roll up for the village fete! move to our village if your 'fete' is to be happy!

[ThatVikRinA22]

6th thread folks....

keep talking/posting.

[TheSilverySoothsayer]

I can predict it, and I do predict it. The rest is up to you Notsoblonde

[EdwiniasRevenge]

Ty.

It was the ...your just lazy comment.


I haven't done anything in the besroom this afternoon but ibhave cleaned out and disenfected the fridge from top to bottom. About to make dcs beds (with their help).


All the other comments since have perked me up.

Ty gypsy silvery

[SnowyMouse]

Good night all.

[Notsoblonde]

Thank you silvery :), am going to throw myself into my work with a new approach I think, confident and not over think things, I have done it before and can do it again! Am not lying down to this bloody thing anymore. (In theory) hope I can put it into practice.

ed don't take any notice, they don't know your situation, they don't know how well your doing, and she might just be grumpy today we think your fab.

[Fishandjam]

Can I come in? I want to go and view the produce (pronounced PROD-yoose) exhibits . Giant parsnips always make me smile, and goodness knows I could do with some of that.

[TheSilverySoothsayer]

Ed I hope I was right about the chocolate?

Hiya f&j come right on in :) Do you remember That's Life in its heyday?

[Fishandjam]

Ooh I do silvery! I also remember a pisstake song (maybe on Naked Video?) about That's Life and "the carrot that looks like a willy, and a willy that looks like a carrot". Happy days....

[ColouringInQueen]

Welcome fishandjam Hope you enjoy the fete.

I think I'll volunteer for the cake stall as long as they're miraculous calorie free ones!

Wishing you all the very best for tomorrow notso will be thinking of you.

Hi snowy, Ed, silvery, lem, mama and anyone else I've missed.

Had a nice day. Didn't make it Church as was just too tired so slept in and then went to see bil and sil and had lovely lunch and relaxing afternoon plus a game v of croquet which I won

Meeting a friend tomorrow with her toddler and planning to get there early so I can get a walk in first. Am managing 30 mins of exercise most days and feel better for it. Seriously unfit but hope that will improve soon.

Weather forecast not so good for late v in the week. Hope the sun stays tho as I've really appreciated it.

Night all x

[ThatVikRinA22]

i am feeling quite up. i tidied the house, then showered, dressed in one of my new dresses and shoes,( all from the new look sale but hey ho!) did my hair and make up and buggered off to the pub with DH for a couple of hours tonight.

when i looked in the mirror i liked what i saw. ive never done that before. something has changed in me....i dont know exactly what it is but im happy to be me.
i look ok. i feel ok.
i put on a new dress tonight - size 14 maxi dress with made the absolute most of my new found cleavage...(hello boys!!!) .draped over all my lumps and bumps and i felt good for the first time in ages. My hair is cut well, and highlighted well in shades of blonde, its long now, i felt feminine, did my make up, felt good.

i wish i could bottle this and take it to work with me....but even there im starting to really feel that i can sod what anyone else says and just trust my own judgement.

i like this. i do hope it lasts.

i bumped into my friend on friday that id not seen in about 3 years. She was my bridesmaid at my wedding. She looked amazing, but had lost weight through stress. she is splitting with the latest bloke. So at first i looked at her size 8 figure and was a bit envious.....then i came to my senses.
im happy. she is still searching for happiness. i should count my lucky stars at what i have - it seems its quite elusive for some folk.....and i do realise i am lucky.
she hadnt replied to any of my msgs for ages because she felt guilty at not being in touch.
but it was like we had only spoke yesterday when we got together - she said she envied the fact that i can store my past away and not let it affect my present.....i told her the whole sorry tale of the last year.
but i feel like i have a real grip on it all now.

the combination of the sertraline and the counselling has really helped me.
im 41 now.
i feel happy in my skin for the first time ever.

[EdwiniasRevenge]

Right.

Have had a lovely evening doing a jigsaw with dcs and singing hopelessly out of tune to random current and 80s songs at the top of my voice.

I was very merry without the use of alcohol.

I haven't eaten today (unless you count chocolate and lollys), but dcs are home now so will eat properly tomorrow.

Then I went back to my thread. Now I'm heading back to bed to throw my underwear on the floor....and wallow.

Thanks for sticking up for me though silvery and notso. It is difficult cos I wanted to ask for help developing a system from broader MN, but they just don't 'get' how I need that help as part of ongoing recovery from this poxy illness. 3m ago even I was too ill to even think about fixing it.

