roll up for the village fete! move to our village if your 'fete' is to be happy!

[ThatVikRinA22]

6th thread folks....

keep talking/posting.

hello all
silvery the ratties are enjoying "gone girl" at the min! im sat here with them now as it happens....

snowy - sorry things arent quite going your way just now - i hope you get the outcome you hope for if that is indeed the right thing for you. Try to keep an open mind.....

im on days off now. thank god. the job is stress stress and stress but im coping. i think.

im looking forward to getting my puppy though money is tight.

need to get up early tomorrow and go shopping. we have nothing in.
then meant to be meeting friend for lunch.

my head is a bit scrambled, i hate coming off nights. i cant quite right myself. i have a headache, feel tired, but not sleepy. i messed my meds up too.
will try to get back on track tomorrow now i think. hope you all had a good weekend.
gnite all.

Well, no transport (after waiting 2.5 hours), so no assessment. I've said I don't want to rearrange. I'm glad the ratties are having fun. I hope your body clock resets quickly, vicar.

Thanks LEM, I don't know quite what will happen now

How's everyone else doing?

That is really bad of them snowy :( I would make a complaint if you can be arsed. But hey, at least you don't have to go in today now - every cloud

I've said I don't want the assessment rearranged. I have emailed PALS. I don't see what more the hospital/day services can do to help really.

hey all,

how is everyone doing? hope all are well :)

so last week my g.p thought I might be diabetic but thankfully test came back ok. today's Dr visit resulted in me now being sent or an ecg/xray tomorrow. they think one of the psychosis meds may be causing some heart trouble :|

ah snowy that is shitty about the transport! they should have made sure it was booked. I can understand y u wud not want to do it anymore but an assessment by a consultant is vital for any of us to move forward. hope u find the strength to re-consider & they don't f**k up again.

I'm getting tired of these horrid tests they keep sending me for special hoping tomorrow will be the last ones! voices are being loving to me at the moment by saying what a crap mum I'm being & I'm.still knocking myself out with zopiclone at night :( I don't know when I'll see the day when I sleep normal night!

question for u all - are u going to get the flu jabs? my Dr is insisting I get it but I really don't think it makes any difference.

**

I'm glad you're not diabetic, DD32 I hope the ecg and xray come back clear too. I should get the flu jab, just need to make the appointment. I'm sorry the voices are troubling you.

The CT person that came today was not positive. He wants a meeting between my CPN and them about where 'we' go from here People have mentioned hospital 3 times in the past 4 days. I really don't want that.

Sorry, I'm repeating myself

Have you got a Wellness Recovery Action Plan, snowy? And I thought you had art therapy coming up - that could help, surely?

What's their aim, do you think? To get you out of the house, to socialise, or what?

Re voices (although I know my experience is different/more the norm). Some of the time I'd have internal dialogue, which I know was me though, telling myself that I was a failure, crap mother, would never reach my potential etc etc. But looking back, even shortly after, and during good weeks, I could see that wasn't true.

Hi everyone,

just watched a vvv interesting programme I'd recorded. BBC Horizon with Michael Moseley investigating whether its possible to "change our mind" ie become a more positive, less anxious person,,,, and basically it seems that it is possible.

www.rainybrainsunnybrain.com/bbc-horizon/

He did some "Bias modification therapy" (training your brain to identify positive signals rather than negative) and mindfulness meditation for 7 weeks, and before and after tests showed his right brain activity (associated with anxiety etc) had reduced (this is in v laymans terms btw) and he felt more cheerful and his wife said he was calmer.

Anyhow this page has some of the tests and activities that he did...

I found it encouraging. It was also saying how our genes change throughout our lives - they switch on and off in response to events, environment etc.... so a cheerful person can experience a number of v stressful events and a depression gene be switched on. The scientists were saying how therefore it should be possible to switch it off again...

Interesting stuff. Hope you find it helpful..

more here inc prog

evening all

I can't sleep unless I take a zopiclone & I want to avoid doing that tonight as I wont be able to get up tomorrow!

CIQ - that looks interesting I might even watch it tonight if I'm still awake at ungodly hours!

silvery - ur totally right about internal dialogue. I do that sometimes aswell but everything gets muddled up in my brain & I can't tell the difference between the voices.Its pretty weird & hard to explain :|

snowy - yes, what about the art therapy? is that not helping? when I was in day hospital they use to make us do it. in the beginning I was lyk WTF Im not a 10 year old but it grew on me.

hope u all have a good night sleep x

I think their aim is for me to be safer No WRAP, can't go to art therapy (first session) tomorrow as my chair needs repairing. I do get intrusive thoughts, they are worse than the voices at the moment. Sounds interesting, CiQ

How's today going for everyone?

