that light at the end of the tunnel isnt a train....stay on track!

[ThatVikRinA22]

thought we had better have a new one - old one nearly full. Think this is our 4th thread now....

linky to old one here

so, here we go....title a little more optimistic than i feel but im sure i will get back on track soon.....not doing bad particularly, just feeling a bit consumed with things....work is so intense. id forgotten.

anyway....nuff of me. over to you guys....
hope everyone manages to find us to say "hi"....welcome old and new.

Done.

Couldn't keep up with the end though.

I had guessed lots of pieces of the puzzle but not put it all together.

I can most definitely see that one being made into a film.

Now I need to sleep.

Night all. Hugs all round.

just nipping in to say "hi" to everyone, old and new. (things move fast on this thread and im sorry im not addressing everyone properly)

tough night tonight - my hours are getting longer now and im feeling it a bit.

my part time work application keeps bouncing back (they make is SOOOO complicated.... and a colleague made comments tonight that suggest she isnt happy - hard cheese though because im doing it anyway - i find it hard when put on the spot not to start trying to justify myself....i started then stopped. its nothing to do with her.)

i need to get to bed really, i will go as DH gets up, he will be at work all day, (which is good as means he will be in over night for dd while im out at work) but we are ships that pass in the night.

looking forward to days off. Took delivery of a patio table and chairs today (except the chairs are faulty - looks like they have been dropped so cant use them until replacements arrive) so hoping its sunny enough to enjoy sitting outside....

right. am going to get a cuppa and some crumpets and read for a bit. (im reading Atonement by Ian McEwan - very good but heart rending....)

trying to sleep during the day when DD is home is a nightmare....she doesnt seem to understand that its my sleep time - despite being almost 16 she constantly comes into the bedroom looking for make up or hair spray or asking if she can hoover yet as her boyfriend is coming over

Im also fretting about DS....he has been offered that job down south.
the logistics of moving him will be nightmarish....and we now need to start flat hunting. Im pleased for him and proud of him but i will worry myself to death knowing he is so far away....(for newbies he has special needs...)

anyway. best go and get supper and a cuppa....gnite everyone. hope you all have a good day.

Well done on the book Ed - it sounds quite good, i haven't read a good mystery type for a while, maybe i'll look that one up. I am reading "the unusual pilgrimage of Harold Fry" just now, ive really only just started it and a few chapters in, it has potential to be a good moving read, but i am starting to think it also has potential to be slow and boring . I find that whilst i like the crime thrillers i get very upset by violence in films and books, I have been known to make DP turn things off like Lethal Weapon and such like, much to his frustration, they actually make me cry!

I have a new phone (long story, i didn't actually want it and not happy with DP about it - you know, end of contract, DP persuaded into shiney new phone and yet another two year contract - arggghhh) Its a samsung galaxy S4 my ordinary smartphone was fine, but this one is HUGE and new so i dont think you can get phone covers cheap so am going to knit one. That way i might start to like the phone!

WAs so so anxious last night and this morning i feel on a knife edge but not anxious, just irritable.

I hope you sleep well Vicar, and well done you for not justifying to jealous cow at work - you do what YOU need to do and the only person you have to justify your actions to is yourself! As for flat hunting - rightmove.com is your friend, you can do that from the comfort of your laptop, however it would be good to get a feel for the area as your DS is vulnerable. I think its pretty amazing about the job.

Hi all, lem my dh has an s4 - v good but they are big. I have an s3 mini which is a nice size. Usually on contacts you have a 14 day change your mind period of you really can't get on with it.

Sorry to hear your anxiety is worse today. I think school hols are demanding and for me the mental and physical exhaustion makes me worse. Hope your book improves too!

Yes 4 days of partying have caught up with me which is understandable. Knackered today and anxiety levels higher tho mood surviving so far. Grandparents round this pm and I have retreated to bedroom.

vicar I can understand why you're feeling worried about your ds - its a big thing at the best of times let alone with the extra challenges he has. Good for you for not justifying yourself to colleague. Wow atonement - not the easiest read

Right better go and join in a bit...

