Is anyone there. I'm having a bad night

[KeemaNaanAndCurryOn]

I've had a bad day and now I'm having a bad night but all I can think of is going and jumping off a bridge which is a ridiculous thing to do and I'd call the crisis team but I've already called them once tonight and in scared they're going to cart me off to hospital if I call and tell them this and I bloody well hate feeling like this and I probably sound like an attention seeking nightmare but I can't get the fucking thought out of my head and it's driving me nuts.

What's the story? Are you alone or is there someone with you or close by you can speak to?

Have you kids in the house?

You are not going to act on these thoughts, it's the ill part of your brain putting them there.
You are going to call the crisis team right now. That's what they are there for.

Who is with you?

If you need to phone them again then do.
It's shite feeling so low bit you can get through it.
Too cold tonight for going out again.

DH is asleep in bed next to me and the DCs are asleep, I thought I'd beaten the anxiety for tonight but then bad it's hit me.

sorry probably not what you want to hear (should I even say this) but isn't hospital actually going to be the answer?

sorry

But if you feel this bad don't you want to be somewhere where someone can help you and then you don't do the thing you dont really want to do. sorry again

Ring the crisis team that is what they're there for.

If I call them then what I'm so fucking scared and I never thought I'd end up doing this on mumsnet but I need some rational people to talk to me and tell
Me I'm being SN idiot

I can call you an idiot if it will help.
Your husband won't let you go off out at this time of night looking for a bridge, have you told him what you are thinking?

Oh love, it's so shitty I know. Have read another of your threads but did'nt comment. Did you get any more diazepam?
These thoughts are a horrible shitty part of your depression :(
Call thecrisis team now, that is what they are there for.
I will be up for a while so happy to hold your hand if you want.

Why not call them again? If you've already spoken to them and you still feel crappy, then they haven't helped. Does DH know what's going on?

What about The Samaritans? Anyone recommend them?

I'm assuming this is an ongoing thing rather than a "sit down with a glass of wine and Red Dwarf dvd".

No he's asleep and I don't want to wake him I just want the thoughts to go away

Are you on ads?

What did the crisis team say?

There is a reason you feel like that do you want to take about it?

What do you use for distraction? I bake.

Far to wet and cold to go out tonight, stay and chat with us instead.

Shall I give you something to google to take your mind from it? dragon butter

Go and have a wee peek at your sleeping kids, make a cuppa, put some music on your headphones or read a book maybe.
Have you anything you can take Xanax or the like?

The fact that you don't agree with the thoughts is a good thing isn't it?

You know its not the answer.

Please ring the proffessionals they'll get you through the night.

Absolutely pissing rain here. I am wrapped up on the couch under a blanket , brrrrrrrr

Don't google dragon butter you'll be sick

I'm going to call them. I had shitty depression which has morphed into really fucking shitty depression and I feel sick to my bones. Believe it or not I'm usually quite a logical person but at the moment its all gone out of the window

And I'm not googling munting either I know you lot bloody mumsnetters wanting me to google stuff in accrisis

Blue waffle is where it's at anyway

I try to take my mind off it. So i plsy angry birds on my phone or read a book until im soooo tird i have to sleep. Distraction is your friend.

I also make sure i stay in bed so i know im safe and not in the kitchen where the knived are.

Oh, it's freezing. And rainy. I am cold, but then I have no heating atm.

Well done for deciding to ring them.

Lots of Mumsnetters here to chat if you need em...

Wise woman, very wise. Never, ever google anything this lot tell you too - they're evil!!

It's like sissors, rock, paper isn't it - depression 'beats' logical every time :(

What have you got planned for tomorrow?

i'm here
in a different time zone so will be around for a bit

your user name has made me decide we are getting curry for tea tonight