Anyway. Night all. Tomorrow is another day.

[SnowyMouse]

Good morning all (just).

I've been into town and had my blood test (good). Got back with no sign that UPS have been (also good). Bad news is my wheelchair needs repair, so I'm going to have to cancel the dentist.

Should be getting my new laptop today (killed the screen on my old one, and it was getting ancient).

What's everyone else up to today?

[SnowyMouse]

Well I have a new, working laptop now Not keen on the idea of the day hospital tomorrow, but it is only for an assessment (hopefully for me as well as them).

I stayed in this afternoon, just having a quiet day. I hope it cools this evening.

[ColouringInQueen]

Hi all,

vicar great to read your positive post. Long may it continue.

Ed sorry your thread (where?) brought you down - hope you've bounced back up again and are still partaking of the ice-creams.

snowy hope you've survived this hottest day in 7 years (34 here) .... Glad to hear about new laptop and wishing you well for tomorrow.

Altho it has been v boiling I am that the weather is turning wet and cooler at exactly the time the DCs break up from school. Seems VVV unfair to me..

Have really been enjoying the sun. Hope I can keep the sunshine feeling even if its cloudy...

[SnowyMouse]

Yes, it's not fair on the DC really. I hope the sun stays with you, CiQ!

[ColouringInQueen]

Thanks snowy! I think I will just have to dig out their macs... (the coat version hope things are starting to cool down for you now.

[SnowyMouse]

It should do tomorrow, they're suggesting 24 which is much more manageable for me.

[ColouringInQueen]

Yes 24 is a good temp

[ThatVikRinA22]

loving the new silverysooth

im back to work tomorrow - can you predict a cool day of peace and tranquility please? or does it not work like that!?

ive only got 4 days to work until im off an annual leave....cannot wait. i realised the other day that since April ive not had any time of sick at all, even though ive had another chest infection - dropping a shift makes everything seem much more manageable.

i think we are predicted rain here tomorrow - tbh while im loving this sunny spell its hard working in it with all the gear on....so im not too upset by the forecast of rain! plus the lawn needs it....would like the prediction for yet more sun after that please silvery!

[LEMisdisappointed]

Oh, i feel like such a shit :(

Awful situation at DDs school - we have been preparing a display/float/contraption thing for a local festival. To be fair it has been fun, but equally a bit of a nightmare - the nightmare being that the woman who took over the design went totally OTT and wouldn't be reined in, but equally has been unreliable about providing stuff etc. Anyway, the whole contraption that the display was to be carried out was a heath robinson affair to rival Heath robinson himself. This person has hurt her back and so i stepped in on her last minute putting the construction together, we are talking some pretty serious amateur engineering here! Anway, three of us, all day - finally gets it together, still worried about how the kids would move it (its huge, cumbersome and heavy) but it worked, um, until we moved it - then, twang, crash wallop, the tension is too much and part of it comes to bits - im like, ok, no worries lets get some bigger screws and screw it back down, but it just became apparent that the whole thing was going to be a nightmare and likely to collape mid parade :( I tried to look for ways to make it work but honestly, couldnt see any, still trying to be positive. The other two had decided by this time that it was just not going to work (and in fairness they are probably right) and that we should go with a contingency plan, which is very scaled down and doesn't use the impressive (but practically useless) contraption - I tried to argue the case a little bit but essentially agreed with them. Its not going to work and the festival is this weekend The teachers in charge put their foot down and made a final decision that it wasn't to be used.

Here comes the shitty bit - it is blatantly obvious to me that the woman who designed this thing has some severe mental health issues, alcoholism being one of them :( We called her up to tell her and let her say, you know what - lets go with plan b but as predicted she got shitty on the phone with my friend (i chickened out) and then another friend tried to placate her and got a load of ear bashing. Then cue my phone texted to death with how i didn't trust her etc etc, getting really quite shitty, i have ignored apart from sending texts in order to try and make her feel better, that we are still using the main design that she put together and it is still going to be bloody amazing. This woman is a brilliant artist but blatantly not so great as an engineer! I am gutted for her and said that i felt really upset for her, was worried about her as she has obvious mental health issues and i was quite upset really about how unsympathetic they were. No excuse etc etc :( These are nice people, but clearly have no idea about MH issues whatsoever. I am so worried about this person but am not going to be able to help her because, as i was the one who was in charge of things today, she has blamed me and got really quite nasty. Apparently she sounded drunk on the phone - was on some heavy duty pain killers but whenever i see her she stinks of booze.

