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Original poster

Challenge from my Psychologist. Write down 3 positive things a day. Join me?

578 replies

fuzzpig · 05/09/2013 20:10

Background in brief - history of abuse and lengthy depression, self harm, lots of therapy in teens inc psych ward stay. Now suffering from CFS (also known as ME) and having CBT as part of the treatment.

So, we were talking about low self esteem, negative inner voice etc, and she suggested doing this to gradually build up evidence against these thoughts. I've done similar briefly in the past but having done a lot of psychological 'inner work' this year I feel ready to make it stick and I thought doing a thread on it would make me more likely to bother!

I'm off to watch telly with DH in a mo (Big Bang Theory 6 arrived yesterday :o) so won't be back til tomorrow but if anyone wants to do this with me then jump in! Could be stuff you've achieved, nice things that have happened etc.

Mine are:

  • Had my consultation over the phone for the first time - was worried it'd feel weird but I stuck with it and found it really helpful.
  • Contacted a friend to arrange a meet up while he's visiting home (I hardly ever initiate anything like that)
  • Wrote in my treatment journal the same day as my session, instead of leaving it for weeks!

:)

OP posts:
BeaWheesht · 15/09/2013 22:46

Ok here goes:

Ds did his homework nicely with no moaning
We all watched a DVD together
I had some time to myself

LollipopViolet · 16/09/2013 06:30

For yesterday:

  1. Had a good night out at the ice hockey, and our team won :)
  2. Saw some relatives who live at the other end of the country - they called in before going to see my granddad.
  3. Helped my gran out by doing a food shop (well, as much of it as I could carry home - but it meant she only had a little shop to do, not a big one)
Original poster
fuzzpig · 16/09/2013 08:26

Struggling again for yesterday but here they are:

  • helped DSD (15) with lots of homework
  • remembered to make a little salad to go with my pasta for dinner (keep meaning to but usually can't be bothered)
  • went to bed properly after falling asleep on sofa with DH (usually end up staying downstairs which is not too sensible) and had a better night's sleep because of it.
OP posts:
Millie2013 · 16/09/2013 20:36

Fuzz, I'm a huge BBT fan, I'm going to check out you tube, thank you :)

Mine for today

  • I managed to do a few household things I've been struggling with
  • I had quite a productive psych appt
  • I spent a lovely hour with the horses and followed oldie around the field while she grazed. She looked a bit confused by my presence, bless her :)
Original poster
fuzzpig · 16/09/2013 21:20

Yay a fellow BBT fan :o I only really got into it last year but I am somewhat obsessed now...

Mine for today (much better overall!):

  • Went to the walk in clinic and was seen within half an hour (normally it is a couple of hours)
  • Thanks to being seen so fast, DH and I had time to get the train to a nearby lovely town where we browsed a few shops and had a quiet pub lunch. Bliss! It is a real novelty having the odd day together now the DCs are in school.
  • Was in agony after work again - always am on Mondays - but instead of collapsing on the sofa when I got in I forced myself to run a hot bath with dead sea salts, and lazed in it reading for an hour. I really need to make that part of my weekly routine as hopefully it will help prevent my regular mini-crash on Tuesdays.
OP posts:
Queenofknickers · 16/09/2013 21:30

Hmmm hard day so am determined to do this!

  1. DH was nice to me and listened to my shitty day at work
  2. DS had better day at school after wobbles last week
  3. Next door neighbour said I looked glam today (female so it counts!!)
ColouringInQueen · 16/09/2013 21:42

Hard today

1 finished emulsion

2 had nice little chat with a friend

3 enjoyed his first swimming lesson

Empross76 · 16/09/2013 21:45

Finally, a good day today. Great, actually!

Got a bargain on Gumtree.

Phoned mortgage company and got news I was hoping for.

Had lots of texts from friends re my meeting with my boss and HR. Feel v lucky to have such fab friends.

Hope everyone else had a good day too.

LollipopViolet · 16/09/2013 21:59

Mine are:

  1. Had a really good review with my boss at work
  2. Went to the gym before work, and had a good workout
  3. Had a stroppy customer on the phone, and it didn't upset me :)
BeaWheesht · 16/09/2013 22:44
  1. Got in touch with an old friend
  2. Ds stood up and did show and tell, he'd never have done that a year ago
  3. I worked something out that's been troubling me
everydayineveryway · 17/09/2013 01:19

Managed to buy clothes for ds
Dd in a good mood
Had a long cuddle with dog

butterfliesinmytummy · 17/09/2013 01:24

There was a huge rainstorm this afternoon that totally cleared the air
The dog's tummy bug has cleared up and tests today confirmed that
The dcs took the bus to and from the new school today so I'm no longer spending 3 hours a day in gridlocked traffic

I like this thread. I spend too much time focusing on what doesn't go right. Doesn't have to be an achievement, even something beyond your control that you are grateful for.

