I can't cope with life

[BertieBotts]

I don't know how to do the things that normal people do. It's a struggle to remember to look after myself, let alone do normal things like housework.

How can I function as a human when I can't think ahead enough to wash my hair regularly?

I'm so afraid that everyone who loves, supports or cares for me will find out soon enough that I'm letting them all down and then they will disappear and I will have nobody. I'm so afraid that my son will grow up to be lazy and disrespectful because I am lazy and don't respect myself.

I'm spiraling now, so hoping that writing this will help. If I disappear it's because I've reached the point where I can sleep rather than overthinking all night.

Oh no!

I'm sorry to hear that.

Ignore me if this isn't helpful yet when you're still very raw, but please, please try to separate the two things. You have The Fog, I understand about that, we can probably do something about that. It may or may not have impacted on the relationship, but whatever, it CAN be sorted out. You don't need to worry about that at the moment. Breaking up is a separate crappy thing to get through, and I know it will make all your self-punishing instincts ten times worse, but please try to see them as separate problems.

Thinking of you, very sad to see your news,, hope you come back and let us know you are hanging in there.

Thanks all. Thought I would update to say it was more of a panic in the end, apart from when I had to go to work we've spent the day pretty much joined at the hip and have talked lots and concluded that step parenting + long distance relationship is really hard, but that's all it was. Which is probably obvious and because I was feeling crappy already this morning I really thought that was it.

Will talk more tomorrow because we're going to have a nice evening in with some food and a bottle of wine :)

That sounds better !

Awwwww.

That's great.