Fuck - sorry, thats long but i only felt i could share this on this thread, a because it may "out" me and b, because i don't feel other people will understand my take on it. I know that this is going to be a major kick in the teeth for this poor woman and i feel partly responsible.

I am dreading tomorrow at the school as we have not choice really but to press on with plan B, i am up against it time wise as its my DDs birthday tomorrow with a beach party (please God let it be sunny) on Wednesday.

Oh, arse biscuits - how come i feel so bloody guilty when everyone else has gone "oh well its her own fault for designing something that was OTT, she should have been here today and not left everything til the last minute" she could barely stand she was in so much pain with her back, poor cow. They are not bad people but i feel sad and guilty

[TheSilverySoothsayer]

LEM because you have empathy, and that is nothing to be ashamed of. Someone said that a man's reach should exceed his grasp - so good on that woman for being ambitious, unfortunate that her design contravened the laws of physics.

[LEMisdisappointed]

In other news - im doing ok, i have been busy busy and anxiety quite high but ive had a good week. We won a fantastic prize in the school fete which means we will have loads of free days out over the next year - i was so thrilled i nearly cried! We already took advantage and have been to a local place that i have wanted to go for ages but coudlnt afford it - DD loved it. Also, have had some encouraging news from the fellowship that i had given up on, they want a meeting, an informal one to discuss the project and potential funding, although no funding in place the fact they want to meet can only be seen as a positive thing??? DDs birthday tomorrow then off to legoland. I am happy it is the holidays, althogh ask me a few weeks in and i may be looking forward to september! Looks like it has been a positive week for all of my fellow villagers - sorry, not going to do a name check, luff you all, innit x

[LEMisdisappointed]

Yep Silvery, that about sums it up, brilliant idea, sound (ish) engineering, lack of time, proper tools and resources to bring it to fruition.

[ColouringInQueen]

Sympathies lem that sounds like a tough situation, and a shame the design didn't work out. Really pleased for you re: your fete prize - lots of fun days out to look forward too...

Not doing so good this morning. Went out for some drinks last night with some mums from DS class. Started OK, buying drinks in pub with few mums inc couple I've been friends with for a while, they got their order, me still waiting so asked them to save me a seat, got to the table, they'd taken the last two seats at one end, so I made my way to the other. Fortunately I had someone opposite me this time, but could not get rid of paranoid feeling that they really don't want to spend time with me any more (same two that placed themselves at opp end of table from me last week). Did manage to have nice chat with one mum, but evening was hard work.

Had related nightmares all night and woke up feeling (and looking) knackered. Feeling rather low and hopeless at the mo. I have counselling shortly so will try and take a long route and get a walk in on the way. Kind of wanted one of the friends to make a comment about last night that might have led to a conversation where I was able to say how tough I'm finding the socialising, but no. I'm not 100% convinced they "don't want to be my friend any more" but since the beginning of the year when DDs leg was bad, and then me bad, they've paired off and do stuff together so I feel like a spare part. Didn't feel comfortable a lot of last night. Not like going out with friends - they are just women whose children are the same age as my DS (keep telling myself) and the one I spoke to was lovely (and interestingly into her art too). Do wish I found those situations less stressful though, still feel like the square one in the corner (like I did at secondary school) and struggling to get past that.

Anyway sorry for rant, hoping it helps to get it out of my head a bit. House is vv messy so might so half an hour on it before heading out to counselling...

[ColouringInQueen]

Or then again I might just MN a while longer...

[Fishandjam]

Hi all. I'm feeling a bit down at the moment - incredibly grumpy/weepy, feeling like I've no friends and that I'm a rubbish mum/wife. I suspect it's a result of two things - recovering from a (mild) dose of viral meningitis, and stopping my SSRIs because I felt better and that I could manage without them (yeah, I know, what kind of idiot am I). Gah. I'm back on the sertraline but I know it will take a week to kick in.

colouring, I know how you feel in those social situations. I do fine in small groups or one-to-one, but feel like a right spare part in anything bigger. It doesn't help that I'm a bit geeky and don't really like talking "girl stuff".

LEM, re the Heath Robinson float, you tried to help but it sounds like it was beyond help. No reason for you to feel guilty.