I am a regular on MN but have name changed. Never posted on this board before.
I have had mental health issues for the last 10 years or so mainly manifesting themselves as extreme anxiety/panic attacks and triggered by stress usually related to financial issues ( as is the case at the moment).
I finally got some counselling last year which helped but for the last 2 weeks things have been building up and last night I finally lost it. I had been feeling an enormous panic attack coming on since the morning. Fortunately I work alone in my office so when I sit and stare into space for 2 hours at a time no-one really notices. I came home from work and then received a call from DH to say he was on his way and would collect DD. then the voices started calling my name and I became really scared and felt an overwhelming need to hide. So I hid in the bottom of my wardrobe in our bedroom. I stayed for about 3 hours. Not sure exactly. I could hear my husband and kids looking for me. DH took the car and drove around the village for an hour looking for me. I could hear him keep calling the kids on the phone to check they were ok and to give them instructions on cooking dinner. I could hear my own daughter in the room next to me lying on my bed and crying for her mummy and I couldn't move. I just sat and stared at the dark. Eventually the kids went downstairs to eat and I got out, banged the front door and pretended I had just come back from a long walk. I called DH and he came home. He look so scared and worried. I told him I was hiding from the voices and that they were very angry. he asked me where I was hiding and I said I couldn't remember. I don't know what to do now.
I have to leave for work in a couple of hours. We don't get sick pay where I am so I can't take time off. I lost £200 in Feb for being off ill with D&V and we still haven't made up the loss.
I feel that I have no control over anything and the voices are just getting louder all the time. Can someone please please give me some advice.