HELP my binge eating is spiralling out of control

[yumyummymummy]

I have always had a 'bad relationship' with food and over the years have gone through periods of binging. I put on 3 stone with 2 pregnancies just a year apart and then lost it all plus another 1/2 stone took up excercise and got my body to the best shape its probably ever been. Now 2 years on i am about 10lbs maybe more (!) heavier and i am out of control eating on mainly sugary stuff. I am disgusted with myself i just stuff myself till i feel physically ill, all i do is think about food, i have no will power and i feel bloody awful. can anyone relate to to this? I know realistically i am not fat yet but if i carry on like this i will be and my knickers have got tight on me now and most of my wardrobe just looks or feels terrible. What can i do to break this cycle? Can anyone else eat as much as me - i've never met anyone who admitted to it?

Can I join you? I have the distant mother/daughter relationship thing, plus my mother has been anorexic/bulimic for most of my life. I have such a bad relationship with food. We eat a very healthy diet, but my portion sizes are just ridiculous. I can also relate to the evening binging thing MistressMiggins - my worst time is when I first get in from work.

See yumyummtmummy - you really are not alone!

I've also had a bad relationship with food in the past and done the binge eating thing and just feeling totally out of control and wonedring when it would stop. I feel i have had in under control (enough anyway) in the last few years. In the last year i have also learned loads more about the effects of refined carbs on blood sugar levels. I've got pcos so am aprticularly sensitive to sugars and carbs. But know i know that if i eat white bread or sugary stuff i WILL want to binge - it's an actual physical thing. It makes me feel better to know that my binging does has some physical cause and is not just down to my realtionship with food / lack of will power etc. I know how to control my appetite and my eating (through low GI foods)although i don't always do it - especially if PMT's up - and can easily find myself back in the grip of intense carb cravings. YYM you may well be a 'carb addict' or have some sugar intolerance. If so i wuld def recommend trying low GI eating to control your appetite. I have also done slimming world and it is a good diet but for a carb addict like me it just fed into that whole ting of eating the WHOLE pot of pasta or giant ammounts of rice. good luck

Just had two jacket potatoes with tuna mayonnaise for lunch.

I'm not trying to diet yet (clearly!), what I want to do first is get back to sensible eating.

Notasheep I know whatyou mean, and I think for some of us that might mean counselling, but at one level having support here and just knowing others are going through it, being able to give support in return which is good for self-esteem - and talking about the triggers - is enough for me at the moment.

SanchPanch does chilli sauce really boost your metabolism? I didn't even know there were foods that could do that!

Mistressmiggins, kick up the arse here if that's what you want! I don't think it's uncommon for people to express how they feel through their weight - I certainly had a couple of friends who did that at unhappy times.

hallo - am back from lunch out and am snacking on chocolate biscuits that the hostess gave the kids to take home! It's so reassuring to know there are so many other people out there struggling with this as i was beginning to think i was a freak.
mistressmiggins - i have read your threads before as you gave me some really good advice once and i was so impressed by your strength and dignity during all that you went through with your ex. I also noted that you had some really good friends which speaks volumes about you. I am stuck in a marriage that is mostly bordering between terrible and awful interspersed with a few okay patches and i am so scared to get out of it that i am pathetically putting up with it - i don't really deserve better anyway. So i would just like to say how much i admire you and thought how lovely you sounded - i am sure you will come out of this miserable patch because it sounds to me like you are a born survivor.
does anybody know how i could find out if i have a sugar intolerance - maybe that would help me to knock it on the head once and for all?

So my 1st day after hypnosis and I'm amazed at how different I feel towards food.

Didn't want any chocolate biscuits at mil's house.Bought the kids choc cake at john lewis and didn't even touch a crumb of it.Didn't fancy it
Have just had an apple as a bit peckish ,looking forward to chicken and salad for supper!

Hope I can only have one glass of wine tonight instead of the usual two,we'll see .

