Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Original poster

Emetophobia - my worst nightmare

999 replies

zonedout · 09/11/2012 18:09

Ds1 goes to a school set on several different sites. Today one of the sites has been closed for deep cleaning due to norovirus wiping out hundreds of children this week. There are loads of siblings in ds1's building/class and 8 of his classmates were off today.

I am a single parent (really outing myself here!) and terrified of what feels completely inevitable right now. I was awake all night last night, waiting. Shall be doing the same again tonight.

You know, I feel like I have improved a lot with my emetophobia recently. I am no longer worried about the odd v. It's the awful, debilitating violence of noro that terrifies the life out of me.

The waiting is utter torture Sad

OP posts:
Dancergirl · 02/12/2012 10:54

Well luckily dd3 was fine, just tired! And we all seem ok (so far) after Christmas fair yesterday.

reastie interesting question. I've never been sick as an adult, the last time was age 9. I do sometimes think that if I was sick, it would help because I think for me it's the fear of the unknown.

I too have had lots of treatment, one therapist said I should make myself sick by drinking saltwater. My friend (who's not phobic) said that was disgusting and in any case there was no way I would entertain it. Another therapist tried to get to re-think being sick as being 'unpleasant' rather than 'terrifying'. That did actually help a bit at the time but I really think I'm not further forward at this stage. I've also had (v expensive) hypnotherapy - load of rubbish (for me anyway).

MoaningMingeWhimpersAgain · 02/12/2012 15:56

reastie for me, actually being sick isn't that bad - I know I will only be sick for a few hours and then it will stop. It's the waiting so see if I will get the bug or not that kills me. I just want to know it will all be over and done with soon.

DD is still a bit ill with diarrhoea but and I am still on tenterhooks as to whether or not I will get ill. Nearly 2 weeks now I have just been waiting. Practically under house arrest. Whereas when it starts it's the waiting that's over and I know it won't last very long. IYKWIM.

Marne · 02/12/2012 17:26

Lat time i was sick was almost 3 years ago (last time i caught noro), for me it had probably made my phobia worse even though i coped (with help from my mum) and had to deal with dd1 being sick a few hours later, it still feels me with dread when i think about it Sad. For me when i feel sick i would rather be dead than vomit (i know it sounds silly but this is the way i think when my anxiety is at its highest), my worst fear would be getting cancer and being told i had to had chemo as i know i would refuse Sad.

reastie · 02/12/2012 18:23

Marne I am EXACTLY the same - I use the cancer/chemo analogy alot. You see this is where I struggle with therapy (that I've had experience of anyway) as they all see the end target to be for me to be sick to get over this, but I don't think it's that simple or straight forward and I wonder, if, like you, I could get worse afterwards anyway. I had an awful pg and felt sick the whole way through - I spent months in bed feeling 5 seconds away from being sick all day and all nigh, it was awful. Presumably this should have helped desensitise me Hmm but it's just made me ten times worse.

DH and DD and I went out to a local castle today for some walking and looking at their christmas activities and we ended out taking DD to see father christmas (she's 21 months). It my first trip out for 'fun' in ages (I've been so anxious about getting bugs) and it felt so good and so relaxing. I'm hoping given we were outdoors the whole time I've minimised our chances of catching anything, and I made DD wear gloves all the time so she didn't touch anything. Tomorrow I am taking DD with DM to see father christmas again at a garden centre and I'm petrified. There are group activities with other children (like colouring in christmas cards) inside involving touching communal things and I feel convinced we'll catch something there. I would just back out of going given we've seen the main man today, but DM really wants to go so will have to brave it. Fingers crossed for me. Think I'll be back to work this week, that's 2 weeks to get through there with the tummy bug doing the rounds. Argh!

Badvocsanta · 03/12/2012 10:52

Oh I could weep.
Ds2 has been really poorly all last week with a chest infection.
He is still coughing and has been given prednisilone as he is wheezy too.
Mum knows this.
I text her this morning to say we would pop in to see her if she was in.
Se said yes.
We went and after an 5 mins she told me she had d and v on thurs and fri...fgs!
She knows how ill ds2 has been a and that I am ill too (nasty cold).
I am so cross and upset.
Oh, and dh is away for 2 days from tomorrow.
Aibu?
Is it my phobia making me overreact?
Feel very upset.

Dancergirl · 03/12/2012 11:21

Oh poor you badvoc, I would be worried too. I think if she last had it Friday and today's Monday you should be fine.

Badvocsanta · 03/12/2012 12:14

Thanks.
I hate this.
It's ruining the run up to Xmas for me... :(

reastie · 03/12/2012 12:47

Oh Bad I'd feel the same Sad . Trying to think positively though, it was over 48 hours since she was ill, so chances are so teeny tiny that she could pass anything over to you, and I'm sure you're careful with handwashing etc. I know that's easy for me to say.

Spent the morning with DD and DM seeing Father Christmas (again!) at a garden centre. It was an 'experience' including singing/dancing/colouring etc as well as the main man. It meant an hour locked in a room with about 15 other coughing spluttering potentially tummy bug germy children touching lots of shared props. I'm very anxious about it Confused . Why can't I just relax and enjoy what should have been a great fun experience FGS Angry

Dancergirl · 03/12/2012 12:55

Does anyone else worry about passing on their anxiety to their dc? I don't want to make them neurotic. I have never really discussed the phobia with them and my oldest is 11 now.

