HELP my binge eating is spiralling out of control

[yumyummymummy]

I have always had a 'bad relationship' with food and over the years have gone through periods of binging. I put on 3 stone with 2 pregnancies just a year apart and then lost it all plus another 1/2 stone took up excercise and got my body to the best shape its probably ever been. Now 2 years on i am about 10lbs maybe more (!) heavier and i am out of control eating on mainly sugary stuff. I am disgusted with myself i just stuff myself till i feel physically ill, all i do is think about food, i have no will power and i feel bloody awful. can anyone relate to to this? I know realistically i am not fat yet but if i carry on like this i will be and my knickers have got tight on me now and most of my wardrobe just looks or feels terrible. What can i do to break this cycle? Can anyone else eat as much as me - i've never met anyone who admitted to it?

I feel really sad that so many of us struggle with food like this.
I have been feeling down and comfort eating since last thursday night (joined sw 4 weeks ago). I chucked a freaky when I came in from class last thursday night as I was really hungry and tired (bad combo) and panicked at not being able to cope with cooking in a dirty messy kitchen. Have felt guilty and down on myself (really negative)since then and like I dont deserve to lose weight and I've already f~~ked up so why not f~~k up some more etc. When I'm like this I just want to numb it all out with the sicky full sugared up feeling. Reading this thread has actually felt quite helpful and put some perspective back for me.
Nameless one, I really feel for you and hope that you can hang on and do what you need to do to get to surgery (you sound sure that this is what you need to happen to make a difference for you,although it has come to that). I'm sure your family love you and would miss you terribly.

Do you have days when you wake up and just know it's going to be hard...

Paul McKenna says eat what you want not what you think you should be eating. But I'm eating muesli for breakfast instead of the chocolate I really want!

most days i wake up thinking i shall eat well/be good today and i seem to be able to maintain it if absolutely no temptation comes my way. today i had been doing really well then i had to make a cake for DS1 pre school party on friday. the cake was disasterous and i feel/felt so totally inadequate and pissed off that i'd followed the recipie and yet it was inedible - well actually rephrase that as i managed to scrape the whole thing from the cake tin and scoff the lot. I have tried to console myself that it is a very light cake however i am in possession of the facts that i added 10oz sugar to it and 8oz hazlenuts and they are going to cancel out the last few days of sensible eating if not give me a headstart to pushing me over the next stone mark!
how is everyone else doing?

Im doing really well because I have laryngitis and a really really sore throat & tongue so cant bear to eat much at all

have forced down fruit smoothie, small portion of risotto and chicken, mash & veg for tea - just to try to help my body mend

only drinking water

wouldnt recommend illness to stave off bingeing

mmiggins-get well soon,I even binged when i was ill

But not anymore

mistress miggins wish you better - i am great admirer of yours have spent ages reading your threads and am out there in the ether routing for you and wishing you to get all you dream of.
funnily enough DH (for the moment..) is really ill, hasn't eaten for 24 hours now and of course suffering like only a man can and i can't decide between wanting to catch it because it will be a nice kick start or panicking how i'd manage if i felt that ill to look after DS1 & 2.
notasheep - i have to read back this thread to find out how you managed to break the cycle okay i am going to get onto amazon and order suzie orbach, i am having therapy so i can certainly confront my emotions there but is there anything else you can suggest to get me to stop this craving to binge? sounds like i want to be rescued i don't but i am just struggling with the tools to break the cylcle i am in.

yumyumyummy-
Number 1!!! stop all this;I am going to be good today,its not about being good.
I have read loads on this post on people being good then they have 3 biscuits and think well thats it i have blown it now so i may as well binge for the rest of the day.
That was my thought process-it doesnt work,you say the same thing every morning and by the end of the day you have failed,binged and feel crap.Then it starts all over again tomorrow and the day after and before you know it years have passed.

Get up in the morning and try and have breakfast-NOT I AM GOING TO BE GOOD.
I have a bowl of cereal and 2 slices of Toast

The aim is NOT to be on a constant DIET but to eat NORMALLY.

Dont want to bombard you with every tip at once! Seriously though,want to help as many people as i can,always think an ex gives honest advice like an ex drug addict!

And if i sound harsh,i dont mean to.Typed word can read like that.

For me the way i got out of the cycle once and for all was sorting my brain out.It could be painful,you may try and fight it but it has to be done.

totally agree notasheep,restrictive dieting doesn't work.

My hypnosis seems to be working.I'm eating a healthy three meals a day,snacking on fruit if I'm hungry.Red wine ,well I'm still having a glass with supper.

I don't want to diet as they never work long term,I want to eat like a thin person.

I realy feel differently know,it's weird and I hope it is forever.
I think it'll be easy to stick to because I'm not restricting myself...here's hoping.

ggirl-Fantastic,it really sounds like your head is getting in the right place.

Eating like a thin person-EXACTLY!

Not been on this thread for a while as have been pigging out too much - felt down in the dumps with a lingering cough/backache. . Am feeling more positive this week, and have been reading about the GI diet with interest - even if you're not looking to diet/calorie control, it has some useful tips about structuring your meals - 1/4 protein/, 1/4 carb, 1/2 veg for example.