Take care all x

Hi guys.

I've had a pretty positive day so far

I've been to the butchers and have meal planned to the end of friday which makes me feel quite chilled.

Ive sorted the kitchen and washed up (from about weds)

Dtd2 has baked a golden syrup cake
Dtd1 is about to bake whoopie pies (using a cake mix)

I'm laying in bed with freezing hands and feet and very heavy eyelids.

I have an S3 and I lurrrve it.

Ds has been at uni for 3 years. I'm sure he'll be fine. Its still only a drive away. Yes its a slightly longer drive but it is still only a drive...

Well done Ed I do meal planning too and find it helpful.

Still raining here but think I'm going to drag everyone out regardless!

Hi guys,
dire day here, went to placement then came home at lunchtime. Actually did uni work this afternoon.

I'm reading total trash- you all sound so intellectual! Its a spooky Phil Rickman book about a woman priest whose a diocesan excorcist. Ah, also a book about the psychology of criminal conduct ( I am not a well woman)

A bit too energetic CiQ, but lovely splashing through puddles

Yummy cakes Ed!

Hope your feeling ok Lem I was really shaky this morning.

So good to hear about ds Vicar, it's like a roller coaster ride with these children, I find it emotionally exhausting. They are more resilient than we think sometimes though. Your a good mum.

Lots of love to everyone on the thread and those lurking. Keep warm and cosy

Hi hoochy sounds like you got a lot done despite it being a die day.

I can assure you my novel is badly a step up from chick lit - which I was on a month ago when brain was v useless! And hey - uni work wow.

Brain is fried now but aerobie with dcs and some grandparents was good. Cant think straight enough to get tea yet... hate to say it but cant wait til everyones gone home! Big headache. Hey ho.

((((All))))

I'm supposed to be going to my local Mind tomorrow to see what they do, trying to be open minded about it.

Good night all, wishing everyone the best.

HI everyone, I have been lurking a bit, haven't had a good night, I cooked dinner for myself and the girls and managed to convince myself I hadn't cooked it right, it took all I had not to say to the girls not to eat it :(, it was beef olives and I did them like a casserole on the hob for 2 hours, dd1 said it was good but I wasn't convinced as the sausage meat looked a bit pink (it was piping hot in the middle). On the plus side I made lemon meringue cupcakes and those are very nice. Am still sat here worried I have given us all food poisoning.

I am reading a lee child book just now, am on the third one of the jack reacher series, am enjoying it.

I also have an s3, it's great, much prefer it to my old iPhone.

Apart from dinner today has been ok, I made myself walk to the shops etc but felt dizzy again, ahhh I think I need rubbed out and drawn in again.

Hugs to all :)

Night snowy and good luck at mind tomorrow.

Hi notso your anxiety tonight sounds tough. I'm sure if you cooked dinner for 2 hours you and family will be fine. Honest. Serious achievement all that cooking - cupcakes sound fab! Glad your day was ok, and well done for getting out the house.

Must go to bed now too - feel surgically attached to sofa tho!

Night all x

Good evening.

notso You can cOok a whole chicken in less than 2hrs so I'm sure your sausagemeat will be fine. Pork of any sort tends to stay a bit pink in the middle whatever....think about a gamon steak! Cupcakes sound divine tho :)

hoochy a day cannot be dire if you have done uni work...

snowy would be interested to hear what mind do when you find out.

I had a reasonably productive middle of tge day but have crashed since I might have downloaded the candy crush update

Struggling a bit with tge shaking and nausea the last couple of days. Yhink its anxiety rather than side effects.

Sending hugs to all. Missing nana basett helles silvery lem and lots of others...

Oh and im pondering our next pets...I was researching rats
I wonder whos fault that is?!?

Just about level 3, I want to go back to bed Hope everyone has a good day!

Love my s3 though I hated it when I first got it.

Hair is cut into a less hide-behind-my-hair-able style.