A good friend of mine's mum has the same phobia and she brought up 4 children. If one of them was sick, she made my friend stay home from school to look after them. My friend's amazing. Luckily for her, she doesn't worry at all about being sick. Her mum, however, is in her 70s now and still has it.

Dancergirl · 03/12/2012 13:41

So if I'm buying hand gel (I know it's not as good as soap and water though) is Milton the best one to get? I can only find it in 100ml, does anywhere sell the smaller 50ml size?

reastie · 03/12/2012 14:16

I got my small milton from a supermarket dancer but forget which one. I foundthis one which seems to kill noro according to this . I'm using these wipes at present . It's a massive pack there though, so not great for hand bags, but kills noro according to the front of the pack and are more gentle on hands than using hand gel

Badvocsanta · 03/12/2012 14:29

Thanks everyone.
I knew you would understand

Badvocsanta · 03/12/2012 19:54

:( don't feel good :(

reastie · 03/12/2012 19:57

Bad it could very well likely be anxiety making you feel bad - it would be highly unusual to come down with any symptoms from seeing your Mum so soon. Anxiety is a pig and can make you think and worry about all sorts of things and trick you into pain and sensations that aren't illness. Not trying to dumb down what you feel, just trying to think logically and think positive. How do you feel more specifically?

Badvocsanta · 03/12/2012 20:04

Bloated.
Sick.
But have felt sick for days...have had a nasty head cold since thursday and prior to that ds2 has been really poorly so not much sleep.
I look like hell.
Just taken a motillium - my last one.
I think I am a worried about dh going away for 2 days tomorrow too.
Getting very cross with myself

reastie · 03/12/2012 20:25

Could it be IBS? I get that when I'm worried/stressed

Badvocsanta · 03/12/2012 20:28

Could be.
Could be anything.
But you know how it is :(
Thanks for chatting to me :)

reastie · 03/12/2012 20:33

I know exactly where you are with that. It's completely the not knowing. A couple of weeks ago I had awful stomach ache - I couldn't lie in bed it hurt so much. It was unlike my usual IBS pain. I got in such a state I was coming down with something I couldn't stop crying and shaking. Turns out it was nothing but stress, but I didn't know at the time.

I'm getting in a massive state DD and/or I have caught something from the children etc from seeing father christmas - DD touched so much and put her hands in her mouth Sad . Wish I would have just not gone Sad . This is just such an awful thing to live with isn't it

SantasHugandRollintheSnow · 03/12/2012 21:23

I was told today that there were 8 children in ds1 class off sick last week 8. For fuck sake we will not escape this will we?

Badvocsanta · 04/12/2012 07:22

Uneventful night.
Thank god.
Hoping we all stay ok at least til dh gets back!
Thanks for chatting to me last night reastie.
Yes, you are spot on. It is an awful thing to live with. And especially hard at this time of year.
Try and be positive about the trip yesterday...despite your phobia you put your dd first and took her out to see Santa which she loved. It's ok to be anxious now. But you did it. And you should be proud x

SantasHugandRollintheSnow · 05/12/2012 02:19

Bleugh, I didn't take my sertraline for 2 days as I forgot which made me feel ill with a painful tummy. I of course took one today (actually yesterday to be pedantic) and feel horrid. Sicky and I'm likely to have the runs at some point as that is both my withdrawal and startup side effect.

Lying awake in bed with wind hoping that's all it is with a painful belly. The frigging tablets which are to help with my anxiety are the cause of it tonight.

Badvocsanta · 05/12/2012 07:50

Oh dear.
I took a motillium last night.
Dh away and I felt a it icky but nit sure how much of that is due to anxiety tbh.

roundabout1 · 05/12/2012 09:35

It is impossible to know really but did it help bad?

I have been fearing the dreaded bugs but last night had a really bad migraine, I never get nausea with them normally but tbh never had one this bad before. I felt really really sick, took a Motillium which eased it a little. Still have the awful headache today & feel very yucky. Now I have that to worry about as well Sad

Badvocsanta · 05/12/2012 09:39

After a migraine it takes me a couple of days to feel ok again.
I can't eat, or if I can I can only eat carbs. Quite common after a migraine I beleive.
I think it did help in that after I took it I was less anxious.
But it's just awful here ATM...2 people I saw yesterday have kids who have been sick this week :(
There isn't much I can do about it. Just keep hand washing etc...

Marne · 05/12/2012 09:53

Bad Sad,

I have woken up feeling fluey again. Talk of norovirus in the playground and people posting on fb about sick kids (just cant get away from it) Sad. Dd2 is going to a friends house tonight after we cancelled last week due to her having a bad cold, dh working late this week and then he has his work party on sat so wont be home to early hours of sunday. I hate these last few weeks of school, people are mote sociable, lots of things going on at school so more chances of bugs spreading. I have given in and agreed to dd1 going to the school disco tomorrow night, roll on the 21st when school closes for a couple weeks and we can stay in Smile.