Original poster
fuzzpig · 17/09/2013 08:22

Exactly butterflies - before when I've tried this I've felt like a fraud if I put things that weren't actual achievements, but actually it is really helpful to write down nice things that happen as it reminds me I don't have the worst luck in the world!

OP posts:
MajesticWhine · 17/09/2013 10:30

They don't have to be achievements. They need to be something that reverses your negative affirmations. So ideally, from each positive thing, you can derive a positive self belief. We are so used to negative self-talk, and develop harsh negative beliefs about ourselves, so this is meant to provide some balance.

So using various examples

  1. Chatted with DD after school (I am a good mother)
  2. Saw an old friend for coffee (I am friendly and sociable)
  3. Someone was rude to me but I didn't lose the plot (I am calm)
  4. The traffic was better today (Things are going well for me)
Original poster
fuzzpig · 17/09/2013 11:02

Yes I tend to be very pessimistic, like with the walk in centre yesterday - I know I have been treated very well there, but I tend to dwell on those times where I've waited hours, and then the appointment has been pointless (eg told my wheeze/inability to fecking breathe(!) is viral and they can't do anything) so I really dread going as I think "oh what's the point, I will just wait ages and then come away feeling worse - but thanks to yesterday where I got seen quickly, and although I didn't really get any firm answers (that's fine as I'm seeing my usual GP on Thursday) I can bank it as evidence that it often IS worthwhile going and, from a self worth point of view, it helps me remember that I AM worth treating/taking care of, health wise.

OP posts:
DuelingFanjo · 17/09/2013 11:27

This is what I did yesterday:

Collected DS from nursery and took him to hunt for puddles

Watched Dexter on the sofa with my husband with a glass of wine

Snuggled up in bed by 10 pm

ssd · 17/09/2013 13:05

I find it very hard to break away from negative thoughts and they can overwhelm me

can anyone give me any advice?

mum died a year ago and I feel so lost and alone, I try to be positive but cant see a way of turning anything around

ssd · 17/09/2013 13:06

sorry to bring a negative vibe to the thread

MajesticWhine · 17/09/2013 16:08

sorry for your loss ssd. I am not sure what to advise, without knowing more about your situation. It can take a long time to overcome the loss of a loved one. CBT (like the kind of positive thinking ideas on this thread) is not necessarily helpful with grief, although it can be. Do you have any support in real life? Would a support group help, or having some counselling?

Original poster
fuzzpig · 17/09/2013 16:33

Please don't apologise ssd, it's good to share. I'm really sorry about your mum Thanks

Have you ever looked at mindfulness? I wonder if that would be a good approach since it is about accepting your feelings rather than battling against them, and of course what you're feeling is a natural response.

OP posts:
BeaWheesht · 17/09/2013 16:43

Ssd :( I wish I could make you feel better. Mindfulness might be a good idea though like pp suggested?

ssd · 17/09/2013 16:58

I haven't heard of mindfulness, I'll google it to see what it means.

I'm waiting for counselling from cruse, but they are extremely busy, have been waiting for months.

spanky2 · 17/09/2013 20:25

Ssd mindfulness is part of cbt I think and I found it really helpful .
I got referred for cbt quite quickly . Ask your doctor . Thanks

Original poster
fuzzpig · 17/09/2013 20:57

Bizarrely spanky our group leader said that CBT is in a way the opposite of mindfulness/acceptance therapy, because in CBT you are specifically aiming to change thoughts/behaviour, whereas with mindfulness you learn to observe them and 'be with them' rather than fighting against them. I am finding elements of both useful though!

OP posts:
Original poster
fuzzpig · 17/09/2013 21:05

Mine for today:

  • had a productive morning with DH as we agreed to fill a binbag of stuff to throw out (I am on a decluttering mission but progress is slow lately)
  • managed the school run this afternoon without any stropping and not too much pain
  • feel like a good mum as I did a fun kitchen experiment with DCs and read secret seven to DD (have been barely able to speak the last few evenings so sadly relinquished it to DH
OP posts: