This is our Village, People! Need support? - Move In Here....

[ThatVikRinA22]

My Friends... theres no need to feel down
i said My Friends..Pick yourself off the ground
i said My Friends, cause youre in a new town
theres no need to be unhappy....


Our new thread folks (number 5!!).....i need to dash as im on nights but i will be back!
love to all. xxx

[ColouringInQueen]

Wife. .. Good grief no good on phone tonight!

[apatchylass]

LOL Queen

LEM - sorry you're down - from what you describe of bumping into that student you've come up with that hypersensitivity to situations which is part of feeling unwell (very familiar here!) rather than a realistic assessment of what they think and what they are going to do. Try to bear in mind how easy it is to feel overly sensitive. I have to tell myself that all the time (bit of CBT) and it helps me feel a bit less anxious and more rational.

[SnowyMouse]

The village sounds wonderful! Sleep well all.

[HellesBelles396]

Loving the walled garden and bluebell woods.

Are we saying, really, that what we all want is the typical (though rare) english village but with only peolle we like living there?

After church (felt guilty as I had missed several weeks but everyone understanfs and was lovely), ds and I splurged unnecessarily on sunday lunch at the local. I fell asleep when we got home but then headed into the garden. Much lawn-mowing (and plug-rewiring) and potting on later and I am feeling pretty good. This past week has been fantastic. I have felt so much stronger and so normal. There were times I was upset or anxious but they were reasonable reactions to negative situations. I still need to work on my self-control as I am still fattening myself up and overspending but I feel like I have turned a corner. I feel better than I have for years.

[ColouringInQueen]

helles

Night snowy

[LEMisdisappointed]

Helles - am thrilled to read that you are feeling good, that sounds like a perfick day :)

Am definately thinking this is starting to look like the typical british village. I'm sure there would be nothing typical about its inhabitants Just before we do get carried away with (and i so think we should) with our quaint little village, can i just ask that we don't have morris men - i have a phobia of those along with the picket fence thing. I blame edward woodward for that though!

[EdwiniasRevenge]

I would say stereotypical rather than typical ....

[ThatVikRinA22]

and everyone else just took the piss out of me because i stood up for her. i work with unfeeling bastards. i cant do it. it shouldnt be like this. everyone hates meand i make such an idiot of myself all th time. i got bollocked for not keeping written notes - iwas too busy holding her and talking to her and i thought that was more improtant.
but no. clearly not.
nothing has ever got to me like this before.

[ThatVikRinA22]

im going out for a cig. first(and only) one tonight. pissed off and fed up.

[LEMisdisappointed]

Oh love, thats just awful awful :( Its good to cry and get it out. It must be so hard to not be able to follow these things up, i understand your utter frustration at it. But you must know that this is not your fault. You have empathy and this make you good at your job - but so so hard on you. Im actually sad for your collegues that they have become hardened to it - don't ever let that happen to you Vicar! Hopefully she will be over crisis point and at a stage where she can access help? Being a health worker she may well know where to go? Oh, i wish i had the right words to say to you :( Have you had any sleep at all?

[EdwiniasRevenge]

Oh vicar

Maybe you care too much to be a successful police officer.

I don't think the force has the resources to have an officer tied up for 3+hrs for something that sounds as though it should be passed to another agency (mental health team).
I know you don't want to see her fall through the cracks. The people on the other side don't either.

Its a shame. A huge shame. Those cracks shouldn't be there in the first place. And do you know what...you kept her out of that crack for 3hrs. And if it was up to you I know you woukd still be there keeping her out of the cracks.

You put someone else first. That's in your nature. I guess your supervisors are just hardened to the way it is. The limitations on resources. That's not the way it should be. It's just the way it is. And you can't change who you are.

Rock and a hard place if ever there was one.

You did your personal best. Those in command of you were responsible for moving you onto another task. You did your best.

Hugs.

More hugs

And even more hugs.

[TheSilveryPussycat]

Did she get a proper assessment ie had been detained on a S 136 (is it?)

