapeutic in its own right.

TSP I've only been here a short time but I'll miss seeing you around, I can see the benefit of taking a break but do pop in if things are ok and you can manage it.

Sorry you're having a bad day NN - sometimes staying in bed is the best thing. It's so hard though, did crying help any? I know it can help me feel able to pick up and get going again.

I've had a good day, I saw my counsellor - who did fit me in after I emailed her last week. I feel so much less anxious having been able to pick up a few things with her...

Thanks nn & lem. I tried the looking in the eye thing. He did look at me, but I'm not sure who looked away first... He does love playing with other kids and is very friendly and sociable. He is sometimes too much though! Plus that he is very large and strong for his age and quite clumsy results in tears when he's trying to play. At least everyone is in agreement that he's not doing it deliberately. I have a meeting on Wednesday with the child psychologist, he won't be there. That question has really unnerved me and I'm very worried about what she will say.

Hope things settle for you DD. Doll sounds very impressive snowy.
Sorry to hear your news missg and hope you can get something sorted.

Hello everyone.

Greetings from "on holiday"

It's been good but woke up today feeling flat and its gone downhill from there. Everyone else has gone tobed and I am curled up in an armchair. Feeling trapped.

Tiglette - yes crying definitely helps me - it relieves some of the tension and helps me to "get going" again - well on a mildly bad day (like today) but if I have a very bad day I sometimes have 2 or 3 bouts of crying and don't always get much relief.

TUL try not to worry about your meeting with the psychologist - he/she is only trying to ensure that you get any support that is necessary for your son. She is not there to judge you, or ask you difficult questions, and I hope you can use the appointment to talk about the difficulties you have with your son, as you know him better than anyone else. Be interested in how the meeting goes.

DD sorry you are having a tough time - what is the physical trouble?

CIQ oh l know so well that waking up and feeling flat and empty. It's really horrible isn't it as you know you have to somehow face the day. (my day started like this but I've picked up a fair bit as the day has gone by) Does this sometimes happen for you. I was reading recently that depression is almost always worse in the mornings ad that's certainly my experience, but I'm sure it differs with individuals. Hope you pick up again later in the week.