that light at the end of the tunnel isnt a train....stay on track!

[ThatVikRinA22]

thought we had better have a new one - old one nearly full. Think this is our 4th thread now....

linky to old one here

so, here we go....title a little more optimistic than i feel but im sure i will get back on track soon.....not doing bad particularly, just feeling a bit consumed with things....work is so intense. id forgotten.

anyway....nuff of me. over to you guys....
hope everyone manages to find us to say "hi"....welcome old and new.

Ed ((hugs)) that's an evil bug that you have - has been doing the rounds here. Resting is important (plus the whole fluids, vit c stuff) but like Lem says getting a bit of sun fresh air is good too. Really hope you're picking up soon. Sorry to hear about your counsellor - sounds like a similar approach to mine and it can be v frustrating, and as you say some strategies would be v useful. Can you go back to your GP after your last session and speak to her/him about the strategies side of things?

LEM the food thing's not easy is it? Hope you have a most delicious bacon sarnie. I had to raid freezer for the last of the fish fingers and chips to feed us tonight . Good to hear you have at least a small respite with your mum and that your counsellor is proving challenging in a good way.

Notso to hear you're feeling lonely. I too find it very hard to open up to people - there's really one friend I can be mostly open with but even that I find tricky as am paranoid she will get bored with me... Glad your DH is good even tho he's away a bit. I have to say I've found these boards re: helpful in being open about mental health stuff.

Off to get blanket now... and some chocolate.
Take care everyone x

I'll be fine.

I'm clearly a fraud.

I have a cough....but nothing on my chest. So just get on with life.

I can't stop shaking. I can't get out of bed. But I clearly just need to pull myself together and get on with life

You don't sound like a fraud to me. You sound like someone recovering from a nasty virus, who's also on the road to recovery from depression. The depression makes you think you're a fraud, but I really do believe that's part of this horrible illness, the self critical voice. Have you managed to eat anything this evening? Can you get yourself a cup of tea or something?

oh ed, i am sorry you feel so rubbish - you are not a fraud!

You were doing well the other day, have a read back - i wonder if this dip is post viral fatigue, it is bound to make you feel shit, not trying to trivialise, but hoping to make you feel you are still doing well.

Yeah I've eaten rubbish and I am drinking wine.

I am playing with jack sparrow on the wii.

hi ed

its hard to remember things when you are not feeling well, but your one and only friendship was very skewed to suit your friend - its hard and there is a grieving period.

you will get past this. i promise you, you will.

You are much more worthy of true friendships than you can see - you just havent found other people yet because you are isolated with the illness.

you will make other friends. you will. but while you are off uni and work placements its very lonely and very isolating and its very easy to slip into a routine that involves being alone.....

i hate hearing your so down. you are a lovely, warm, generous spirited person who has so much to offer, but the rugs been pulled from under you just now, this isnt for ever.

do what you need to do to get healthy - if thats staying in bed with us then fine!
when you next get out to tesco buy some soups....easy, but comforting and easy to eat, even when you dont feel hungry.

your friend wasnt doing you any good at all my love, she really wasnt, it was all on her terms and she took a great deal of advantage. Better to be on your own for a while than get those negative thought patterns emphasised by someone who wasnt really looking after your interests.

you still doing brownies?

Notso, I'm in exactly the same position with only having one friend I can talk to openly and being worried he'll get bored of me complaining... It's completely irrational as I've spent a lot of time listening to him talk about his own MH issues, but I guess it's just one of those things that comes with the disease It's made worse by the fact that I don't feel comfortable talking about it unless he brings it up, and then when he does I still can't discuss it properly because I'm terrible at talking about emotional things in real life, so now he's almost stopped mentioning it completely. But otoh it's the first time in about six years that I've had anyone to discuss these things with at all, so I try to count my blessings.

Does anyone else ever find you sometimes have a few good days, and as a result end up thinking you can't really be depressed and you're obviously making it all up for attention? Typical of my brain to find the negatives in feeling happy!

Sorry for not replying properly to anyone else, I'm snowed under with work at the moment. Will try to catch up tomorrow

Thanks vicar

I'm not going to hog the thread any more tonight.

I am still doing brownies. I missed this week because I was ill. And I felt good about that. Good because I stood up and let my health come first. Good because I let go of some control.

The rest of this term shouldn't be too onerous. We have 2 nice trips out planned which are all sorted so no planning for me. Last one requires no planning. Which I think leaves 2 meetings which I think I can cope with the support of the third leader who is now in the loop; very aware of the situation and shares many of the thoughts that I do around the challenges we face.

I feel that I need to speak to friend in the context of leadership team issues so that things can be discussed and potentially rectified before I make any final decisions.

Thanks for all your support.

Night all.

