Challenge from my Psychologist. Write down 3 positive things a day. Join me?

[fuzzpig]

Background in brief - history of abuse and lengthy depression, self harm, lots of therapy in teens inc psych ward stay. Now suffering from CFS (also known as ME) and having CBT as part of the treatment.

So, we were talking about low self esteem, negative inner voice etc, and she suggested doing this to gradually build up evidence against these thoughts. I've done similar briefly in the past but having done a lot of psychological 'inner work' this year I feel ready to make it stick and I thought doing a thread on it would make me more likely to bother!

I'm off to watch telly with DH in a mo (Big Bang Theory 6 arrived yesterday :o) so won't be back til tomorrow but if anyone wants to do this with me then jump in! Could be stuff you've achieved, nice things that have happened etc.

Mine are:

• Had my consultation over the phone for the first time - was worried it'd feel weird but I stuck with it and found it really helpful.

• Contacted a friend to arrange a meet up while he's visiting home (I hardly ever initiate anything like that)

• Wrote in my treatment journal the same day as my session, instead of leaving it for weeks!

:)

fuzzpig that's interesting re: cbt and mindfulness - I am trying to combine both and have become aware of that difference but hope to take the best from each.

not a great day, but

collected loads of online orders from various shops etc
dd was chatty in car after school
ordered wallpaper

Have had a hellish day but here goes:

Got dd's party bags sorted
Posted a couple of parcels that have been sitting on my kitchen table for weeks
Good tv on tonight

They're not the best but they're something right?

Thank you fuzzpig I didn't know that but did it with cbt . I wonder why?
Yesterday
Got a complement about a pupil of mine.
Ds2 is being much better behaved .
Felt less stressed than usual .

I cleared out my wardrobe and Ds2 's wardrobe which I had been putting off. Four !

ok one early thing

famous people are filming in the town where I live!! (Am v excited and trying to resist urge to sit on pavement all day )

Many cbt therapists will do mindfulness work with clients too. They are allies not opposites, but have a different approach to dealing with thoughts. They both are concerned with noticing thoughts so they have that in common.

I think they are very complimentary despite having different approaches. It's also quite nice to use mindfulness to observe the effects of the CBT and vice versa. CBT is about changing thoughts/behaviours etc but it's really useful to use mindfulness as a step to break the cycle of thought/behaviour too, by accepting that thought, rather than trying to change it.

For example I spoke with my therapist about the anxiety I get on the bus a lot if I'm sitting in one of the disabled spaces because I don't iook disabled, and I run through CBT techniques quickly (I do this automatically) like reassuring myself that I am there for a reason etc, BUT in that situation I tend to overdo it and my mind just races. So during my session recently we put in 'use mindfulness' in the diagram so that I actually just make a big effort to observe the anxiety instead and just let it happen, rather than getting myself in a tizz by trying and failing to combat it.

Sorry that was somewhat garbled, hope it made sense.

Mine for today:

• had a great time at a drop in art class that I've been wondering about for ages. Talked to people and everything! My OT will be very pleased that I made that step.

• got home to find DH had done absolutely loads of decluttering and he even told me what he'd thrown away so I didn't get too anxious.

• remembered to take in my poems for my friend

Ok mine

Dd's test results came back from docs and they're fine.

Ds did all his homework straight away so don't have to worry about it at weekend.

Bought myself some new clothes

Fuzzpig - sounds like you've had a fab day, well done and send your Dh round here, plenty of decluttering to be done!

Hmmm, struggling at the moment, have had a sledgehammer taken to my world and it's not easy holding myself together.

But...

1. I told work about my current situation, and they're being fab
2. I'm starting to get my support network in place for what will be a hard few months
3. I'm going ice skating tomorrow morning :)

N today I made my dc lunches.

Made all 3 dc do music practice,

Dd2 cooked Brownies and we ate them

xxx

Haha bea sorry I still need him here, lots more to be done :o

Lollipop, sorry things aren't going well. You are doing brilliantly still posting here though and it's great you are being proactive organising stuff.

