roll up for the village fete! move to our village if your 'fete' is to be happy!

[ThatVikRinA22]

6th thread folks....

keep talking/posting.

CiQ I thought you might find that you'd need a rest day - I certainly would if I'd been decorating and all the rest of the stuff you did. I think there is a danger of doing this with decorating - you want to press on and get it done. (The other danger is stopping and not re-starting). It can be tricky steering between the two.

LEM if your debts are already being managed by someone, I think you are supposed to turn all other debts over too, otherwise some of your creditors will think it is unfair - in debt management, we do a thing called an equitable distribution [old CAB person emoticon]

CiQ im sorry you have crashed - you seem to have done well over the summer, as did i. What is it that you think has set you back? I find having no plans for the day does my head in. I have cleaned like a demon in the bathroom today though so that was something, its never been so clean But i feel shattered, like i have been put through the wringer, i think its down to adrenalin from getting stressed earlier. but its definately the loneliness and lack of aim that is screwing me over.

How is the painting going?

Silvery - thanks - yes, you are right, however this debt is technically not anything to do with DP so could be handled seperately, however it may well be to our advantage to hand it over - im just going to wait and see what their next move is.

Thanks silvery you're prob right - I have had a busy 7 days. Just find it so frustrating. I have the woodwork left to paint, then its
Order wallpaper
Order bookshelf
Order fabric and make curtains
Order fabric and get quote for blinds
Reframe pics etc...

It will be lovely when its done, but I'm struggling.

lem I think tiredness is a big part of it. And massive frustration that I started something I was - and still am a bit - excited about and I can't seem to manage without getting knackered and overwhelmed. Want to be more able esp re things I actually want to do...

Well done on the cleaning btw! I haven't done any since wed and it shows!

Thanks for being there x

*lem

CiQ don't overwhelm yourself by adding loads of steps in your head before you've finished painting. You have the woodwork to paint - then the next step is: admire what you've done :)

I'm finding the more I clean, the more I notice stuff that needs cleaning - things that looked clean, now don't, because I've done the stuff that was worse iyswim .

But hey, had some people over on Sunday and they thought it looked great.

Look after yourself, CiQ, no point in crashing too hard, make allowances for yourself. Hang on to the compliment, silvery, an objective view is always good.

I've just been switched to 4-weekly blood tests from 2-weekly, which is nice.

I hope everyone has a good night.

thanks snowy and good to hear about your change re: blood tests.

silvery I know what you mean - now I've (nearly) done our bedroom it makes the bathroom and kitchen look even worse than they did!

Thanks for your kind words.

Not a great day tbh. Had a good session with my counsellor but have been so exhausted today. Did a bit of food shopping, had lunch, sat on sofa, picked dd up from after school activity, cooked dinner and now completely shattered. Its weird its in complete contrast to this time last week when I felt good had energy and motivation. I'm still keen to finish it but am physically incapable today!Don't really understand. Can't just be what I've done since then can it? That's a frightening thought. Really don't want to end up as frail and fatigued as my mum . Am not down though, just hoping I have more energy tomorrow.

Better day today Bit more energy than yesterday. Some interesting reading tonight - about fatigue being a common residual symptom of depression, physical, cognitive and emotional fatigue, which completely rings bells with me. I still dream where my legs buckle because they're too weak!

link here if you're interested

Hope everyone's had an OK day. Take care.

hi guys
posting and running - the thread dropped off my active convos list - cant have that!

will catch up with everyone tomorrow. love to all. xxx

Morning all.

I need to rejoin. I've fallen off the wagon.

I had a really good run. But I havr slept the last 2 days. And I am back in bed this morning, although admitedly I am feeling a bit of colour.

Hello. My name is ed and I'm a bed-aholic.

Ed when do you start back at school? Its natural for you to have a wobble but its ok. You want to be on full charge so you give yourself a break the wagon is still there waiting for you to hop on. Enjoy the peace!!!

