Insomnia friends - help me beat this

[GetDownYouWillFall]

Am gutted to be resurrecting this thread as it means I am back in that same dark hole where I never wanted to be ever again.

But here I am.

My nights are so filled with anxiety I can't bear it. My body is so so tired, yet something in my mind fights sleep and just won't let go.

I know that the only way to beat it is to beat the anxiety. I used to know how to do it. But I've forgotten the secret. Please insomnia friends come back and help me remember how to beat it.

I've been here so many times before. I know in my mind it won't go on forever, but I'm not being rational. It feels like I've forgotten how to sleep. It's ruining my life. I'm irritable, forgetful, shaky, clumsy, miserable.

I love my baby and I love my little girl. I love my husband. Why is this happening. I don't have any "real" problems like so many people. I feel so guilty.

I just want to sleep again, and feel normal.

sorry to hear you had a bad night becky but if you're anything like me these days, one bad night does not necessarily mean another bad night. to be honest even if it does, it doesn't get to me like it used to. we are in the process of selling our house, buying a new one and relocating and for two weeks i didn't sleep well. but i was able to control (just about the negative sleep thoughts) so that once i was less stressed about it all i started sleeping ok again.

how are you getdown? i have been thinking about you. it's gone a bit quiet on this thread - i hope you are ok.

Sorry, bracket marks where they shouldn't be..it should have read...

I was (just about ) able to control the negative sleep thoughts ..

sorry I ended up posting on the other thread that is going at the moment, where poppypops is struggling with post natal insomnia too.

Last night was actually a bit of a break through (I hope!) slept without zopiclone from 10-4 which I was really pleased with. This is the first natural sleep I've had in about 3 weeks. Was so relieved that my body remembered how to sleep, I was beginning to get that desperate feeling that I would never sleep again.

I still feel weird today - kind of heavy and aching muscles, but soooo much better than a few days ago. The anxiety has reduced a lot;. I think maybe the ADs are kicking in. I'm also on quetiapine which apparently can leave you feeling pretty sedated for a while. But I don't really care, I'd rather feel sedated than wired and anxious any day!

Hope your house move goes well countrylover I hate moving house. Isn't it supposed to be one of the most stressful life events you can go through? Remember if you can get through this you can get through anything! Well done for keeping your sleep thoughts positive, even after some bad nights. You give me hope that I won't struggle with this insomnia anxiety forever!

Oh Getdown so pleased with the 10-4 sleep

Just try not to get totally freaked out if it doesn't happen again tonight. Two steps forward, one step back. Still progress.

Countrylover housemove here too - on the 29th of March, just seen the house inside today. Thankfully, because it's a move from one church house to the other there's no buying and selling hassle and we already have the key.

wow - getdown - that is fantastic! as madmouse said though, don't put yourself under pressure to achieve the same tonight. if it doesn't happen then it doesn't mean you're back to square one by any means.

getting better is tiny steps but i can see reading the whole thread that you're well on the way. from the start when you were clinging on for dear life to now when you've begun to notice small things which make you happy and sleeping without zopiclone for one night. it's all going in the right direction.

madmouse - house moving is indeed stressful - are you moving far? we've been planning this big move for years but i haven't been 'ready' for it until now. again, it shows how far i've come because i couldn't even contemplate uprooting my whole life this time two years ago. i could barely leave the house! so there you go getdown - anything is possible!

Aah getdown thats great news . Agree with the others - it wont all miraculously improve in one go but brilliant first step. Must be such a relief for to have some reduction in the anxiety.

madmouse - good luck with the move !

oh and countrylover :)

Hello everyone, I did sleep better the next night CountryLover and I did tell myself that what was keeping me awake was the stress of being the lone parent in charge for two nights, DS3 having a bad cold, and the fear of a bad night with DS3. So I was ok.

I'm so chuffed I have to share this with you all. I've just found a brand new Gruffalo dressing gown for DS3 in a charity shop! I snapped it up. It is so cute. It has purple prickles on the back. He's out with DH at the moment but he will love it :) Small pleasures and all that.

Just wanted to drop in to say I am feeling much much better this morning. It's two weeks today since starting the higher dose of mirtazapine and I do feel it's starting to help. I actually feel calm - an emotion that has been completely absent for about a month! I slept without zopiclone last night which was such a relief. To feel that I can sleep naturally again.

I don't feel fully normal, but I do feel a whole lot better. I hope everyone else is doing ok. Thanks for encouraging me, and telling me I would get better! I'm not saying I am fully there, but just so glad for every "good" day. I am appreciating the days one at a time and not letting any positive day go unappreciated.

Getdown!

Do take it easy please - baby steps and all that xx

That's great news GetDown really pleased for you:)

Wow - I had to really search to even find this thread which I am taking as a good sign! That's so fantastic that you're feeling a bit better and on the road to recovery getdown. I saw a couple of very positive posts from you on FB so it seems the AD's are really kicking in now.

If you get a chance getdown do let us know how you got on this week.

Thanks countrylover yes things are so much better. I really think mirtazapine is the AD that works for me. Last time I got ill after DD I was on lofepramine for ages and it took me a long time to get better. This time I feel like a different person and it's only been a few weeks of taking the AD.

I saw the crisis team yesterday. They want to see me once more and then they plan to discharge me - yay!

:)

I want to move from where we live to somewhere more affordable. My husband is dead set against this. My kids are 4 and six and we are in a two bed flat. We live in an expensive part of Herts but could well afford a three bed house in other parts of the county, which we cook both get to work from. Am I being unreasonable? I work part-time and am the primary carer. I worry about money a lot and cannot sleep at night for hours and hours.

hello getdown,

Im just wondering how you did with mirtazapine? Did it cure your insomnia? I'm having such a horrible time right now with insomnia and it's taking a toll on my relationships and I really want to enjoy my little one so bad. My Pdoc prescribed mirtazapine but I don't really like taking medications. Please tell me if mirtazapine eventually helped you. Thank you for your time.