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Original poster

Driving away

999 replies

Pumble · 28/12/2012 00:52

I don't know where to post this and don't know what to do. I'm sitting here crying again with my 5 week old dd2 and just know that the best thing I could do for both of my girls is to get in the car and drive. If dd2 ever goes to sleep that is what I must do. I won't be leaving them alone and it will break my heart but it's what will be best for them. They deserve so much better than the useless failure of a mother they have.

I don't know why I'm posting this. I guess to feel less alone

OP posts:
flowersfortea · 08/01/2013 00:17

I have sent you a PM.
Just take it step by step - even if that means waking your DH up to take a turn with the baby now so you can sit with a cup of tea for 10 mins, he can always snooze on the train tomorrow.

Original poster
Pumble · 08/01/2013 00:40

And I've walked out the house

OP posts:
Acky123 · 08/01/2013 00:51

I can't do anything to help you but hoping a bump will bring people who have been talking to you about what you're going through :(

MrsRhettButler · 08/01/2013 01:05

Take some deep breaths, is dh aware you've gone? Did dd2 finally sleep?

(((((Hugs))))))

MrsRhettButler · 08/01/2013 01:07

Can you turn round and go back? You've taken such big steps already, you are so close to getting the help you need please don't give up now!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 08/01/2013 01:15

Take a breather, Pumble, keep posting if it helps. There are so many posters here who have been exactly where you are now, they understand.

LittleBearPad · 08/01/2013 02:06

Hi Lovely. Where are you now? Hang in there - it will all be alright. I know it might not seem like that now but it will. Big hug.

TanteRose · 08/01/2013 02:19

Pumble where are you now?

come back and talk to us Smile

MrsHelsBels74 · 08/01/2013 03:47

Pumble where are you? Come back & talk to us. You've done so well so far just hang in there a bit longer.

geekette · 08/01/2013 04:41

another one rooting for team pumble!
I shed a tear or two reading through this thread.
only a loving mother would want so much for her daughters to have the best.
your dh is ace too. babies are such hard work.

an unsettled 5/6 week old is quite depressing and the sleep deprivation doesn't help.

you've had some fresh air and a chance to calm down after a night most mums would find hard. that's an OK thing to do!!!

can you make it back home now?

I wish gps had an online appointment booking service..

please get to yours. I know it seems a hassle now. but they can help.

Original poster
Pumble · 08/01/2013 04:43

Dh got me to come back although I don't know why he bothered. I just don't know what to do. Dd2 did finally sleep for a bit which is something and hopefully will help her a bit. I just wish I could do something to help her.

OP posts:
MumVsKids · 08/01/2013 05:01

Oh pumble :(

I'm so sorry you're feeling so low.

You've come so far since you first posted, don't give up now, you will feel better and you are so obviously a good wife and mum.

Keep going, you're doing great xx

geekette · 08/01/2013 05:22

whatever you've done or are doing for her is all she needed. just being there is enough. it is hard to believe that if she's unsettled but it's true.

as the last poster said: you are doing great!

hang in there.

Jollyb · 08/01/2013 07:57

How are you this morning pumble?

LittleBearPad · 08/01/2013 08:11

Thinking of you

MorrisZapp · 08/01/2013 08:18

I've been exactly where you are, pumble. What you describe is normal, it happens to loads of mums. I thought I was a terrible mother, but in fact I was ill.

Luckily, doctors know a lot about pnd and their job is to help. They absolutely will help you. Nobody will judge you for having an illness, I promise!

I practically lived at my local GPs practice when I was ill, but that's what they're there for. You need help, they will give you help.

You are in my thoughts, I know just how scary and utterly defeating this illness is, and what it feels like. Massive hugs xxx

Sunnywithshowers · 08/01/2013 08:43

Hello lovely Pumble

I'm sorry you had such a rough night, I'm so glad you came back.

Big hugs to you, I hope today is a better today. The fact that you told your DH is a massive step, and you have been incredibly brave.

Little steps. xxxx

Original poster
Pumble · 08/01/2013 10:21

Sitting at GPs waiting to see doctor. She's running really late which isn't a good thing as it is using all of my strength not to get up and go home and the longer it is the more chance of me going. Trying my hardest to stay put for my girls.

OP posts:
noteventhebestdrummer · 08/01/2013 10:22

You stay put babes!

NewYearNewNN · 08/01/2013 10:23

I'm waiting with you. Hang on in there!

everlong · 08/01/2013 10:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JuliaFlyte · 08/01/2013 10:27

Be brave Pumble, seeing the GP is the best thing you can do for yourself and your girls. You will be ok, breath slowly -in through your mouth, out through your nose, it will help you to stay calm.

ValentineWiggins · 08/01/2013 10:29

Well done Pumble for getting to the doctor. That's the biggest step to take. Tell the GP the truth about how you are feeling - they won't judge. Please do take some anti-depressants though - they will help you get through the next few weeks until you can get some counselling. Don't try to battle on without medicine - you wouldn't for pneumonia and this is no different.

Good luck and keep talking here - we all really do understand what you are going through.

Original poster
Pumble · 08/01/2013 10:30

Stressing about dd2 now as she is due a feed. How are people who came after me going in before me?

OP posts:
TanteRose · 08/01/2013 10:33

Hang in there - tell the receptionist that DD2 will need feeding and could they hurry up?