A sweary thread about anxiety. You have been warned.

[ChickensHaveNoLips]

Fuck off anxiety. Take your shitty, twatting blown-out-of-all-proportion circling thoughts with you. Stop making my poor ole brain fixate and obsess over ridiculous things that raise my heart rate and make me want to run. Stop making me bore myself with this arsing, ridiculous, shitting arseholery.

My name is Chickens, and today I am cripplingly anxious because my dog has got a bit arsey with other dogs trying to take his ball. Yep, it's that twatting trivial. I hate you, brain.

[creativepebble]

Oh no I'm not talking, everyone will think I'm boring. Start talking. Oh no I'm talking too much, shut up. Oh no people are asking me questions. What should I answer? Oh no that was the wrong answer.

Yellow: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Fucking fucking anxiety.

[swanthingafteranother]

well, I was anxious about three things this morning
[like the massage anxiety - I can relate to that

but you have all cheered me up, and I feel less anxious now

so - bog off school play (another performance today)
bog off journey to Guides which clashes with getting ready for school play
and bog off what I am supposed to wear to look glamorous to the sodding school fete
and oh yes four things...bog off worrying about holiday packing/preps/booking taxis/ordering euros/buying cat food

Dh is kind and helpful (if sweary)
the kids are stars (if intermittently screamy)
and the kittens are absolutely adorable

so I am going to face you head on Anxiety, AVAUNT THEE AND QUIT MY SIGHT

[MidoriKobayashi]

HoleyGhost I have found that counselling helps somewhat and am hopeful that it will help more in the longer term. I'd tried a few different types before I found the right one for me and, possibly more importantly, the right practitioner.

[whenskiesaregrey]

Ah this thread...

Fuck

It has taken me ages to identify what I feel as 'anxiety'. DH thinks it is stupid that I say "be careful" everytime he goes anywhere. And if he takes DS in the car, it is even worse. If he doesn't text me as soon as he arrives anywhere, I worry. Also, as a passenger in the car, I'm awful.

Every night I have to check on DS at least twice to make sure he is still breathing. He has just turned three.

I hate the way I always think people are talking about me, and it is always bad. I hate the way I obsess about little things I have said to people.

I hate the way I can't go to bed on my own.

The thing is, outwardly people think I am confident. I don't mind going to new places. I am a confident driver. I'll take DS anywhere. It is things out of my control I can't deal with. It is trusting people with things I care about. If we go on holiday, and the dog stays with my mum, I expect to come home to find her run over, or escaped.

And what makes me angry is that it us affecting DS. He is the one tiptoeing around the soft play area, saying "careful". He has started saying "be careful mummy, there is cars out there". :( :(

Sorry, that wasn't very sweary was it...?

[whenskiesaregrey]

Argh, and my current, all-consuming anxiety is that DS will get a coldsore...WTF? Why does it matter? But it stressed me out so much. DH gets them, and I am constantly reminding him not to kiss DS. If a family member has one, I am constantly flapping around making sure DS doesn't go near them.

[HoleyGhost]

Thanks Midori. I've tried it before with little sucess, will give it another go!

[ChickensHaveNoLips]

[DimplesOHara]

Aww I have found my home.
Dear Anxiety & Panic Attacks

FUCK THE DOUBLE FUCKITY FUCK OFF!

Yes I know you think its fun to hang around together & turn me into a jibbering mess when someone says excuse me to get past, because you make my brain go, why are you always in the way, what if they bumped into you & actually touched you?, why are you to big for someone to get past?! Plus the whole keeping me awake at night with the what ifs and yeah buts!
Actually you can sodding fuck off as well brain!

Annnnnd breath. (but not too deep as you'll start thinking your dying........fuck off anxiety!)

[TalHotBlond]

Fuck the fuck off anxiety you absolute bastard. Take your friend paranoia with you. I can't remember the person I used to be before I had children and started worrying constantly about them and every bloody thing else. I'm sure my life used to be fun!

[DimplesOHara]

Yellow & Chicken
You have summed it up why I don't like going out and why im more depressed the day after.