Good thoughts/prayers would be appreciated at 15:30 today, they are coming earlier than usual.

Thinking of you snowy and for the next hour or so... hope you get on OK x

Thoughts currently winging your way, snowy

How did it go snowy?

Thanks xxx

They want a meeting with my CPN tomorrow afternoon to see 'where we go from here'. And another phone call tonight. CT keep saying they don't know what to do... I am tempted to suggest leaving me to it again.

Hmm that sounds helpful of your CT I can imagine its v unsettling for you though. It does sound like you would benefit from a bit more clarity - like silvery asked upthread do they have a recovery plan in place - is that where your art therapy fits in? Hope you're ok now.

I've had a funny sort of day really! Bit uninspired to start with but then got asked to coffee by another mum (who I've not coffeed with before) so that was nice, had a nice little chat with her, then counselling. That was ok but did feel like it was making my brain ache today! Couldn't quite work out what to do when I got back so thought I'd do my meditation to calm my mind down. Well it did. I did it - 15 min exercise, and felt so sleepy I lay on the sofa and woke up 2 hours later!!! lunch, school run, train track building, school run, home.... I guess I needed the sleep but feel rather bleurh about rather a non-day!

Hope everyone else's doing ok x

That sounds like a nice, restful day CiQ

I'm not really ok, just trying to go minute by minute, no recovery plan except art therapy.

Thinking of everyone!

hi all
snowy your CT arent exactly instilling confidence are they? Do you have any thoughts as to how you see things going from here? not sure that doing nothing is a plan.

I went to the stables today. ive not been for a good couple of months, i didnt go to help or ride, but went to catch up over a cuppa with my riding instructor, it was a beautiful day and i was reminded how restful it is there and how much the horses help me with my state of mind. Im going to go and help out again the week after next, nothing to strenuous. She asked me if there is any reason i cant ride until i have my op - there isnt - but i just feel all the stop/start isnt helping with my learning - i had come to a bit of a stand still in terms of learning to ride and just felt i was going backwards, plus after the surgery i think i will weigh less, (its an operation on my stomach, so eating will be out of the window for a while) which might mean i could ride some of the other horses. Anyway it was lovely to go, instructor was pleased to see me and gave me hugs....i am really missing being there but i had got a bit apathetic again so it might be the spur i need to get back into it.

how is everyone else doing?

I'd like to stay at home until the meds kick in... I'm sure I'll be told doing nothing is not an option tomorrow.

That's good that you're getting back in to riding, vicar - definitely therapeutic activity

have they tinkered about with your meds again snowy? its reasonable for you want to wait until they kick in - i suppose they just need to make sure you are not in any danger until that happens? wishing you luck for tomorrow - and hope they start to have some effect for you soon. Its not good that you are still feeling unwell....

thanks, and it is good that i went back to the stables today - it definitely helps me, even just the peace and quiet of the place is calming. its out in the country, no cars, no noise, just some very old large trees and the wind in the tree tops, the occasional bi plane going over and the red kites circling over head (birds of prey - not flying type kites!) its so amazingly peacful. Going to go after my next set of days off.
cheers all
wishing you a good day tomorrow....

Thinking of you today, Snowy , hope all goes well for you. Lots of love going your way (((snowy)))

I feel ok, bit worried about this job coming up. I've asked if I can do part time. I think I have to be realistic about what I can do.

I seem to have no energy at the moment.

The mindfulness sounds really effective Ciq, eagerly awaiting my book. It sounds like a rest is what you needed. I think I am so wound up a lot of the time I have trouble relaxing.

Being around horses is so good for you Vicar they seem to recharge your batteries.

Hope everyone has a good day

Hi all, how's things?

I think yesterdays counselling has stirred things up rather. Dh and I had a nice weekend away, relaxing without dcs, it was good to have time to talk more. Nothing amazing, but nice.

Got talking yesterday about the fact that I seem to find it easier to be spontaneous with the dcs when dh is not around. Both of us have admitted that we're not on best form when we're with each other, but other people. I also recognised yesterday that I often find my dad easier company than dh. We spark off each other and understand each other well, whereas often I say stuff that dh just doesn't get and I think that affects my motivation to actually talk to him iyswim. I know dh and I have some work to do on our communication, but I'm finding this unsettling today and a bit demoralising, so coupled with going to bed too late has not made for a great combination

Off for a walk soon with a friend so hoping that will help!

Thanks all. I hope the meds start working soon too. The stables sound idyllic.

Counselling/therapy is renowned for stirring things up, you need to be kind to yourself afterwards. Enjoy your walk!