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that light at the end of the tunnel isnt a train....stay on track!

970 replies

ThatVikRinA22 · 02/05/2013 23:31

thought we had better have a new one - old one nearly full. Think this is our 4th thread now....

linky to old one here

so, here we go....title a little more optimistic than i feel but im sure i will get back on track soon.....not doing bad particularly, just feeling a bit consumed with things....work is so intense. id forgotten.

anyway....nuff of me. over to you guys....
hope everyone manages to find us to say "hi"....welcome old and new.

OP posts:
SnowyMouse · 11/05/2013 11:51

((((((( UA )))))))

LEMisdisappointed · 11/05/2013 11:57

UA - big hugs to you honey, so sorry for your loss. It is hard to find the right words at these times. That is what they said to me and my mum when my dad died. You will have a busy week or so ahead of you, it helps in a way, but do remember to take care of yourself, eat, medicate and try and get some rest. I'm glad you had this time with your dad xxx

bassetfeet · 11/05/2013 12:06

hug UA . Thinking of you xx

NanaNina · 11/05/2013 12:15

Me too sending warm thoughts your way UA and hope that you will look after yourself too. I know this is going to be a tough call, but I've noticed your earlier post which sounded like you were really struggling.

Snowy why aren't you taking your meds?? PLEASE start to take them or you will be back where you started with a section in the offing. You have been saying how low you were and is this because you weren't taking meds, or the other way round, not taking meds because you feel crap, or some other reason. Whatever it is, I just urge you to take them. I know they zonk you out but that is better than ending up back in hospital. Sorry to sound harsh but I am thinking of you.

EdwiniasRevenge · 11/05/2013 14:12

Thinking of you ua

SnowyMouse · 11/05/2013 14:37

I took my meds as I should last night. Two months feels too long to stick it out, but that is what I agreed to do.

Thinking of you and yours UA

SnowyMouse · 11/05/2013 14:39

PS When I stopped my meds before, it was with permission. Yesterday I wanted to be awake enough to see my niece properly, as I wont for some time now. I know I should take them, there's no way I want to end up with an injection.

Glabella · 11/05/2013 15:38

UA so sorry about your dad, yes, do make sure to take care of yourself.

I managed to send a few emails yesterday- to my mum to tell her whats going on with me and why I've not been in touch, to uni about what to do about my course (they probably won't reply until Monday now), to some friends who I had plans with. Everyone has been very supportive and lovely, I don't know why but that surprises me. My parents are having dd for a few days so I can get myself together. DP is struggling, he doesn't feel he can leave me alone because I've been feeling like I would rather not be here. I hate even writing that. I don't think I will do anything stupid, but I feel really awful and a little out of control at the moment, so its probably sensible that hes keeping an eye on me. Does anyone know of any good resources or support for partners? I can tell its hard for him although he tries not to show it.

Today I am a bit better, managed to go to the corner shop with DP and only had to stop and breathe once on the way back. Seems like such a tiny thing but I haven't got up and dressed in 4 days so its big for me.
I have started writing again- I used to keep a diary and wrote a few poems and stories a few years ago and DP has encouraged me to carry on. It is helpful I think.

I am struggling with a lot of stuff from my marriage that I had buried away- realising just how abusive my husband was, how it affected me. That some of the things that I didn't want to think about were really quite awful and the excuses I made for him weren't true, and coming to terms with that is really hard. I am thinking of starting a thread in relationships for some help working through things, but I'm scared they will all think I am being pathetic.

hoochymama1 · 11/05/2013 16:13

Lots of love, Glabella we have www.thinkcarer.org.uk/ in Derbyshire, but Mind and Rethink do good carer support, and lots of info on MH.
You will find that uni are sympathetic and helpful, it is an illness like any other, and you just need to give yourself space and time to get better. Be kind to yourself, and use the help around. The GP can refer you to the crisis team for immediate help. They are good and will give you immediate strategies for coping. Writing is excellent, so is screaming and punching sofa pillows! Lots of love XXX

ColouringInQueen · 11/05/2013 19:46

{{{hugs}}} UA so sorry to hear about your dad, but I'm really pleased you were there for him. We'll be thinking of you and hoping you can get some rest and take care of yourself amongst all the other things that need to happen in the next few weeks. With love x

ColouringInQueen · 11/05/2013 19:52

Hi Glabella that's great that you've been able to explain to some people what's going on - I think that's actually an important step on the road to recovery, and really pleased you've had some good support. I hope your dark thoughts ease. Writing a diary is a really good thing to do to get some of those thoughts out of your head and onto paper can often weaken them too. I don't have any experience of abusive relationships, so can only imagine how devastating it must be. Hope you find some support in that area, and also its probably another thing you could write about (maybe separately and at some time in the future have a ceremonial burning of that notebook?). Take care.