I bow to you

Oh and fuck off again anxiety panic attacks and the sweating, oh my lord the sweating that you bring on in me

[EclecticWorkInProgress]

Yes, the analyzing...I should be PhD level in analysis. The fucking reels spontaneously create themselves and replay fucking shitty replay replay replay it again: I must have unconsciously insulted someone.

Damn Miss Understood, too. I hate my brain. It fucking sees things from the 1 or 2 percent perspective and NO ONE else will acknowledge the merest possibility of my perspective being valid for any fucking thing.

I don't like going out either. I also don't like waking up at Damned 4 am rehashing events of the previous day, week, month or fucking decade. Why can't my brain just dump this shit? Am I waiting for some grain of sand to magically justify and validate me? Why do I care if I'm validated by/to people I really don't have anything to do with? I DON'T CARE and then that makes me more depressed too.

[creativepebble]

Fuck Bollocks Wank Piss
Needed to come back to have a swear
Went out with some people today and analysed the fuck out of it afterwards without being able to stop.
Then ambled through fucking facebook and saw a comment about me on someone's photos - they were reminiscing- and laughing about irrational behaviour I apparently displayed, the complete fuckers. Yes, over a year ago but bloody hell I'm pissed off, paranoid and hate them now. It was before I joined fb and it's also too long ago and petty to comment back, even to make light of it, the fucking cunting wankers, it really hurt to see it.

[Tizzylizzy]

Creativepebble. That's horrible. I'm annoyed on your behalf. Can you put 'fuck off you fucking dicks - oh shit I'm being irrational again'?

[Nonio]

Love this thread... Worry or anxiety keeping me awake just for a change. Good to know I am not the only one.
Would like to put fucking worry, twatting anxiety and the bastering (don't know if it's a word but don't bollocking care) chemical imbalance that is pissing us all over in a box and blow the crap out of it. Everyone is welcome !

[MrsJohnMurphy]

Fuck the fuck off "informal" parents evening, where both your current and next teacher are available for you to meet. I wouldn't know where to go or what to say, pushy parents will be right in there, gaaaah, I'm staying at home. They probably think I am a shit, don't care uninvolved Mother .

Why the fuck did I go a different way today because people I vaguely know were blocking the path, I hate my stupid brain.

[Jacksmania]

Hmmm, anxiety seems to have temporarily fucked off to parts unknown... maybe most of it got stuck at the border? There is some but its not making me swear as much as usual. (We are camping in the U.S.)

How are my fellow swearers?

[creativepebble]

Yes, thank you thin. Still fucked off now. I appreciate you.
What a lot of shitty brain soup is going on.
Could it be the bollocks weather making us feel even more shit?

[ChickensHaveNoLips]

Well, I just spent 2 nights in hospital with DS1 while he struggled for breath. So my anxiety was replaced with real, gut churning fear instead. It made a change from freaking out about dealing with gas salesmen, but I wouldn't recommend it. Now I'm too scared to go to bed in case I fall in to such a deep sleep I don't hear him calling me. Bollocking arseholes.

[ChickensHaveNoLips]

Oh, and of course now I can be anxious about the dog in a whole new way. Because his presence might make my child ill. I hate me

[FerociousFerret]

I have effervescent fuck-off rage at the self destructiveness within me which leads me to screw up again and again.

And my manager who is so nice but doesn't really understand mental illness.

Gah. Fuck 'em. Kind of.

[Nonio]

Just another day in fucking paradise for most of us then. Good thoughts to chickens Ds.

[creativepebble]

Chickens - big kind and positive thoughts to you.
Fucking Hell.
Dogs are very healing...

"effervescent fuck-off rage at the self destructiveness within me" YES Ferret I hear you. Very painful.

And breathe.

Tomorrow is a new day.

[FerociousFerret]

Pebble, thank you for the fucketty fuck kindness. I have just left my job and must indeed breeeeathe, though it is a huge relief. I feel so much better now.

Hope everyone else has the same fucketty calm (well, think we can all abandon tourettes on here, having been drawn here by the title)

[ChickensHaveNoLips]

So, how is everyone doing tonight? DS is doing better, so I'm a little more relaxed. But this week can fuck right off