roll up for the village fete! move to our village if your 'fete' is to be happy!

[ThatVikRinA22]

6th thread folks....

keep talking/posting.

Hi snowy. It seems to make sense to stay at home and see if and when the meds kick in - if you can keep safe. Did they say how long they might take, and what are they - you could ask about them on here, or google them.

It would also make sense to prioritise getting your wheelchair fixed - I would find that very frustrating, even without the fact that you need it to go to art therapy.

I'll have to ask them, silvery, thanks. They've replaced one of the cables. How's your day going?

So far so good. Am off to Middlebrough on mh service user involvement business in a minute.

Sounds good

Struggling with horrible anxiety at the moment, not really sure why, but things aren't good. I am being short tempered with DD and i hate that - she is such a good girl, she doesn't deserve it. DP is frustrating me a bit as he is going to be working from home for a bit and I am finding it hard. I am having problems with my mother again - she is causing problems with the doctors and I am just at the end of my tether with it. She was kicking off yesterday that the chemist wasn't giving her the tablets when she needed them and that she would run out if she didn't get them straight away - I checked her cupboards, she had three boxes, but she said she couldnt use those as they were her emergency supplies. Then today i went there and she said she wasn't going to take her bp tablets anymore because they were making her mouth dry. I am starting to think its all a thing to control me.

I feel so very out of control actually - like everything is circling me. It feels like the devil is at the door - i can't explain it, but its like demons are circling the house. Its not a hullucination, its just unwanted thoughts but thats how it feels.

LEM could it be good in a way that she is causing problems with the doctors - there is nothing like having to deal with it themselves to make them realise how bad it has got.

no, not for the doctors, about the doctors, to me - she threw her pain killers at me yesterday, today she looked at me like she wanted me to die.

lem - she has to be responsible for herself - i cant see how you can do it all for her. is there anyone else who can help?
you have a lot on your plate.

hope everyone else had a good day.

lem (((hugs))) sounds like a tough day. I think you're right about your mum controlling tho, esp when accompanied by horrible stares. Can you keep your distance for a few days?

hi vicar, snowy, silvery hope your days went ok.

College ok, morning tough but pm better. Knackered and feeling v anxious about hosting a church meeting here at 8. Trying to concentrate on how I'll feel when its done. Head still not great (too much wine last night prob didn't help either...)

Phew meeting done. Went OK. Night all x

feeling a bit grotty tonight, this bloody ear thing is making me feel ill, i seem to have vertigo or something, feeling sick and dizzy. My ear still feels completely blocked and ive got a ringing in it, that i could cope with but not the flaming dizzyness/nausea. As usual the timing is impeccable as im back to work tomorrow.

quotes of the day:
(1)y don't u go find urself ur own place I'm tired if looking after u & ur daughter.

(2)what have u given me for the past 3 year's? absolutely nothing.

(3) ur just lazy start looking after ur daughter urself.

(4) I'm sick & tired of hearing the council will house me soon just tell them to start paying ur rent.

(5) pull urself together ur daughter is growing up u don't want her to think of u as a nutjob.

(6) y u feeling down? do u want to go into hospital?

then they all wonder y I wanna kill myself :| I havent been able to stop the tears. I had to get my vitD injection today & I cried throughout the appointment the Dr must have thought I'm some crazy women :(

DumDum this sounds bad. Most of my depression was caused by being in an abusive relationship (emotional, verbal, financial). I know this for sure as my depression lifted the day I issued divorce petition! The EA thread on Relationships was a godsend, why not have a look?

That sounds horrible Dumdum - is it your partner saying this stuff to you? are you splitting up? I can't help but wonder if you would feel much better away from whoever is saying those things to you

thanks silvery & lem. it's actually my loving family members that said all the above. they have so supportive until now maybe I've out grown my welcome now :( I've come over to my friends for the weekend. I think we all need some space right now.

I'm really upset by the whole thing tbh & don't really know how u deal with it. if they don't support me then I wont survive! it's just made me a ball of mess :(

hope u all doing well this weekend.

Oh dumdum [hugs]. Was it all of them (how many are there?) If they have been supportive then maybe getting some space this weekend can help. It can be frustrating being supportive and then the person doesn't get better - but of course that's how it often is with mh.

Are you claiming HB that's not come through yet? Hassling the council can help. In fact, what is the money situation and is that contributing?

That sounds awful, DD Do go back to the council...

money situation isn't great tbh. I'm classified as homeless by the council so no HB. I'm meeting my local MP next week with to sort it all out as my case has been ongoing for over 2 years but no result. I've applied for DLA now so once that gets activated I'll have more money to contribute to my family. atm IS/CB/CTC is what I get & I give some money out of it but I'll have to start giving them more. I've got various credit cards & a loan I'm paying off atm but I'll have to set up payment plans with them as I don't want money to be the reason for my family to hate me.

my mum.rang me earlier & said she was very sorry for the way things came out yesterday. I apologized too. I'm going home later tonight as she wouldn't hear of me staying away another day. I knowy family love me & it must be so hard to put up with me & seee me not get any better. I do understand it from their point of view but unfortunately I can't help the way I am. I know my little one is getting bigger & trust me that scares more than it does them. the problem I got is I always remember the bad stuff so.eventhough when I go home tonight we'll all be fine the things that have been said Wont leave my brain. I.curse myself & my brain all day for being this way. the only time I'll switch off Is when I'm out cold asleep! of course I never remember anything that I'm meant to like appointments etc because my brain Is too busy trying to kill me slowly with everything else :(

sorry to bore u guys to death I just needed to get it all out!

dumdum I wonder if the glimmer of hope represented by the MP meeting is what might have triggered this for you all? In a week's time things might be better re housing - but then again nothing may have changed. Doubt and uncertainty are unsettling, plus also your family may feel guilt that 'they want you out' - not that they do in any nasty way iyswim.

Re the brain thing - do you watch Strictly? I started watching 3 years ago and found watching dancing switched my brain off from all the guff it was coming out with...

I find strictly helps too, doesn't need too much concentration.

I'm confused. The nurse today was saying maybe we should detain you. On Thurs people were being quite adamant that hospital was not an option.

I wish they'd all make their minds up.

Sending everyone good wishes, how's it going all?

I'm confused too, snowy. Do you have a written care plan? You should have, if not ask for one next time you see someone.

Is the wheelchair usable now - I wasn't sure from your post? Surely your care plan (if it exists) should mention the art therapy? If you haven't tried it and seen what difference it makes to you, how can anyone decide what other things (meds tweaks etc) you might need?

Good idea silvery, I don't think it's been updated for some time. My wheelchair is fixed now. My first art therapy is next week now. I wish I was less low by now.

How's it going for you?