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Original poster

Feeling Overwhelmed - again.

141 replies

DumbledoresGirl · 20/02/2006 11:36

Just that. I am feeling overwhelmed again. Nothing really to complain of and no crisis to deal with, but I feel so overwhelmed and despondant.

Anyone else feeling this way today who would like to talk sympathetically to a fellow sufferer?

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tribpot · 21/02/2006 19:28

I feel like I have loads of happy memories but can't decide on a specific one. Like when I got married (only 15 months ago!) that was a happy day, but stressful and also dh was so ill he was in a wheelchair, so not exactly dream-come-true. When ds was born and most days sinced I've been totally freaked, so it's happy-but-not-happy.

Before that it would be generally happy times with friends or family, but in a sense that just reminds me of how badly I feel my friends have let me down since ds was born and dh has been so ill (not in a wheelchair any more thank goodness). It's hard to let go of the bitterness of the fact I feel I've been there for them in their hard times and now I can't see them for dust.

Hmm. Happy times. Tricky!

As to what my patronus would be: definitely my fave animal, the penguin I saw them in the flesh for the first time in South Africa 10 years ago and loved the way they were so clumsy on land but so agile in the water. Just before dh and I met, I arranged to go on a fab tour of Chile - it was called "The Penguin Tour" because we visited various penguin sites (rookeries?) along the way. Dh came with me and we had a brilliant time, I would probably pick a memory from Chile for my patronus actually.

mummytosteven · 21/02/2006 19:30

rather than thinking back to a happy moment, how about thinking back to a time when you felt this bad, but then felt better afterwards - that might help inspire you to feel that you can recover from this low, too?

tribpot · 21/02/2006 19:37

NAWWM, I say definitely take a Prof McGonagall name (I had to look it up) - she is a feisty old bird and no mistake. Definitely heart as well as head.

tribpot · 21/02/2006 20:00

I have of course completely failed to review our subject material for tonight, due to work+baby+dh+dh's doctors+other stupid stuff to sort out, so I apologise in advance for any basic errors I make!

tribpot · 21/02/2006 20:08

However, excellent Wiki cheat sheet!

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 21/02/2006 20:14

NASWM, I have started to think of you as Naz - wan - trying to say the initials as a word IYSWIM, but it doesn't trip off the tongue easily, so by all means, change your name. McGonagall's first name is Minerva if you prefer that? Whatever you choose, get it right first time. I tried to change to simply Dumbledore, but wasn't allowed to as DumbledoresGirl was already registered as a name (by me!) Anyway, I suppose the Girl bit makes me seem younger than I really am, so I suppose I don't mind not being able to be just Dumbledore.

About Patronuses: I agree with you Tribpot that I find it hard to think of a happy memory with which to summon my Patronus as, most of my life, my happy memories are tinged with sadness too. I have honestly been trying to think of a really powerful happy memory all day and I couldn't do it! My wedding day was pretty awful actually, the birth of my children just reminds me of the pain and the anxiety and the worry and stress they have caused me since.... and so on. I am someone for whom it can be truly said the grass is always greener on the other side.

I did google Patronus earlier though and found an American site which asked you quetions to determine what your Patronus would be. I came out as a wolf! I think I would probably choose a panther though. Ds2 is obsessed with penguins and his would be a penguin like yours. But the idea makes me laugh: a penguin waddling off to defeat a Dementor! It would have to be a swimming penguin, do you agree?

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Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 21/02/2006 20:17

So according to that link Tribpot, Tonks' Patronus was weak because she was unhappy?

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tribpot · 21/02/2006 20:24

Ooh, I just did the quiz, how fab. My patronus is apparently a horse, although I still reckon a penguin would be better. It says:

Your Patronus is the Horse! The horse is a symbol of physical and spiritual power and is also a bearer of burdens. He is a powerful ally against your enemies.

That your Patronus is a horse says that you are a strong person--strong enough to bear others' burdens when they become too much. Be careful to consider yourself and you will be a terrific witch or wizard.

Patronus quiz

The dementors are quite under-watery in the film, so I reckon a swimming penguin could take one down. If an otter can, a penguin can I'm sure! Good for your ds2 and his penguin obsession, a boy with taste and discernment.

I'm sure it's hard for all of us as adults to think of a purely happy time in our life, because we know life isn't really like that. It's always good and bad mixed together, having a child is fabulous but also awful and worrying and stressful, that is just how life is. It's so easy to look around at other people and think that they have it easier; I'm sure it generally isn't true but boy sometimes it really does feel that way.

