This is our Village, People! Need support? - Move In Here....

[ThatVikRinA22]

My Friends... theres no need to feel down
i said My Friends..Pick yourself off the ground
i said My Friends, cause youre in a new town
theres no need to be unhappy....

Our new thread folks (number 5!!).....i need to dash as im on nights but i will be back!
love to all. xxx

I want to ask my DP to come home, but he can't

Is there anyone else you can call? Have you taken the dogs out today - clear your head for half an hour?

keep talking lem, whats scaring you my lovely

Im scared because i dont want to do this anymore, i want it to stop and im scared because i wont make it stop, i don't want to have to keep getting up in the mornings. I'm scared of being here

Oh lem (((hugs)))) can you phone your mh lady back? What's your gp saying?

I phoned DP but he just told me to pull myself together and stop blubbing I cut him off, he cna't call back. I want this all to stop now - sorry, i shouldnt be doing this here

Dh told me to just switch things off the other day, it's not helpful is it? He doesn't know how to deal with it though. You have had a lot on just lately with your dd's situation and you made a big decision yesterday about work, then that long walk. Did you manage to sleep last night?

It will get easier, who posted yesterday about the graph, can you try visualising that with the peak then the trough? I have an app on my phone it's called headspace it's like a 10 minute meditation, really helps to relax an d focus your mind.

(((Lem))) could you ring them back and talk to them? I'm worried for you.

I'm also low, just had a SW (not normal contact) telling me she's coming to see me tomorrow, she wouldn't take 'I'm fine thanks' as a response. The last time I saw her was just before I got sectioned.

Hi lem what are you up to now? Hope you've managed to speak to your GP.

Sending (((hugs))) and x

Lem do you think it's the thing with your daughter that has made you feel so bad. It sounds like anxiety - and not made any better by your DP. Damn these people who don't understand mental illness - if only they knew how awful it can be. Don't apologise Lem - this is what the thread is for. Come back and talk. I feel anxious this morning too.

Snowy I know you don't like SWs or CPNs visiting, but you must let them in as if not that will "tick another box" for them if you see what I mean. You have been low for a long time now so maybe the meds need reviewing. It doesn't mean you are going to be section again.

GP just called and I just asked for more meds, told her i was ok (ish) She gave me two months worth this time. I didn't see the point of talking to her, what can she do? I am anxious about my DD, yes, but i have to trust that she will be ok, she is playing a dangerous game just now and not having any contact with her DP, but i can't interfere. I am also anxious about money as DP doesn't get paid til the 10th of july and we have bills that wont wait. We will get through it - can't help but think if i just had a job...........i don't know which way is up really. But enough for today, i feel a bit better, thankyou - i might just do nothing, i might go and do the kitchen, im hungry. Thankyou for being there xxxx I am seeing my counseller tomorrow so thought it best to wait til then, i'm in no danger today.

Snowy - returning the hugs - can we help? You care so much about others, you need to care for yourself too.

I know Lem I agree entirely that it's no use talking to GPs as they only dish out meds, and sometimes it seems like there is no-one who can understand how bad we feel. You're right that you can't interfere with your daughter, and you must try to take a step back - it will sort one way or the other. She's an adult and there are no children to complicate matters.

Money worries are tough too - best to contact the people who are sending bills, rather than just not pay. They are usually ok if they know you are in contact with them and intend to pay at a given date.

Hope you/we (Snowy too) improve through the day.............second what Lem says - you care so much about other Snowy but are so stoic yourself.

I don't know. Friends have said they're concerned too. It feels 'unfair', as other people miss group for weeks on end and don't get people coming round to their house to check on them. It is meant to be a drop-in. I also find it disempowering to get my views of being ok enough dismissed (by friends or HCPs). Tomorrow will consist of loads of risk assessment type questions, but they write what they want if I say I'm ok.

Do keep talking LEM

How's it going LEM?

Rant alert.

DD first communion sat. (It's a catholic thing - but imo one of the better bits of the rc church). last four years has been clear blue skies. This year, my DD forecast day of rain. Party in garden (which is looking fab this year) is a no-go. Allocated back seats in church. I sound like a kid but I just want to shout "It's not fair!!!!!!!!!" This is major day for DD - and for me, I've been trying my best to be OK for it all year. And I can't face a day of rain and trying to keep 14 kids aged 1-13 entertained all pm in a village hall or something Grrrrrrrrrrrrr

Rant over.

Friends worry Snowy, WE worry! but you know yourself better than anyone. I totally understand where you are coming from about your views not being taken seriously, just because you are ill doesn't mean you can't recognise your own feelings. All you can do is be honest, but as nana said, just because you are struggling it doesn't mean a section, you were bound to struggle, maybe a medication tweak might just help?

Have been messaging my DD, i think she's fucked up big time, im seething at her friends but also angry at her DP. Trouble is, they both need to grow up - its difficult to stand back when people are behaving like kids when they are supposed to be adults.

Oh dear, CiQ (putting it mildly) Have you got any fallback plans?

Thanks snowy now trying to find a village hall - sending emails cant face phone...

