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that light at the end of the tunnel isnt a train....stay on track!

970 replies

ThatVikRinA22 · 02/05/2013 23:31

thought we had better have a new one - old one nearly full. Think this is our 4th thread now....

linky to old one here

so, here we go....title a little more optimistic than i feel but im sure i will get back on track soon.....not doing bad particularly, just feeling a bit consumed with things....work is so intense. id forgotten.

anyway....nuff of me. over to you guys....
hope everyone manages to find us to say "hi"....welcome old and new.

OP posts:
ColouringInQueen · 08/05/2013 21:34

Gracie I have washed the lunch box stuff. Your turn x

bassetfeet · 08/05/2013 21:37

Gracie come here you and have a cuddle . You are so not worthless.
You are not pathetic at all.
You write very eloquently and with a lot of insight ...your love for your little girl is so evident and very real.
You sound so lost and so sad . All of us here do understand how despairing you feel . The Suic word ........

Gracie call the team eh? Keep talking .......even if you just write here it helps to get it out and one of us will be around or on your other thread .

I PROMISE YOU [and dont say that lightly] that you will recover and feel better . You will not always feel like this .
I thought I would never ever recover some decent life and I did . And you will too .

just made a cuppa .here Brew. xx

bassetfeet · 08/05/2013 21:43

Actually have made large earthenware pot of the best Pg Tips

so Brew all round ........CIQ you deserve one for lunch box washing x

LEMisdisappointed · 08/05/2013 21:53

Yorkshire tea here :) the only obstacle is persuading DP to go and make it for me!!!

working9while5 · 08/05/2013 21:58

Hi
I need to join in. I am having a crappy week. I am sick of having OCD. I haven't had active symptoms in ages but the last few days I am "off" in my head much more again. Nothing specifically anxious really, just feeling that feeling that everything isn't quite right and that urge to stop myself from thinking.

Have been doing a Mindfulness course and I am finding it hard going even though I have been doing Mindfulness for well over a year now, probably like 15 months. I'm on mat leave and was due back this week but have been signed off until end July. The day I was due back was just so beautifully glorious but I just felt that heaviness, the weight of a stone inside me. I am feeling a bit disconnected from everything right now apart from the kids and dh which is actually a blessed relief and much better than it was a few months ago.

Dh gets very watchful when I am "distracted" and I hate his anxiety about it . I have been doing a lot of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy stuff so I am forcing myself to do what I value and spend time with the kids and be present as much as I possibly can but it is hard and tiring and it interferes with my ability to do Mindfulness as I am so bloody exhausted. Psychiatrist tomorrow, I am always practically climbing the walls before I go there. Ugh. I know I always sound a million times worse than I actually am when I talk to them too because I get so anxious about just actually being in the building. I've tried to explain this but it never really gets heard.

Anyway, hello. Sorry for just bursting in here but I just had to let all of this out somewhere.

bassetfeet · 08/05/2013 22:00

Ah LEM I send Yorkshire Tea bags [decaf] to my elder son abroad so often . I think he likes the pic on the box .
gently kick DP ........then harder..........Wink.

LEMisdisappointed · 08/05/2013 22:15

Had tea AND cake Grin was nice

Hello working - are you on any meds? Have you considered that you might have PND that is exacerbating the OCD? You say you are under the psych so i would assume they will have ruled this out. Be kind to yourself and don't worry about freaking out tomorrow. What is it about being there that triggers you?

ColouringInQueen · 08/05/2013 22:29

Thanks Basset have a Biscuit with your tea Wink Yorkshire Tea or Typhoo will be perfect Smile

Hi working that sounds tough, but also you sound like you're really tackling it head on - well done I can well imagine its knackering. Glad to hear you've a psych appt tomorrow - hope you find it helpful. Take care x

working9while5 · 08/05/2013 23:27

LEM it is a LONG story as to why it triggers me. Basically to cut that very long story very short, it involves my previous psych storming out on me in our last review and the CPN ditching me (last phoned me in November) because my baby went from 91st centile at birth to 0.4 centile and everyone thought my ongoing concerns about his weight were, well, OCD. I complained and had no response. I have a new psychiatrist now who is much much nicer but just being in the building makes me itch slightly. I was pretty lucky in that I had an excellent CBT therapist who was on board when all this happened and really advocated for me in a meeting so I have made good progress in moving on from it but it was all pretty difficult at the time and I am still a bit shocked by the behaviour of those two.