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 21/02/2006 20:45

Yep that's the quiz I did. But did you answer it as you are now or as you would have done as a teenager? (It seems geared to teenagers)

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Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 21/02/2006 20:48

This is what it said about me:

Your Patronus is the Wolf! The wolf is a symbol of wisdom, loyalty and independence. He is one of history's more revered (and feared) characters.

That your Patronus is a wolf says that you are very wise as a person. You tend to be loyal to your friends, even when they screw up, but you are also independent. Finding that balance is key; finding it will ensure that you will be a wonderful witch or wizard!

Actually quite accurate about me.

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tribpot · 21/02/2006 20:50

I answered it as now, although you're right, it's obviously aimed at teenagers. So in the question about what do you see yourself doing, I answered what I might have seen myself doing if I was me but then - if that makes sense!

Also I chose to be in Gryffindor "because I care about people" even though I think I am a classic Hufflepuff.

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 21/02/2006 20:53

Well of course we all want to be in Griffindor (can't even spell it!) but I put Ravenclaw because I used to be bright at school. I would probably be in Hufflepuff if I was being sorted now though - because I am no good at magic. (for magic, read life).

But then there is the option of being a teacher which I used to be, so perhaps I should have put that?

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Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 21/02/2006 20:56

That would have made me a cougar which is pretty close to my choice of a panther.

Anyway tribpot, tell me about your dh. Why was he in a wheelchair for your wedding? Is he on the mend now?

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tribpot · 21/02/2006 20:58

I could have put Ravenclaw for being bright, or Hufflepuff for being more concerned about fair play than anything else (except that wasn't an option). I would naturally think of myself as a Gryffindor type - as you say, it's what everyone wants to be!

However, the Sorting Hat wouldn't put you in Hufflepuff just cos you were having a downer on yourself about being no good at magic, that's the great thing. It would look beyond that and decide for itself - as your unofficial Sorting Hat for tonight, I make you a Ravenclaw, none of this negative "I am not good enough" stuff allowed! Ravenclaw it is

tribpot · 21/02/2006 20:59

Er, would = wouldn't in my last post!

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 21/02/2006 21:02

In that case, I never understood why Hermione was in Gryffindor and not Ravenclaw.

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tribpot · 21/02/2006 21:02

DG, dh has (probably) a condition called fibromyalgia . He's on very heavy duty painkillers, but now the pain team are wanting to wean him off, despite the fact he is at least as unwell as he was when they started. It's just an on-going, full-time nightmare of hassle, sorting out doctors and prescriptions and hospital visits and potential enquiries into the level of opiates being prescribed, etc. It never ends!

tribpot · 21/02/2006 21:03

I think Gryffindors are more all-rounders than Ravenclaws, Hermione has plenty of spunk (if one is allowed to say that on Mumsnet?) as well as academic prowess.

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 21/02/2006 21:06

Oh that is not good about your dh. Any chance of a cure or is it something he will have to live with? I bet that really depresses him.

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tribpot · 21/02/2006 21:06

Live with. And yes, it depresses him a great deal

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 21/02/2006 21:07

I have just looked it up in my medical encyclopaedia and it doesn't really explain why anyone gets it in the first place, just that stress makes it worse. Have you had any explanation?

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giddy1 · 21/02/2006 21:18

Message deleted

tribpot · 21/02/2006 21:23

Giddy, you have more on your plate than I could possibly imagine, and you should not feel at all guilty about not having time/energy to offer support. If my patronus is a horse, yours is an even bigger horse (I hesitate to say elephant ).

Hope dd2 is better and out of hospital, take care only of those things that truly matter.

I have to say, though, that I have found my MN friends much more sympathetic and receptive than my other friends. Partly cos they all have kids and know how it is, and partly I guess I am more open here than I am with other friends - I feel like I shouldn't need to offload on every person I know, surely they can imagine what's wrong?!?! I feel like I'm just complaining if I tell people about stuff, do you know what I mean?

DG, no-one knows why anyone gets it, although it's often associated with trauma. Dh thinks he's had it all of his life.

Oh for Madam Pomfrey and her ability to cure all things!

tribpot · 21/02/2006 21:30

Btw, am about to bow out to watch CSI for a while, we seem to have drifted off the patronus subject I think!

DG, am most jealous of you being a wolf, I see you stalking through the forest picking off prey with ease No dementor could stand a chance!

Still don't think we have uncovered why Tonks' patronus was weak - because it had recently changed form?

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 21/02/2006 21:31

Or why it changed?

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