Oh and my plan for tomorrow....I'm going to head to tesco. Buy some nice soup. Nice bread and have a mosey around the out of town shopping centre. Not all day so it wears me out but so that I have something to do :)

tirAnna yes I feel exectly like that, if I have work I get all snappy and worked up the day before then at work am half normal, obv bright and smiley for patients and in my work I feel ok and I think am not so bad maybe am making mountain s out of mole hills, then the days off come and it all gets in top of me again. most of the time I feel like a fraud.

Whats everyones plans for the weekend?

I'm seeing family this morning, then going for pizza express. What are all o you doing?

I think am going to start my meds today and its such a lovely day here today so am going for a walk this afternoon with my mum amd the kids amd dog.

Sounds good notsoblonde

Feel ok today, it's such a beautiful day I'm going to get myself out for a walk and get the paper. DC are still asleep- the joy of teenagers. DH is out at work all day.
I love this thread.
It makes me feel not so alone.
Hope everyone has a lovely day today

Flip.

I've only just woken up.

I am about to run a bath...do a bit of preening...and hopefully still get out to tesco and the shops...

Hello everyone. I haven't posted here before but I used to chat in the SSRI thread a while back under a different username.

I just wanted to get some things out, and I hope it helps anyone in a similar situation. I've been taking Sertraline for a few months. I was on it before but I stupidly quit abruptly and went through withdrawal and then went downhill until I went to my doctor for help when I couldn't cope anymore.

I think the Sertraline has really helped but it's been a difficult road: however my moods are much more stable now and the side-effects seem to be less severe than they used to be. A permanent side-effect seems to be very vivid dreams now and I was really tired until recently. I think it's finally reached a good balance. I had to make a conscious choice about whether it was worth dealing with all the changes the drug was creating and I've realised it is, for me, but it took a lot of thinking and waiting and worry to feel as good as I am now. The dark patches and terror and mood-swings are under control, though low patches still happen.

For anyone who's started taking it or is wondering if they can manage with the side-effects, I will say that it's worth being patient for a while but much more important to go to your doctor and discuss what to do next if you decide you don't want to be on it anymore- withdrawal is not fun. And it can be very frightening to find yourself back in that dark place again and confused about what to do. For me, I think there's just something in my brain that makes these mood swings so vile and terrible to deal with, and finding the right medication and making some other changes has brought it under control. I feel safe in my own mind right now, which I never used to.

Phew, that was long.

Hi all. I'm exhausted, family visited me today, compliments on my declutter. I think 48 hours sleep is a plan (theoretical only!)

Welcome PlasticNumber5

Definitely collapsing on the sofa for the rest of the day!

Hi.

Feeling much better today after last night's wobble.

Had a bath. Dressed to level 3.
Been for a wander around the shops and done some bits at tesco. Got some fresh soups as instructed by vicar. Been out as instructed by lem. Think my day is complete. I'm going to have a take away later. Feeling a bit headachey now though. But I thinki might have a diagnosis. My neighbours dd has just had slapped cheek. Symptoms in adults include flu like symptoms...headache... fever sore throat...joint pain...spot on how I was last week.

Time to chill for a bit before takeaway. Hugs to all and thanks for the support last night.

Hi Ed I'm glad you're feeling better, slapped cheek makes sense. I bought a dress today as well as lunch.

I'm feeling calmer than I was yesterday.

Can I join you? Been reading messages for months but never brave enough to post. Battle depression, full-time job, endless demands, etc, pretty much the same as many. This thread is comforting and supportive, I can't always contribute in a positive way but am so glad you're all here

Welcome CitrusSun Do feel free to post, everyone's friendly here

ed glad your feeling better today. What takeaway you getting :)

plasticnumber5 welcome and thank you that post was helpful

snowy hope your having a nice quiet night.

citrusSun hello and welcome, I find this thread very helpful, as others have said you don't feel alone here.

Welcome plastic and citrus

I can't believe how much brighter I am feeling today.

Right. ..off to fetch...my singapore chow mein, chips and curry sauce.

Chinese is what I normally have when dcs aren't here because dtd2 isn't keen. They will all eat indian, fish and chips and pizza tho so thats what we normally have when we are together.

Enjoy your chinese :)

hi newbies!

funny you should mention the dreams plastic

im not sure the cause, i had rewind therapy and my counsellor did say i may have vivid dreams following that,

but i keep dreaming about my abusive SF, so far i have sprayed him in the eyes with pava, and last night i work up sobbing, i dreamt he assaulted me again, i had bruising all down my right leg, and a hand print shaped bruise on my left cheeck with a split in the skin,
i dreamt i phoned police (ironic!)
but i also dreamt that when i faced him i vomited (i woke up choking)

it was awful.

i keep dreaming about him - i am not consciously aware that i need revenge or anything, but in my dreams im facing him and making him pay.....but its painful. i dont really understand it at all.