Nameless1 - sorry that you are going through this. Are you getting any treatment for depression? If your eating is risking your health, then I would have thought it appropriate for your GP to refer you to a psychologist to get to the bottom of this, but I don't know very much about this area. You might find the Overeater's Anonymous group (think they have a website, will check) useful, at least to give you an idea as to what sort of psychological treatment might help.

yummymummy - I think you are working through so much atm with your marriage problems, you need to be quite lenient with yourself - you can't really focus just on the food issue. but also bear in mind that you will feel a little more able to cope throughout the day if you eat more healthily and regularly.

notasheep - agree completely about "feeling good" thinking - a person without food issues would have the 3 biscuits, think nothing of it, other than - won't have any more today, and will continue eating as normal, as person with food issues will think - I'm useless, I can't stick to any diet, I'll just eat the rest of the packet and start the diet again on monday

I've changed my name yet again! (am very indecisive)

the mnetter formerly known as MTS/TBB

I can't believe that there are so many people out there like me - I have put on 2.5 stone in the last 8 months (started around the time I began to feel depressed) My dh doesn't take my depression seriously and doesnt want me to go to the doctors in case he puts me on AD's I feel as though I am getting worse - The more weight I put on the more depressed I feel the more I eat. I am over 16 stone now and although I have always been big it depresses me to think that this time last year I was a lot lighter and happier. Dh and I aren't getting on great either - I resent his 'cheer up and get on with it attitude'

schneebly - go to docs anyway - they can rule out anaemia/thyroid problems - physical cause to the depression. ads may not be the GPs answer anyway - they can refer you for counselling

I think you are right but I am a bit scared to go to GP - I have kept my depression very secret and am friends with his wife - we live in a small place and everyone sees me as this happy go lucky young mum who is coping really well and it will be hardv to admit that i have been living a lie.

.

I spent years binge eating. I can't say I have solved the problem exactly but I am much better generally.

Have you thought of overeaters anonymous? I went for a while and did find it useful in making me look at the emotional reasons behind why I eat and dealing with them. I also had therapy for quite a long time once a week with a specialist in eating disorders.

'Losing weight has never been an issue for me I've done it many times ' When I found myself saying things like that I realised how much like an alcoholic I sounded but with food. I faced the fact a long time ago that I am basically addicted to food and have to be ultra careful around it. It is difficult as you can't just give up food (well not for long anyway). Fundamentally the problem for me is that I can't maintain a weight I am either losing weight (lots of it) or putting it back on. What is needed is a way to put that back into balance even if it means I have to be happier at a slightly heavier weight than normal.

This is a lifelong battle for me and I do feel I've made real progress in the last 5 years but then I had reached a real crisis point.

As for how much you eat - I have been know to eat a full family pack (500g uncooked weight) of cooked pasta and loaves of bread along with many packets of biscuits in one sitting- Please don't think you are alone. However I am not going to advocate any particular diet as in the end this is about dealing with the emotional underlying reasons behind why we overeat and at the same time changing our habits (ie eating properly). We need to do both as doing only one of them won't work in the longterm.

Eating Disorders! Whether it be anorexia/bulimia/Binge eating - it is a very very hard 'way of life' to change BUT it can be done.

I had 14 years of being under the spell of Bulimia but eventually with help I 'got out'. I have been 'clean' for 4 years - not saying it's easy and occassionally I have to really try very hard, but I am out of the routine. Please try and get help from whereever you can. There are so many organisations around now that will help you - and more importantly many of these people have actually 'been there and done that' so they really do know what they are talking about!

Good luck - and I promise if you get help, you will beat it.

Sorry I haven't read the entire thread but I get the general idea.

Does anyone else really worry about passing their problems with food onto their children. It is one of my greatest fears for my dd. I just don't know how to handle it when she refuses food (like today). Do I offer alternatives? Do I just accept, that unlike me, she knows when she doesn't want to eat anything, so she just doesn't? Do I offer snacks later, or wait until supper time.

I just don't know how to be normal around food and am terrified that dd will pick up on this and develop an unhealthy relationship with food herself.

I also worry that she will get reject me when she's older because of my weight. I remember doing this to my mum at times when she was either very, very thin, or other times when she was overweight.

Can anyone give me some hope?

Another Monday arrives,How are well all getting on?

I've been plucking up the courage to post on this thread for a few days, as it's admitting to someone other than myself that I have a problem with binge eating. I eat whenever I need a crutch - and as I have suffered from depression on and off for years, it's really taken its toll on my weight.

I'm 5'6 and 16 stone.

I have tried all sorts, even down to posting photos of myself on a photo blog website in order to humiliate myself into doing something about it.

I've been on the Lardy Ladies thread since January and am now 3lb heavier than I was when it started - not much in the scheme of things I know but still in the wrong direction dispite a concerted effort on my part to stop.

It's such a help knowing that I'm not the only one that does this. Maybe this is the first step to me stopping once and for all. I really hope so.

Littlefish - you have struck a real chord with me, I'm really scared of my dd's thoughts about my weight when she's older (21 months now). My mum struggles with her weight too and is bigger than me, although she's recently lost 1.5 stone with weightwatchers and is doing really well. I remember thinking "Why is my Mummy fatter than anyone elses?" when I was a kid. Don't want my dd to be the same.

Well i have taken the bull by the horns and started Cambridge diet because i dont want to be fat and 30...........

Surprisingly i find it easier having no food at all because the moment something passes my lips thats it for the day i pig out till i go to bed,
As it is only me and 2 girls i thought i would be easy because they have different dinner to me and as i dont have to cook for anyone else i just have my shake / soup, i hope to lose the weight fast which also hepls keep me motivated...

It's so hard isn't it tangerinecath. My mum was anorexic for most of my childhood, and when she wasn't anorexic, she was bulimic (still is). I always used to think that having my own child would be the trigger for me to sort myself out, but here I am, 16 months down the line, size 20-22 .

Strangely enough, when I was pregnant, I never binged or starved. I felt so fabulous and was completely fulfilled just by being pregnant. I felt compeltely emotionally secure.

Littlefish-I can give you some hope,as i have said earlier on here.I WAS a MASSIVE binger but i am not anymore.
here to support you lot now