I'm on 100mg sertraline but they were keen for me to be on higher - initial psych aiming for the 200mg maximum dose but I am breastfeeding and wasn't prepared to go much higher than 100mg because I'm not particularly symptomatic and higher than 100mg can show up in breastmilk. It's okay and generally I don't really feel my OCD/symptoms are "about" chemicals in my brain, I think they are very much learned behaviour based on my history and personality to an extent (very academic/precise etc) so I am keen to work with it behaviourally rather than through meds. Just sometimes I would rather stop the world and get off as I guess we all feel sometimes Smile

LEMisdisappointed · 08/05/2013 23:30

I'm sorry you had a bad time working, I hope that they manage to get you back on track soon. x

EdwiniasRevenge · 08/05/2013 23:32

Wow....so many newcomers. Can I welcome you all with a massive group hug Gracie, working, glabella and of course we must include all of the 'old timers' nana, silvery, snowy, mama, helles, hoochy, vicar, LEM, ciq, basset, UA and all lurkers.

The thread has moved on so much today and I am feeling a bit spaced out so apologies that I have largely lost track. I just want to send an extra special hug to UA. You are living the life that I was living this time last year. You are in my thoughts and you MUST take care to look after yourself both now and over the coming few weeks.

Quick summary of my day.

:) washing in machine.....but it is still there :(
:( morning nap....but I needed it :)
Had a long soak in the bath :). Finished my book :) put my summer dress on even though it rained a lot :(
Cup of tea and gossip with a friend :). Talked into continuing with Brownies until end of summer...

House is still nowhere near fit enough for a sleepover....and my coccyx is still nowhere near fit enough to drive to to Bournville at the weekend. My mind and body needs a break from DCs....its been a long 3 weeks.....

Anyhow....off to bed....need to pop to town tomorrow.....need to blitz the house........

EdwiniasRevenge · 08/05/2013 23:35

Oh and I have been very very very short tempered with the DCs....really sniping at them for minimal reason.....:(

ThatVikRinA22 · 09/05/2013 04:38

morning!
just nipping in to say welcome to the newbies and i hope you find this thread useful!

nana - im still here - i just thought id use the other place as and when i had some news on the complaint but so far i dont.....

i should have been in a few hours ago but got stuck on a job at work. so im just having a bite to eat and drink before zzzzzzzz time....my jewel ratty girls are all out playing so i may need a cuddle before bed....i got them a new toy today but they havent had a free range so they seem a bit desperate to get out of the cage! (despite all the toys!)

i think, im feeling ok. ish. im a bit rusty on some stuff at work - and ive done my back in again....but im ok and am managing to have a laugh and a joke at work.

also did some good work tonight - thought someone was going to kick off and managed to talk them down completely.....i feel less self conscious about how i handle things, though im still pants at the paperwork.....

also had an update from uni regards the assault on DS. I think the cops there have got it wrong (they have omitted to do something that they should have because it would have been filed under "slightly harder work" but i will give them the benefit of the doubt until i find out otherwise - but they better watch out if they think they are doing nothing with it....they havent followed a certain procedure that i know they should have. (insider info is quite useful sometimes)

anyway. i should have a cuddle with my ratty girls....dog is curled up next to me and the cats are on the prowl....my days off are in sight. nearly.

OP posts:
sarahjayne11 · 09/05/2013 08:05

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EdwiniasRevenge · 09/05/2013 09:15

Morning all.

Feeling very bleugh today. Very nauseous today...something I ate type nauseous which is going to slow me down.

Good to hear that you are feeling more positive about your job and in particular your capabilities vicar.

Just about to wash up (saturdays stuff... Hmm Blush and then head into town for a bit...

LEMisdisappointed · 09/05/2013 09:18

Grrrr - feel pants again today :( Will have to force myeslf to do something, bloody agency haven't got back to me, i'll have to ring them.

Hugs to everyone - when does this get bloody sodding better??? I want to go out on my bike but im too fucking scared i'll find myself in the middle of nowhere and have a panic attack :( Also, to be fair its a bit windy, and i don't like cycling in the wind.