Hi to everyone else. I made it to the baptism dosed up with lemsip etc and now back on sofa. It was good to have gone. And actually as social occasions go (haven't really done any this year) it was OK. I enjoyed it Smile My DD was great shimmying up this pole that supported the beams in the room we had - you'd never have known she'd broken her leg earlier this year Grin.

NanaNina · 11/05/2013 21:06

Hi Glabella - is this your first episode of depression - sounds like it might be, maybe the root of it being related to the abusive r/ship that you were in and stress of doing your final placement? Having said that not sure about medics. Do you have to do 2 years post degree before you are fully qualified.

I know exactly what you mean by "not wanting to be here" - depression is a torment, and it isn't that we want to die, it's just that we want the emotional pain to stopand that's the only way we can think to stop it. When I was at my worst last year I used to think if I just ran and ran and lay down under a hedge I would just expire and "not be here any more." It's called suicide ideation and it's very common in depression, but it does suggest that your depression is moderate to severe (here's me with my diagnosis.....and not a scrap of medical knowledge to my name) but I do have experience of severe depression and anxiety and I think to be honest that it is only people who have first hand experience who can understand. However suicidal thoughts have to be taken seriously as some 25% of people with severe depression do commit suicide. I was admitted to a pysch ward Easter 2010 and the main concern when assessing me for admission seemed to be whether I had made a plan (which I had) but didn't tell the psychiatrist that as I thought they may stop me doing it. I was admitted anyway but voluntarily, because my depression was so severe.

You mention feeling out of control and yes, we are out of control when depression descends. I don't know how it feels for you, but for me I feel totally flat, empty, have no motivation or interest, and other than that almost an absence of emotions. Someone here recently described feeling hollow, which resonated with me. When I am depressed I feel like a stranger has come and occupied my brain, my mind, and I keep saying to my DP "This is not who I am"......

Someone said on the thread recently that it was so good to be able to say to other sufferers that they were not able to get out of bed, as most people would find that very strange, unless we had some serious physical illness. For some reason the emotional pain seems to be a little less under the duvet. I also experience long bouts of crying, which actually give me some sense of relief, a release of tension.

I can't remember whether you are on meds or not (sorry) but if not you certainly need to be. You do mention seeing the GP again, so maybe you are. Does it feel worse for you because you are on the "wrong side of the desk" so to speak? I remember a social worker visiting the ward from time to time and he worked at the same place as me (LA SSD) but he was adult services (MH) and I was always in Children's Services, but we knew each other and I used to hide when he was on the ward!

You may well find more support in Relationships about the past trauma. Have you thought of therapy to help you unravel the past and the dread phrase "come to terms with it" - if so getting the right therapist is crucial. I am wondering if you could possible have a form of PTSD (here I go again with my diagnosing!) and if so there is a therapy that people talk about in glowing terms (EMDR) you would have to google it and Vicar on this thread talks about "re-wind" therapy and I'm sure she would be happy to tell you about it.

CiQ I have been "colouring in" most of the afternoon in my little garden room, and even managed to splash a few water colours about, as I am feeling tense and quite anxious today, sort of free floating anxiety, and messing about with felts and paint helps me to relax. So glad you managed to get to the baptism and glad you are feeling a bit better.

Snowy sorry if I was being too bossy with you about the meds and I didn't know you were stopping them so you could see your niece without being zonked out. Anyway I gather you are taking them again so that's good. 2 months does seem a long time before thet are reviewed, but presumably that is the time it takes for them to be fully effective, though I don't have any experience of the mental illness from which you suffer. Is there anything that you can do (not the sociology module!) like painting or felt tipping or something similar that could distract you when you are low, and maybe help relax you.

Love to everyone.