Im really struggling. Just can't seem to take any control over my life had enough if im honest

I too have taken to my bed more than somewhat. However, my DM has been visiting, and I had people over for a buffet on Sunday and been doing various things. OK, this reaction could be my age [old gimmer] but I don't think so! I've always needed lots of recovery time after periods of activity - in the past I put it down to laziness and/or depression and sometimes it was! - but I now think it's part of the way my brain works :) Makes it hard to fit in round the rest of life though, when I had LOs or worked.

Hi Ed you are not alone in your bed addiction. Seems v wise though to make sure you're well rested before starting back at school.

I seem to be able to manage about 5 days of "normal life" then I'm completely wiped for a day/day and a half.

LEM (((hugs))) feel free to rant if it helps. I've been posting on the 3 good things a day thread for 2 weeks now and it is definitely helping. Worth a go?

Silvery sympathies re: the tiredness, but brilliant to hear about the buffet.

Ed, Silvery you might find this interesting re bed/tiredness

snowy how are you doing?

Better day today. Have finally finished the painting . Away for the weekend with friend and their family tomorrow which I am mostly looking forward too. Just have to shop and pack tomorrow and pace tendency-to-get-easily-overwhelmed brain.

Take care all x

Im never going to be better. im a shit mother pretending to be a good one. I fucked up and this is it now. I wish there was a pill

Lem talk to us. What's up?

I can guarantee you are not a shit mother though.

lem hang in there. You're having a rubbish week or so. And I know when you're in that frame of mind you can't remember feeling better or believing that you ever will. But that's one of the tricks of this awful disease. And when you do pick up - and I'm sure you will - this will feel like a bad dream.

The fact that you're even concerned what sort of mother you are immediately makes you a good enough mother - and that's all any of us need to be.

Thinking of you lots x

Im sorry guys. Just had my counselling appointment had a good sob and actually made my counsellor cry what a pair!!! Just a bad week and thats ok its allowed. My counsellor is leaving though not sure what to feel about that. I am going to be ok though.

How are you??

Don't apologise that's why we're all here. Glad you had a good cry - can't believe your counsellor cried too. Shame to hear she's leaving but maybe a new person will have some fresh approaches?

I'm just about ok going away for the weekend and the getting ready and packing is completely over whelming my brain

Hey ho at least weather looks nice

Aargh at packing. I have to lay everything out first, otherwise I am continually unpacking to check what I've packed, iyswim.

I had a look at that link, and I know I'm not residually depressed. I did used to sleep to get away from depression, but now, a year after Ex went, I am no longer depressed in the slightest! TBH I'm pretty sure it's smoking that's making me tired

And LEM I know that feeling, I remember feeling such a failure and crying and crying. But looking back, I can see that I was no such thing - I managed the minimal when that was all I could do, did what I could when I felt better, and have 2 lovely young adult DC.

hi all
I've been in a feel sorry for myself mode so haven't posted recently :( hope everyone is doing well sorry haven't read the previous posts.

so my psychiatrist is leaving & I don't really know how to feel about it. its not like we were best pals but he always do the right thing by me whether it was meds or giving the council a nudge to house me (me n my daughter have been homeless for a while). since hearing he is leaving I've not left my house as I've been so upset by it. tbh I'm surprised at my own reaction!

on top of that y'day we got a call that someone passed away. I must have mis heard the name & thought it was person who abused me as a child but it turns out its his older brother! of course it has bought back all sorts of rubbish & emotional memories. I've been in a right foul mood all day :(
I don't wanna talk to any1 & want to be left alone but of course that can't happen with a 3 year old around.

What I would do is sit and watch some silly kids TV with your DC. It either takes your mind off things, or if you are like me and can find metaphors in anything, you will find that Peppa Pig (or whatever) will have a resonance with your thinking.

thanks silvery we have been watching all sorts if cartoons all day but of course I can't concentrate on it I myt aswell b watching a blank screen! the trouble is everyone has been ringing each other for condolences (kind of a cultural thing in my family) so my family has been talking about it all day & I.wish I could just tell em to shut up!

Please can I have a handhold? CT left here at ten to six, and they are going to ring at 19:30 I think I'm fine for overnight, never mind 1.5 hours

awww snowy (big hug & hand holding)