This thread is nearly 2 weeks old already I've got my next phone session with my psychologist tomorrow and I can't wait to tell her that I've done what she suggested and that you have all joined me.

I think if I'd just done this in my head or even on paper/my phone memo pad, I would've stopped after a few days. Doing it in a group is fab and so motivating, so thank you all

Also just wanted to say, as much for myself as anyone, don't worry if you don't do it every day. I tend to be "all or nothing" so in the past have often thought "oh well I missed a bit so there's no point continuing" as the inconsistency/imperfect nature of it hits right at the heart of my anxiety. This is something I'm really trying to change.

In fact that's another reason why I'm proud I went to that art club - I conquered my anxiety over the fact I'd missed some and therefore wouldn't be doing the whole 'course'!

fuzzpig great about the art club and pleased you can hold your head high tomorrow with psychologist. I've tried to do this in a notebook before and it's petered off. This is so much better - thanks.

I've had a good day. Without "outing" myself.

1 waved at famous actor and he waved back whilst on set filming. vvvv exciting

2 spent nice time with my dad

3 first coat of paint on woodwork looks lovely and bright and white

Hugs, SSD xx

I've had another ok day :)
-took my LO to see the horses this morning, she loves them!
-took MIL out and didn't strangle her (result!!)
-some funny texts back and fro with my friend :)

I had a pretty bad day. Ah well, try to focus on the positives.

• Work went quite well and am getting on ok with new supervisor
• I have a quiet day tomorrow and will have some time to catch up with my studying.
• I was really tempted to drink tonight, due to a tough day, but didn't, keeping to my nights out or weekends only rule.

Sorry some of you have had a bad day. Yesterday was a very scary day here but today was fine :)

Lollipop - hope you're ok

Fuzzpig- thanks for the thread - I know just what you mean about all or nothing I am like that about everything in life, I can't just tidy the kitchen for example, I have to make it perfect and if I can't then why bother? I can't do a normal diet I have to practically Starve myself and I can't so I never lose weight, I can't make a normal cake for my dd's birthday it has to be professional looking even though I've never made anything like it before, arghhhhh it drives me mad!!! Sorry wee rant!

3 is hard
I am practising - what did you do today that was lovely and thats enough

I have beaitufl DCs and I played with them
i had a cuddle with DD
I bought christmas things

Today

I went ice skating and had a really good lesson with my coach
I am playing around with my website this afternoon
My mum has agreed to give me money for my birthday, so I can use it to help me get home from ice show rehearsals over the next few months.

Ooh namechange what xmas stuff did you get?

Mine for today:

• saw my GP, she took my issues seriously and without me even asking gave me the referral I was hoping for (ultrasound)

• had a great session by phone with psychologist, she was very impressed about the fact I started this thread (I didn't specify MN, just said it was an online group) and that loads of us are encouraging each other :) she is also impressed with the 'inner work' I am doing and said I am very insightful :)

• I keep looking at the printing plates I made at the art group (we will use them next time), I am proud of them and it makes me happy.

I am impressed by your ice skating lollipop!

Ice skating sounds great as does art plates

Thanks for sharing that about the psychologist - I've strarted "tell me something lovely you did today" around the dinner table - nice to know it's a good thing to do.

I got advent calendars and Christmas duvets. :)

Today I had a lovely bath with dd
I'm laying on the bed with my baby
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Stuck on 3 - had lovely cuddles after school from ds

Fuzzpig this is def helping - thank you.

Finished painting my bedroom

Beautiful sunny evening after a miserable day

Had a very open chat with another mum who hadn't known all that had been going on here over the last year.

For yesterday -
Went back to work after day off with sick child and boss was lovely and asked how he was
Got given name of a cleaner, phoned and she is coming round next week for a chat
Ordered 1/2 size guitar online for ds and am considering keeping 3/4 one that is too big for him for myself so we can learn together

Yesterday .
Made bread and casserole for tea.
Got to a doctors appointment on time .
Got to boys music lesson on time .
Feel bad a I had short patience as I am not feeling brilliant .

You are right . I feel because it is part of this group I have to do it and it is so useful to keep me positive .