CiQ, can you hire a disco? the kids will love that? I remember my holy communion dinner - we all sat in the school hall, had sandwiches, and apple and some jelly and ice cream! That was it. It will be a nice day, no matter what the weather, yes the garden party would have been fabulous but i am sure you can make the hall just as good - can you get in and start decorating maybe? Some bunting and fairy lights? nothing too elaborate? What food were you to be having in the garden? Does she hall have catering fascilities?

Back of the church is fine, you'll be able to see her as she parades round.

Oh thanks lem sorry the heavy grey clouds here have got to much for me. Good idea re disco - will ask dh to do a Playlist like he did for ds birthday which worked well. Yes have bunting just need to find a way to hang it - nothing obvious in Hall photo. We are having curry delivered so that ok. Think I will have to ask friends with kids to bring some games etc with them I think. I just have to get over the fact it will not be as I've been imagining but it can still be good.

What are you up to now?

Oh my word.

I've slept all morning and the poor residents of the village.

lem the decision not to look fkr work is the right one - for now. My therapist was telling me that by giving myself a list of jobs to tackle each day I was failing before I have even got out of bed. With DD its hard. From the outside you can point out the childishness etc. Just like I have said to vicar. This is your dd's life. You can try and guide her in her choices but you can't make them for her. What you can do is watch from the sidelines and be ready to offer unconditional support if and when it is needed.

snowy huge hugs. When is your CPN back? Do you think that is what has caused you to fall backwards? That would make sense.
Could you describe what you are finding hardest? Maybe we can help with a strategy which would help with the SW? I'm thinking something along the lines of tge following (dependent on the scenario - I'm using my own example)

It has been harder without my cpn (you aren't lying and raising red flags by saying 'I'm ok)
For example (you are now talking on your terms)
I found that I had stopped opening my mail (you are givinv her a problem you are comfortable talking about. You are admitting that things arent all 'ok' but - most importantly - that you can recognise this and identify the short comings.)
Without my cpn I have had more support from my friends (ok its not professional support but it shows you are not isolated and have a functional support network).
Every time a friend popped round they sat with me while I opened the mail from the last couple of days. (The problem I identified isn't a problem any more because I have found a solution and have the support to implement that solution temporarily while my cpn is away).

Let us know if we can help you with anything.

ciq it will be ok. The weather isn't the most important aspect of the day. The ceremony is.
You will be a proud mother and then you will go off to the village hall to celebrate. How were you going to entertain the kids in the garden? Does that have to change? I assume the parents will be there so the children will need to be entertained but not by you on your own. The kids will love the space. If need be, and if you have yhe budget could you give out little party bags of entertaining goodies. Ive seen this done at a wedding to entertain children through the speeches and it worked really well. The goodies are new to the kids so keep their attention better than yoys from home.

Hugs to all that I've missed.

Right I need to do the kitchen...don't think I've done it since Sunday. ..

It sounds like it will be brilliant - the delivered curry sounds amazing too - Playlist is good, can you maybe get a disco ball or soemthing from argos? definately bring the games, they will love it, although im not so sure about twister in communion dress :)

I'm ok, DP rang and made me feel a bit better. DD is driving me nuts but i am going to have to just let her get on with it. Im knitting and have a face because i dont like the wool now. DD2 does like it though so thats all that matters - now just have to find out how to join colours not as easy as i thought! not got to that bit yet. Still feel flat but have chatted to DP about the work thing and have agreed that maybe it would be sensible to think about work in september and have the summer holidays with DD.

lem yes - have cousin with disco ball! Curry is DD fav meal! twister.

Glad you've got to speak to DP and sounds like a good plan about having the summer hols with DD.

Ed yes could do goodie bags but am trying not to spend loads... games etc we already have. Will have a think. Hope you're feeling the benefits of your sleep.

take care all and thanks again for advice and support x

I'm finding it easier without CPN, no awkward questions. I really want them to leave me to it, but they wont do that. It still feels that they're treating me differently to most of my MH friends...

I hope the party goes well CiQ

Hi everyone, I don't think I've posted on this new thread yet! Hope everybody's doing OK today.

CIQ, congratulations on your DD's communion! I hope you all have a great day. Have you secured the hall for the day? After my holy communion (a thousand years BC), we just had wee ham sandwiches and extremely watered-down diluting juice in the church hall, but we had a brilliant time running around in our fancy clothes! A wee disco, curry, games (good idea to ask friends with DCs to bring games) - that sounds like a great day to me.

LEM, I'm so sorry to hear you've been feeling rotten. Don't worry about the work thing right now - the fact that your DD will soon be on her summer break is reason enough not to look into it at the moment.

I've been feeling a bit crap this week after seeming to pick up over the last 2 weeks (after an increase in Sertraline to 200mg). I can totally see why, though. Like an idiot, I drank 4 large glasses of wine (definitely more than a bottle) at a friend's leaving do on Sunday. It was very crowded, noisy and there were lots of people I didn't know, so I stupidly got carried away. It's definitely affected my mood this week as the nasty thoughts feel stronger again and I feel like a bit of a cloud's descended. But at least I can make more of a solid resolution to keep away from drink now. I was crying over Honey Boo Boo (I know... ) last night and was in floods of tears with my therapist this morning. Everything just seems to scary, too frightening. But I hope it will life a bit soon.

Hope everyone's alright today. x