ColouringInQueen · 09/05/2013 09:26

Hi everyone. Sitting in college car park trying to find energy and bravery to go in lem I echo that feeling of how long. Did school run again and its draining. Dh bit better which is good. Even he admitted last night he was wondering if he was having a relapse so wasnt just me - he had that look in his eyes. .. Hope everyone's day improves, take care x

LEMisdisappointed · 09/05/2013 09:32

CiQ, do you think your DH should go to the doctors? If he is worried? Nip it in the bud? Is he on any medication?

ColouringInQueen · 09/05/2013 10:00

I will see how he is at the end of today thanks lem. I think despite yest panic it is a flu type thing. He's on sertraline. In college getting my head round painting a big sky. .. Any thoughts about what you'll do?

LEMisdisappointed · 09/05/2013 10:16

I need to take the dogs out, the sky here is, well, dramatic which doesn't bode well for my walk. I wish i was creative - i have a real blueeghhh on all things like that, i get scared (what a fucking disaster area i am) I think if i make the house nice i'll lose it. If it wasn't that it would be something else. Oh well, wheres that dogs lead..........

Ed be nice to yourself today, could you crochet a blanket? someting ambitious?? I so need to learn how to do this.

Right, the dogs have read my mind and are being lunatics, here goes.......

EdwiniasRevenge · 09/05/2013 10:26

I'm currently crocheting a bag (the white lacy pattern on my pics) but will be blue.

I'm heading into town so I can get some green wool to make luigi and yoshi Grin. Dtds have a sleepover so I will be able to hide in my bedroom and hook away...

Done most of my washing up...some of the mould made me gag when I was already feeling ill.

Also need to go to the library and primark which sods law are all in different parts of town.

hoochymama1 · 09/05/2013 12:23

Hello! lovely hugs to all on here,CiQ Basset Snowy Vicar Working and Gracie.

Windy here too, Lem. I know I should exercise but the thought of swimming or walking panics me atm.

Ed when I was ill before what absolutely helped was my knitting (yeah, the jumper didn't fit my daughter but it was so relaxing Grin)

I was allowed to come back from placement early today to do uni work, just finished a unit - yeay! I was so scared that sertraline would fuzzy my brain but it seems fine for academic stuff (it's just all the rest..)

Bit scared, being observed tomorrow in placementShock. This was a trigger for me for last big bout of depression, but the practice assessor is lovely and so laid back.

Also seeing GP first thing tomorrow. I find it really hard to think- am I better? Do I need more Sert? A different A/D?Confused
I feel really crap sometimes, but times of feeling ok too.

I think it's really important to ask for help, but that takes courage too. GP's CPN's crisis teams all get paid to do their jobs, we are their work. It's the creaky hinges that get the oil, so ask for help.

I really think it's hard when DP's are ill too- mine has MS Sad and I spend a lot of my time worrying about him, but often he's ok, and it's me who needs the help.

Off to put the kettle on, whose for another Brew andBiscuit ? XXX

SnowyMouse · 09/05/2013 13:39

Good luck with your observation, hoochymama1, I remember getting nervous over that. More knitted creatures sound fun Ed. How was the walk LEM?

NanaNina · 09/05/2013 14:15

Oh CiQ I had no idea that things were so bad for you, maybe because you don't say so! Your story mimics mine in many ways, in that your depression and anxiety was building up over many months (and incidentally the same period as mine, the autumn months) and I too conked out in January but started seeing psychologist instead of going to the GP for meds. Ended up with admission as IP in March of that year (2003) Thing is for women (especially women like yourself with young families) we are the "glue" that holds everything together and that's what I thought when I read your backstory. In a way it's probably a good thing that your mind and body yell "No more" and you cannot function any more.

You say you are improved now but you still suffer from dep/anx, exhaustion and negative thoughts (am trying to recall now because your post was on the last page and if I flick back I'll lose this post! It doesn't sound like you are really much improved to be honest. Is your dosage right - maybe another trip to the GP or something could be added to it. Mind I think it's only a psychiatrist who can do this as IME GPs are not sufficiently qualified to "mix and match" ADs!

What are you doing at college C - is it the painting course you mentioned. Hope it isn't something that's an ordeal. I can't help thinking you need more help, change of meds, increased dose, are you maybe under estimating how bad things are for you on here, or am I just not noticing.....