Just going back to your most recent post on this thread, Mrs. Miggins; two sentences leapt out at me:-

"I actually feel that I have been bingeing the last few weeks so that I can show people how miserable I am...if that makes sense "

This reminds me how I felt when I was very unhappy and overworked at work, and being tipped into depression by a combination of life events and the mini-pill. I used to literally stomp up and down the office in the hopes that someone would notice how stressed I was . In my case I was just desperate for someone to notice something was wrong. Is there any family member or friend that you feel comfortable enough with to say - x months have gone by since the split, but I still feel crap about it? Are you still having counselling?

"I now feel that I dont deserve to look good or look after myself as its not a reflection of my emotional state.... "

Understandable, but if you eat badly then that can adversely affect your emotional state. I'm not pretend a good diet/ keeping your bloody sugar steady is an immediate cure all, but it will leave you better able to cope with the other stresses in your life.

Notasheep - I'm more of a habit change type (look at the trigger situations, substitute more positive responses than raiding the fridge and cupboard), rather than wanting to dig deep for causes/be too analytical.

yummy - I honestly have no idea at all about testing for sugar intolerance etc. I know that Maryon Stewart has written books about controlling PMT by diet, so maybe her books would have more information on this point?

TBB-understand what you mean,however dont you think that most eating is emotional? and the emotions arent looked at?

And yes so much is habit- i have to have 3 biscuits with my coffee,no more or less.

How are we all today?

I am quite pleased with myself as I managed to have a very "in control" day yesterday. I was left alone in the afternoon for a couple of hours while Dh was out with the children. Normally this is a trigger for me to eat, but I didn't. I then had an argument with DH and again I would have been reaching for a biscuit but managed not to.

Dh and the hcildren have all been vomiting during he night so it's going to be a tough day today with them all ill. Hope I can hold it together.

Actually I'm feeling a bit queasy myself and wondering if it's hunger or am I going to be ill too? Think I will have my porridge and see...

hi have started the day well too - porridge for breakfast, done an aerobics class and just had a banana and apple.
However, DH has made a no doubt very delicious but very full of oil, curry with accompanying chutneys such as walnut and coriander. He is sickeningly good cook, i need recipe to follow and even then that's no guarantee but he just knocks the most amazing things up with no help.
We also have hardly any food in the house so the rest of the day is not looking so positive. I'm now going to do an online shop as i find if i don't plan what i am eating for a few days ahead it all goes pear shaped!

yumyummymummy- I just wanted to say that I came onto this board a year ago with hugely disordered eating and the support I found here really helped me get the incentive to sort myself out. I know it's not easy. I too have been a binge eater, as well as bulimic, and the hard part to realise is that just because you're not stick thin doesn't mean you don't have an eating disorder - binge eating is just as serious, if not more so. It is my experience that however good your intentions, you really do need proper help to get over this- it is learned behaviour and it can be unlearned. I can't do links, but the Eating Disorder Association was a great help for me, and I second people's recommendations for anything Susie Orbach has ever written. One of the first steps I took to literally make it impossible to binge was to go shopping with a friend - I felt I couldn't pile my trolley with crap if someone else was there, iyswim- my problem was a hugely private thing, and I just was unable to stock up on binge food if someone was watching me. If you're going to town and feel you might be tempted, take just enough money for what you need so there won't be enough for that ice cream. Exercise is another big thing. I got to the stage where I was obsessing over it, but now I get my exercise bike out a couple of times a week and really feel the better for it. I really do wish you all the best in tackling this. This post is the brave first step x

Any one want to start a fresh tomorrow although i say this every monday, after a weekend of eating badly, but might be able to do it with support on here

Anyone?

I'm up for that Sanchpanch - tried yesterday and today, didn't do very well but I'm starting to become more aware of what I'm doing and either distracting myself or trying to eat fruit or something instead of bread and cheese. They're my downfall - not just a slice of cheddar, mind you, half a pound of brie or blue cheese in one go with half a loaf of crusty bread, and it's costing a flipping fortune, too! I couldn't just like spaghetti hoops, could I? Will try tomorrow at work and check in in the evening - ok?