ThatVikRinA22 · 12/05/2013 01:04

just popping to see that UA may be in need of a gentle hug tonight. much love to you, do take care of yourself.(((((( (Ua))))))

will pop back tomorrow. x

OP posts:
GracieLoo · 12/05/2013 08:39

Just wanted to say sorry for your loss UA I've been following the thread but not felt I can give much input, but hope you all have a good day, this mh crap is so hard to live with, but it helps to know I'm not alone x

LEMisdisappointed · 12/05/2013 09:47

Gracie, i have been wondering about you - are you doing OK? You don't have to give input, but do feel free to ask for support, anytime.

Glabella, pleased to read your post, i posted a big long post to you yesterday but it seems to dissappeared into the ether.

My weekend has been ok so far (so far so good!) DP managed to grovel to the mortgage company, no arrangement but they are ok that we might get a bit behind while waiting for DPs wages to get sorted. The car failed the MOT but fortunately on relatively simple things which DP is going to do today, he is really good with cars and should have been a mechanic, i don't know why he didn't really. He said that cars and bikes were his hobby so it would have felt wrong with it being his job - weird attitude really, i mean, what is wrong with doing a job that you like? So i do feel a tad more relaxed now those obstacles are out of the way.

How are you feeling today UA?

Love to all xxx

TheSilveryPussycat · 12/05/2013 10:49

The danger is that you stop liking what you are doing if it turns into a job Confused .

That sounds like a sort of good but normalish weekend so far LEM.

Thinking of you UA

Unfortunatelyanxious · 12/05/2013 14:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SnowyMouse · 12/05/2013 14:32

((((( UA )))))

bassetfeet · 12/05/2013 17:56

UA sending thoughts and a hug to you . You must be exhausted .

So good to read that your son and his dad are supporting you with love and thought . Sherbet Lemons from your boy and a DH who loves you obviously very much . Smiled at him saying nowt about the footie.
In nice way of course .

Your friendship will survive no doubt at all x

Funerals are hard to deal with .. so amongst the grief maybe find some comfort in the stories of his life ........the music he loved ......and your memories and shared moments .
I am thinking of you . Look after yourself as much as you can xx

ColouringInQueen · 12/05/2013 20:05

[Flowers] ua How's your day been? So glad things are back on track with your friend. And sherbert lemons was a lovely moment.

How's everyone doing?

I am ok-ish. Did my thing at church and took dd out for some clothes shopping - I think the first time I've been in a shopping centre for a while. Haven't done anything since we got back - which is what I needed - but feel a bit bad as dh getting grumpier and grumpier with kids...

ColouringInQueen · 12/05/2013 20:06

Flowers ua

EdwiniasRevenge · 12/05/2013 20:14

Still thinkung of ua.

I have had a rubbish day.

Sleepover went surprisingly well. But have been in bed since everyone left. Had a nap.

Was supposed to be going to a friends for wine but she cancelled on me due to sick children.

But ive decided I want to watch the inbetweeners movie at 9 or 10, so plan to get up. Retidy kitchen and lounge (so they stay good) and then get something to eat.
I plan to play on the wii for a bit...then watch film and crochet luigi laying down.

Brownie prep to do tomorrow...and restoring dd3s bedroom so it looks like it did when she left...

Notsoblonde · 12/05/2013 20:22

Hi lovelies :) some of you might remember me as shakinstevie I kind of dropped off the thread as I felt better without the meds and hadn't got my counselling apps, well the counselling has started and am still not taking my meds. I recognise a few names, ua hugs to you so sorry to read about your dad. vicar I had a skim through the older thread amd see your back at work now but your getting a hard time :(, you have definately done the right thing putting in a formal complaint, and I hope your ds is ok. Hello to snowy glad your off your section 3 waves to everyone :).

As I said I had been feeling much better, but started the counselling sessions and everything is coming to a head I think, my body is not reacting very well, ibs has flared up, and am getting my chest pains again, I should take the meds but I got prescribed citalopram and googled (I know I shouldn't do this but it's part of the problem) and I have a heart murmur and there is a link so I haven't been back to gp as he will just say my heart condition is not significant as the cardio told me and to take the tablets :(, vicious circle I guess. Any way the counsellor thinks I have PTSD and that's part of the problem, my catastrophising relates to something that happened in childhood.

SnowyMouse · 12/05/2013 20:26

Been thinking of you all today, take care.

EdwiniasRevenge · 12/05/2013 20:27

I can't decide what tk eat...

I fancy cheese and beans on toast but can't be bothered to make it.
I fancy chinese but can't be bothered to get dressed to fetch it.
Cup of coffee and dunked biscuits is doable but I don't fancy it...