Sad to say the suicide rate round here is creeping up, I'm guessing we are noticing the effects of a v overstretched service

I'm going to stay right here, as my nice big newbuild won't fit in (despite the estate actually fitting in quite nicely into a little old ex-mining village). But I will drive over v v often, and I'm sure one of you will put me up if I need it after a visit to the pub!

[ThatVikRinA22]

no SPC because she was too pissed - mental health wont see anyone who is drunk or on drugs until they come down.
so she was held for another reason (with the best of intentions by the arresting officer who thought she would get assessed this morning after she sobered up)

and i kept telling her that.
and it turns out it was a lie because they just let her go without being assessed.

[TheSilveryPussycat]

Ah I see. Did she tell police she was OK this morning?

A similar, but different, problem often crops up in su involvement circles - people who know they are in a crisis (eg relationship breakdown or loss, eviction notice, or whatever), are not suicidal, but fear they might be - crisis team say 'it isn't a crisis'. And it isn't, by the criteria they have to work to. There seems to be some hopeful discussion taking place around this issue, but it is early days.

If you were a counsellor you'd have a proper supervision which would help with this; as a CAB worker, and when I was a volunteer, the Manager would provide support. My friend who used to be a social worker had to deal with things alone (things may have changed now). And it seems, so do the police.

You do need to find some professional detachment. That does not mean you do not care - far from it. Sending love.

[ThatVikRinA22]

im ok. i think. this is the only job thats had me in tears in 3 years so i dont think im so fragile that i cant cope....
its just frustrating and im seen soft because i can empathise.

i think im just on edge generally because of my court case next week. ill be better when thats over with.

im tired and emotional. no sleep today and came off nights this morning so i guess that isnt helping.

goodnight everyone - sorry for the whinge. im ok now - feeling a bit better and have at least stopped blubbing....

[EdwiniasRevenge]

Uggghhhhh

I had an absolutely awful nights 'sleep'

Uggghhhhh....my bones hurt.

I must have woke every hour.

I feel awful.

[EdwiniasRevenge]

And I've woken up with 21 bruises on one arm and 7 on the other.

I think I am being abducted by aliens in the night and beaten :(

[LEMisdisappointed]

Vicar, you say it was all for nothing, but its probably not - she may remember some of the kind things you said to her - that despite her screaming abuse at you, you were still kind to her, you still cared enough about her to listen, really listen and show empathy. You could have made more difference than you realise. You could do no more than what you did, hopefully she will access help herself today - lets hope so, but if she doesn't, well, thats not your fault and you must know that you did what you can.

Bloody awful nights sleep here too :( toothache reared its ugly head, i was already on high anxiouty status due to the college thing, couelnt concentrate on my book due to pain in face - took two zopiclone at 3.30am so am proper space cadet now. Resisting the urge to go back to bed as i wont sleep tonight but I am being a space cadet of the first order - goin to go and do some weeding in my garden, cloe my eyes to the mess in the rest of the garden and pretend im in my little cottage with the roses growing over the front door :) Still anxious +++ and only about level 1.5

Ed, i wonder what you were dreaming about to get those bruises :(

[HellesBelles396]

vicar it sounds as though you did the very best you could in a terrible situation. Hold on to that. You gave a clearly tormented soul three hours of respite.

[TheSilveryPussycat]

vicar should have said you did amazingly, and who knows but you have made a vital difference. However, if police put personal freedom by someone with capacity above a previous state of despair, then I think this is the right bias.

Mnd you, when the police had to take me to a place of safely 20 years ago, they could take me to the local hospital, where psychiatric assessment could take place fairly quickly. So not to a cell. I was psychotic, though.

[ThatVikRinA22]

hi all

im ok today, just tired. i couldnt get out of bed this morning and ive not gone to the stables.
my days off have been cut short this week so i think im going to do what i need to do and thats rest before im back at work. Im sad that ive not managed to get to my "happy place" (stables) but it is a full days work and i just need some time off.

ive reported my 2 posts that may contain a bit too much info on a third party. I wasnt quite thinking straight last night and although ive not given too much info its probably more than enough so ive asked HQ to delete those posts.

im feeling alright today - i think i was very tired and id forgotten meds i realised after wards - nights balls up my eating patterns.

im nipping out to pet shop for supplies then slobbing for the day. im hoping if i ask DH nicely he might tidy up for me.....