I went back to a WW meeting last Monday. I stuck to it until Thursday night, because I was ravenously hungry. Dh though it might be because I was on a diet and therefore thinking about food

Turned out that I was due on, which I had missed, so that explained it. However, I was much hungrier than normal months, and I think that it was because of my ADs. I googled them, and discovered that they can be prescribed as an appetite stimulant . So, I have taken myself off them, and am going to try and deal with my depression with exercise and a SAD lamp.

Anyway, long story short etc., I am going to have a pick 'n' mix day tomorrow, and get back on the plan after weigh-in tomorrow night. Dh assumed that I wasn't going back because I had gone off the rails, but I told him that I don't give up that easily! I did have two unavoidable dos this weekend to sope with too.

I know I shouldn't have the p&m, and I might even settle for a small choc. bar, who knows. I will do it though...

yesterday went rapidly downhill in the afternoon - i am too embarassed to go through my consumption but it was vast! Today started off well but i just happened to see a hidden packet of jaffa cakes a cupboard whilst having a stress fit with 2.5 year old DS who is fighting against anything and everything i ask him to do so that was it! After i'd demolished them i went thru several toasted bagels and butter and have just put crumble in the oven.
tomorrow is another day and my thighs are starting to get too close for my liking now so its going to have to end soon....i hate myself for doing this.

please talk to me - my husband(soon to be ex) has just logged on to his Hotmail and of course messenger informed me....he is now trying to chat and I am crying

mmiggins-sorry havent spoken to you before,so dont really know much about whats going on.

However I USE to feed my emotions. I do understand completely.You can get better,you will get better.

Read every book that you can get your hands on by Susie Orbach.

One day you will eat when you are hungry,honest.

You dont just need a good kick up the backside either.
Talk,talk,talk,get in your brain.one day you will not have to fight with food once things are clearer in your mind.

Mine was all down to relationship with my Mother(very distant,all she did was feed me)

Hello,

Not a great day - DH has been making me packed lunches for a few weeks to save money but also to stop me eating so much! Doesn't work - about three every day I go to the shop and buy at least two snack/chocolate bars - adn I don't even like chocolate much.

Last night was a disaster - almost a whole packet of tortilla chips with half a pack of dips.
I just caught DH putting the leftover tea in the fridge quick, and I know it's so I won't snaffle it.

Yumyummymummy do you hide stuff on purpose, or were the jaffa cakes just there? Jaffa cakes are a nightmare - who can avoid eating a whole packet?

Mistressmiggins - don't know what that means - does it mean he's trying to talk to you?

Just seen this MM - I would simply block him, so you always appear offline to him.

Helsy - why do you go to the shop at 3 everyday? If it's just to buy junk food, then you need to 1)walk past or 2)arrange to do something else at 3.
Might also be an idea to have some healthy snacks for mid afternoon, if you find you need something after lunch.

Dior - take care over stopping the ADs, and keep a good eye on yourself for withdrawal effects/lapsing back into depression. tbh I'm a bit worried about you stopping on spec as you think they are linked to weight gain - I think it's more important to get you well and staying well than worrying about your weight.

Today's not been too bad - resisted the urge to buy a lot of junk in Tesco's.

well-as some of you will already know-i'm THE most overweight mumsnetter.i find that i'm like a smoker in a way...when i'm stressed, i reach for the fridge and stuff anything down my throat before i know it! (from the age of 7, i was counting calories...i honestly think, in the long run, this became my downfall).I like a drink too and, unfortunately, the following morning i need to eat something to combat the hangover!I am disgusting and i seriously think i'm killing myself--unfortunately, to fend off my troubles, i drink and drink and drink alcohol nearly every night.it's like a vicious circle..!

Sorry, YYM , didn't mean to take over your thread.just related to the title really. do apologise.

gosh cutekids, that sounds like a difficult combination - do you end up eating a lot due to the munchies once you've had alcohol?

Hi MM - I know a little about your situation and understand why your are upset. If you really dont want to talk to him - Just block him so he cant see that you are online

Why does he want to talk to you? Is he being nice or horrid?

Sorry for thread hijack