Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Original poster

HELP my binge eating is spiralling out of control

177 replies

yumyummymummy · 17/03/2006 22:33

I have always had a 'bad relationship' with food and over the years have gone through periods of binging. I put on 3 stone with 2 pregnancies just a year apart and then lost it all plus another 1/2 stone took up excercise and got my body to the best shape its probably ever been. Now 2 years on i am about 10lbs maybe more (!) heavier and i am out of control eating on mainly sugary stuff. I am disgusted with myself i just stuff myself till i feel physically ill, all i do is think about food, i have no will power and i feel bloody awful. can anyone relate to to this? I know realistically i am not fat yet but if i carry on like this i will be and my knickers have got tight on me now and most of my wardrobe just looks or feels terrible. What can i do to break this cycle? Can anyone else eat as much as me - i've never met anyone who admitted to it?

OP posts:
notasheep · 25/03/2006 19:16

Gillian76 have you read that book yet?

Hope it can help click your way of thinking

cutekids · 25/03/2006 20:18

OMG!I so relate to so many of you! I went to the Doctors on Wednesday-only originally went to support hubbie on his "no smoking mission" but managed to pluck up courage to ask him for something for myself to give me a "kick start". unfortunately, he didn't want to prescribe me anything straight away. he wants me to have a lifestyle change and then to have a management meeting with myself....! I'm trying to curb the drinking---not too bad on that score. But, i'm continuously feeling like i want to eat everything in the kitchen...especially at this time of night. (could easily go through 3 bags of crisps BEFORE the massive meal hubbie usually cooks for me, but i'm determined not to. Help! I need some support here too! I was thinking of starting a "weigh in" on here but don't suppose anyone's really interested in what weight-loss/gain i'm making daily. I seriously need to lose weight.(i'm the fattest mumsnetter i think!)

sanchpanch · 25/03/2006 20:27

I am sure your not the fattest, i probably was, i have lost 4 stone and 2 more to go, but i think about food constantly, i could easily eat 3 bags of crisps before dinner, i hate the control it has over me, and i work in community as occupational therapist assistant, see people with weight probs all the time nad the restrictions it puts on there lives, and it still doesnt stop me,

cutekids · 25/03/2006 20:31

trouble is, how do you stop thinking about food?!!!i know that if i drink at night, i get the munchies terrible the morning after and eat savoury stuff. i didn't have more than 2 glasses last night-which is a miracle for me on a friday night!- and found i wasn't overly hungry this morning. however, as the night wears on....?!(i actually just "sneaked" a bag of crisps just now when I realized hubbie was in the garage!)!!!

Gillian76 · 25/03/2006 20:31

Have had a pretty good week I'd say.

I got the book yesterday and have dipped into it. It seems to be advocating the same principles as Paul McKenna ie. eating only when hungry and stopping when you're full. It also looks at why you eat when you're not hungry. I think it will be very helpful.

From Tuesday to Friday I think I was pretty much in control. Have been a bit "picky" today but not had a massive binge yet.

I am trying not to weigh myself too often. Would ideally like to weigh once a month. But I did yesterday and had lost 7lbs since last Friday Shock. Obviously I'm pleased but as I said it's not so much about the weight as becoming free from the awful vicious circle.

sanchpanch · 25/03/2006 20:46

i used to eat in secret to and i would hate myself for it, dont have to now since dp left me, although at my mums the other day dd1 said i hear mummy after she puts us to bed she eats crisps, i was mortified

cutekids · 25/03/2006 21:01

that happened to me the other week.hubbie was working away on the tues night and on the wed night said, "where's the tortilla chips?"---wanted to use them as a side dish to one of his gorgeous meals! my 7yr old dd piped up, "she stuffed them down her head while she was watching eastenders last night, Daddy!" (she often sits at the top of the stairs keeping her eye on me!)

cutekids · 25/03/2006 21:02

luckily she hadn't seen the bottle of wine i was hugging...!

Pernod · 25/03/2006 21:50

So glad not to be alone on this one! It always is worse at the weekends when the wine is flowing & then there's just no stopping. Third dd is now 14 weeks & I really want to get a grip. Any advice? Sorry to pinch the original thread idea!

Blush
sanchpanch · 25/03/2006 21:58

no advice to give i am afraid, couple of books people have recomended on here.... we are all in same boat really, struggling to stay afloat....

Its more for support and to write things down... that might make us think

nameless1 · 25/03/2006 22:04

cutekids - I suspect I am by far the fattest mumsnetter, if it is any comfort to you! I am 31 stone and 5' 2" and so ashamed of it I have changed my name to confess it!

I would like to say to you all, please, please get the help you need to not end up like me. I have no life, I am just existing, and waiting for my weight to kill me.

Please don't end up like me.

Gillian76 · 25/03/2006 22:07

:( nameless. Can you get help?