[NanaNina]

Oh I'm stupid, I was looking at the old thread and wondering why no one had posted! I've read through all the posts but of course can't remember who said what! To be honest I don't do well with these "virtual" things but I will try my best since you all like the idea, and yes the cottage is fine Basset

I'm a bit pre-occupied with health anxiety. Yesterday was horrendous with the "worry tape" grinding around my head. This is different from headmonster stuff (meaning crap days of depression/anxiety). Mind if I tell you? A couple of weeks ago I was out walking with DP and a lot of DIL's family and I noticed something on the front of my leg (small spot) and brushed it off but it started to bleed and someone had a plaster that I put on - didn't think much more about it, thought I might have been bitten. Then a scab formed over the spot. Yesterday morning I woke with blood on the sheet and there was an area on my elbow that was bleeding. That has now scabbed over. Strangely a similar thing on my other elbow - I have no memory of scraping or banging elbows.

Of course I consulted Dr Google and am thinking skin cancer (most common place for skin cancer in woman is lower leg - panic! Says any incidence of bleeding in the skin that is not the cause of scraping, bumping etc is of significant concern and need to see GP. My practice is awful for getting an appt (it's the phone at 8.00 am thing) and the phone is always engaged and when you get through there are no appts left, so made one on line with GP for 19th June (first one available with GP I trust) but don't know if I can wait that long now. DP is sympathetic but is convinced I have scraped both my elbows and haven't noticed, and the thing on my leg is a bite, and that's really not the case. He has been showing me tiny marks on his arms that he's had for ages.......aaargh! Sorry to be so self indulgent when others are struggling.

Basset I think you mentioned HA. I have had it a few times in the past. Once convinced myself I had throat cancer and other stuff.

I've lost track of the new people on the thread, but hello to you all. I'm not usually so self indulgent to take up so much space moaning about my HA. Phew trying to remember stuff .

Vicar you are so not suited to police work (as if you needed me to tell you!) I think you do have to "grow a second skin" to work in caring professions (I am NOT including the police here!!) because if you are so emotionally affected, you cannot help others. But you are so recently recovered from depression and so got plugged into this woman's emotional distress. I suppose the police are just working within their boundaries and to be honest it doesn't surprise me at all that once the woman was sober they would just release her. I'm not sure who they could have contacted.
I just remember when I was a social worker and there were so many things that we really couldn't do very much about. People living on the margins of society with financial problems, high rise flats, no family support, few friends, alcohol and drug abuse and domestic violence in the mix usually. We could remove the children if they were suffering significant harm, but had no resources to do anything for the parents. I often felt some young mothers needed to be fostered themselves. Children trying to bring up children......a huge gap between their emotional age and their chronological age. So we just "papered over the cracks" and once the child/ren would be moved, more would be on the way. During my time in SSD I saw 3 generations of families who were stuck in this cycle of deprivation and no-one has any idea how to break into it.

I know a lot of people advise going to A & E when feeling suicidal, but ime that is no good, as I did that when my last major episode in 2010 got so bad I had stopped eating and drinking. I waited 3 hours for the "crisis team" by which time my anxiety had subsided a fair bit and then saw a CPN and DR and they sent me home with diazepam! They did make a referral to the psychiatrist but I think this was just normal procedure for anyone they see "out of hours" - I was admitted to hospital 3 days after the A & E visit, and the DR came on the ward one day and expressed great surprise that I had been admitted.

I know you are anxious about the court case this week Vicar but once you have given your evidence (remember kISS - keep it short, keep it simple) you can leave the court and go and get yourself a treat, a big one, though not another rat.......please!

So sorry I can't remember anything else. Snowy how are you - any advance on a 2?

I am trying to keep occupied today to stop the "worry tape" - it's weird really because over the past 3 years I have wished so often that I would get something, so that I could die of natural causes, so that my loved ones don't have to cope with my suicide, and yet at the first sign of this I'm in a panic.