Gracie You have some comforting words from the wise and lovely Bassett so I'll be brief. It isn't a competition love and we all go up and down and that's why we're here, to support each other. Are you opn meds, if so are they right ones for you, right dosage etc. Have you been referred to a psychiatrist?

Lemwhy are you ringing agency. I thought you had agreed with your DH that you wouldn't be looking for work while you are still feeling so crap. Sounds like you are fluctuating (the bloody curse of mental illness!!) but maybe going back to GP would be better than looking for a job. I know you are worried about money but you did say it was manageable.

Ah Snowy I have never heard you say you feel really flat. I think you have some kind of psychotic illness from time to time but is there an element of depression too, as that in my experience causes us to feel so flat and empty. How is the sociology module going?

Nice to see you Vicar and that you are feeling a bit more positive about the job and can even give yourself a pat on the back for managing to "talk someone down" - that'll be because of your "people skills."

Oh Ed you always make me smile "the queen of crocheting" - thing is it seems to be helping so much, as you are so enthusiastic about it, and on a mission to get more wool, and that means enthusiasm which is something we lack when depressed. I can't crochet but I do knit and with such lovely wools about now hand knitted things are so much nicer. I only knit for babies and small children (and we have 4 under 3's in the family at the mo) so I am kept busy. I'd never finish an adult garment!

Hoochy Hi - I see you find knitting relaxing, not that you'll have much time for it these days! Hmm being observed can be an ordeal but so much depends on the assessor and as you say she is lovely, you should be fine. Are you being observed in an interview with a service user? I had a lovely student once (when I was a tm mgr of a F & Adpt team) mostly she went out with team members to get experience as it was her first placement. I did an observation interview with her. The case was a young lad in a teenage foster home and the interview was just about how he was getting on in the placement and feedback he may have about the carers. Now teenage lads are not the most conversational of people and it went from bad to worse and in the end he turned to me and said "Nina WTF is she going on about" - we left soon after and when we got in the car she asked me if it had been ok and I said "no it was bloody awful" and then we both fell about laughing! I realised it was more my fault as the interview needed to be more structured, but I knew she would make a good sw, so my write up was a little creative!!

Wow GP and observed interview on same day - I know so well about the question "Am I ok or not" I ask myself that every single day. You have picked up something very useful from the MH team "it's the creaky hinges that get the oil" - SO everyone on this thread, please take note, as we actually have someone working in a MH team

Ask for help as it's the creaking hinges that get the oil .......it took me 3 years to ask for more help and so far am doing well on the addition of different ADs to my prescription.

Hope I haven't missed anyone

LEMisdisappointed · 09/05/2013 14:15

The walk was good, thanks Snowy - quite a long one and my dogs were great, so funny, i ended up walking to the cemetry and visiting my dad (i still can't get over the fact that i have to see him like that :( ) I felt bad because the grave was really overgrown with weeds among all the lovely narcissi and pansies, so i gave it a quick weed and a dig over with the cake slice Hmm that i have up there to dig it with - i don't know why i have a cake slice on my dad's grave, but there you are. It looked really nice when i left. One of my dogs had slipped his lead i didnt realise, but he just lay down behind me - my dad would have loved my dogs, even if they are Jack Russels, he didn't like them, he would love mine, such good dogs. Came home and hung washing out, strimmed the garden - there is still a growing pile of washing up in the kitchen and the dishwasher is buggered again, i suspect there is something stuck in the pump but i can't be arsed to bail all the scummy water from the bottom of it - i'll put that on my "to do list" that never gets done Feel exhausted now. So going to sit here for an hour and do nothing until school run time.

Anxious +++ :( but the walk helped :) a bit.

hoochy I couldn't have walked without my dogs, i get very panicky if i am anywhere away from home with no reason. If ihave a reason to be there i would go to the other end of the country on my own, train etc, no problem so long as i had a reason, if it was just for the sake of it, i would have a panic attack. I took DD to london one day, just for the sake of it, that was hard. I love london, but i need a reason to be there. Even when im with DP. I should go swimming but i can't justify spending the money just now. I need to make appointment to see my GP, i know Nana will nag me if i don't Grin but i just dont know how to explain things when im not rock bottom - when im rock bottom she knows becaue i just sob.

Ed I am going to make an effort to get knitting again, i keepsaying this don't i. I should though.