No plans for today which is dire and bringing me down so I will have to make some plans. Set a schedule or I will sit the day away.

I hope you get on well today Snowy - impressed with the level 3!! Barely level 2 here, but that is only because i don't own any pjs!! otherwise id be level 1.

Feeling horrid - anxiety is at a physical level, knot in stomach, cant keep my legs still, although can still remain planted on the sofa. House is a mess, DD is being wonderful, playing with her lego on the floor and keeps making me little paper love hearts. I just want to crawl into bed. DD desperate to go swimming, i promised i would take her today so i can't get out of it, poor little thing, we did nothing yesterday. DP isn't helping, he is being a stress pig due to his work situation, he is trying but he is bein really short with me and i get all insecure and panicky, irritable and we end up being shitty with each other - feel like i have taken ten steps backwards today. Not good at all, really feel i have had enough, how much longer do i have to do this???

Hellesbelles, i am totally the same if i have no plans, it is when i am at my lowest. I'm gettin used to the phone although i already had a galaxy 1 or whatever it was called, it is certainly good for mnetting in bed i discovered this morning!

Waves to Ed and CiQ - Ed, i love ratties, can't have them here, my dogs will think its christmas! I have not done any housework :-( I need you to inspire me Ed!! no pressure or anything but i love your lists :)

Hi snowy well done for getting up! Hope the visit to Mind is useful.

Helles any thoughts about what to do today? What do you enjoy doing? Resting is OK too - any books about. Getting outside for half an hour if you poss can. Hope you get through ok. I have short hair with a long fringe which provides some hide behind capability...

I am heavy deep breathing to cope with increased agitation today - caused I think mainly by 5 very busy days. Have taken me and DD to hairdressers, and meeting friend and kids at softplay this pm.

Hi everyone else, hope you're OK. Apparently the sun's supposed to be out here tomorrow, so fingers crossed.

Hoochy, i love a bit of trassh to read, i am certainly not intellectual!! God forbid!

Unfortunately the access wasn't good. I've asked to join anyway, hope they get a small ramp.

I'm not sure I come under 'severe and/or enduring', but never mind.

Sounds a busy day CiQ, good luck with it. How's the schedule going HB?
How's everyone else?

Morning

My list for today

My kitchen looks like a bomb site
My conservatory looks like a bomb site
My garden looks like a bomb site
My landing looks like a bomb site
The dcs bedrooms look like a bomb site

Take your pick...

Oh Ed, im really sorry but I just literally laughed out loud at that list My kitchen is a bombsite to - um, i will if you will?

Anyway I have just had an email from my spider friend, one of the students at the college has written to him asking if they can volunteer there. They heard about him from me when i was at the college -apparently i made an impression - WTAF????? Anyway, there is also a potential application for my project and I have commited to going over there next week - what Have I done? I actually feel sick - i am going to have to open the bloody fucking folder now - shitting hell. Why did i say i would do that?

Ed - Shall we just clean the kitchen??

Now I am really shaking. And have the shakes. And I want to throw up.

I've just had an ultimatum from uni that I need to deal with

Do you want to tell us about it Ed? You know, i have set myself a bloody bastard deadline for next week too - we can tackle it together? Sort of? Holding your hand

It is from the admin person not my tutor.

I have to contact them by 1july due to 'non engagement with my studies'.

When I first read it I read it as 1 june which is only 2 days away so have calmed down a bit now.

I had a letter a month ago asking me to contact my tutor which I did. But I couldn't drive at the time (coccyx) and explained this. Time has just disappeared since. Birthdays etc. I can only focus on 1 thing at a time atm.

My uni friend was going to arrange for us to go together. But she never did. She has a lot of stress to deal with herself so I haven't bugged her. But I am worried about her. She hasn't been in contact for a month and I don't want to add moe stress.

I need to get up and sorr the kitcgen tho.

I am getting worse. I can normally stay out of bed when dcs are at home. But I'm still in bed. Dd3 is out but dtds are not.

I feel so ill again :( ; (