Pernod · 25/03/2006 22:08

Hi Nameless1

Don't give up! You're not a failure at all, food has such a controlling way over a lot of us, me included. There has to be a way up for all of us ( not quite sure what though)!!

LOL Pernod xx

sanchpanch · 25/03/2006 22:15

namless1 you cant give up how old are you,
through my work at the moment i am looking after a woman same age as me (29) whos has just been admitted into hospital weighing 41 stone, she said she had a fit to get admitted but i think it was more of a cry for help to get help, are you getting any help?

Have you got children?

sanchpanch · 25/03/2006 22:17

food can be controlling whatever you weigh, its just trying to find how to control it, have you thought about hypnosis, or the cambridge diet plan, because i find it easier to lose weight if i cant eat at all, have you tried any of these,,

what are your main problems with food?

nameless1 · 25/03/2006 22:31

I am in my 30s and yes, I have children.

I have tried everything. WW, SW, slimfast, liquid diet supervised by obesity clinic, every fad diet going, many attempts at healthy eating etc etc.

My problem is my emotional attachment to food. I am addicted to it - to feeling full, When I eat, I don't feel the same hollowness as when I am not. I know I am depressed, but am I depressed because I am fat or fat because I am depressed - chicken and egg!

I feel so bad and it is like I am trying to cuddle myself better with food - does that make any sense? Furthermore, it is clear to me now that my need to eat to get the comfort is greater than my desire to live.

I know you will say live for the kids, but I am no good to them anyway - dh must do everything and I am nothing more than a burden to them all and a laughing stock.

sanchpanch · 25/03/2006 22:38

oh you poor thing, i could cry reading that, what a shame for you and your family, even though i only have 2 stone to lose i know how you feel about food, and the control it has over you,

If you really want help you must try and get it, you cant possibly go on living like this, its not fair on you, you cant really have much of a life, i would imagine that most daily activities are difficult for you...

I dont really know what to say to you, it just sounds so sad....xxx

Gillian76 · 25/03/2006 23:08

"Furthermore, it is clear to me now that my need to eat to get the comfort is greater than my desire to live."

Do you really feel that bad? :(

I so wish I could help you. I don't know you but I would imagine your children and husband love you deeply and would hate to hear you feeling such despair. Your children would rather have you here and there is loads more to being a mother than taking them to the park.

You say you have tried all the diets but I am fast coming to the belief that diets only make you worse. If you have the emotional attachment to food that so many of us do, it's more than counting your points for the day. That's not addressing the real problem.

Can you get any counselling or therapy. Some people have tried hypnosis.

Please, please do not give up. Regardless of how you feel about your body, you are a valuable person with so much to give your children.

Gillian76 · 25/03/2006 23:10

Know exactly what you mean about the fat/depressed chicken/egg thing btw, but there must be a way out :)

notasheep · 26/03/2006 02:23

Sorry,I am not being much help at this time in the morning.
Thinking of everybody,
Try and look at what is eating you? What is it?
There is something eating you.

I WAS a MASSIVE BINGER.

Im on your side,you may think ugh easy for her to say that but i do REALLY understand how you are feeling.

notasheep · 26/03/2006 09:07

Scrambled egg and smoked salmon for breakfast-what a treat today in bed

notasheep · 27/03/2006 21:17

How was Monday for you?

Original poster
yumyummymummy · 27/03/2006 21:22

gosh its amazing to think that when i started this thread i wasn't sure if i'd get any replies! I just want to offer my heartfelt empathy to those of you who are really struggling with food. I know i have hardly anything to lose yet food controls my life. I think about it constantly, I crave to eat and eat and eat, I am embarassed, disgusted by myself. I am really 'good' for days, weeks or even months and then i sabotage it stuffing myself to such an extent that i can put on half a stone in a few days. I seem to be totally out of control when temptation is put in my way and as soon as i taste some foods i find that i am like a robot programmed to finish them off. Even thou i can eat vast quantities i rarely feel sick after a binge.

all the clothes i own now fitted me when i was nearly a stone less so i am bulging out of them or uncomfortable and i don;t want to admit defeat by going out and buying more in the next size up but i also feel so disgusting in what i am wearing.
i am having therapy but haven't really touched on this as there's loads of other stuff like marriage breaking down that has been more priority. Am definately going to bring it up in the next session though.
i know there's no simple answer but if things like eat only when you're hungry just don;t take into account that i;m never hungry because i eat so much and that i never eat through hunger nor stop from being full up and i would struggle to just change that.

OP posts:
notasheep · 27/03/2006 21:29

Glad that you are starting to talk about stuff.
Me too- I never felt or was ever sick after binge.
I would just go to bed with all my clothes on and hide under my duvet

Do you kind of go into a trance on a binge? I would just stare in to space and stuff,rather than actually eating IYSWIM

notasheep · 27/03/2006 21:31

and i would just struggle to change that

YOU CAN