Oh CiQ I had no idea that things were so bad for you, maybe because you don't say so! Your story mimics mine in many ways, in that your depression and anxiety was building up over many months (and incidentally the same period as mine, the autumn months) and I too conked out in January but started seeing psychologist instead of going to the GP for meds. Ended up with admission as IP in March of that year (2003) Thing is for women (especially women like yourself with young families) we are the "glue" that holds everything together and that's what I thought when I read your backstory. In a way it's probably a good thing that your mind and body yell "No more" and you cannot function any more.
You say you are improved now but you still suffer from dep/anx, exhaustion and negative thoughts (am trying to recall now because your post was on the last page and if I flick back I'll lose this post! It doesn't sound like you are really much improved to be honest. Is your dosage right - maybe another trip to the GP or something could be added to it. Mind I think it's only a psychiatrist who can do this as IME GPs are not sufficiently qualified to "mix and match" ADs!
What are you doing at college C - is it the painting course you mentioned. Hope it isn't something that's an ordeal. I can't help thinking you need more help, change of meds, increased dose, are you maybe under estimating how bad things are for you on here, or am I just not noticing.....
Gracie You have some comforting words from the wise and lovely Bassett so I'll be brief. It isn't a competition love and we all go up and down and that's why we're here, to support each other. Are you opn meds, if so are they right ones for you, right dosage etc. Have you been referred to a psychiatrist?
Lemwhy are you ringing agency. I thought you had agreed with your DH that you wouldn't be looking for work while you are still feeling so crap. Sounds like you are fluctuating (the bloody curse of mental illness!!) but maybe going back to GP would be better than looking for a job. I know you are worried about money but you did say it was manageable.
Ah Snowy I have never heard you say you feel really flat. I think you have some kind of psychotic illness from time to time but is there an element of depression too, as that in my experience causes us to feel so flat and empty. How is the sociology module going?
Nice to see you Vicar and that you are feeling a bit more positive about the job and can even give yourself a pat on the back for managing to "talk someone down" - that'll be because of your "people skills."
Oh Ed you always make me smile "the queen of crocheting" - thing is it seems to be helping so much, as you are so enthusiastic about it, and on a mission to get more wool, and that means enthusiasm which is something we lack when depressed. I can't crochet but I do knit and with such lovely wools about now hand knitted things are so much nicer. I only knit for babies and small children (and we have 4 under 3's in the family at the mo) so I am kept busy. I'd never finish an adult garment!
Hoochy Hi - I see you find knitting relaxing, not that you'll have much time for it these days! Hmm being observed can be an ordeal but so much depends on the assessor and as you say she is lovely, you should be fine. Are you being observed in an interview with a service user? I had a lovely student once (when I was a tm mgr of a F & Adpt team) mostly she went out with team members to get experience as it was her first placement. I did an observation interview with her. The case was a young lad in a teenage foster home and the interview was just about how he was getting on in the placement and feedback he may have about the carers. Now teenage lads are not the most conversational of people and it went from bad to worse and in the end he turned to me and said "Nina WTF is she going on about" - we left soon after and when we got in the car she asked me if it had been ok and I said "no it was bloody awful" and then we both fell about laughing! I realised it was more my fault as the interview needed to be more structured, but I knew she would make a good sw, so my write up was a little creative!!
Wow GP and observed interview on same day - I know so well about the question "Am I ok or not" I ask myself that every single day. You have picked up something very useful from the MH team "it's the creaky hinges that get the oil" - SO everyone on this thread, please take note, as we actually have someone working in a MH team
Ask for help as it's the creaking hinges that get the oil .......it took me 3 years to ask for more help and so far am doing well on the addition of different ADs to my prescription.
Hope I haven't missed anyone